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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28142250">I See You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourmothersmeatloaf/pseuds/yourmothersmeatloaf'>yourmothersmeatloaf</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Slow Build</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:54:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>87,286</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28142250</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourmothersmeatloaf/pseuds/yourmothersmeatloaf</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Akaashi and Bokuto figure out what they feel towards each other through their high school volleyball careers.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. No Respect For Your Upperclassmen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Akaashi-san!” Bokuto shouted. “That was a great practice.</p><p>“Would’ve been better if you practiced anything other than line shots. And did about three million less of them.”</p><p>“Wow,” Bokuto snickered. “But then you wouldn’t have been able to see me score so many points!”</p><p>“I’ll be impressed when you’re up against actual blockers.”</p><p>“It’s not <em> my </em>fault everyone’s so weak that they don’t want to practice extra!”</p><p>“Actually… It definitely is.”</p><p>Bokuto blinked down at him, “What do you mean?”</p><p>“You can’t reasonably expect everyone else to stay behind for <em> hours </em> to block you while you practice <em> .” </em></p><p>“You’re lucky to be our starting setter, you know. First years don’t get that privilege very often.”</p><p>“That still doesn’t mean I want to practice until it’s dark out every night.”</p><p>Bokuto glanced down at him. The wind shook their hair outside of the school. Bokuto put his hands in his pockets and turned away with a small smile.</p><p>“Be careful, Akaashi-san. You might make me think you don’t like me!”</p><p>Akaashi watched him closely as he began walking away with a neutral expression, then furrowed his brow at the guy as he stopped walking and turned to him with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>“Or maybe you’re just in love with me,” Bokuto laughed before starting on his walk again. “Why else would you stay if you really didn’t like it?”</p><p>Akaashi stared after him, the wind blowing through his collar and sending chills through his chest. He pulled his jacket tightly around himself before rolling his eyes and starting his walk home. </p><p>He simply practiced so much with him because he had to. If they ever expected to sync up or win a game, he had no choice but to keep up. Not to say that he was even close to the same level as Bokuto, but there was a maximum gap of talent and skill that could exist between them and Akaashi couldn’t let it get too large. He really did like volleyball and wanted to play. Unfortunately that just meant dealing with Kōtarō Bokuto. A lot. He was talented, sure. But he was <em> annoying. </em>He had so many… quirks. Akaashi was doing all he could to get used to them and adjust but it was a lot so fast.</p><p>“What kind of person says something like that after three weeks of knowing someone?” Akaashi whispered to himself as he glared against the wind.</p><p> </p><p>Akaashi tied his shoes up in the gym. They’d been working for a solid month on perfecting their quick attack but it just wasn’t <em> working. </em>That was frustrating enough on its own, but then they guy had honest to god meltdowns when they didn’t get it too many times in a row. Akaashi began breaking up their individual practices with other things that he knew Bokuto would be able to get without a doubt just to boost his ego.</p><p>He looked up as he saw white and black sneakers in front of him. He blinked as he met Bokuto’s eyes then redirected his attention to his laces.</p><p>Bokuto pursed his lips and sat at his feet, cocking his head at him, “Akaashi!”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Aren’t you excited?”</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“It’s another day!”</p><p>Akaashi paused to look at him, “It’s just another day.”</p><p>Bokuto clapped loudly and held his hands up, “That’s where you’re wrong!”</p><p>“Oh?” Akaashi pulled his legs to the side so he could stand.</p><p>Bokuto stood and followed him to the court and followed him in his stretches, despite already doing them.</p><p>“Yes! Today is the day we get our quick attack down!” Bokuto slammed his fist into his palm.</p><p>Akaashi took in his large frame, deeming it the only reason he was able to carry both so much enthusiasm and angst at all times. He didn’t say anything because he didn’t have anything nice to say. He would’ve been fine  with the sentiment had it been genuine, but it was nothing more than cockiness. They were still a long way from getting it down.</p><p>Bokuto followed him to the ball cart like a lost puppy once he was warmed up. He sighed and handed the ball to Bokuto, moving back onto the court. It was just them. It was just them frequently. He showed up early in hopes of not having to stay too late afterwards. It hadn’t worked thus far, but he held onto hope.</p><p>He closed his eyes and shut all thoughts of anything except the ball out. He opened his eyes and nodded at Bokuto, who smiled wickedly. He tossed the ball to Akaashi as he charged forward. Akaashi watched the ball closely, moving his hands up. He furrowed his brow as he adjusted the angle of his fingers and the space between his thumbs ever so slightly. He sent the ball back up and gasped as it landed directly in Bokuto’s palm and was slamming into the floor before he could even process it.</p><p>“Whoa,” Akaashi looked down at his hands, then back at the ball.</p><p>Bokuto stayed close to the ground as he watched the ball roll away. He slowly turned to look at Akaashi, who was already staring back. He knew he told Akaashi they’d get it that time, but… He didn’t <em> really </em>think they would.</p><p>Akaashi was <em> alright </em>at setting, but it seemed as though something just clicked inside his head. Up until that moment their quicks simply didn’t work. The sets were either unhittable or Bokuto just couldn’t get the timing right. They could both hear the other thinking.</p><p>
  <em> ‘You grew.’ </em>
</p><p>Bokuto stood slowly and turned to Akaashi. They stared at each other for a long moment, considering one another.</p><p>“Right,” Bokuto said slowly before ducking under the net to get the ball. “What did I tell you? Let’s do it again!”</p><p>Practice ran late. Of course it did. The other boys were long gone when Bokuto threw the ball back to Akaashi.</p><p>“Just one more, okay?”</p><p>“Bokuto-san, you said that for the last thirty seven tosses. I have homework.”</p><p>“Okay, just one more, though. Okay?”</p><p>Akaashi sighed and complied. He set the ball Bokuto threw to him and watched as he charged the net. He jumped… so high and hit the ball… so hard. He put his entire body into spike, sending it over with intense velocity. Akaashi’s eyes widened as he examined the focus and intent behind his eyes. His movements were so much more calculated than when they met.</p><p>“That’s what I’m talking about!” Bokuto clenched his fists tightly.</p><p>“Bokuto-san?”</p><p>“Huh?” Bokuto looked at him, looking like the airhead Akaashi knew him to be once again.</p><p>“Do you practice without us?”</p><p>“What? Of course! None of you are here often enough at all!”</p><p>Akaashi stared at him before humming and walking to change his shoes. When did he even find the time? Akaashi already felt as though he spent all of his time in the gym. He sat heavily on the floor and untied his volleyball shoes, reaching for his regular ones.</p><p>“Aren’t you going to put your pants on?” Bokuto asked as he did just that.</p><p>“Oh,” Akaashi said, looking out the window and seeing it was dark. He should’ve realized.</p><p>He stared pulling his pants over his shorts when he saw Bokuto <em> smirking. </em>He paused with his pants at mid thigh level. </p><p>
  <em> “What?” </em>
</p><p>Bokuto shrugged as he smirked wider while tying his laces, “Nothin’.”</p><p>Akaashi finished getting his pants on, “Tell me.”</p><p>“Oh, look at this! Little Akaashi-san <em> asking </em>me to talk to him!” Bokuto laughed.</p><p>“You’re laughing at me,” Akaashi said while he pulled his shoes on, “Why?”</p><p>Bokuto stood and stretched his arms out, and Akaashi certainly did not notice the way his muscles flexed. He said nothing as he pulled his jacket on and slung his bag over his chest. Akaashi hurried to tie his shoes as Bokuto left the gym without ever answering his question. When he was done, he snatched his bag up and ran after him.</p><p>“Hey!”</p><p>“Hey, hey, hey,” Bokuto said loudly without turning back.</p><p>“Wait!”</p><p>Bokuto stopped walking finally and turned to face him, one hand in his pants pocket. He leaned all his weight on one leg and cocked his head at Akaashi. Akaashi finished catching up and stared up at him.</p><p>“Yes, Akaashi-san?”</p><p>“I want to know why you were laughing at me!” Akaashi stared at him.</p><p>“It’s really nothing.”</p><p>“Just tell me.”</p><p>Bokuto’s smile never fell, “You were having so much fun practicing that you didn’t realize night came. It just makes me happy. I wasn’t laughing <em> at </em>you.”</p><p>Akaashi took a step back, “Why would that make you happy?”</p><p>“Why wouldn’t it?”</p><p>Akaashi stared into Bokuto’s smile before turning in the opposite direction to start his own walk home. He walked forward as fast as his long legs would carry him. He definitely did <em> not </em> turn to glance back and see if Bokuto was still there, and he certainly was <em> not </em> disappointed when he was gone. That guy was so, <em> so </em>annoying.</p><p>
  
</p><p>It was coming up on exam season. The team was working extra hard on their classes because if they failed they couldn’t go to their training camp. Akaashi was thankful for the opportunity to focus on keeping his grades up. Bokuto still attempted to get them to stay extra late at practice, not wanting to make a fool of himself in front of one of his friends from a different school. Kuroo, if he was right. Fortunately, their coach simply wouldn’t allow it.</p><p>So, he showed up at practice exactly when it was meant to start. He changed into his practice clothes, did up his shoes <em> and </em>warmed up all without Bokuto bothering him. He paid no mind. Bokuto was much less clingy to him when the other guys were there. He just enjoyed the space. Having Bokuto cling to him was akin to being wrapped in seran.</p><p>The problem came during their three on three drills. Akaashi set a ball, thinking of the exact timing and angle of where he’d send it. He was very proud of the set. It was perfect. He turned and watched it just fly, and fly, and <em> fly. </em> His head snapped to Bokuto, who just <em> stood </em>there. His brain flitted through his mental lists of all of Bokuto’s issues. He wasn’t sure what the problem was. None of them applied.</p><p><em> ‘What now?’ </em>Akaashi thought sourly.</p><p>The coach eventually switched Bokuto out for a third year, and Akaashi thought he’d finally be able to breathe again. Only, Bokuto just glared at him with crossed arms from the bench. Not the team, <em> him. </em> Was Bokuto angry with <em> him? </em>Why?</p><p>He never got an answer. Bokuto was changed and gone before Akaashi even noticed. He turned towards Sarukui and vaguely gestured to where Bokuto last sat.</p><p>“Oh, uh, he’s mad at you.”</p><p>“I figured as much. Why?”</p><p>“Um,” Sarukui held back a laugh. “He heard that you have the other first years over to study.”</p><p>“What?” Akaashi asked flatly.</p><p>“Yeah. He said that you have ‘nerve’ and ‘no respect for your upperclassmen’.”</p><p>“That’s ridiculous.”</p><p>“Maybe. But if you want practices to go well, you should probably just invite him.”</p><p>“We aren’t even in the same year.”</p><p>“I know,” Sarukui looked sheepish. “He doesn’t exactly work by the same rules as the rest of us.”</p><p>Akaashi sighed, “Fine. Do you have his phone number?”</p><p>“Are you sure that’s a channel you want to open up to him?”</p><p>He raised a good point, but Akaashi figured it couldn’t be that bad. Not worse than watching Bokuto mope around forever. So, he just nodded. Sarukui took his phone and copied the number into it for him before handing it back.</p><p>Akaashi dialled as he opened his bag and removed his pants from it. Two rings. Three. Five. Voicemail. He sighed again and put his phone down so he could pull his pants on over his shorts and get his jacket done up. It was so cold out recently.</p><p>“Ready?” Anahori asked, standing with a couple other first years.</p><p>Akaashi nodded and began walking back to his house with them. Did he really <em> want </em>Bokuto at his house? Not particularly, but how bad could it really be?</p><p>He decided to text him, instead. Some people just didn’t answer no caller IDs.</p><p><em> ‘ </em> <b> <em>Akaashi Keiji: </em> </b> <em> Bokuto-san, it’s Akaashi from volleyball. Would you like to come prepare for exams with us?’ </em></p><p>“What are you doing?” Anahori asked.</p><p>“Inviting Bokuto to come study with us,” Akaashi said flatly.</p><p>“Really?” Anahori asked.</p><p>Just as Akaashi was about to apologize for the guy’s ridiculous behaviour, Anahori cut him off.</p><p>“You’re so lucky!”</p><p>“Lucky?”</p><p>“Yeah, man! You get to set for <em> Bokuto Kōtarō! </em> He’s in the top ten in our entire <em> nation! </em> And he <em> wants </em>to hang out with you.”</p><p>“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” Akaashi muttered.</p><p><em> ‘ </em> <b> <em>Unknown: </em> </b> <em> TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH where when’ </em></p><p>Anahori leaned in to read the text, “You wouldn’t, would you?”</p><p>Akaashi glanced at him sideways before sending Bokuto his address. They continued to Akaashi’s house quietly and were greeted by his mother when they arrived. They made their way up to his room where Anahori played some mellow music and they got to work.</p><p>“Keiji?” His mother called up the stairs. “Can you come here?”</p><p>Akaashi furrowed his brow and excused himself from his friends before going down the stairs. He found his mother peeking around the corner in the living room, staring out the window.</p><p>“Is everything okay?”</p><p>His mother gestured out the window, “There’s a strange man in our yard. He’s just been standing there for about ten minutes now.”</p><p>Akaashi’s heart raced as he looked out the window, only to see Bokuto. His anxious face fell flat as he watched him search through his bag.</p><p>“Don’t worry. That’s a teammate. He’s here to study with us.”</p><p>“Oh?” His mother asked, stepping out from behind the corner. “Why is he acting so strange?”</p><p>“Because he’s an idiot.”</p><p>She looked at him strangely as he opened the door.</p><p>“Bokuto-san, are you coming inside?”</p><p>Bokuto jumped and blushed hard as he looked up at Akaashi. Bokuto blushed further as he fully took in Akaashi. He was only wearing sweatpants and a long sleeved t-shirt, but he looked so good anyways. Bokuto supposed he was lucky that the wind already whipped his face red.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Akaashi stood aside and allowed Bokuto into his home. The ace took awkwardly large steps as he examined his surroundings. Akaashi’s home was very neat, if a bit small. He waved largely to his mother who laughed awkwardly and waved back.</p><p>“We’re upstairs,” Akaashi said, leading him to the rest of their present teammates.</p><p>Their teammates greeted Bokuto enthusiastically as Akaashi sat back at the low table. Bokuto smiled at them as he settled down with his back against Akaashi’s bed. He was in <em> Akaashi’s room. </em>The most intimate space anyone could have! He looked around and saw that his room was neater and more devoid of decor than the rest of the house. Was he not a sentimental person at all?</p><p>“Hey, do one of you have a notebook I could borrow?” Bokuto rubbed the back of his neck. “I might’ve forgotten mine.”</p><p>“You forgot your notebook when you knew you were coming to study?” Akaashi raised an eyebrow at him.</p><p>“It happens!” Bokuto crossed his arms defensively.</p><p>“Here,” Akaashi handed him a notebook. “You can keep this.”</p><p>“Thanks!” Bokuto beamed as he took it.</p><p>It was only a ruled paper notebook. Spiral spine. White cover. But he loved it. He ran his finger over the tag on the front where Akaashi wrote his name. He loved it so much.</p><p>He took out his math textbook as it was the subject he needed to focus on the most. Other than Japanese. And English. He sighed and zoned in on the diagrams of triangles and angles in his book. They had quiet music playing, but other than that everything was silent. It was so distracting.</p><p>“Thirty seven B?” Anahori asked.</p><p>“Four eighty,” another first year said.</p><p>“How?”</p><p>“Parentheses first,” Akaashi said.</p><p>“Oh. Got it.”</p><p>The conversation was over as soon as it started. How did they study that way? The silence ate at Bokuto as he fell further and further out of focus. His attention zoned in on the music as the song changed.</p><p>A soft beat played as the lyrics started.</p><p>
  <em> ‘And all I am is a man </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I want the world in my hands </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I hate the beach </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But I stand in California with my toes in the sand </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Use the sleeves on my sweater </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Lets have an adventure’ </em>
</p><p>Was that Akaashi’s music? Bokuto stared down at the blue lines in the notebook as he listened. Did Akaashi listen to that song because he identified with it?</p><p>
  <em> ‘Head in the clouds but my gravity centered </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Touch my neck and I'll touch yours </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You in those little high waisted shorts’ </em>
</p><p>He glanced at Akaashi as he leaned over his notebook, writing diligently. He would. He’d touch Akaashi’s neck. He’d love it if he’d touch his back.</p><p>
  <em> ‘And if I may just take your breath away </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I don't mind if there's not much to say </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sometimes the silence guides your mind </em>
</p><p>
  <em> So move to a place so far away’ </em>
</p><p>He tapped his pencil against the paper as he looked around the room. He actually wasn’t minding the silence if that song was playing. He wondered if he was given the opportunity to see into Akaashi’s soul with those lyrics.</p><p>
  <em> ‘The goosebumps start to race </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The minute that my left hand meets your waist </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And then I watch your face </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Put my finger on your tongue 'cause you love to taste yeah’ </em>
</p><p>His mind wandered from the room. He pictured himself and Akaashi out on the court, performing their combo attacks and taking down the enemy. He pictured himself holding him as they celebrated. He pictured himself sneering at Forever Alone Kuroo-san as he showed off his perfect partner. He pictured Akaashi <em> smiling </em>at him, loudly proclaiming he was his. God, he wanted it.</p><p>He wasn’t sure <em> why </em> he felt that way. Akaashi didn’t seem to like him very much, but he also wasn’t sure if that was just a front. Akaashi teased him a lot. That was clearly flirting, right? His brain spiralled back into the present moment and he looked back at Akaashi who leaned over the table to discuss a question with another first year. Bokuto looked at the curve of his spine and the way his hair curled in unpredictable places. He watched his intense, sharp, dark eyes study their teammate’s face as he spoke. He wanted that gaze on <em> him. </em></p><p>His wish was granted when those gunmetal irises landed on him. He immediately regretted making his wish. He just about crumbled under the split second of eye contact. He wasn’t strong enough. That being said, when Akaashi looked away again, Bokuto’s soul yearned to be seen again.</p><p>“What’s this song called?”</p><p>Anahori looked at him, “Oh, it’s <em> Sweater Weather </em> by <em> The Neighbourhood.” </em></p><p>Bokuto nodded and made the first note of the night in the notebook.</p><p>“Bokuto-san. Are you focusing over there?”</p><p>He glanced over the top of the notebook and met Akaashi’s eyes again. Had he been standing, he would’ve fallen to his knees.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Let me see.”</p><p>Bokuto panicked as Akaashi reached his hand out for the notebook and held it back over his head, “Okay. Maybe not.”</p><p>Akaashi shook his head, “Please focus, Bokuto-san. Is there anything we can do to help you?”</p><p>“No,” Bokuto shook his head. “I can do it.”</p><p>Akaashi considered him for a moment before going back to his own studies. Bokuto refocused on his textbook. It was just <em> gibberish. </em>It didn’t make sense. Who even needed trigonometry? Nonsense. His mind wandered again as he traced the diagrams into the notebook with low skill. His head snapped up as the music stopped and his teammates stood and got their coats on. He scrambled up and followed suit, shoving his books back into his bag. That passed too quickly. He didn’t even get to talk to Akaashi that much. What was the point?</p><p>He frowned as he noticed Anahori was the one controlling the music. That wasn’t Akaashi’s song at all.</p><p>Akaashi saw them out but caught Bokuto by the strap of his bag before he got too far. The ace turned to look at him.</p><p>“Would you like to stay for a bit longer, Bokuto-san?”</p><p>Bokuto crossed his arms and smiled smugly, “Just can’t get enough of me, huh?”</p><p>“It isn’t that. It's just that I’m genuinely worried that you won’t pass your exams and I’d like to go to training camp.”</p><p>“You’d get to go whether or not I pass,” Bokuto said, frowning.</p><p>“Yeah, but I want to <em> win </em>at training camp, too.”</p><p>Bokuto’s smile returned. He knew Akaashi wanted him. And if he didn’t yet, he would.</p><p>“Okay!”</p><p>They went back to Akaashi’s room and Bokuto stripped his bag and jacket off again. He reclaimed his seat by the bed and took out his text and notebook.</p><p>“Come sit over here. I’ll help you.”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Bokuto sat far from him. “It’s hard. And a year above you.”</p><p>“Let me try.”</p><p>“Okay,” he breathed as the setter moved closer and pulled his textbook over to himself. He smelled like the ocean.</p><p>“This is just trigonometry,” Akaashi said. “That’s what we’re doing in our university prep class right now.”</p><p>“You’re in university prep?”</p><p>Akaashi nodded, “What don’t you understand about this?”</p><p>“...All of it,” Bokuto mumbled and crossed his arms.</p><p>Akaashi blinked at him, “All of it?”</p><p>“Yep. It’s stupid anyways. Who cares?”</p><p>“Your teachers. Our coach? Our team if you can’t come with us?”</p><p>“Fine,” Bokuto glared at him. “Why don’t you show me how it’s done, then, smartass?”</p><p>Akaashi agreed and explained it all to him five times. Bokuto glared at the papers before confirming what Akaashi had been telling him.</p><p>“Good job,” Akaashi said.</p><p>“Thanks!” Bokuto beamed, slamming his hand on their notes. “It’s like there's a little voice in my head saying all the things I see! It helps make sense of it all!”</p><p>“A little voice?” Akaashi cocked his head at him.</p><p>“Yeah! It’s like… I see the numbers on the paper and the little voice says them and it makes it make more sense.”</p><p>“Are you…” Akaashi leaned on the table and covered his mouth as he stared with wide eyes. “Are you talking about <em> thinking?” </em></p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“Like… your inner monologue? That voice in your head all the time? Your <em> thoughts?” </em></p><p>Bokuto leaned in and whispered, “You have it too?”</p><p>Akaashi leaned back and stared at him expressionlessly, <em> “Everyone </em> has that, Bokuto-san. Everyone <em> thinks.” </em></p><p>“Not everyone,” Bokuto said defensively.</p><p>“Mostly everyone.”</p><p>“Whatever,” Bokuto snapped before slumping and whispering, “Please don’t tell anyone.”</p><p>Akaashi stared down to where he wrote in the notebook he gave to Bokuto before glancing up.</p><p>“Huh? Sorry, I was thinking about all the people I’m going to tell.”</p><p>Bokuto howled with laughter before settling into a glare, “Hilarious.”</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>“Do you ever smile, Akaashi-san?”</p><p>Akaashi looked back at him, “Yes?”</p><p>“I’m yet to see it.”</p><p>“Then I guess you just aren’t very funny.”</p><p>“I don’t know how you could even say something like that! I’m very funny.”</p><p>“I’m sure you are. Can we focus on this, though?” Akaashi gestured down to their notes. “We’re supposed to be working on math.”</p><p>“Okay,” Bokuto folded his arms on the table and leaned his chin on them.</p><p>He tried <em> so hard </em>to listen to Akaashi, but his voice was like smooth honey drowning out and muffling the actual words he was saying. The smell of the ocean brought his brain to far, far away places. Bokuto watched his hands as he gestured, pointed and wrote. Bokuto sat up a bit as he looked at his fingers fiddle with the mechanical pencil.</p><p>“Bokuto-san?” Akaashi flicked the pencil at him. “Which function would you use to solve this problem?”</p><p>
  <em> “Are your hands bigger than mine?” </em>
</p><p>Akaashi sighed and his shoulders slumped, “What?”</p><p>“Your hands!” Bokuto held his hand out, demanding a comparison. “Are they <em> bigger than mine?” </em></p><p>“Does it even really matter?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Akaashi sighed even louder before rolling his eyes and dropping the pencil. He pressed his palm against Bokuto's, causing the hitter’s heart to explode in the brightest display of fireworks. He adjusted their hands so the heels of their palms were exactly even and balked at the sight of Akaashi’s fingers dwarfing his.</p><p>
  <em> “No way.” </em>
</p><p>“Are you through?” Akaashi asked flatly.</p><p>“I’m outraged, is what I am.”</p><p>Akaashi pulled his hand away and wiped it on his pants before picking up the pencil again. Bokuto leaned on his other hand, still feeling the ghost of Akaashi’s touch on his free one.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Which function would you use to solve this problem?”</p><p>Bokuto stared at the question for a long, <em> long </em>minute, “Um. Tangent?”</p><p>“Good!”</p><p>Bokuto didn’t admit that it was still a fifty fifty guess, or whatever one hundred divided into thirds was, but he was still proud of himself. They went through a few more questions before Akaashi yawned largely, then covered his mouth, embarrassed. His yawn was contagious and Bokuto covered his mouth as he yawned too.</p><p>“Sounds like bedtime,” Akaashi said, standing and stretching his fingers out.</p><p>“Right,” Bokuto stretched his back out with his palms far behind him.</p><p>They looked at each other for a moment before Bokuto packed up and Akaashi walked him out. He stood in the doorway and watched Bokuto make his way to the sidewalk.</p><p>“Hey!” He called.</p><p>“Yeah?” Bokuto turned to look at him.</p><p>“Are you practicing tomorrow morning?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“You’ll hurt yourself.”</p><p>“No, I’ll just get better.”</p><p>Akaashi hummed disapprovingly as he watched him. The wind pressed his hair close to his scalp and burned his skin. His jacket blew out behind him as he clung to his bag. It was the most human Akaashi had ever seen him.</p><p>“Goodnight, Bokuto-san.”</p><p>“Goodnight.”</p><p>Bokuto watched him close the door. Then, he watched the door for a moment. A long moment. He couldn’t feel the wind burning his skin because the blood that flooded his cheeks kept him warm. Akaashi cared about him. He didn’t want him to get hurt. He smiled with new thoughts in his head.</p><p><em> ‘Thinking,’ </em>he thought amusedly.</p><p>Hopefully Akaashi was thinking about him as well.</p><p>He made his way home, entering loudly.</p><p>“I have arrived!”</p><p>“Hey, Kōtarō,” his mother called. “How was studying?”</p><p>“Good!”</p><p>He removed his shoes and walked to his room, throwing his bag down as he sat heavily on the bed. He ripped the notebook out from inside his bag and threw himself onto his back across the mattress. He held the book up above his head with a large smile. He reread the label probably a hundred times.</p><p>“Akaashi Keiji.”</p><p>He flipped through the pages they filled, admiring the neat corrections to his own sloppy handwriting. Akaashi’s perfection was so deep it seeped into everything he did. Even quick notes from a short study session that likely meant nothing to him.</p><p>Bokuto’s heart ate itself as he realized he was <em> happy </em> while looking at <em> math. </em>Until that moment he thought math would only ever run his soul into the ground, but suddenly it made him feel weightless. Except, it wasn’t the math that gave him that feeling. No, it wasn’t the math at all. He closed the book again and ran his finger over the rough surface of the label until his finger hit the glossy material of the white cover once again.</p><p>“Akaashi Keiji,” he repeated. “I’ll make you mine someday.”</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Work For It</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Akaashi sat across from his team’s faculty advisor at Mori Junior High School. The teacher handed him two different envelopes. He took them and frowned. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You can open them now or later, but they are recommendations from two high schools,” the teacher beamed at him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Oh?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He read the return addresses on the first one— Suzumeoka High School, then the second— Fukurōdani Academy. He didn’t know much about either school, honestly. Both were powerhouse schools, but that was all. Suzumeoka was notably better than Fukurōdani, better than most schools, actually. He wasn’t sure why either would want him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You obviously don’t have to make a decision straight away, seeing as you don’t need to take the entrance exam for either if you so choose to attend. That being said, if you don’t choose either, I would come to that decision sooner rather than later.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Right,” Akaashi stared down at the envelopes before standing and bowing. “Thank you very much.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Absolutely. Congratulations, young man. It’s been a pleasure watching you grow on our team this past year.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Thank you.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> When he got home he went straight to his room and tore into the first letter from Suzumeoka. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> ‘Mr. Akaashi, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Please see the following attached documents and fill out all highlighted portions if interested in our offer of entrance into both our school and Boy’s Volleyball team. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> We look forward to your prompt response. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sincerely, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Hokama Masato - Head of Sports Faculty for Suzumeoka High School’ </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He hummed and flipped through the pages before opening the considerably thicker envelope from Fukurōdani Academy. Immediately, small pieces of confetti fell out onto his desk, causing him to curse. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Why?” He anguished, trying to sweep them into a pile. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He decided right then and there that wouldn’t be the school he went to. He finished pulling the papers out carefully so as to not spill any more confetti on his floor. The first entire page just read, ‘CONGRATULATIONS’ in large writing. The next was a more formal letter. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> ‘Dear Mr. Akaashi, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Please find enclosed the necessary forms for enrolling in our school absolutely free of charge! We have observed your technical skills and raw talent at the Japan National Junior High Boy’s Volleyball Tournament and would be simply honored by your presence at our school and on our team. In addition to the forms we require you fill out and mail back, please find two tickets to the Japan National High School Boy’s Volleyball Tournament. We hope you will be able to find adequate travelling accommodations necessary to come view our team in person and in real time. Consider it an audition specifically for you! </em>
</p><p>
  <em> We eagerly wait for your response! </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Well wishes, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Endo Yoshiaki - Overseeing Supervisor of Fukurōdani Sports Division’ </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Akaashi slid out the tickets from behind the rest of the forms and stared down at them before a large smile crossed his face. Maybe the letter was a bit over the top, but it was far more personal than the first. Maybe Fukurōdani wouldn’t be as bad as he thought. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He and his mother shifted through the people at the tournament. Akaashi glanced at his event programme and directed them to the railing of where the game was already happening. They ran late leaving the house, but at least they’d catch the rest of the game. He pocketed his paper and leaned over the railing as his mother typed away on her phone. His eyes skated over the black and white clad players down on the court before looking at the score. They were winning at 23-12 in the third set, having already won the first two. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Wow.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What?” His mother looked up. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “This game may already be over,” Akaashi said, running his thumbs anxiously over the railing. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What? I thought you said there’d be another forty minutes?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I didn’t think it would’ve been possible for them to be winning so intensely.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She put her phone away and pointed down to Fukurōdani, “That’s the team that wants you?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yeah. One of them.” </em>
</p><p><em> They watched the court as a guy with frosted tips bounced the ball in his hands as he waited to serve. The whistle blew and he took a couple steps back before throwing the ball up and slamming it with such a force that Akaashi could’ve sworn </em> his <em> hair blew all the way up in the stands. He could’ve sworn his </em> own <em> palm tingled from the force of the serve. The guy jumped so high. He was so huge. He must’ve been a third year. </em></p><p>
  <em> The ball flew over the net and attempted to break the arms of the poor receiver responsible for trying to dig it up. </em>
</p><p>‘A third service ace in a row for first year Bokuto Kōtarō brings them to game point! Simply incredible!’</p><p><em> Akaashi balked at the announcer. There was </em> no way <em> that guy was a first year. None at all. Bokuto threw his fists up and jumped triumphantly as he yelled and his teammates congratulated the amazing serve. Everything drowned out around Akaashi as he stared at Bokuto. The announcer was absolutely right— Bokuto was simply incredible. He ceased to hear the chatter and excitement around him. Anything that wasn't Bokuto Kōtarō ceased to exist around him at all. </em></p><p>
  <em> Bokuto breathed heavily as he wiped his forehead with the collar of his shirt. He beamed as he caught the ball once again and bounced it in front of him a few times. The whistle blew and he once again delivered a devastating serve, but that time the opposing team got it up. Bokuto cursed as he ran left. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Akaashi’s eyes widened as he watched the opposing team attempt to spike the ball down, but had no such luck as Fukurōdani’s libero got it up. His pass wasn’t perfect. It was long. Disappointment grew in Akaashi as he realized he wasn’t about to see an absolutely perfect set, but that should’ve been expected. His heart raced as he watched the setter get to it, but once again the toss was long. He wasn’t sure how they’d get out of that, but was elated by the knowledge that they were certainly about to try. Bokuto jumped and slammed the ball against the blocker’s hand, seemingly on purpose. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> ‘What?’ Akaashi thought incredulously. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Their libero easily stopped the ball’s impact and sent it perfectly back center. His heart skipped as he saw no one else move on their team. Why weren’t they going? </em>
</p><p><em> Time slowed. Everything moved in milliseconds. The setter held his hands up in anticipation of the ball. Bokuto slowly shifted his feet as he watched the ball with wide eyes. Akaashi wanted to scream. It was too obvious. The other team fully knew the intentions of both the setter and the spiker. Why were they doing that? They were just </em> asking <em> to be stuffed. </em></p><p><em> It was as though he could see into Bokuto’s eyes from where he stood. The intensity behind them blew him away. It was as though he grew wings as his feet divorced the ground, proclaiming he was no earthbound fool. It was just him, the setter and the ball. It was as though the other team weren’t there at all. Despite three large boys directly in front of him, Bokuto slammed the ball forward </em> through <em> them. They were insignificant. They didn’t matter to Bokuto. The ball flew over the barricades on the far end of the opposing team’s court as the score changed. Akaashi leaned over the railing with a slack jaw as he watched Fukurōdani celebrate. He saw them cry as they held each other and screamed their delight. He saw their passion. He saw their genuine love for the game. He saw </em>him. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em> “Bokuto Kōtarō,” he breathed. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He was their ace. Their star. Their hero. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Suddenly, his decision was made for him. He would be attending Fukurōdani Academy come springtime. He didn’t need to go see the other team. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Akaashi watched the scenery roll by as they made their way to Nekoma High School for his first ever high school training camp. He was excited. Bokuto put in a lot of work and passed his exams— even if just barely— so he’d be able to join them. They’d do so well. According to Bokuto, his friend on Nekoma’s team was really great. Apparently their entire team was. He couldn’t wait to play against some powerful opponents. </p><p>They had a couple practice games, but they hardly counted as practice. He glanced over to where Bokuto shouted with Washio. He gestured largely as he spoke, eliciting a lot of laughter from his teammates. Akaashi looked down to where he picked at his cuticles and allowed himself a small smile.</p><p>The past month brought him and Bokuto closer together. They studied together a lot. It was necessary if Bokuto would pass his exams. They were always together at practices. They even began meeting up during lunch to exchange homework and notes even if it ended in Akaashi listening to Bokuto gossip about classmates. It was nearly impossible to be around someone that much and not grow somewhat fond. That being said, he still wouldn’t go as far as to call them friends. </p><p>More importantly, he felt like he was actually beginning to understand the guy. Their practices were becoming much stronger the more he understood that Bokuto wasn’t normal. Of course, he knew he wasn’t normal from the moment he saw him, but it was different when he started understanding the nuances of his quirks.</p><p>His disappointment in who Bokuto really was started going away.</p><p>Seeing Bokuto play in that game last year was something very special for Akaashi. So, imagine his surprise when the big, strong ace was actually a coddled toddler. It felt like the glass shattered, and something like that can’t be put back together again.</p><p>Akaashi glanced back over to the ace as he continued shouting. He felt as though he was sitting in the debris of the glass with superglue, attempting to put it all back together again, despite knowing that simply wasn’t possible. He resorted to looking through the shards, just to get a glimpse at the person he thought he’d be. But the shards only ever displayed a partial, broken image. It was all made harder by Bokuto’s transparent attempts at impressing him. He wasn’t sure why his upperclassman so obviously seeked his approval.</p><p>It probably all lied in the way that Akaashi wouldn’t hand him unjustified praise. There were times he considered doing so just to get him off his back, but he promised himself he would never lie to him. Akaashi didn’t break promises. Not even ones other people didn’t know about.</p><p>“Akaashi!” Bokuto sat heavily beside him. “Are you excited?”</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“Meeting Kuroo!”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“You are?” Bokuto raised his eyebrows so far that his forehead wrinkled.</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>Bokuto narrowed his eyes at him, “You’re never excited for anything and as soon as you are it’s to meet <em> Kuroo? </em>You got it all backwards!”</p><p>“I’m excited about plenty of things,” Akaashi stared at his nails.</p><p>“Kuroo is a bastard! Don’t be excited about meeting him!”</p><p>“I think <em> you’ve </em>got it all backwards,” Akaashi’s eyes landed on him. “I’m excited about beating him in our games.”</p><p>Bokuto blinked at him, “So, you’re <em> not </em>excited about meeting him?”</p><p>“I’m sure he’s a very nice guy.”</p><p>“Yeah, Kuroo’s the best!”</p><p>Akaashi blinked back at him, “Yeah.”</p><p>“Okay, not the <em> best. </em>He’s really good at volleyball, though.”</p><p>“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi was getting confused. Why was Bokuto flip flopping so much? He was known to change up what he said a lot, but that was excessive even for him. “Are you jealous?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Are you jealous of Kuroo-san?”</p><p>“Why would I ever be jealous of him?”</p><p>“I’m not sure. That’s why I’m asking.”</p><p>Bokuto leaned in and Akaashi stayed firm, despite his instincts telling him to lean away. Something told him Bokuto would break down before they even got there if he did.</p><p>“You don’t think I should be jealous, then?”</p><p>“I don’t know him. I don’t know what you should feel.”</p><p>Bokuto studied his face before humming and standing again, “You’ll see. Those cat bastards are good, but they’re incomplete! Now that we have you, they don’t stand a chance!”</p><p>Akaashi watched his back as he walked away. Bokuto really thought they were <em> better </em>since Akaashi joined? He certainly wasn’t skilled enough for such a compliment. He looked back down to his hands. Bokuto was overcompensating once again. Another one of his weaknesses.</p><p>He sighed and looked out at Nekoma High School as they pulled into their parking lot. His nerves built inside of him, but he didn’t allow it to get too out of control. Their team was good, but he wasn’t sure if the upcoming games were the source of his anxiety. He was nervous about meeting that Kuroo guy. Bokuto really built him up. He had to be a monster.</p><p>He was so excited to get some fresh air. The ride wasn’t <em> too </em>long, but it was hard to be in such an enclosed space with Bokuto being so excited, regardless of if he was talking directly to him or not. He stood and grabbed his bag before stepping out into the frigid air. It was so cold for it only being early October. A chill tore through him as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He didn’t look up. Bokuto’s warmth seeped through his jacket.</p><p>“Yes, Bokuto-san?”</p><p>“Are you ready?”</p><p>“Yes,” he looked up at him, but Bokuto was watching the building, “Are you?”</p><p>“Oh, yeah.”</p><p>Bokuto slapped his back before moving forward with the rest of their teammates. Akaashi watched him go. He was simply too large for a high school second year. He couldn’t wait to see him against actual opponents. Hopefully some of that magic he felt when he first saw him would return. He wanted the illusion back.</p><p>He followed along after them until they got to Nekoma’s gym. He clung to the strap of his bag as he examined his surroundings. The gym was large, but not comparable to their own. Their team was a good mix of heights. His eyes landed on a particularly short boy who wore a pinny adorning the letter <em> ‘L’. </em>If their third and second years were right, that was Yaku Morisuke and absolutely someone to look out for.</p><p>His eyes searched for who he thought Kuroo was. Bokuto never gave a direct description of him. All he said was he was <em> ‘stupid big’ </em> and <em> ‘stupid tall’ </em> and <em> ‘stupid good’. </em>He searched Nekoma’s team for someone matching that description. There was no one really immediately fitting. He landed on a tall guy with light brown hair. He was pretty big. That must’ve been him.</p><p>“Hey, hey, hey, little house kitties!” Bokuto greeted them, throwing his arms out.</p><p>Their captain glared at him, “Show some respect to our hosts, please.”</p><p>Bokuto looked apologetic before raising his hands in surrender, “I mean, dangerous apex predators. Mountain cats. Scary.”</p><p>Their captain rolled his eyes and shook hands with Nekoma’s captain, “Thank you for having us.”</p><p>“Thank you for coming a day early. Gives us extra time to beat you out there.”</p><p>“Ah, your imagination is as active as ever.”</p><p>Akaashi’s attention was dragged away from the conversation as a reasonably tall guy approached Bokuto and shoved him by the side of his head.</p><p>“God, Kuroo, you stupid <em> idiot, </em> my <em> hair,” </em>Bokuto steadied himself and fixed his newly mussed hair.</p><p><em> That </em> was Kuroo-san? He wasn’t much taller than Bokuto— less than an inch. And he certainly wasn’t <em> big. </em>He was lankier than Akaashi himself.</p><p>“Oh, your <em> hair,” </em>Kuroo feigned horror. “God knows it can’t get much worse.”</p><p><em> “What?” </em>Bokuto yelled at him.</p><p>“What’s up with that dye job? Talk about <em> tragic!” </em>Kuroo crossed his arms with an evil smirk.</p><p>“At least I do <em> anything </em>to my hair! Ever hear of a comb?” Bokuto got in his face.</p><p>Akaashi sighed and looked back to their opponents. They didn’t <em> seem </em>very special, but then again, neither did he. He pulled on his fingers as he waited for direction from either coach or captain. He gasped as his body was propelled forward by a blunt force from behind then windmilled his arms as he was pulled back by the strap of his bag.</p><p>He struggled to get his footing as he was quite literally pulled into Bokuto’s squabble with Kuroo. The ace held onto Akaashi’s strap as he angrily pointed down to him.</p><p>“You have <em> no idea </em> what we’re capable of! If we were good <em> before, </em> then now we’re like <em> Gods!” </em></p><p>Kuroo looked between them before leaning down to close the two inches of height difference between himself and Akaashi before studying his face.</p><p>“He’s only a first year. Sounds like you’re exaggerating again, airhead.”</p><p>Akaashi slightly narrowed his eyes at him, but said nothing. He was fine with Kuroo underestimating them.</p><p>“Sounds like you’re being a <em> stupid, dumb, dummy </em> again, <em> Kuroo,” </em>Bokuto said, shaking Akaashi by the strap of his bag. “We’ll show you! You’ll see!”</p><p>Kuroo hummed and looked back at Akaashi as he ripped free from Bokuto’s grasp. He wanted to recoil from his intensely dark eyes, but held firm under his judgemental gaze. Kuroo stood back up but didn’t break their eye contact.</p><p>“So, <em> you’re </em>Akaashi Keiji. Welcome!” Kuroo held his hands up, gesturing vaguely to their school. Akaashi had the feeling he was welcoming him into their strange, demented volleyball world, though, and not so much the school itself.</p><p>“Thank you,” Akaashi said.</p><p>“Alright, boys,” Nekoma’s coach clapped. “Let’s warm up!”</p><p>Akaashi tore his eyes away from Kuroo’s and began walking away. He heard Kuroo mutter something from behind him. He couldn’t make it out, but it sounded mocking. His suspicions were confirmed when Bokuto yelled at him in a hushed voice. He glanced back when he realized Bokuto was still not following.</p><p>“Bokuto-san?”</p><p>The ace snapped his head over, “Yeah?”</p><p>“We need to change now.”</p><p>Bokuto nodded and jogged over to him, falling in stride beside him. Akaashi’s eyes remained on Kuroo for a beat too long. The Nekoma player stared on in shock. Why? His eyes skated over Bokuto’s face as he redirected his own gaze forward again. He seemed so <em> serious. </em>Was their rivalry that deep?</p><p>“Bokuto-san?” Akaashi asked as he removed his jacket. </p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“I thought you and Kuroo-san were friends.”</p><p>Bokuto ripped his pants off and quickly replaced them with his shorts, jumping dramatically as he pulled them up, “We are!”</p><p>Akaashi changed slowly, “Then why were you two fighting so much?”</p><p>“It’s like you’ve never been competitive before,” Bokuto said, pulling a pinny over his shirt. “And I <em> know </em> for a <em> fact </em> that you are.”</p><p>Akaashi hummed, “Usually my rivalries are a bit more respectful.”</p><p>Bokuto looked him up and down and despite all the clothes Akaashi wore, he suddenly felt naked. It seemed as though Bokuto’s eyes scanned right through him to the very core of his being. It was entirely unsettling.</p><p>“Don’t take this the wrong way, but have you ever had <em> friends?” </em></p><p>Akaashi took a step back, “Excuse me?”</p><p>“In volleyball, I mean.”</p><p>“Of course I have.”</p><p>“Then you should understand that friendly competition is only healthy!” Bokuto smiled.</p><p>“Yeah, but—“</p><p>“Kuroo’s good at being talked down to,” Bokuto said, pulling his knee pads on. “It makes it more fun. That’s all.”</p><p>Akaashi sat down and pulled his shoes on before beginning to tie them, “Oh.”</p><p>“I don’t think you’ve really had friends in volleyball before. Not the right kind.”</p><p>Akaashi went to glare at him from his peripheral but the action was stopped when he saw Bokuto was leaning down beside him already. He turned away and doubled down on his laces. His eyes were so sharp. How was that possible? His brain was so stupid.</p><p>“No one I’ve met before has cared about the game.”</p><p>“That’s okay,” Bokuto sat back. “These people live and breathe volleyball!”</p><p>The ace jumped up and put his fists on his hips as he faced away from Akaashi.</p><p>“Yeep,” he beamed. “So much more satisfying when we <em> crush </em>them.”</p><p>Akaashi dropped his laces as he looked up at him. He felt that tightening in his chest that he did the year previous when he first saw Bokuto play. His pure passion and love for the game was what separated him from the rest. He wasn’t sure how talented he even was. God knew he put the hours in. His skill could’ve been almost entirely built.</p><p>But for a moment, it seemed as though Akaashi actually managed to get a few pieces of that glass back together seamlessly.</p><p>“Anyways,” Bokuto lifted a hand to him, “See ya out there!”</p><p>“Wait,” Akaashi said and Bokuto turned with a raised eyebrow. “What about your shoes?”</p><p>Bokuto looked down to his socks and cried out, “Aw, man!”</p><p>He moped back and slumped beside Akaashi as he pulled his own shoes on just as the latter finished tying his. He stood and hovered, waiting for the ace.</p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“Are you <em> waiting </em>for me, Akaashi-san?”</p><p>“I <em> was,” </em>Akaashi said as he turned and began walking. “Hurry up.”</p><p>Bokuto laughed heartily behind him and Akaashi couldn’t stop the small smile that crossed his face if he tried. He liked Happy Bokuto, though he’d never admit it out loud. That was when he was at his best. The most akin to the image of himself that Akaashi built up in his head.</p><p>“Akaashi-san!” Bokuto shouted as he ran by him. “Hurry up! You don’t want to get left behind, now, do you?”</p><p>Akaashi watched him go with a flat expression. He knew it wasn’t what he meant, but Akaashi knew, inevitably, that he would be. One way or another, some day, Bokuto would surely surpass him entirely. There was no way a guy like that wouldn’t break out of his little bubble and raise to great heights. So, he watched Bokuto’s back as he ran forward.</p><p>He watched him bounce enthusiastically to the next challenge as he stayed behind at his own pace. He felt a small pit in his stomach as the ace’s broad shoulders shook in laughter as he caught up with Kuroo.</p><p>Was that all it would ever be? Akaashi watching Bokuto’s back as he charged forward? Falling further and further behind? Thinking about the day that Bokuto was so far ahead that he was no longer visible… upset him.</p><p>Upset him?</p><p>He stretched his fingers out behind himself as he recognized a strange, heavy feeling in his chest. The pit in his stomach only grew as he watched him start his warmup. He stretched alongside him before setting a few balls for practice before their game. He gave it his all, setting at just the right height and angle for his ace. Bokuto slammed the ball past another second year and cheered enthusiastically.</p><p>“Did you <em> freakin’ see that, </em>Akaashi?”</p><p>Akaashi stared into his large smile, feeling strangely empty.</p><p>“Yes, I saw you, Bokuto-san. It was very good.”</p><p>So it was good.</p><p>“God, I’m so great!”</p><p>And so he was great. </p><p>Akaashi watched him as he walked back and high fived another teammate. He furrowed his brow as he felt only a small amount of pride for the spike. It wasn’t really him that got that point. No, it was Bokuto.</p><p>Did it upset him?</p><p>Bokuto turned on him and pointed a finger out, meeting his eye severely— his tenacity physically blowing Akaashi back with its force, “Give me another!”</p><p>Oh. So, it did.</p><p>Then what? When would Bokuto be too far ahead? What about that day when Akaashi could no longer see him on the horizon? Well…</p><p>He nodded and picked up a new ball before meeting Bokuto’s gaze with a determined glare of his own.</p><p>If he didn’t want Bokuto to get too far ahead then he simply had no choice but to just keep up.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>They stood across from Nekoma and bowed, “Thank you for the game.”</p><p>“Thank you for the game!”</p><p>Akaashi moved back on the court. He was first to serve, because of course he was. He took a deep breath and threw the ball up, running to meet it. He accidentally caught Kuroo’s eye right as his hand slammed into the ball, messing up his serve. The ball barely made it over the net. It worked out for them, though, as it fell just on the other side of the net without Nekoma getting to it soon enough.</p><p>Akaashi had never got a service ace before. Even if it was an accident, he was thrilled. Bokuto yelled and ran to him for a high five. Akaashi held his hand up and the ace slapped it as if it were a ball that had murdered his entire family. The setter shook his hand out and gripped it tightly to his body.</p><p>“Bokuto-san, that hurt.”</p><p>“Not as much as we’re about to hurt <em> Kuroo’s </em> ego!” Bokuto raised his fists triumphantly, <em> “Woo!” </em></p><p>Akaashi moved back to his spot. His hand was entirely numb. He pitied the balls Bokuto spiked. Even if they weren’t living, they probably still felt the pain. He opted to just do a standing serve to play it safe.</p><p>Yaku Morisuke got under it and sent it up front for their setter. Their spiker got the toss and hit it over, but Washio got a one touch. Kuroo smirked, knowing there was no way they could turn that into a point. Akaashi frowned and watched the ball closely as he ran after it. He got under it and raised his hands, anticipating the ball landing in them.</p><p>
  <em> “Bokuto-san!” </em>
</p><p>Bokuto did a double take before smiling wickedly. He watched the toss, running to the net the instant the ball touched Akaashi’s fingers. He jumped and slammed the ball down before he could even really feel it in his palm. Everyone on the court stared at the ball as it rolled away.</p><p>Akaashi readily met Kuroo’s eyes as they found him. He kept a straight face even through Kuroo’s smirk.</p><p>“Well, then. Look at <em> you, </em>little first year.”</p><p>Bokuto stumbled back onto his feet and stormed the net, wrapping his fingers into the mesh. He glared at Kuroo, attempting to get him to meet his eye.</p><p>“Kuroo! <em> Kuroo! Hey! Kuuurooo!!” </em> He snapped at him while Kuroo continued pointedly ignoring him. <em> “I TOLD you so!!” </em></p><p>“Alright, move on,” their captain yelled. “Good work, guys.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Akaashi bowed to him.</p><p>“I know, right?” Bokuto turned to beam at him before presenting Akaashi with jazz hands, <em> “Godlike, </em>I'm telling ya!”</p><p> </p><p>Akaashi held his hands on his knees as he attempted to catch his breath. Nekoma was <em> crazy. </em>It felt like the ball almost never fell. It seemed as though they only needed to see any one move just once before knowing how to handle it the next time. It was a miracle that Fukurōdani was at set point. Or maybe not. It was certainly earned. Perhaps it was something else that was the miracle.</p><p>He watched Bokuto out of his peripheral as he geared up to serve. He was amazing. Simply something else entirely from so close up. He was giving it his all and didn’t even seem tired. Akaashi stood straight again as the whistle blew. He put his hands behind his head instinctively as he heard Bokuto throw the ball up.</p><p>
  <em> Thwack. </em>
</p><p>“Got it,” Kuroo drawled as he positioned himself under the ball’s trajectory, easily getting it back up, as if Bokuto’s serve was not entirely devastating to the regular human.</p><p>Kuroo-san clearly was every bit as good as Bokuto had let on.</p><p>Their setter once again tossed to their ace and sent it back over. Sarukui got it just in the nick of time, but sent it long, forcing Bokuto to run off the court and do all he could to get it back in.</p><p>“Cover!”</p><p>“Got it,” Akaashi yelled.</p><p>Bokuto frowned as his hands hit the ball and turned quickly to watch what the hell Akaashi thought he was doing. The setter watched the ball as he ran up, observing his surroundings and calculating his risks. Nekoma was all over him, namely Kuroo. He frowned deeply as he jumped and slammed the ball directly into Kuroo’s hand.</p><p>“Cover!”</p><p>Konoha ran behind him and sent the ball right back to him.</p><p>“Bokuto-san!” Akaashi yelled, sending it over to his ace.</p><p>Bokuto scrambled to get back onto the court. He was too late to spike unmarked, but he wound up and put his full force into the spike, sending it through Kuroo and Fukunaga’s hands and into the floor. Kuroo landed and watched the ball, humming disapprovingly.</p><p>“Yeah!” Akaashi shouted, throwing his hands up.</p><p>Bokuto landed on all fours and quickly snapped his head over to Akaashi. He gaped at his setter before scrambling to get back up.</p><p>Akaashi celebrated loudly with his teammates, feeling absolutely elated before he was propelled forward into Konoha. The hitter steadied Akaashi as Bokuto crushed him in from behind.</p><p><em> “What the hell?” </em>Akaashi muttered into Konoha’s chest, unable to move.</p><p>If the hitter moved, Akaashi would fall, but as was, he was doomed to die a terrible death pressed between two sweaty teenage boys. It wasn’t ideal.</p><p><em> “Akaashi!” </em> Bokuto cried. <em> “You’re smiling! You were incredible!” </em></p><p>Akaashi attempted pushing back against him but Konoha couldn’t handle all the weight, being two inches shorter than Akaashi who was an inch shorter than Bokuto.</p><p>“Bokuto-san, you’re crushing me,” Akaashi wheezed.</p><p>Bokuto pulled away and Akaashi took a deep breath. His relief was short-lived when Bokuto heaved him up from around the waist and spun him around. Akaashi pushed at his arms and struggled against him to no avail. He sighed and resigned to his fate of being a rag doll for who knows how long. Bokuto continued cooing the entire time.</p><p>
  <em> “Akaaaaaashi! You need to smile more, man! That was magical! Absolutely incredible!” </em>
</p><p>“Can you please put me down? I don’t like this.”</p><p>Bokuto tensed up and froze before placing him down and scuttling awkward around to face him. He leaned down and cocked his head as he took in his neutral expression.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Are you mad?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>Akaashi refused to meet his eye while he walked away. Bokuto moped after him, muttering under his breath.</p><p>“—Akaashi.”</p><p>“Yes?” Akaashi looked down at him, keeping his irritation under the surface.</p><p>Bokuto slumped further, “I ruined it.”</p><p>“Ruined what, Bokuto-san?”</p><p>“You were—“</p><p>“Hey, stupid!” Kuroo shouted and they turned to look at him. “Aren’t you going to stay and practice?”</p><p>Bokuto glanced between Kuroo and Akaashi with the latter furrowing his brow at him. Was he asking for <em> permission? </em> What was his <em> issue? </em></p><p>“Yes?” Bokuto called weakly, still looking at Akaashi.</p><p>He tore his eyes away from the golden saucers staring at him and continued walking away, wondering why his upperclassman wanted his validation so desperately. It was weird, bordering creepy.</p><p>“Hey, you! First year!” Kuroo called with his hands cupped around his mouth.</p><p>Akaashi turned and gestured to his chest inquisitively.</p><p>“Yeah, you! Why don’t you stay, too?”</p><p>“Me?”</p><p>“Yeah! Why not? What else do you have to do?”</p><p>Akaashi heard Bokuto’s voice inside of his head as he watched him mope over to Kuroo, <em> ‘You don’t want to get left behind, now, do you?’ </em></p><p>“Okay, sure,” he said.</p><p>“Wait, really?” Bokuto perked up.</p><p>“Yeah, why not?” Akaashi parroted.</p><p>“That’s the spirit!” Kuroo clapped him on the back, eliciting the smallest of smiles from the setter.</p><p>Bokuto’s stomach lurched forward as he beamed and went to yell again, but quickly slapped his hand over his mouth and turned away.</p><p>“You okay, dummy?” Kuroo asked.</p><p>“Mhmm,” Bokuto hummed, pressing his lips together so hard they trembled against his deep desire to just smile and tell Akaashi how perfect <em> his </em> smile was.</p><p> </p><p>Bokuto and Kuroo stared at Akaashi with wide eyes as he wheezed with his hands against his knees. Sweat dripped down his chin as he glared at the ground. He pulled his shirt up and wiped at his face, grimacing at how the fabric saturated and darkened.</p><p>“You okay, kid?” Kuroo frowned.</p><p>“Yeah,” Akaashi panted. “Just… give me a minute.”</p><p>“Do you guys just not practice?” Kuroo asked.</p><p>“We practice all the time!” Bokuto laughed. “Apparently just not hard enough!”</p><p>“I’ve stayed…” Akaashi gave up and sat on the floor. “I’ve stayed late… every day… for months. What do you <em> mean </em>when you say… not hard enough?”</p><p>Bokuto howled with deep laughter, “Maybe you need to practice things other than setting more often, is all.”</p><p>Akaashi stared up at him, “Why? Am I not good at my other skills?”</p><p>Bokuto jumped up and waved his arms around, “What? No! You’re great! It’s just… You know! You’re dying right now!”</p><p>Akaashi furrowed his brow before shaking his head at his exaggeration, “Okay?”</p><p>“Nah, listen, kid,” Kuroo offered a hand down to him.</p><p>“I’m only a year younger than you,” Akaashi said, but allowed himself to be pulled up anyway.</p><p>“Okay, well, why don’t you let your upperclassman show you how blocking is <em> really </em>done?”</p><p>“You’d really do that?”</p><p>“Eh, sure,” Kuroo shrugged before smirking devilishly. “You have to call me senpai, though. You know, in the spirit of classmanship.”</p><p>Akaashi stared at him for a moment, “You know, I’m actually pretty hungry.”</p><p>“Aw, c’mon!” Kuroo snickered. “Don’t be like that!”</p><p>Akaashi waved a hand dismissively at him as he turned to finally go change. The way they were going, they wouldn’t get dinner at all. All the other boys were long, <em> long </em>gone. Kuroo crossed his arms as he bored a hole into the back of his head and Bokuto stared between them.</p><p>“Say, did you do that on purpose earlier?”</p><p>“Do what on purpose?” Akaashi glanced over his shoulder.</p><p>“Rebound the ball.”</p><p>Akaashi finally stopped walking and turned back to actually face him. They stared at each other for an excruciating moment.</p><p>“At first I thought you were just an unfortunately poor spiker,” Kuroo drawled, closing his eyes and fanning his hand. “But then it occurred to me that you might actually just be a bit smarter than that.”</p><p>“I’m not stupid,” Akaashi said flatly.</p><p>“Never said you were.”</p><p>“You certainly implied it.”</p><p>“Nothin’ gets by you, huh?” Kuroo smiled.</p><p>“Did you have a point, Kuroo senpai?” The honorific killed him a bit inside, but he did it only to not be entirely disrespectful.</p><p>“What?” Bokuto snapped before aggressively pointing at Kuroo. “How come <em> he </em> gets to be senpai? I’m not even <em> ‘kun’!” </em></p><p>“Sometimes you don’t even refer to me as <em> ‘san’. </em>Please, let’s not get bogged down in technicalities,” Akaashi said.</p><p>“I don’t <em> need </em> to call you <em> ‘san’!” </em> Bokuto balked. “We’re <em> friends.” </em></p><p>“Okay,” Akaashi said with no discernible facial expression.</p><p>“Anyways,” Kuroo said. “Akaashi kōhai, I was very impressed by that play earlier. Where’d you learn that?”</p><p>Akaashi resisted the urge to look at Bokuto, “It’s a fairly common move.”</p><p>“Not so much in high school,” Kuroo said.</p><p>“Okay? Other leagues exist.”</p><p>Kuroo pursed his lips at him before popping them, “Okay. Let’s go eat.”</p><p>Akaashi turned back and moved to go change when he heard Kuroo mutter once again about him. He slowed his pace and strained to hear him.</p><p>“—so defensive. What’s the big deal?”</p><p>Bokuto said nothing as Kuroo began humming as they strolled along together. He glared forward and doubled down on his pace. He wasn’t sure why, but Kuroo pissed him off. He was so self righteous. He thought he was better than everyone simply for being a year older. He was <em> good, </em> but not <em> that </em>good. Was that the price he had to pay to be around passionate players? </p><p>He held his clothes in his hands and considered if it was even worth changing if he was just going to go to the bath after eating. His skin was already so hot from the intense practice. He figured he’d be able to make it from the gym to the rest of the school without freezing. Mostly, he just wanted to get away from the Idiot Duo as soon as possible.</p><p>He sat heavily, ignoring the strain in his muscles and threw his shoes off. He was nearly done tying his regular sneakers by the time Kuroo and Bokuto joined him in the change room.</p><p>“Hey, aren’t you going to put your pants on?” Bokuto asked.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Why? You should.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“It’s freezing out there.”</p><p>“I’ll live.”</p><p>Bokuto frowned at him, but didn’t push it. Akaashi stood and threw his jacket on, not waiting to zip it up, grabbed his bag and was off. He wasn’t sure why he was so angry. Maybe it was the idea that Bokuto could be friends with someone so clearly terrible. Maybe it was just because he felt inadequate.</p><p>He jogged to the school, the wind whipping his bared skin. He certainly underestimated both the distance of the school and the intensity of the frigid night. By the time he got inside again his skin was numb. What a stupid decision. The warmth surrounded him tightly inside the school. Then, he realized he didn’t know where to go.</p><p>He wandered around for about fifteen minutes before his phone vibrated in his bag. He quickly opened it up, snatched his phone out and looked at the caller ID.</p><p>
  <em> ‘Bokuto-san’ </em>
</p><p>He sighed and reluctantly answered it, “Yeah?”</p><p>“Where are you, dude?”</p><p>“I may be… lost.”</p><p>“You went into the school, didn’t you?”</p><p>“I might’ve.”</p><p>“Okay, well, just come to the pl—“</p><p>Akaashi furrowed his brow and held the phone away from his face. It died. <em> It died? </em>He searched through his bag for his charger, but couldn’t find it. He looked again. Then twice more.</p><p>“Oh, my god,” he breathed. “Of course.”</p><p>What was he supposed to do? He could keep wandering around and maybe never figure out where he was meant to go, or he could just wait and hope someone found him. One way he’d feel like he was taking action, but the other way… he knew would work. When it came down to it, Bokuto was reliable. He was unstable and extremely volatile, but reliable at the very most baseline level. He’d find him. He took the opportunity to put his pants on and sat against the wall across from the entrance he used when coming in from the gym, feeling <em> stupid. </em></p><p>He crossed his legs and tapped his fingers against the soles of his shoes as he waited, and sure enough Bokuto appeared eventually, holding two packages in his hands.</p><p>“Akaashi-san,” he sang.</p><p>“Bokuto-san, I’m sorry,” Akaashi said as he stood.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it,” Bokuto shrugged then thrust a package into his hands.</p><p>Akaashi stared down at it inquisitively before unwrapping it and seeing it was his dinner.</p><p>“It isn’t ideal, but you wouldn’t have eaten otherwise.”</p><p>“Oh, wow. Thank you.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it.”</p><p>They stared down at their shoes for a moment before silently settling back on the floor. Bokuto produced two pairs of chopsticks from his pocket and handed one to Akaashi.</p><p>“Thanks,” he said softly, not meeting his eye.</p><p>“Don’t make me say it again,” Bokuto chuckled.</p><p>Bokuto faltered as he went to eat, noticing the slight color in Akaashi’s cheeks. He was probably very embarrassed. He shouldn’t have been. Bokuto wished he knew how perfect he thought he was.</p><p>They ate silently until half of their food was gone. Bokuto tried his best to eat like a civilized human being despite the raging hunger he felt. He always wanted to just sit down and eat with Akaashi without the <em> disgusting, appetite crushing </em> action of <em> studying.  </em></p><p>Despite all the things he <em> really </em>liked about Akaashi Keiji, including his diligent and focused personality, he also thought those two things were a major downfall in the ways of personal connection. Mostly because despite his best efforts to distract the setter from studying and to push their conversation to a more personal subject, he was always shut down. He was really starting to get the idea that Akaashi really didn’t like him.</p><p>The timing was perfect, though. There was nothing additional happening. He could finally ask whatever he wanted to and maybe, <em> just maybe, </em>Akaashi wouldn’t have an excuse to push the conversation away.</p><p>“So, um, Akaashi-san. You learned to rebound that way from watching professional games?”</p><p>“Uh,” Akaashi met his eye and placed his chopsticks down. “Not exactly.”</p><p>“Where did you learn it, then?”</p><p>Akaashi studied his face and Bokuto shifted underneath the gaze. His heart raced as the light brightened his setter’s blue eyes. God, that color didn’t exist anywhere else in the world, and no one could convince him otherwise. The setter seemed to be considering options. It was a look Bokuto came to know rather well, and it never got old.</p><p>“You.”</p><p>“Me what?”</p><p>“I learned it from watching you.”</p><p>Bokuto beamed before frowning, “That isn’t possible. Why are you trying to flatter me, Akaashi-san?”</p><p>“What do you mean it isn’t possible?” Akaashi pushed his rice around in the container.</p><p>“I haven’t done that since I’ve known you. It’s really a last ditch effort.”</p><p>“I saw you at Nationals last year.”</p><p>
  <em> “You did?” </em>
</p><p>Akaashi recoiled as Bokuto slammed his hands on the floor and leaned into his space.</p><p>“Um, yeah.”</p><p><em> “No way! </em>Weren’t we amazing?”</p><p>Akaashi nodded, “Your team was really something else entirely.”</p><p>“What were you doing at Nationals? Were you trying to figure out if our entrance exam was worth studying for?” Bokuto’s heart sung at the <em> personal </em>conversation.</p><p>Akaashi met his eye only for a fraction of a second, “I didn’t take the entrance exam.”</p><p>“Wait, wait, you mean they <em> asked </em>you to come?”</p><p>Akaashi frowned at his rice, “You don’t need to sound so surprised.”</p><p>“No, it’s just that Fukurōdani doesn’t <em> need </em>to recommend people. Other than me, I didn’t know anyone that didn’t get in by exams.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>Bokuto dissolved under the open expression on the setters face. He leaned back on his hands and stretched his back out in an attempt to distract himself. </p><p>“Yeah. That’s really cool. So, you just wanted to see what you were getting into, then? How impressed were you?”</p><p>“Not exactly. I went to decide which school I wanted to accept.”</p><p>
  <em> “Two schools?” </em>
</p><p>“Mhm.”</p><p>“What was the other one?”</p><p>“It doesn’t matter…”</p><p>Bokuto leaned on his knees and glared, “Spill.”</p><p>Akaashi sighed before muttering, “Suzumeoka.”</p><p>
  <em> “Suzumeoka?” </em>
</p><p>Akaashi merely picked up his food and continued eating while Bokuto balked at him.</p><p>“Dude,” the ace scoffed. “That’s like, the <em> second best </em> school in <em> Japan. </em>Why— Why would you go here?”</p><p>“There’s a few reasons.”</p><p>“Tell me!”</p><p>“I don’t want to talk about it.”</p><p>Bokuto frowned before picking up his own food again. He didn’t want to make Akaashi uncomfortable, but wanted to know why the <em> hell </em> he would turn down that offer. He wasn’t <em> stupid, </em>he must’ve had a good reason. He stayed quiet until they finished their food and insisted on carrying the empty containers back.</p><p>They walked through the frozen night together with Akaashi staring ever forward and Bokuto looking anywhere but at him. The spiker bit down the urge to throw the containers as far away from himself as possible and claim Akaashi’s hand in his own.</p><p>“I noticed your pants have made a rather important appearance.”</p><p>Akaashi glanced down then met his eye, “You were right.”</p><p>Bokuto faltered and fell behind Akaashi at the words. He watched setter’s back as he continued walking hurriedly to the cabin behind the school. He shook his head and willed his heart rate to decrease. Regardless of how hard he exercised, his heart never beat as hard as it did when Akaashi Keiji did <em> anything. </em>Being on the same team as him really was a double whammy. Knowing that the guy watched him before he even knew him? Brought tears to his eyes. Simply incomprehensible. He willed himself to remember every face in the crowd in an attempt to see Akaashi’s reaction to him playing. If he could bring one memory back as a physical object, it would be that. </p><p>“Are you coming?”</p><p>His eyes refocused on the present and noticed his setter was waiting for him. He hugged his jacket tightly around himself and shivered against the cold. Heat crashed over Bokuto like a tsunami. He would keep him warm if he would only allow him to. Since that wasn’t an option, he settled for the next best thing. He raised his finger and pointed right at him.</p><p>
  <em> “Akaashi! Go inside! You’ll die if you stay out here!” </em>
</p><p>“What? Just hurry up.”</p><p>Bokuto scowled and shuffled both containers into one hand and broke into a sprint, wanting Akaashi to be warm again. He took hold of the setter by the jacket as he passed by and dragged him right inside. Once they were in the warmth of the cabin, Bokuto poked him in the chest.</p><p><em> “You </em>need to take better care of yourself!”</p><p>Akaashi stared up into his glare, dumbfounded, <em> “Me?” </em></p><p>“You!”</p><p>Bokuto crossed his arms and leaned forward to glare at Akaashi, who simply stared at him blankly.</p><p>“Thank you for your concern, Bokuto senpai.”</p><p>The ace watched the setter go with a slack jaw. He stayed there for a long, long time after Akaashi was gone, his face only growing redder and redder.</p><p>
  <em> “Hey, hey, HEY!” </em>
</p><p>He threw his fists out, beaming, feeling much like he just got seven service aces in a row. He abandoned the containers on the floor as he danced in a circle, hearing the honorific run through his head over and over again.</p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p>The spiker slowly brought his fists back close to his body and turned to peek at Kuroo who watched him with crossed arms and a smirk.</p><p>“Uh, nothing?”</p><p>“It doesn’t <em> look </em>like nothing.”</p><p>“You wouldn’t understand.”</p><p>“Oh, I wouldn’t,” Kuroo asked sarcastically. “The bath is open to the second years now. Let’s go, stinky.”</p><p>“I’m <em> not </em> stinky,” Bokuto bent to get containers then glared at Kuroo as he walked by, <em> “You’re </em>stinky.”</p><p>“We’re both stinky.”</p><p>
  <em> “I'm not stinky!” </em>
</p><p>They bickered on their way to Fukurōdani’s room where Bokuto snatched up some fresh clothes then made their way to the bath. They never stopped arguing as they washed up then stepped into the actual bath. Bokuto noticed that all the other boys in the bath were from Nekoma.</p><p>“Yaku, dude,” Bokuto lifted a fist to him.</p><p>“What’s up, Bokuto?”</p><p>“Nothin’,” Bokuto sat back into the water until his chin touched the surface of it.</p><p>They all just soaked in comfortable silence when Fukurōdani’s second years waltzed in, yelling and shouting.</p><p>“Hey!” Kuroo yelled. “It’s quiet time. Shut up.”</p><p>“Wow,” Konoha drawled. “Coming from you.”</p><p>They all sunk into the water after washing up and relaxed their muscles.</p><p>“So, let’s talk about that defiant first year,” Kuroo said.</p><p>“I thought it was quiet time?” Washio teased.</p><p>“Ah, shut it,” Kuroo flipped his hand at him.</p><p>“What defiant first year?” Bokuto asked.</p><p>“Akaashi Keiji.”</p><p>“He isn’t defiant,” Konoha shook his head. “What are you talking about?”</p><p>“He has no respect for his upperclassmen!” Kuroo exclaimed, sitting forward.</p><p><em> “He does so,” </em>Bokuto glared at him. “Shut up, kitty.”</p><p>“Aren’t you the one who said he has no respect like, a month ago?” Komi asked.</p><p>“Of course I didn’t!”</p><p>“No, you definitely did,” Sarukui said. “I was there.”</p><p>“Why are you all so mean?”</p><p>“Why are you defending him so harshly?” Kuroo asked. “I wasn’t even mean. Just accurate.”</p><p>“He’s my setter!” Bokuto sat up. “I <em> have </em> to defend him. Without him then there’s no <em> me </em> and where would we be without the <em> me?” </em></p><p>“Classy,” Yaku muttered.</p><p>“What?” Bokuto leaned over to him.</p><p>“You’re a team.”</p><p>“I <em> know </em>that. That’s why I’m defending Akaashi.”</p><p>“No, you’re defending Akaashi for your own cause,” Yaku corrected.</p><p>“For once, I agree with Yaku,” Kuroo said.</p><p><em> “No!” </em> Bokuto shouted. “He’s a great setter with or without me! He got a <em> recommendation </em>from our school! He wasn’t even going to come here!”</p><p>“He did?”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Bokuto stared into his teammates' shocked expressions before slapping himself on the forehead, <em> “Dammit! </em>I wasn’t supposed to say anything!”</p><p>“That’s surprising,” Kuroo said as he slunk back into the water. “Even Kenma seems to be a better setter than him. He isn’t particularly technically skilled.”</p><p>“It isn’t surprising at all,” Bokuto glared harder at him. “He’s very skilled.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Their team sat around a television in a semicircle on their first day back to school in their second year. Their coach was showing them their new first years’ games on DVD. Fukurōdani only accepted people onto the team that made it to Nationals the year previous. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Okay, so that was Noboru Kuse. Next is who I believe will be our new official setter,” their coach said, glancing at Enatsu, their current official setter. “Akaashi Keiji from Mori Junior High.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’ve never heard of that school,” Konoha said as the coach paused the video. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “They only made it to Nationals for the first time last year. They’ve never expressed a very passionate love for volleyball before then.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What happened?” Bokuto asked. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Akaashi Keiji did,” the coach said. “Apparently he transferred over from a school in the Toyosu region.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What? No way,” Komi balked. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yes, well, he made the team in his last year, and though he wasn’t made captain, it’s clear that he was their backbone. Watch.” </em>
</p><p><em> Bokuto watched intently as his coach played the video, eager to see who the coach thought would be so great that he’d be replacing a </em> third year <em> setter. The guy was tall for his age. Very tall. Nearly towering over his other teammates. </em></p><p><em> Bokuto’s eyes drank him up as he lost point after point to the other team. There had to be something to his game that the coach liked, but Bokuto couldn’t see it. There was no way that team even won a single game, but they </em> had <em> made it to Nationals. That said something in and of itself. </em></p><p><em> Bokuto watched with a blank expression. He wasn’t overly thrilled about the idea of the setter he was used to sitting out for an honestly rather average player. He </em> certainly <em> wasn’t thrilled about the idea of never winning a game again. What was their coach thinking? Bokuto certainly wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, and he’d never claim otherwise, but he </em> knew <em> volleyball. And he </em> knew <em> Akaashi Keiji wouldn’t be much more than a hindrance to them. How’d he even make the team? He must’ve been smart as hell to get into the school, but even then, it was hard to get on the team anyways. He couldn’t foresee a situation that called for Akaashi to be on their team, and certainly not to replace Enatsu. </em></p><p>
  <em> He leaned in as the camera focused on the two setters as they glared at each other through the net, and what Bokuto saw changed his mind immediately and completely. The burning competition and passion behind his dark eyes burned pinholes through Bokuto’s composure and left him short of breath. He stared with wide eyes as Akaashi moved to the back of the court and spun the ball in his hands before bouncing it once. He learned forward evermore and held his breath as he waited along with Akaashi for the whistle to sound. And when it did… </em>
</p><p><em> Bokuto leaned on his hands as he hungrily watched Akaashi deliver the most </em> perfect <em> jump serve. It was beautiful. It was the type of serve someone put a lot of time and love into. The type of serve that warned the enemy that they were against someone they needed to look out for. The type of serve that made Bokuto’s heart falter then cease beating. He wanted to see it again. In person. Forever. </em></p><p>
  <em> Despite the skill of his serve, the much more experienced opposing team got it up, even if they did struggle. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Chance ball!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Bokuto’s hands shook as he clenched them into fists, still leaning closer to the screen. Akaashi ran to the net, getting under the pass and made eye contact with the opposite hitter. Bokuto bit his lip as he saw himself as that hitter, not some weirdo with pink curly hair. His heart raced and his palm itched. He wanted that toss. It would be the perfect toss, he already knew. He had his doubts, though. If it were him, the three blockers that were on poor pink hair wouldn’t have mattered— but as it was, well… They did. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Akaashi took a small step forward as he stared at his ace, confirming the blockers suspicions. They committed and jumped just as their ace did. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What are you doing? It’s so obvious!” Bokuto cried, ignoring the looks he got from his teammates. </em>
</p><p><em> Akaashi smirked as the ball landed in his fingers and he sent it backwards instead, to the right side hitter. The spiker slammed it down over the net, unmarked, in the blink of an eye. Bokuto’s jaw fell open and he just </em> stared. <em> That guy was in middle school? Well, obviously not anymore, but he </em> was <em> when he did that. He totally tricked them. </em></p><p><em> Akaashi celebrated with his team, his face splitting into a shit eating grin and Bokuto’s heart was already gone, so it did all it could do and dissolved into stardust— gone in the wind. He was… perfect. And he’d be </em> his <em> setter. They’d be a duo. It would be so incredible… all the things they would do together. </em></p><p> </p><p>So, imagine his surprise when Akaashi Keiji was actually a smart ass with a sharp tongue and a quick wit—and, admittedly, a bit of an attitude problem. Imagine his anguish when the setter was incredibly smart with great grades. Imagine his absolute torment when his crush seemingly wanted nothing to do with him. It was as though Akaashi kept himself in a glass case, and Bokuto stood there with a battering ram, attempting anything he could to shatter the illusion and get an actual look inside. The more he tapped the glass though, the thicker it seemed to get. Akaashi became harder and harder to see.</p><p>It was as though the glass became several feet thick, and Bokuto sat on the other side, one hand against the foggy glass, willing it to shatter around him. He wanted to walk through the shards, leaving them behind, hand in hand with Akaashi Keiji.</p><p>Bokuto sighed as he stood up. He had enough of the douchebag soup he was soaking in. He didn’t want to hear people insulting Akaashi, but there was only a limit to how much he could defend him without giving himself away. He wasn’t sure if anyone had even answered him, but he honestly didn’t care. He didn’t want to hear whatever negative thing Kuroo had to say. Usually, he loved Kuroo and all the stupid little words that left his dumb fuck of a mouth, but not when it was about Akaashi. No, Akaashi deserved all the respect the world had to offer.</p><p>He dried off quickly, ignoring Kuroo’s cat calls and moved to get dressed again. He was struggling to get his pants on because he rushed drying off and his skin was still sticky when Kuroo materialized beside him again.</p><p>“Hey,” Kuroo said as he dried himself off. </p><p>“What?” Bokuto snapped.</p><p>“Why are you so defensive over that first year? It’s nothing personal. Most first years aren’t good.”</p><p>“He <em> is </em>good, though, Kuroo.”</p><p>“For what he is.”</p><p>Bokuto rolled his eyes, “How about you <em> win </em>against him before you hop on your bullshit?”</p><p>“Why are you being like this?”</p><p>“Like what?”</p><p>“A dickhead. This is the longest you’ve gone without making a joke and I’m worried.”</p><p>“I just think you’re being rude for no reason.”</p><p>“You have no problem with me insulting your other teammates.”</p><p>“Yes, I do.”</p><p>“Okay, well, Konoha isn’t really good at any particular skill. If he didn’t stand in the same position on the court at any one time I wouldn’t know which role he played on your team.”</p><p>Bokuto struggled against his smile, but lost, “Yeah. Jack of all trades, master of none.”</p><p>“See?” Kuroo folded his arms. “So why don’t you tell me what’s really going on?”</p><p><em> “Nothing, mom,” </em> Bokuto pushed by him, clutching his shirt tightly in his fist as he went. “If you make an <em> actual </em> case against the guy, <em> then </em>I’ll tell you you’re right.”</p><p>“What about your shoes?” Kuroo called.</p><p>
  <em> “God damn it!” </em>
</p><p>Bokuto turned and snatched his shoes out of Kuroo’s outstretched hand and stormed out of the room, running immediately into Akaashi.</p><p>“Oh, sorry, Bokuto-san—“ Akaashi looked up and his eyes widened.</p><p>Bokuto backed up self consciously, “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”</p><p>The setter was clearly examining his hair as he stepped forward and leaned up. Bokuto’s face flushed as he stumbled back.</p><p>“W-what are you doing? Ah, Akaashi, I—“ Bokuto waved his hands in front of himself as Akaashi kept approaching.</p><p>The setter reached his hands up and passed his fingers through Bokuto’s hair a few times until it half stuck up, “There you go. What were you saying?”</p><p>Bokuto attempted to look up at his hair, “Why’d you do that?”</p><p>“You looked silly.”</p><p>Bokuto mimicked Akaashi’s soul stopping movements and attempted to push his hair up further, “You think so? Everyone else says it looks silly up.”</p><p>“Oh, it does,” Akaashi <em> laughed </em>as he passed by, “But it looks sillier down.”</p><p>Bokuto gaped after him, his face flushing into a bright blush as Akaashi left. He subconsciously started following after him, dragging his shirt on the floor behind him. He followed him all the way back to their team’s room and watched him as he dug through his bag.</p><p>“Bokuto-san?”</p><p>Bokuto startled back again as Akaashi turned to look at him over his shoulder, “Yes?”</p><p>“Do you have an Iphone charger?”</p><p>“Sure,” Bokuto bent down over his own bag, face flushing harder as he felt Akaashi’s eyes on him. He was suddenly very aware that he forgot to put his shirt on. What if Akaashi thought his body looked weird? It seemed nearly impossible, because his body was perfect, but he was still nervous.</p><p>He took out his charger and presented it to Akaashi, who took it, frowned, then handed it back.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I appreciate the gesture, but it wont work in my phone.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“It’s too new. I have the older model.”</p><p>“Oh,” Bokuto glanced down at it before putting it back. “Sorry.”</p><p>“Why are you sorry?”</p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p>Akaashi furrowed his brow at him and went to say something when <em> stupid </em>Noboru stuck his head in the room.</p><p>“Akaashi! The bath is open to first years now!”</p><p>“Oh, okay, I’ll be right there,” Akaashi nodded at him. “Thank you.”</p><p>“No problem!”</p><p>Bokuto quickly pulled his shirt over his head while Akaashi was distracted, then watched him pull pajamas from his bag. God, he was so cute. They were only navy blue standard pajamas, but <em> wow. </em>He had no right. The setter offered him a small wave before departing to the bath and Bokuto so desperately wanted to follow along and do whatever it took to hear him laugh again.</p><p>He sulked his way out to the common area and slumped beside Kuroo who read while he moped beside Kenma who ignored him in favor of his phone.</p><p>“Hi.”</p><p>Kuroo looked up and snickered at him, “What’s up with your hair?”</p><p>“Isn’t it the greatest thing you’ve ever seen?” Bokuto beamed.</p><p>“It’s certainly <em> something </em>that I’ve seen,” Kuroo half agreed.</p><p>Bokuto curled up on the sofa and stared at Kuroo until the middle blocker cracked and looked at him.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Isn’t Akaashi the greatest?”</p><p>“I thought your hair was the greatest? Also, no, I already said that.”</p><p>“But <em> how </em>could you say that? Haven’t you seen him?”</p><p>Kuroo nodded and looked back at his book, “Yep.”</p><p>“Then how—“</p><p>“Why are you so obsessed with him?”</p><p>“I’m not <em> obsessed.” </em></p><p>“You are.”</p><p>“I’m not.”</p><p>“Okay, then talk about something different.”</p><p>Kuroo looked back to his book while Bokuto shifted uncomfortably, trying to think of something different to talk about.</p><p>“Kenma’s roots are pretty overgrown.”</p><p>Kenma glared at him out of the corner of his eye, “Says you.”</p><p>“My roots are <em> supposed </em>to be dark.”</p><p>“Oh, <em> self burn,” </em>Kenma muttered. “Gotem.”’</p><p>Bokuto crossed his arms and slumped down, <em> “I'm bored. </em>Why aren’t we practicing?”</p><p>“Because we just washed,” Kuroo mumbled.</p><p>“So?”</p><p>“Jeez, take a break, owl boy.”</p><p>Bokuto groaned and moped out of the room. Back to practicing alone. He went back inside the gym and changed his shoes before grabbing a ball from the cart and getting to work. His serves still weren’t where he wanted them to be. They could still be better. <em> He </em>could still be better.</p><p>He wasn’t sure exactly how long he was practicing his serves for when Akaashi scared the living shit out of him.</p><p>“Bokuto-san?”</p><p>The spikers body tensed and he barely hit his set up with the tips of his fingers before falling awkwardly onto his knees. He looked up at Akaashi and covered his hammering heart with his hand.</p><p>“Hey, sorry,” Akaashi entered the gym hesitantly. “Kuroo-san told me you’d probably be here.”</p><p>“I’m not going to bed yet,” Bokuto panted, standing with his hands on his knees. </p><p>“I didn’t say you had to,” Akaashi moved further in and Bokuto’s eyes widened as he noticed he carried his volleyball shoes.</p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p>“Practicing with you.”</p><p>“You are?”</p><p>“Is that okay?”</p><p>Bokuto looked back to the ground, watching his sweat drip on the floor with a huge smile, “Yeah.”</p><p>Akaashi changed his shoes and joined Bokuto in the middle of the court. The ace took in his shorts and t-shirt, and <em> not </em>his navy blue pajamas. He really was there to practice. Bokuto spun the ball up in the air and Akaashi caught it.</p><p>“Alright, set me up!”</p><p>“Actually,” Akaashi spun the ball in his hands. “I was hoping you could give me some pointers on my spiking.”</p><p>“What? Why?”</p><p>“It’ll open up a new avenue for us in games if both Enatsu and I focus on our attacks as well as setting, because we could both play in the same set and switch out at will.”</p><p>Bokuto beamed at him, “Ask and you shall receive, Akaashi-san. Just don’t give up on me when it gets hard.”</p><p>“Wouldn’t dream of it.”</p><p>Bokuto’s knees turned to jelly as Akaashi smiled at him and held the ball in his right hand. His hands were so big. How was that possible? He looked away, feeling out of breath all over again. Where did this sudden shift in attitude come from? Why did he suddenly want to practice so late? It must’ve been the training camp.</p><p> </p><p>They worked on line shots. It was what Bokuto was working on, too, so it was good practice for both of them. Akaashi was having a hard time getting it down, but wasn’t quitting. His face was red and sweat dripped down his face and neck. Bokuto was genuinely worried about how his breathing sounded.</p><p>“Okay, buddy boy, maybe we need to take a break—“</p><p><em> “No,” </em>Akaashi wheezed. “Throw me another. I’m… I’m going to... Get it.”</p><p>Bokuto grimaced at how strained his words were but conceded. How could he ever say no to him? He tossed the ball up and frowned as Akaashi just allowed it to pass in front of him, making absolutely no effort to move. Panic flitted through him as Akaashi gripped his stomach with one hand and his mouth with the other. He was rooted to the spot when the setter ran to the door as fast as he could manage. Bokuto’s body finally came back to him as he heard the sounds of retching.</p><p>He ran out to where Akaashi gripped a garbage bin and threw up into it. He hesitantly reached out and patted his back as he heaved.</p><p>“I think you worked too hard,” Bokuto muttered.</p><p><em> “Shut up,” </em>Akaashi groaned as he gripped the bin tighter, causing his knuckles to go white.</p><p>Bokuto heeded his advice and shut his mouth. He continued just rubbing his back for him as he got sick, feeling sad, but strangely happy. Akaashi was really in it. Bokuto used to get sick all the time from overexerting himself while practicing. He was yet to meet someone else willing to put in that kind of effort. He’d just have to see if Akaashi would be willing to do it again.</p><p>Something he knew for sure was that the glass was certainly cracking. Soon enough, he’d be able to reach Akaashi Keiji. He was sure of it.</p><p>The setter whimpered as he leaned over the bin, “This is so <em> gross.” </em></p><p>“No, it’s amazing.”</p><p>“Excuse me?” Akaashi glared at him, eyes glossed over with tears from the force of his sickness.</p><p>“You’re so committed. How can we ever lose?”</p><p>Akaashi slowly stood straight again and Bokuto’s hand fell from his back. The ace turned away from him and stared up at the stars in the sky. He placed his fists on his hips before reaching up to the moon with his right hand.</p><p>Akaashi’s eyes widened as he saw him transform into the person he saw the previous year on that court at Nationals. He wasn’t reaching for the moon, he was reaching for the ball. The sky was merely a representation for the limits of how far he’d go.</p><p>“Yeah,” Bokuto breathed. “When a team of people come together with an absolute love for the game, there just isn’t any way to lose.”</p><p>Akaashi saw himself sitting at Bokuto’s feet with the superglue. He held the disjointed shards of broken glass in his hands. Then, he moved the glass up and stared at the number twelve on his Fukurōdani jersey. He stared at an ace, a star— a hero. If only…</p><p>Bokuto brought his hand down and clenched it in a fist in front of his chest, then turned to Akaashi with a very genuine smile.</p><p>If only… he’d stay that way when he moved the glass again.</p><p>“We’re winners. You, me, all of us. We’re a team and we’re going all the way!”</p><p>Akaashi blinked as he once again saw the night around them. He heard the crickets again. He felt the wind through his hair and numbing his skin. He smelled the after effects of the meal that was previously cooked for them. And he saw Bokuto. The ace. The star. The hero.</p><p>And he didn’t see any glass.</p><p>The view was much clearer that way.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Well,” Akaashi breathed. “How can you be so sure?”</p><p>“Because!” Bokuto stepped closer before pointing at him. “We’re the good guys! The main characters! What’s that word, again?”</p><p>Akaashi furrowed his brow at him, “Protagonist?”</p><p>“Yes!” Bokuto retracted his point before forming a fist yet again. “We are the <em> protagonists! </em> Those guys <em> never </em>lose!”</p><p>“We are the protagonists,” Akaashi repeated quietly.</p><p>Bokuto laughed loudly before slapping Akaashi on the back, “C’mon, let’s change our shoes. We’re done here.”</p><p>“Right,” Akaashi turned and followed him back into the gym, but stopped dead as Bokuto stopped at the stop of the stairs.</p><p>His chest tightened as his hair blew in the wind, something it was normally too stiff with gel to do. His shirt shook loosely around his broad frame. Bokuto always smelled of adrenaline— that was the only way to describe it. Akaashi had never encountered his scent in the physical world before. His eyes locked onto Bokuto’s golden ones.</p><p>“I can hear you thinking back there.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“What about?”</p><p>“It’s impossible for it to be impossible for us to lose.”</p><p>Bokuto smirked before turning forward again, “Everything is possible if you work hard enough, Akaashi-san.”</p><p>Akaashi watched him with wide eyes. The words ran through him, colder than the pre-winter air. He smiled widely before starting forward after his ace.</p><p>“Maybe you can apply that thinking to your studies, too!”</p><p>“Aw, <em> shuddup! </em> I’m doing <em> fine!” </em></p><p>Akaashi laughed as he picked up his sneakers and kicked off his volleyball shoes. Bokuto merely smiled at him. What a beautiful sound. He silently vowed right then that he’d do whatever he took to hear it as often as possible. Akaashi just looked better when he was happy. The world always needed more beauty, and what better contribution than Akaashi Keiji’s smile?</p><p>He blinked back down to his laces, feeling full, happy, and truly seen for the first time. Sure, people watched him all the time. He was a noteworthy person and he loved the attention. But Akaashi <em> saw </em>him.</p><p>He couldn’t wait to break down that glass case and truly see Akaashi Keiji right back.</p><p><em> ‘Soon,’ </em> he thought. <em> ‘I know it.’ </em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Sweet Sixteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Bokuto looked around at his teammates as he warmed up before practice on Saturday morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>He realized. “Where’s Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Konoha looked away as he stretched down to reach his toes, “He went back to Toyosu.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What? Like, forever?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Noboru shook his head. “No, he said he just needs to see his dad for his birthday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why wouldn’t he tell me?” Bokuto threw his hands up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He told our captain,” Washio muttered. “That’s the only person he needed to tell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but Nationals are in a month. We have a lot of work to do. He should’ve told me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Konoha’s irritated expression melted to understanding, “Ya know, he’s actually kinda got a point this time—“</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Thank you!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto gripped him by the shoulders before shaking him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Plus it’s his </span>
  </em>
  <span>birthday! How am I supposed to let him know I hope it’s the best day ever if he goes off to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Toyosu?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could… Text him?” Komi squeaked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, enough,” Enatsu pulled Bokuto off of Konoha. “You need to keep yourself in check, Bokuto.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto balked at him, “Why isn’t anyone else outraged?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because none of us are in love with Akaashi,” Sarukui muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Komi and Konoha both slapped Sarukui all over and shouted in hushed voices while Bokuto deflated and shrunk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto turned away from them, “I’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>in love </span>
  </em>
  <span>with Akaashi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all watched with pained expressions as he moped over to the ball cart and picked out a ball. He simply stared down at it as his teammates all started around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto, throw us that ball!” Enatsu shouted, elated he’d be the starting setter again for the duration of Akaashi’s trip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shot his teammates a pained look before sighing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m telling him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do not tell him,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Noboru said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m telling him,” Enatsu repeated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll die,” Konoha said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Worth it. I just want to practice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It won’t go the way you want,” Kumi warned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Enatsu wasn’t paying his underclassmen any attention. He pointed at Bokuto who watched him with dejected eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi Keiji likes you too!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto merely blinked and cocked his head, not understanding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you hear me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto looked at the ball before looking at Enatsu again, blinking twice. The setter sighed and ripped the ball out of his hands before walking back to his team. Bokuto didn’t move for a long moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you so,” Kumi rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever,” Enatsu said. “The whole thing is getting kind of old.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t even know for sure if Akaashi likes him that way,” Konoha said. “Akaashi will murder you if he finds out you just said that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter. One way or another it’ll end this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s pretty mean,” Noboru muttered. “It’s like they </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>became friends. What if you just wrecked the chemistry we’ve been building?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Enatsu sighed and began counting off on his fingers, “They study together four times a week, they eat lunch together, Akaashi </span>
  <em>
    <span>gives him stickers when he’s good, </span>
  </em>
  <span>and not to mention how they practice together every morning and evening. Have any of us left after them since that training camp? Have any of us been here </span>
  <em>
    <span>before </span>
  </em>
  <span>them? They’re like a married couple.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That doesn’t mean anything,” Komi said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Akaashi has told me he does those things because he needs to,” Konoha said. “Like, the stickers were because Bokuto was put on academic probation. He was going to be kicked off the team. Apparently he responds well to praise. Who would’ve thought?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>on academic probation or </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>on academic probation?” Enatsu looked at Bokuto with wide eyes, who just watched them with blank eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Jesus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Coach is </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>mad at him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their captain crossed his arms before looking at Bokuto, “Hey! You’re on academic probation?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto slunk away from his loud voice and hid behind the ball cart half heartedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Whaaat?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto asked weakly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leave and don’t come back until you finish enough extra credit work that you’re not on </span>
  <em>
    <span>academic probation.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aw, that’s not fair!” Komi frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it is,” their captain said. “The rest of us have put in a lot of work to keep our grades up. Clearly Bokuto hasn’t been trying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I have,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto whined. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“School is hard.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then go work hard,” the captain dismissed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glared at him before stomping off and changing as quickly as possible. He ignored his teammates’ goodbyes as he stormed out of the gym. He instinctively took his phone out and went to go dial Akaashi to give him a piece of his mind, when he saw the setter already texted him. Akaashi </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>texted him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘</span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>Akaashi Keiji🏐👑: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>Hey, Bokuto-san. Sorry I didn’t let you know sooner, but I had to go to Toyosu unexpectedly. I’ll be home soon, but please keep studying on your own while I’m gone.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s face went red. So, he did tell him. Just a bit late. But late was way better than never. He didn’t know how to respond. What was he supposed to say? His phone buzzed again and Bokuto’s heart raced.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘</span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>Akaashi Keiji🏐👑: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>Also, don’t practice too hard or I’ll make you regret it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Bokuto Kōtarō: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>good thing i cant practice at all.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Akaashi Keiji🏐👑: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>What does that mean?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Bokuto Kōtarō: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>they banned me from the gym until i get my grades up. the stupid dumb idiots whats the point to practicing whthout me?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Akaashi Keiji🏐👑: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>There’s a lot of points to practicing without you. They’re still a team, remember.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Bokuto Kōtarō: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>whos side are you even on</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Akaashi Keiji🏐👑: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>Whose* Also. The side of reason.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Bokuto Kōtarō: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>whatever nerd. loser boy.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Akaashi Keiji🏐👑: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>Thank you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Bokuto Kōtarō: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>happy birthday by the way</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Akaashi Keiji🏐👑: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, actually. Can I call you?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Bokuto Kōtarō: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>ya’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His response was short, but his brain was short circuiting. Akaashi </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted </span>
  </em>
  <span>to call </span>
  <em>
    <span>him? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Also, he never had such a long text conversation with Akaashi. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Also, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he never double texted. Something weird was going on. He eagerly picked up the phone and a chill tore through him at the sound of Akaashi’s warm voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you aren’t busy with the team, what do you think about coming down to Toyosu for the weekend?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s eyes just about fell out of his head, “Me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sounded very shy, “I had to come back for my birthday this weekend, because of… legal things. But I don’t really have any friends here anymore. And my dad… He wants me to have friends over. And… Yeah. Would you like to come here? I can pay for your travel costs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re friends?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? I mean, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>thought </span>
  </em>
  <span>so. Aren’t we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto was going to throw up. He did all he could do, which was squeak, “Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you’ll come? You can bring Kuroo-san if it would make you more comfortable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That cat bastard? Nah, he’ll just ruin everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s kind of rude,” Akaashi said flatly, and Bokuto’s heart faltered with panic. “But I couldn’t agree more.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you not like Kuroo, Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It isn’t that I don’t like him. He just exhausts me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, because he’s my best friend and I love him. You’ll come to love him, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure I will.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Send me that address and I’ll see you soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, but, Bokuto-san... I should warn you. My dad isn’t exactly the…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto furrowed his brow at Akaashi’s tense tone, “Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Never mind. It’ll be fine. I’ll see you soon, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, okay,” Bokuto said slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodbye.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bye, Akaashi. For now!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked down at his phone as the call dropped before quite literally jumping up and down in joy. He spun around in a circle while other students stared at him strangely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey, hey! Akaashi, here I come, buddy boy!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sprinted home and crashed through the door, evidently scaring his mother who watered the plants by the doorway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kōtarō! What are you doing home?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remember Akaashi Keiji?” He beamed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She lowered her watering can, “The one you talk about constantly? Can’t say it rings a bell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ignored her sarcasm, much too happy to care, “He invited me down to Toyosu! Can I go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right now!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She frowned, “That’s pretty short notice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Bokuto practically vibrated with excitement. “Please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to say no, Kōtarō,” she laughed. “I don’t want to kill you. You’re my only son.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hugged her tightly and kissed her head, “I love you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, too,” she laughed as he took off up the stairs to pack a bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought about what to pack for a moment. If Akaashi’s father lived in Toyosu, he was likely particularly wealthy. That meant he needed to pack nicer clothes. He frowned. But, if he packed </span>
  <em>
    <span>too </span>
  </em>
  <span>nice of clothes and his father wasn’t as </span>
  <em>
    <span>fancy </span>
  </em>
  <span>as Bokuto thought, he could offend Akaashi— and he didn’t want that. He hummed and decided just to pack some of everything, absolutely overfilling his bag. He bid his farewell to his mother and was off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ride was super long. Busses didn’t even go into the neighborhood, so he opted to cab. They pulled up outside of the large apartment complex and Bokuto gaped up. He looked between the building and the frozen water on the other side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure this is right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep,” the cabbie said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“3-5-6 Toyosu, Koto-ku?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Toyosu Tower,” the cabbie rolled his eyes. “Every second you’re wasting is getting more and more expensive, kid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Bokuto said before paying him and getting out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He craned his neck to look up at the building.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Okay, so he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>rich </span>
  </em>
  <span>rich.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He readjusted his bag on his shoulder before remembering what Akaashi told him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Just call me to let me know when you arrive. You need a key to get to our floor.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Jesus,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto thought. He should've known.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took out his phone and dialled Akaashi. He waited for him to pick up, growing more and more certain he was in the wrong place the longer it took.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hello? Bokuto-san?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey. I’m here, I think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay. Wait inside, I’ll be right there.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto frowned as the call dropped and pocketed his phone. He started towards the building and reached to push the door in when it moved out from in front of him. He stumbled forward and met eyes with a doorman. He even wore white gloves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My apologies, sir. Are you alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, all good,” Bokuto dismissed as he took in the large lobby. Everything was white marble and when he looked into the floors, he could see himself looking back. There was a grand piano, expensive looking art and minimalistic furnishings around the lobby. He took a seat on a red chair, and it was every bit as uncomfortable as it looked. He tapped his fingers against the arms of the chair, growing more and more certain he was in the wrong building.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi couldn’t be from </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>rich of a family. His phone was so old. He cycled through the same five outfits. No, it was impossible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned in the chair and saw Akaashi standing there. He wore black slacks, black and shiny loafers on his feet, and a baby blue button up shirt. In other words… He looked so incredible that Bokuto forgot how to stand. He forgot how to speak. He forgot how to breathe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for coming. I’m glad you found the place alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto nodded at him, crumbling under his blue eyes. He wanted to touch him. Just for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you ready?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto nodded again and did his best to stand and make his way over to his setter— No, his </span>
  <em>
    <span>friend. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He fell into stride beside him and waited for the elevator. They stepped inside and Akaashi turned his key then pressed the button.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stood side by side and said nothing. Akaashi seemed to get tenser and tenser with each beep as they passed by all the other floors in the building— all the way to the top.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Akaashi—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto was cut off by the doors opening and Akaashi sighing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Showtime,” he muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto frowned as he followed him into the apartment. It was almost like another lobby, just at the top of the building. The apartment seemed to span for the entirety of the top floor and the actual floors shined. Everything was white, except the decor, which was black and some sparse houseplants. Bokuto gaped around. It was so impressive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san is here,” Akaashi yelled as he grabbed the ace by the sleeve and dragged him in the opposite direction of which he spoke to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are you going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto turned to the deep voice and vaguely registered Akaashi’s body tensing as he stopped dead in his tracks. The man was who he could only assume was his friend’s father— an older gentleman, but not unattractive. He was tall, dark hair, light skin, sharp jaw and the </span>
  <em>
    <span>drip. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Yeah, that man was paid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nowhere,” Akaashi sighed and dropped Bokuto’s arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” the man said before approaching and offering his hand to Bokuto. “Akaashi Yutaka.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto Kōtarō,” he said, shaking his hand firmly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do?” Bokuto cocked his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. Seventh best hitter in all of Japan. High school division, of course. Don’t let that get you down, though, not everyone can be in the top five,” he laughed. “Because there’s only five of them, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Bokuto said slowly as his hand fell back to his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Fucking rude,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought. Is that what Akaashi was going to say to him on the phone?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, did you bring skates?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Akaashi said meekly. “I forgot to mention. Bring skates.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A lot of help that is now!” Bokuto threw his arms up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry,” Yutaka said. “We’ll find you something. Maybe Chihaku has his around somewhere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chihaku?” Bokuto looked at Akaashi, who just nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll have Yua take a look. You boys go get ready.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto wandered behind Akaashi and jumped as the setter all but slammed the door. They met each other’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Questions?” Akaashi sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About a million.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t even count to a million.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>count to a million,” Bokuto beamed, following him around the room with his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do it, then,” Akaashi smiled lightly as he sat on the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto closed his eyes and crossed his arms, “I would but that’d be such a waste of time!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto sat beside Akaashi and leaned back on his hands, “So, who’s Chihaku?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My stepbrother.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a stepbrother?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Two,” Akaashi nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s pretty cool! You never mention them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Akaashi leaned forward onto his knees. “We’re not very close. Do you need to borrow socks?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto looked down at his thin ankle socks, “Yes, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stood and opened the first drawer of his dresser, producing two pairs of thick woolen socks before throwing one at Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep. Did you bring a jacket?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto looked down at his outfit. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>set for skating </span>
  <em>
    <span>at all. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Nor was he set for a weekend at an apparent millionaire’s house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi snickered at him before moving to his closet and sifting through the clothes within, “Actually. I don’t think these will fit you. You’re pretty big.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Big?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Muscular,” Akaashi rolled his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lemme try before you just go assuming,” Bokuto moved beside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Akaashi took his largest jacket off its hanger and passed it over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto attempted to put it on, but it wouldn’t go past his biceps. He looked down, surprised at his caught arms before laughing loudly and jumping up and down.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Dude, I’m so big!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just said that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know, but look!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto whipped the jacket off and flexed, too busy looking at his own arms to notice Akaashi’s wandering eyes and blush. Their heads snapped to the door as someone knocked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Boys?” A woman called. “I’m coming in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pushed the door open before Akaashi could respond, holding a pair of skates and looked at Bokuto strangely as he still flexed. He cleared his throat and stood straight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” she said. “I’m Akaashi Tomiko.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached over and shook her hand, “Bokuto Kōtarō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad to meet you! I was getting worried that our little Keiji didn’t have any friends at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glanced back at Akaashi, seeing him stand with crossed arms and an averted gaze, “Yeah, he’s really popular at our school! Everyone feels really lucky that he’s our setter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh,” she pursed her lips. “I wish he’d quit that little sport and go back to singing! Such a beautiful voice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>not quitting,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course not,” she smiled and handed Bokuto the skates. “Anyways, let’s get going. The other parents will be waiting for us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Other parents?” Bokuto asked once she was gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, my younger step-sibling’s friends will be attending.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“A kid?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi eyed him strangely, “What’s so cool about that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love kids!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you won’t love </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>kid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you say that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll see,” Akaashi said as he retrieved his own skates from his closet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Figure skates?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he held them up. “My mom used them so she taught me on them as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love that!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi smiled as he walked by Bokuto and nudged him with his elbow, “Hey, uh, Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you mean that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mean what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi studied his face before laughing and shaking his head, “Never mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto watched after him with a racing heart, “Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They met with Tomiko and Yutaka by the elevator when the man looked them up and down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No jacket?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I forgot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yutaka tsked and disappeared around the corner, “Yua, could you please grab a jacket for Kōtarō-kun?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, sir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto blushed as a small woman with dark hair in a black uniform presented him with a downy jacket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, thank you so much!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, sir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He handed Akaashi the skates and put the jacket on and jumped as he went to take the skates back as Yutaka snapped at Akaashi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Those aren’t your skates.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go get your skates.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t ska—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keiji.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Fine.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shifted awkwardly on his feet and stared down until Akaashi returned, presenting hockey skates. He looked entirely displeased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get that look off your face,” Yutaka frowned. “I don’t know why you insist on acting like a woman.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t—“</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Women’s skates, long hair—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we please refrain from doing this in front of our guest?” Tomiko laughed awkwardly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, of course,” Yutaka cleared his throat and straightened his jacket. “My apologies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto avoided his eye as they all got onto the elevator and he stood near the back. Yutaka reached out and clasped one of Akaashi’s shoulders and pulled him into his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know I just want to see you succeed,” he muttered close to his ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto chewed on his cheek until they were back in the lobby, then followed them outside. He was suddenly </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>thankful for the jacket as the weather seemed to take a turn towards freezing. He looked up as snow began falling from the sky then smiled at Akaashi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” The setter furrowed his brow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Snow!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” He looked up. “Yeah, true.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They trailed behind Akaashi’s parents, the setter staring at the ground and Bokuto staring at the sky.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Akaashi-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is now a bad time to tell you that I don’t know how to skate?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s head snapped up to him as he balked, “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed, “Never learned.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Akaashi looked back down. “I can help you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?” The setter looked at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a volleyball player. A really good one. You should know better than to look down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi gaped at him for a moment before steeling his expression and staring forward, “Right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto clapped him on the back, “Good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked on for a moment, neither acknowledging the fact that Bokuto’s hand remained on Akaashi’s upper back. It didn’t take them long to reach the outdoor rink, where they were led to a group of small children waiting impatiently with equally impatient parents.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re going to go get our skates on,” Akaashi said, despite clearly being unheard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto pursed his lips at the chattering parents before looking over the children, wondering which was fortunate enough to call Akaashi their big brother. Then, he realized Akaashi was already gone. He scanned the crowd before landing on the boy with the white jacket, a couple inches taller than most and ran to catch up. They entered the small change room and sat heavily beside each other to change into their skates. Akaashi tied his up quickly and tightly while Bokuto… did his best. When he was done, he looked up and bit back a smile as Bokuto finished with far too much lace left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you need help, Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I got it!” Bokuto exclaimed proudly as he stood and nearly rolled an ankle because his skates were too loose. He fell back and glared at his feet. “Okay, yes, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi chuckled lightly as he reached down and took Bokuto’s foot by the blade and placed it in his lap. Bokuto watched with wide eyes and pink cheeks as his setter undid his handiwork and redid it with his natural finesse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Next.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto switched the foot in Akaashi’s lap for his other one and watched with the same fascination as the first. He stared at Akaashi as he focused, wrapping the laces around the back of the skate before tying them at the front.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better?” Akaashi breathed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stood again, that time leaning against the wall, “Yeah. Much. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked to the door and stood just outside at the top of the stairs before Akaashi moved down them. Bokuto remained at the top, nervously shifting his weight from foot to foot. The setter looked back up at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, when you said you don’t know how to skate, you meant…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I meant I </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>know how to skate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Akaashi said. “I’m not that great on hockey skates, but I’ll help you as much as I can. I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto smiled warmly down at him, “I’ll just drag you down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think you could ever,” Akaashi smiled back and reached a gloved hand up to him. “Come on. Trust me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ace heaved a hefty sigh, feeling light as air, and clasped Akaashi’s hand before descending the stairs. That was all he ever wanted. Gravity told a different story, though. The second the blade of his skate touched the ice, he fell. He slid awkwardly on his ass, and as promised, he dragged Akaashi along with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter pushed off of his elbows, so he was hands and knees in the snow and made eye contact with Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> sorry, but I warn—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so funny,” Akaashi laughed loudly, sending heat down Bokuto’s spine. “Let’s try again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, okay,” Bokuto got onto his knees and waited for Akaashi to be standing again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter reached down and took both of his ace’s hands in his own, helping him to stand once again. Bokuto shuffled his feet awkwardly, clearly having little to no experience on skates. Akaashi let go of his left hand and moved beside him, causing the ace to windmill his opposite arm out to keep his balance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See, push, don’t walk. Want me to show you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Bokuto stopped moving his feet until his momentum stopped and Akaashi let go of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Push, like this,” the setter demonstrated, pointing at how he pushed out on his leg rather than attempt to walk. “If you take your foot off the ground, it should be behind you </span>
  <em>
    <span>after </span>
  </em>
  <span>you’ve completed your motion. Not before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi turned and reclaimed Bokuto’s hands before skating backwards, forcing the ace forwards. Bokuto looked down as he attempted what Akaashi showed him and caught on relatively quickly. He was just getting into the swing of it when a kid cut between them at the speed of light, sending their hands apart and Bokuto to the ice. The kid stopped harshly beside them, spraying Bokuto with ice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Keiji,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>the kid sneered. “What are ya? Gay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go away, Kazuki.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re the one that’s holding hands with a </span>
  <em>
    <span>boy.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m helping him skate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No! You’re a fag!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>The kid laughed. “I know you are! Dad said so!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not your dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>your problem with that?” Bokuto whispered while he gaped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not gay,” Akaashi crossed his arms. “And </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>dad did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>say that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Is it really so hard to believe that he did?’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever! Have fun on your fairy date!” The kid started skating away. “Oh! </span>
  <em>
    <span>And </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’m telling!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Telling on </span>
  <em>
    <span>what?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi anguished.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That you’re gay!”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Don’t.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Too late!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi watched him skate away, then turned back to Bokuto with a very red, upset face. He reached down, but Bokuto didn’t accept the help. He stood on his own and started pushing forward, the way he was shown.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Akaashi ran his hands over his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have nothin’ to be sorry about,” Bokuto said. “You were right about one thing, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s that?” Akaashi stared at the ice as they skated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like that kid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They made a full rotation around the rink, with Bokuto almost falling only nine times, before either spoke again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay if you are, though, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi furrowed his brow, “If I am what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Akaashi’s face went red again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not gay,” Bokuto mused, throwing his arms out as his skate knicked on the uneven ice. “But I do like boys sometimes, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>do?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi stared up with wide eyes, causing Bokuto’s heart to eat itself and his mouth to twist into a painfully large smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! It’s only normal! Sometimes some people are just </span>
  <em>
    <span>too </span>
  </em>
  <span>good to miss for a reason as dumb as a penis!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi smiled at him, “I like how you put that. I actually—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keiji!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They looked over to where Yutaka beconed Akaashi over, standing with the kid. The setter sighed and his eyes looked desperately into Bokuto’s for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be right back. I’m sorry. Please, wait here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Bokuto breathed and watched him go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi skated over to his dad and step-brother, “Yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kazuki-kun just told me the craziest thing, Keiji. I was hoping maybe you could shed some light on it for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Akaashi asked flatly, his heart racing and blood growing hotter by the second.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you dating that boy?” He pointed out to Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, sir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>lying </span>
  </em>
  <span>to me right now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, sir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do I know if you’re telling the truth?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to see either of you touch each other for as long as you’re here. Or ever, for that matter. Am I understood?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, sir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“May I go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi turned his face away from both his father and Bokuto as he took three large breaths in an attempt to collect himself and to, God save him, do anything </span>
  <em>
    <span>but </span>
  </em>
  <span>cry. Crying would make it all so much worse. Once he felt level </span>
  <em>
    <span>enough, </span>
  </em>
  <span>though that didn’t mean level in the least, he made his way back to Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry about that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I already told you, don’t make me say it again,” the ace said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you do me a favor?” Akaashi stared down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we go around once more then get off? I’m done with this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank god,” Bokuto laughed. “Why not go right now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure he’s still watching.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glanced awkwardly at where Yutaka was still </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely </span>
  </em>
  <span>staring at them. He sighed, then flailed a bit for a second as he almost lost his balance once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you even come here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No offense, but your family is terrible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“None taken,” Akaashi sighed. “I’m worried about oversharing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If it’s about scaring me off, then don’t worry! I asked, dummy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But if you just aren’t ready to talk about it, then none taken.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I appreciate that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto pursed his lips. He said none taken, and he should’ve meant it, but he wished Akaashi would’ve trusted him. After all, he shared a pretty big secret about himself. Akaashi pushed ahead a bit, but looked back before looking back down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My dad just expects a lot. He wants us all to be successful like him. I had to pick two instruments, two sports, two extra lessons </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>take university level courses growing up. But I was also expected to have friends that I saw all the time and engage in age appropriate social activities. Then, when I got to high school I was expected to get a girlfriend. You know, the prettiest, smartest girl in our entire Academy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Bokuto said before attempting to catch up. “Well, you still can! That girl would </span>
  <em>
    <span>totally </span>
  </em>
  <span>go for you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced at him with a small smile, “I’m not particularly interested in Heather.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Heather?” Bokuto asked, feeling his heart sink at the actual use of a name. Was there a girl involved? It didn’t matter, because he said he wasn’t interested—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Heather is the name for the female lead in stories. I don’t mind her, but… I’m… Gay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto gaped, then beamed, “Hell </span>
  <em>
    <span>ya, you are!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi recoiled a tad at the enthusiasm, “Why are you so excited, Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because you admitted out loud about who you are! What could be better?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s smile grew as he looked at Bokuto, then fell altogether when his eyes passed him and landed on his father.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If my father would accept me, maybe?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto frowned and nodded, “Yeah, I guess that’d be pretty cool. But, hey!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Akaashi laughed as Bokuto attempted and succeeded at turning backwards. He really was a natural athlete.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never told my dad about me! He isn’t home much. If it makes you feel better I can tell </span>
  <em>
    <span>him </span>
  </em>
  <span>so you’re not alone!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Bokuto-san, no, I couldn’t ask—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>ask, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi!” Bokuto heaved a sigh, beaming. He couldn’t believe he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>hanging out </span>
  </em>
  <span>with Akaashi Keiji, having a very </span>
  <em>
    <span>personal </span>
  </em>
  <span>conversation. “I offered!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I appreciate the offer Bokuto-san, but I don’t see how it’d benefit either of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teams that come out together stay together!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed and went to hit him in the arm but stopped before they made contact and instead clutched his hands behind himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think that’s exactly right,” he muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure it is! You’ll see next month at Nationals! We’re the strongest team!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced up at him, “We’ll have to get better first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! But maybe we can practice while we’re here since I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>banned from the gym.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi led them off the ice and Bokuto fell again when the ice turned to snow, cursing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>hate </span>
  </em>
  <span>skating. Let’s never do this again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Agreed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked up the stairs to the change room and sat by their shoes then stared untying their skates.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, what do you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About practicing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sat back and ran his fingers over the blades to rid them of the snow, “It’s a great idea, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Really? You’re gonna let me play?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Akaashi said. “You need to study </span>
  <em>
    <span>first.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto huffed and sat back, “I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>need </span>
  </em>
  <span>math or english or to know how to write an essay!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded gravely as he put on his shoes again, “Right. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>need those things. Maybe we don’t need to study at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Really?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto beamed as he dropped his shoes in his excitement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! Then we can </span>
  <em>
    <span>fully </span>
  </em>
  <span>enjoy our time on the court as setter and ace before you fail out of high school, never discovered by scouters, and are ultimately doomed to never play again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s smile slowly fell into a glare, “Okay, okay, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>get it. </span>
  </em>
  <span>But don’t say that. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>need </span>
  </em>
  <span>volleyball to work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then study and we can have fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll help you, don’t worry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then we can have a lot of fun out on the court for the rest of high school!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto cocked his head at his shoes as he tied his laces, “You think volleyball is that fun, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Of course. That’s why I play it,” Akaashi leaned to look at him, surprised by his seriousness. “Isn’t that why </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>play it, too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, what? Then why do you practice so much?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I’m good at it. It’s a career.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto leaned up and met his eye, then laughed lightly at his perplexed expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to look so surprised. You’re not the only one planning for your future, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It isn’t that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto watched his back as he stood, then his heartbeat turned irregular as Akaashi looked back over his shoulder. His eyes looked… disappointed. The ace held his breath as his setter spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be there when you realize how fun volleyball is. I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While his back was turned, Bokuto took the opportunity to really </span>
  <em>
    <span>look </span>
  </em>
  <span>at him. His cuffed jeans, his white jacket, messy hair and leather boots. The way he hung his skates over his shoulder. The way he pulled at his fingers as if perpetually nervous. He was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, and in that moment he decided he was the most beautiful thing he’d </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever </span>
  </em>
  <span>see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you coming, Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah! Sorry!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ace clambered after him, grabbing the skates hastily from the floor as he went. He faltered and trailed behind Akaashi as he approached his stepmother who gabbed along with other mothers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tomiko—“</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Mom,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>she corrected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blinked at her, “We’re going for a walk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I didn’t get any pictures of you and your brother!” She held a finger up to them, then approached the ice, waving Kazuki over. The kid skated up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, mom? Me and Izumi were about to race!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get beside Keiji, baby, momma wants a picture.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kid glanced at Akaashi, then did as he was told. They stood awkwardly beside each other as Tomiko got into position to snap a photo. She glanced back up over her phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Closer together!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boys shuffled slightly closer and Tomiko fully put her phone down before looking exasperated at them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on! Act like you love each other! You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>brothers!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi and Kazuki wrapped their arms around each other and posed for the photo, but Tomiko still wasn’t satisfied as she peered at her screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Smile!” She sang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto blinked as both boys flashed award winning smiles, appearing to be the very best of friends for the instant it took Tomiko to snap a photo. The second the woman stood again, their faces dropped and they stepped far apart from each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay!” She smiled as she looked at the photo. “You’re free to go!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kazuki dashed back out onto the ice and Akaashi rejoined Bokuto. They just started walking away when Tomiko called after them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, actually, let’s get a photo of you two, too! It isn’t often we get to see Keiji’s friends! Who knows when it’ll happen next?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Akaashi said flatly, turning back to face her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No problem!” She beamed, unironically. “Come on! Get together!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto frowned, uncertain if he would be allowed to touch Akaashi during the photo or not, so he gave up control of the situation to his setter, much like he’d become used to. They stood awkwardly, half a foot apart and smiled at the camera.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you two being so weird?” She asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad spoke to me,” Akaashi muttered, and her eyes became knowing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi leaned slightly closer to Bokuto and looked up to meet his eye. They turned back and smiled fakely for the camera, both feeling entirely out of place. Tomiko snapped the photo and looked down with a nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very good. Thanks! See you later, Keiji, Kentarō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s actually—“ Bokuto trailed off as she looked back up. “Hey, can I see the picture?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, okay,” she frowned as she opened it back up and handed him her phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto looked down at it with a warm heart. It was nice. He admired the way the snow rested in Akaashi’s hair and eyelashes, </span>
  <em>
    <span>but </span>
  </em>
  <span>he didn’t appreciate the distance or the fakeness of their expressions. He hummed and handed the phone back to Tomiko.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned back and clapped Akaashi across the back as he started ahead, “Let’s go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Akaashi fell into stride with him. They ran across the street, narrowly avoiding traffic and slowed again once they hit the sidewalk on the other side. Bokuto looked down into the river as they walked while Akaashi stared up into the swirling snow clouds as he toyed with the laces to his skates over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry that this is so lame,” Akaashi laid softly. “But, I’m glad you’re here anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto looked over to see his setter was already staring at him, “Huh? Oh! No! It’s not lame! I’m having a lot of fun!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blinked slowly at his friend as he wondered if the color in his cheeks was because of the cold or because of </span>
  <em>
    <span>him. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He really hoped it was the latter, but Akaashi looked beautiful regardless. He cleared his throat as he redirected his gaze up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That picture was lame, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, they always are,” Akaashi smiled at him, doing strange things to his heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They don’t need to be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto pulled Akaashi aside and stopped a stranger, “I’m so sorry to bother you, but could you take our photo?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, sure,” she smiled, taking Bokuto’s phone from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ace stepped back and boldly took Akaashi around the waist, pulling him into the side of his chest. Akaashi blinked up at him, shocked, steadying himself with one hand against his arm. His breath hitched in his throat at the firmness that still presented itself under the softness of the thick jacket. He stared into Bokuto’s smile with pressure forming in his chest. He almost wanted to </span>
  <em>
    <span>cry, </span>
  </em>
  <span>which was so weird.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The snow began to dampen Bokuto’s hair as it landed and melted over the locks, causing them to saturate and darken as they slumped down. His eyelashes were thick and wet under the melted snow on them, too. It made his eyes look so much bigger and brighter, if that were possible. And his teeth were so white and straight. He had the perfect smi— Why was he thinking about Bokuto’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>teeth? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Was that something people regularly noticed about people?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Probably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He came all the way out to Toyosu at the blink of an eye just because Akaashi asked. Even in practices, he allowed Akaashi the control of calling the shots, only taking over when it was in his jurisdiction. Most curious of all, he stayed </span>
  <em>
    <span>quiet </span>
  </em>
  <span>and allowed his family the space they needed to exist without getting overly involved, but still defended him to a degree that wasn’t necessarily called for with their current status of friendship. Was it possible… That Bokuto-san </span>
  <em>
    <span>liked </span>
  </em>
  <span>him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time Bokuto broke away, freeing Akaashi, to take his phone back and thank the stranger, the setter had never even posed for the photo. That didn’t stop the ace from beaming down at his phone, though.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, hey, hey! </span>
  </em>
  <span>Now, </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>a photo!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me see,” Akaashi leaned in and frowned as Bokuto held the phone above his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No way, dude, this is only for my eyes and my eyes alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m in it, too. Let me see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed and swatted Akaashi away and he leaned up and attempted to get it from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No way, man, get outta here. My eyes only. Trust me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, whatever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed again as Akaashi gave up and started walking once again. He trailed behind and stared down at the photo. His eyes ate up the way Akaashi looked at him. He stared up with wide eyes, holding onto his arm, leaning into him. Admiration was </span>
  <em>
    <span>clear as day </span>
  </em>
  <span>in his setters eyes in the photo. His heart melted then came back together just to melt all over again. He knew. He knew exactly what it was just then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s eyes left his screen and scanned over Akaashi’s back as he walked, staring down into the river. He had such commanding energy. Just like Bokuto, but in a different way. In a quiet, reserved way. The kind of way where you didn’t notice it was happening, but it certainly was— and by the time you noticed, it was too late.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it was in </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>moment that he knew Akaashi Keiji would be his one and only.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The glass shattered, creating a hole just large enough that Bokuto could finally see inside. He had no intentions of relenting until he could stand by his side entirely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He always knew that he would come to love the boy, and that someday he would love him back— but then… Then he was convinced he’d </span>
  <em>
    <span>only </span>
  </em>
  <span>love Akaashi Keiji. It would be just them. Always. For better or for worse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Bokuto-san? Are you ready to show me the picture now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi frowned and turned at his serious tone, “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stared at him with wide eyes. He couldn’t say it. Not yet. He only </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>graduated to </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘friend’. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Oh, god.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, nothing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Akaashi shrugged before starting forward again, “You’re acting really weird today. Even for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>mean?” Bokuto narrowed his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” Akaashi smiled innocently as they returned to the building.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They thanked the door man and headed back up to the penthouse. Bokuto handed Akaashi the skates and removed his shoes once the setter was done doing so himself. He then followed him back to his room and stared around the space again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>big. There were three doors that weren’t even the one that led into the room. There was actually decor within, but it was so </span>
  <em>
    <span>clearly </span>
  </em>
  <span>not Akaashi’s own choosing that Bokuto wished he was back in his room at his mother’s house where he had nothing personal around at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Akaashi? What are those doors?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This one’s a closet,” Akaashi said, throwing the skates inside before moving to the next door and unlocking it with a small key, “And </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>one is </span>
  <em>
    <span>another </span>
  </em>
  <span>closet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Two closets?” Bokuto gaped, moving quickly to look inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What he saw made his blood rush through his veins. It was a small room inside the door. There was a small chair near the back and all of the shelves were filled with books, knickknacks, art supplies and various notebooks. There was a lamp on the shelf directly above the chair and a small television table leaned against the shelves. Bokuto gawked around before stepping inside and looking around the </span>
  <em>
    <span>honest to god </span>
  </em>
  <span>personal decor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He picked up a photo that leaned against a stack of books and smiled largely at small Akaashi with his young parents. His mother blew bubbles while Akaashi attempted to catch them and his father laughed. They looked so happy. What happened?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were so small!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi leaned over his shoulder and Bokuto’s entire nervous system broke down at the feeling of him brushing up against his back. One of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>worst </span>
  </em>
  <span>things about being a teenage boy was the extremely trigger happy hormones.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Want to see the last room?” Akaashi breathed, his voice hot on Bokuto’s neck, and taking the photo from him, brushing their fingers together before replacing it on the shelf.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah, I’ll be right there,” Bokuto attempted to keep his voice even under the heat Akaashi projected onto him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto blushed deeply as Akaashi walked away and he checked over his shoulder to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>absolutely </span>
  </em>
  <span>sure he’d left the room before quickly tucking his erection into the waistband of his pants. He sighed and shook his head, disappointed with himself. He tore the jacket off, feeling incredibly warm all of the sudden and threw it on Akaashi’s bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ready?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ya know it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, hold onto your hat, because,” Akaashi feigned shock, then gasped as he pushed the door open, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“A bathroom!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto blinked at him before looking back at the ensuite bathroom. The setter played it off as nothing special, but it was the </span>
  <em>
    <span>coolest </span>
  </em>
  <span>bathroom Bokuto had ever seen. It was incredibly large for what it was. There was two sinks, a bath </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>a shower, and the walls and floors were entirely marble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Bokuto smiled as he bounced into the room, “This is the greatest bathroom </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know about </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi leaned on the doorframe, “It </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>nice, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could live in here, you don’t understand!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s—“</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Keiji!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They snapped their head to the bedroom door, where his father allowed himself in. He looked around before locating them talking in the bathroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was showing Bokuto-san how nice your home is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Our </span>
  </em>
  <span>home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I apologize. I was just showing Bokuto-san how nice our home is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Yutaka nodded. “Why’d you run off?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was cold. Tomika-chan told me that it was fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” the man nodded again. “We’re having dinner soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, we’ll be right there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, dad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His father paused with his hand on the doorknob and looked back in, “Yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is Chihaku here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Yutaka smiled, but it clearly didn’t reach his eyes. “Don’t keep him waiting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once the door was closed, Bokuto leaned down beside Akaashi and pointed after him, “What’s his issue with Chihaku?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chihaku doesn’t put up with their nonsense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh? Like… How?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like…” Akaashi thought. “I guess you’ll just have to see. He’s the rebellious type, prompting them to kick him out. He lives with his dad full time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You live with your mom full time,” Bokuto frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Akaashi stepped back and cocked his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did they kick </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi shook his head, “No. I fought in court to be with my mom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto frowned deeper, “Then, if it’s so bad here… Why didn’t he want to go like you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because he intended to use my father for everything he could. He was really good at it, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto bit his cheek, not liking the guy just from the sound of him. He perked up a bit as Akaashi nudged him with his elbow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get dressed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Bokuto spotted his bag by the door and heaved it onto the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared down at the heaping bag and bit back a laugh, “Did you think I asked you to come live here, Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t sure what to pack, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded, “Do you need help picking?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto </span>
  <em>
    <span>nearly </span>
  </em>
  <span>snapped out a no, before he realized what a mistake that’d be, “Yes, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat on the bed and watched as Akaashi shifted through his belongings, considering a couple things longer than others. He settled on light khaki slacks and a white button up shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think these would work best.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Bokuto smiled as he took them back and nearly threw up as their hands brushed together again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is another great part of being here,” Akaashi said sarcastically. “You need to change, like, every forty five minutes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could put on the same outfit as before skating,” Bokuto suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Akaashi said, pulling his shirt off. “That’d go over well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto worked on changing his own clothes and </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>looking at Akaashi do the same. They’d done that before a million times, but Bokuto still couldn’t get used to it. He was just glad his nerves had settled a bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned back just as Akaashi was doing up his belt. The setter fastened up the buckle and stared down at it for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, and if he asks… I changed in the bathroom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They made their way back out to the apartment and saw there were about ten little children running around. Bokuto followed closely behind Akaashi, who peered around likely in search of Chihaku. The ace searched around with his eyes before landing on a short guy with dark skin. He wore jeans and a t-shirt, directly in contrast to the apparent dress code of everyone else. Akaashi must’ve noticed him as well because he charged forward excitedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haku-san!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, what’s up, Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chihaku hugged him and patted him on the back. Bokuto studied him before recalling Kazuki. They must not have been fully related. He stepped into the little corner that Chihaku seemed to claim for himself. The older boy turned his attention on Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit, are you real?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry,” he laughed then bowed to Bokuto. “I wasn’t expecting anyone else over the age of thirteen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! Bokuto-san wound up not being busy with volleyball, so I invited him out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ohh, volleyball, huh? You must be that spiker dude. Like, fourth best in Japan, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto blushed and looked away before muttering, “Seventh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No way!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto stared in shock as Chihaku jumped up. “That’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>you? Seventh? In </span>
  <em>
    <span>all of Japan?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto pressed his lips together to keep from smiling too largely, “Ah, it’s not really a big deal. Not like it’s the top five or anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Dude,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Chihaku laughed. “Seventh is still </span>
  <em>
    <span>insane! </span>
  </em>
  <span>But, if you’re not satisfied then don’t stop!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, my god, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>stops,” Akaashi waved his hands in front of himself. “Please don’t encourage him to work </span>
  <em>
    <span>more.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You heard ‘im, Akaashi! We need to practice more!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After we study, remember? There’s not practicing at home until you—“</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know, I know,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto shushed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s so awesome,” Chihaku said. “Passionate people are the best to be around! You must </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>love volleyball.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, volleyball is pretty cool,” Bokuto agreed, feeling Akaashi’s eyes on him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Boys, dinner,” Tomiko peeked around the corner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Chihaku said flatly. Once she was gone, he sighed, “Y’all ready for this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hardly,” Akaashi frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, same,” Chihaku did a half hearted little dance before singing, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Time to suuuuffer!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto decided he didn’t mind the guy, and maybe even liked him, when Akaashi laughed heartily before following him. The sound consistently made his little heart race.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you coming, Bokuto-san?” Akaashi smiled back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all made their way to the dining room and sat together. Akaashi took the seat beside Bokuto and Chihaku sat directly across from them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t your dad going to sit there?” Bokuto gestured to the head of the table. “Why don’t we sit… like, not here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because,” Akaashi whispered, leaning into him to keep quiet— causing Bokuto’s brain to malfunction. “Since we're the oldest, we need to sit close to him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi fell back and silent as his father entered the room, speaking loudly on his phone. Tomiko sat at the other end of the table and clicked disapprovingly at him. Yutaka shook his hand dismissively at her. Bokuto shifted awkwardly as the children all sat around them. Akaashi hit his foot under the table, grabbing his attention, and gestured discreetly across the table. Chihaku was staring irritatedly at Kazuki, who hummed and tapped the table loudly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kazuki smiled sweetly at him, “Can you go back home?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish,” Chihaku heaved.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t we all,” Akaashi muttered under his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto nudged his foot again under the table and offered him an encouraging smile. Akaashi smiled shyly back before their attention was turned to servers placing food in front of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto quietly thanked the worker and looked at Akaashi who simply stared into his plate. He nudged him again to get his attention, but Akaashi didn’t look up. He merely kept their feet pressed together beneath the table, with his hands tied together, propping his chin up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one moved to eat until Yutaka was done on the phone. Once he hung up, he smiled and gestured for them all to begin. Most of dinner passed in uneventful silence. It was only after they were all served a piece of strawberry cake and Akaashi blew out his solitary candle that things got sticky again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chihaku sat back and stabbed his fork into the cake, “Every time I come here it gets emptier and emptier. It’s like you guys saw minimalism for the first time and said ‘yes, that’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yutaka pursed his lips, “This is the way we like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s good,” Chihaku said, tipping back in his chair. “You gotta have your home the way you like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s all of our home,” Yutaka said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s stomach dropped as Chihaku </span>
  <em>
    <span>laughed, </span>
  </em>
  <span>“No. No, it really isn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto bypassed hitting Akaashi’s foot and instead knocked their knees fully together in distress. Akaashi merely shook his head minutely. Bokuto sat back and pushed his cake around on his plate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it is. You’re all welcome here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure feels that way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s continue this discussion once our guests have left,” Yutaka smiled fakely at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever you want, old man.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi pressed his foot into the top of Bokuto’s, but the spiker was too stressed to really appreciate the action. He noticed his setter wasn’t eating, either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all sat in silence until the children were done eating and Yutaka turned to Akaashi, eyeing up Bokuto’s plate as he went.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you going to eat that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweets will spoil our training. I apologize. I should’ve had more foresight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto was both relieved, impressed and put off by the easy lie. He wondered how often Akaashi had to lie and how often he’d lied to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s alright,” Yutaka said, gesturing that they were done. “It’s your birthday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Workers took their plates away, forcing them to lean together, before Yua passed a parcel to Yutaka. The man waited for the dishes to be removed from the room before handing the silver wrapped box to Akaashi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Happy birthday, son.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Akaashi whispered as he gently took the box.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced at Bokuto, who gave a smile, before carefully unwrapping the paper. He stared down at the brand new, top of the line phone for a long moment. Bokuto frowned at his blank expression. He reached out with his foot and pressed into Akaashi’s before the setter retracted his foot entirely. He blinked down at the phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Is it the wrong color?” Yutaka asked, looking genuinely surprised by his reaction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Akaashi shook his head before looking up and smiling. “Uh, it’s really great, dad. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re very welcome, son.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blinked again, smile straining, before placing the box on the table and pressing the entire side of his leg from the knee down against Bokuto’s. The spiker wasn’t sure why Akaashi’s reaction was so stilted, but he seemed to be overcome with anxiety. He just wanted to hold him and tell him it’d all be okay. On top of all of that, his insides squirmed with his own mixture of emotions. Anxiety, stress, and borderline fear were all overcome with affection as his setter seemed to be going directly to him for some kind of grounding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The glass kept chipping and breaking, exposing more and more of Akaashi Keiji, and the sight couldn’t be more beautiful— even if the act of the breaking glass itself was a bit ugly and even a little scary. Soon, they’d be hand in hand, leaving that all behind them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“May we be excused?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yutaka shook his head, “We’re leaving the table, but you need to stay and socialize! We’re here for you, so you should be around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, that makes sense. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yutaka nodded as Tomiko stood and explained their plans to the children. Bokuto watched them stand and run from that room and into another. Akaashi caught Chihaku’s eye and the older boy just shrugged with crossed arms. They all stood together and joined everyone else in the other room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, Bokuto-kun,” Chihaku muttered. “Pretty tall, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Six foot one,” Bokuto beamed. “Still growing, too!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s great,” Chihaku said bitterly, causing Bokuto to fully notice how short he actually was. “A guy like you has gotta have a girlfriend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really, really,” Bokuto smiled, more than happy to flaunt his singleness right before Akaashi’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You seem </span>
  <em>
    <span>incredibly </span>
  </em>
  <span>happy about that,” Chihaku laughed. “What? Just don’t like dating?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ehh,” Bokuto dismissed with a wave of his hand. “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>a girlfriend last year. She didn’t understand how volleyball was my real priority, so it didn’t work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, damn,” he laughed. “I guess you can’t date if you play volleyball, then? Is that your excuse, too, Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Akaashi suddenly seemed present again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have a girlfriend because volleyball is more important?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh,” the setter frowned and shrugged, holding his hands behind his back. “If you want to play on Fukurōdani and keep up, you’d have to date someone </span>
  <em>
    <span>also </span>
  </em>
  <span>keeping up on Fukurōdani. No one else would understand the demand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow, you—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi furrowed his brow, still staring around the room, seemingly distracted, “But on top of school, music and language lessons, studying and extra credit, I hardly have time to sleep. I don’t see the value in a significant other at this stage in my life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And besides all of that… No one I selected would be good enough for these people. I see no reason to put someone through that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chihaku frowned, “Are you alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Akaashi blinked blankly at him. “Yeah, why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothin’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shifted awkwardly from foot to foot as they all waited for the next thing to happen. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t think there was anything </span>
  <em>
    <span>to </span>
  </em>
  <span>say. He felt as though he was shut down before he even shot his shot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They turned to the doorway as Tomiko lead a group of adults in, explaining the art and furniture as they went. After a </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>thorough room tour, she clapped her hands with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Boys, why don’t you show everyone what you’ve been working on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Told you so,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Chihaku smirked evilly at Akaashi who glowered. “You gonna sing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you that I’m not singing,” Akaashi crossed his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna get you to sing eventually!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure. Good luck.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The woman rushed over, pushing the boys forward to Kazuki, who already sat at the piano. Bokuto’s eyes raked over the adults who were all being served a glass of wine, then the children who sat around the piano on the floor. He shrugged and took a seat amongst the children, staring up at his setter. Tomiko forced a cased instrument into his hands as Chihaku settled into a chair with his </span>
  <em>
    <span>cello.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Jesus,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto thought in awe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi reluctantly removed a violin from the case and Bokuto nearly started vibrating in excitement. He thought there was truly </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing </span>
  </em>
  <span>that his friend </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>do. He was the most amazing person to ever live.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat forward onto his crossed legs in anticipation as they were all prepared to begin their song. Kazuki started slowly on the piano, and despite the spiker genuinely not caring very much for the little devil, he couldn’t deny his talent. His singing voice was also very nice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The snow glows white on the mountain tonight. Not a footprint to be seen. A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I'm the king. The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside. Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stifled a laugh at the idea of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Akaashi Keiji </span>
  </em>
  <span>deliberately learning a song from </span>
  <em>
    <span>Frozen, </span>
  </em>
  <span>but any humor in him died as he started </span>
  <em>
    <span>playing. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He never much cared for music, but when it came from Akaashi… He never wanted it to end. His head then snapped to Chihaku as he started playing as well. How were they </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>so talented?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked to Tomiko as she waved her hand to Akaashi and Chihaku and mouthed at them to sing. Chihaku smiled broadly while Akaashi simply looked away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chihaku’s much nicer voice easily overpowered his younger brother’s as he sang directly to Akaashi, “Don't let them in, don't let them see. Be the good girl you always have to be. Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know.” Akaashi’s heart skipped a beat as his stepbrother discreetly gestured to Bokuto with his head, “Well, now they know!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi took a small step back as Chihaku doubled down on his very </span>
  <em>
    <span>directed </span>
  </em>
  <span>singing, “It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small! And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kazuki glared sideways at his brother who absolutely outshone him, raising his own voice a touch, “It's time to see what I can do. To test the limits and break through. No right, no wrong, no rules for me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chihaku and Kazuki’s voices melted together perfectly with the loud thrums of the instruments, “I'm free!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi averted his eyes to the ground as his dad and stepmother encouraged him to sing from behind the other parents. He also wanted to avoid Chihaku, who put his entire soul into the stupid little performance, trying to coax him into it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boys continued singing, “My power flurries through the air into the ground. My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around. And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chihaku removed his bow from the strings entirely and used it to point at Akaashi, successfully gaining his attention as his angelic voice simply overtook Kazuki’s entirely, “I'm never </span>
  <em>
    <span>coming </span>
  </em>
  <span>back, the past is in the past!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He returned the bow to the strings, putting his entire body into it, beaming as Akaashi actually smiled at him, “Let it go, let it go! When I'll rise like the break of dawn! Let it go, let it go! That perfect girl is gone! Here I stand in the light of day! Let the storm rage on…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boys removed their bows from the strings as the piano tapered off and Chihaku allowed Kazuki the last line, “The cold never bothered me anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The company applauded for them, none louder than Bokuto. The spiker scrambled to stand and rushed up to Akaashi, taking him by the shoulders and shaking slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You guys were so good! What the hell? How are you that amazing? Do it again!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi laughed. “It wasn’t a big deal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What? It was insane! So cool!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s hands fell as Akaashi replaced his violin in its case. He watched from a distance as his friend was pulled around the room, forced to engage in small talk. Once their company was gone, which happened shockingly quickly, Akaashi rejoined his spiker. Yutaka nearly immediately rounded on them as soon as the elevator shut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>insist </span>
  </em>
  <span>upon being a delinquent?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto looked between them, unsure who he was talking to. For all he knew, he was in the crossfire as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll have to be more specific, </span>
  <em>
    <span>pops,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Chihaku crossed his arms and smiled cheekily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yutaka eyed up Bokuto, “Please forgive me for this. Our home isn’t normally so chaotic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto held up his hands, but said nothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>feel the need to challenge me. Why?” Yutaka looked at Chihaku, who didn’t back down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I respect people who respect me. Simply because you are </span>
  <em>
    <span>faaaaar </span>
  </em>
  <span>my elder doesn’t automatically mean you deserve respect.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yutaka looked just about ready to explode when Tomiko inserted herself into the conversation. She laid her hands on her husband’s shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keiji, why won’t you sing? Is it because I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>you to?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi bit his cheek as he twisted his fingers behind him. He opened his mouth to speak, but changed his mind and simply shrugged instead. She turned her attention to Chihaku.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And why would you refer to yourself as a girl while </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>sang?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chihaku laughed hard, “Are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>insecure about your </span>
  <em>
    <span>child </span>
  </em>
  <span>that you need them to manipulate pronouns in a god damn </span>
  <em>
    <span>song?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto decided at that moment that the short rebel was his hero. Both adults looked entirely unraveled. They shared a look and sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re going out tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Akaashi asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know it’s your birthday, but since we were under the impression you wouldn’t be coming out, we already had plans for this evening. Hopefully you can forgive us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi bowed to his father despite not receiving one first, “Of course. Thank you again. I hope you two have an amazing night out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yutaka nodded stiffly and directed Tomiko out of the room by the small of her back. When they were gone, the three teenagers let out a collective breath. Bokuto leaned in and extended his fist to Chihaku, who bumped it with a laugh. He opened his jacket and produced a small baggie of marijuana.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Any takers?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi recoiled and grabbed Bokuto by the sleeve, “We actually need to study. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Some </span>
  </em>
  <span>of us are on academic probation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chihaku shrugged, “Sure. Let me know if you change your mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay!” Akaashi shouted, dragging Bokuto away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He closed the door to his room heavily behind them as they arrived. He slowly sighed, pressing his hand against the doorframe before turning back to his spiker.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This has been completely embarrassing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto beamed at him, “No! I’m learning so much about you! It’s been amazing!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto blinked at him, “Nothing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed and shoved him, but kept his hand on his chest perhaps for just a second too long, “You’re stupid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am not,” Bokuto laughed, throwing himself down on the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are too,” Akaashi heaved his book bag onto Bokuto, then sat next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They spread the pages out before them, working silently unless Bokuto had a question. After an hour of it, Bokuto felt himself </span>
  <em>
    <span>dying. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He needed a distraction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Bokuto-san?” He answered, staring down at his paper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why wouldn’t you sing? From what I heard you’re pretty good at it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Akaashi looked up through his eyelashes, ceasing Bokuto’s heart. “Long story. Are you sure you want to hear it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto nodded enthusiastically, pushing the papers away, “Yes!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Akaashi put his pencil down and turned to face him more fully. “I met Haku-san in vocal lessons. And that’s… Where our parents met, as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Normally my mom would bring me and pick me up, because my dad is almost always busy. The amount of time he spent with us today was a bit unheard of. But there was one time when he </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>to pick me up, and then after that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>picked me up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Then he had an affair for… </span>
  <em>
    <span>years, </span>
  </em>
  <span>actually. You know, before the divorce. Haku-san and I used to actually be pretty good friends before we became aware of what was happening. It’s fair to say that everything pushed us apart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You stopped singing because you feel responsible?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi averted his gaze and nodded meekly to his notes. Bokuto sighed and put a hand on his shoulder, successfully drawing his attention back up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It isn’t your fault!” Bokuto smiled. “What will it take to make you sing again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just don’t want to, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d really like to hear it, though!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi smiled faintly as he reclaimed his pencil, “I’ll tell you what. I’ll sing for you if you get at least a seventy on your math exam.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Really?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto beamed and pulled his notes back, inspired once again to study. After about another hour and several completed worksheets later, Bokuto peeked up at Akaashi. The setter sat with his fingers folded under his chin, staring blankly forward at the mattress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cocked his head at his setter when he didn’t get an answer. He waved his hand in front of his face, then actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>snapped </span>
  </em>
  <span>in front of his eyes. Akaashi finally came back to earth and blinked at Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s face went slowly red as he stared at Bokuto. The spiker slowly sat back at the unrecognizable look in his eye. The distance was short lived as the setter reached out and dragged him into a tight hug. Bokuto gasped, but quickly returned the gesture, overwhelmed by his scent and warmth. He pressed his cheek into the side of Akaashi’s head as he held him. His prayers were </span>
  <em>
    <span>answered.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for coming out here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi fisted his hands into the back of Bokuto’s shirt before letting go and unattaching himself. He ran his hand through his hair before doubling down on the speed of how he wrote notes. Bokuto stared hard at him, and Akaashi’s face turned redder with every passing second. He glanced up and caught the spiker’s eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s breath caught at the energy. Akaashi put his pencil back down as Bokuto reached out and put his hand on his shoulder again. Akaashi was easily drawn in by his eyes, leaning closer. By the time he felt Bokuto’s breath against his cheek, he panicked. He quickly turned and stood, facing away from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, so, it’s late. I think we’re good to stop working now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi kept himself turned from the disappointment in his voice. So, Bokuto </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>like him. Or at the very least, he was attracted to him. That was </span>
  <em>
    <span>a lot.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to go shower,” Akaashi said, moving to the bathroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto watched him go, “Yeah, alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker frowned at the notes they’d made before exhaling harshly. Despite his </span>
  <em>
    <span>absolute </span>
  </em>
  <span>knowledge that he would wind up with Akaashi, he was still frustrated. They’d be together anyway, why did the setter have to drag it out so much? He took the opportunity to stand and change into sweatpants and a t-shirt before packing up their books and replacing them in Akaashi’s bag. The setter kept both of their things, knowing that Bokuto would never open a book unprompted. He took out his brush and forced his hair down with several large motions as he looked around the room. The sound of the shower filled the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He moved back to the closet that Akaashi kept his stuff in, finding it was still unlocked. Why did he lock it at all? He looked over the shelves at the books, unsurprised to find some were in different languages. Akaashi was amazing and it’d be nothing less than insulting to be continuously surprised by that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He found a postcard in the back of the closet, taped to the wall. It was from France, and on the back it simply read </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘the best day of my life.’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto smiled and wondered what happened on the best day of his life, and how he could top that every day for the rest of time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wandered back into the bedroom and put his brush back just as Akaashi came back out. He kept his eyes forward as his friend dressed, then went to brush his teeth. Akaashi clearly already did so before re-emerging. Bokuto sighed and looked at himself in the mirror. Why did Akaashi reject him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He spat his toothpaste before rinsing both his brush and mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He went back out to the room, where Akaashi’s eyes immediately landed on him, “Hey, where am I sleeping?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, since Haku-san is here, you’ll have to sleep in here. If it’d make you more comfortable, I can bunk with hi—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, that’s fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laid down and stretched his limbs out as he yawned loudly. Akaashi stared at him before snorting and moving to turn the light out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have no manners.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed, “And you have no respect for your upperclassmen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker moved over slightly as Akaashi climbed in beside him, “I do so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nuh uh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh huh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto smiled and turned to look at him as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. Akaashi was already curled into the blankets, staring back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You—“ Bokuto was cut off by Akaashi shoving a pillow in his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed and threw it back at him, “See?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go to sleep, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, fine,” Bokuto pulled the blanket over himself as well, suddenly giddy again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe they didn’t kiss, but they were still sharing a blanket in the same bed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Akaashi’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>bed. He was so lucky. To think just that morning he was kicked out of the gym, entirely dejected. He shut his eyes with a smile on his face that only grew as he felt Akaashi slowly shift and claim his hand in his own. He didn’t open his eyes, but he did weave their fingers together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Akaashi. Did you have a good birthday?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All things considered, I think so.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>They ran over to their coach after he called a time out. They were in their fourth game at Nationals and they were not doing </span>
  <em>
    <span>great. </span>
  </em>
  <span>They were tired, stressed and put out by the other team. Bokuto was on his bullshit, hitting into the net and out of bounds, absolutely off his rocker. Akaashi wiped at his face with a towel as he eyed him from his peripheral. He wasn't even </span>
  <em>
    <span>trying </span>
  </em>
  <span>to clean his sweat off his face or drink water. He was simply staring at the opponent with hate in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto!” Their coach shouted, getting his attention. “You need to pull yourself together!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glared at him, “They keep shutting me out! What do you want me to do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi shook his head and pulled his water bottle from his lips, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Calm down.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His teammates looked at him in shock at his even tone. All of their nerves were so frazzled, only aggravated by Bokuto’s immature behaviour.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Calm down. You’ve been working your line shots nonstop since I’ve met you. Why aren’t you using them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Bokuto frowned. “I just don’t think they’re ready yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course they are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>not, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared into his glare and shrugged, “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded as he took another drink from his bottle, “Yeah. Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” their coach clapped. “Akaashi, you’re doing great. Keep your head clear and remember to utilize all of our players out there. Konoha is out there. He has your back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, get back out there and don’t let these guys take you out for a second year in a row.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They shouted their acknowledgment and returned to the court as their timeout ended. The other team served and Washio got it back up. Akaashi took in a deep breath. If they let that point drop, they had to go home— and he had no intentions of doing that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watched the ball as it flew over to him and considered what to do. If he tossed to Bokuto, the odds of them losing were admittedly high. However, if he passed backwards to Konoha, odds were he’d at least get it back over. They just needed to take the set. If they took the set, there could be another. Another shot to make it work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ball fell into his fingers and he sent it backwards, watching as Bokuto fully expected it, swinging at nothing. The ace’s eyes locked onto Akaashi as the ball fell backwards and into Konoha’s palm. The setter sighed and turned to watch the play.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Konoha did get it over, but the other team got it back up. Akaashi waited, watching Washio, Bokuto and Konoha triple block the opposing spiker. He breath hitched as the spiker went for a cross shot, cutting across their blockers. He had no choice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ran under it, passing it back to the best of his ability, “Konoha!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His teammate nodded, panicked, and got under it, setting the ball right back to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Why the hell?’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi outraged mentally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ran as fast as he could, spiking the ball directly into a blocker’s palm. The ball slammed back down behind him, but Komi had his back. He scrambled to get back up to get under the pass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Send it to </span>
  <em>
    <span>me </span>
  </em>
  <span>this time,” Bokuto yelled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi took in his surroundings as time slowed. The blockers were all over him already. They had one stuck to Konoha, too. If Bokuto went for a line shot, he’d have a chance— but he was very vocal in refusing the idea. Konoha could </span>
  <em>
    <span>probably </span>
  </em>
  <span>get it over. But there was another choice. He was unmarked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He jumped as if in slow motion to meet the ball. His eyes raked over his teammates, all running and in some cases jumping. Then, he took in the opposing team, as they officially discounted him as a contender. Perfect.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kept his body language unreadable and stared directly at Bokuto as he knocked the ball over the net, willing it to hit the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His feet hit the ground as the point was called and his teammates flooded him. He looked up and met Bokuto’s reluctant eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why aren’t you tossing to me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because you can’t get a point in. I’ll toss to you when you’re ready to do a line shot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glared at him, “What the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell? </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’m your </span>
  <em>
    <span>ace. Set to me.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glared right back, “Benefit the team.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>serious?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto laughed. “This team </span>
  <em>
    <span>needs </span>
  </em>
  <span>me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of their teammates shifted uncomfortably as Akaashi slowly stalked up to Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was the point of all that training if you won’t use it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever man, don’t pass to me, then. Don’t talk to me, either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi was used to him by that point. Normally, he was good at dealing with him, too. That game was draining him, though. His usual tactics of passive agreeability weren’t working, so he needed to try something new. Hopefully it worked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They took the fourth set, tying them back up </span>
  <em>
    <span>without </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto’s contribution. Akaashi studied him as they started their fifth and final set. It was do or die, and Bokuto seemed to be getting restless again. Finally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Halfway through the set, Bokuto reached his boiling point. Akaashi watched and waited as the ball fell into his fingers, already sending it his way by the time he called for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Akaashi!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter easily fell into disappointment as the ace went for a cross shot and didn’t get stuffed, but the ball was received and sent back over. Akaashi shuffled back and prepared to continue on, debating what to do with Bokuto. He didn’t think he could recover from shutting the ace out </span>
  <em>
    <span>twice </span>
  </em>
  <span>within one game.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Though, that was one of Bokuto’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>strengths. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He hardly wavered in front of strong opponents. If he was wavering so harshly, then, really… How could they lose?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter’s sharp eyes took in the conditions of the court as they sat at game point. They went far over fifteen points, nearing thirty. They were exhausted. The other team transitioned into read blocking, making it much harder to sneak shots in on them. There was really only one option— their hitter that could break through walls, rather than get around them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto caught his eye as he sent the ball his way, and Akaashi’s eyes grew as time once again slowed. Three blockers ran to stop Bokuto. He had nowhere to go, but that didn’t matter much. The setter watched the owl take flight. The way he took his establishing steps, his shins flexing and relaxing as his feet left the floor. The broadness of his shoulders and the way his uniform stretched across his chest and loosened around his back. He got great height. His form was perfect. He was so </span>
  <em>
    <span>big, </span>
  </em>
  <span>both physically and in attitude.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His arm retracted and Akaashi audibly </span>
  <em>
    <span>gasped </span>
  </em>
  <span>as Bokuto did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>spike through them, between them, or across them. No, he went for the tight space between the outermost spiker’s arm and the antenna. The ball threaded the needle and slammed exactly on the white line.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was so sharp. It was everything he worked for. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>incredible.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared on as the point was called and everyone watched the ball bounce back up then roll away. Bokuto stared on, as well. Then, he clenched his hands into fists and threw his head back as he yelled.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, hey, hey! THAT’S a line shot, baby!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto jumped up and down and turned, “Hey, Akaashi! Did you s—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi cut him off with a large hug. His teammates weren’t far behind him. They all dog piled their ace as they screamed their celebration. Akaashi’s chest </span>
  <em>
    <span>burned </span>
  </em>
  <span>with his excitement and pride. Bokuto gripped him tightly around the waist, crushing him into his chest, but he was far too happy to care about something as trivial as breathing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so great!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi!” Bokuto held him at arms length, absolutely glowing, “You just </span>
  <em>
    <span>complimented </span>
  </em>
  <span>me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed giddily and grabbed his face, pulling him back into a hug, “Because you’re so incredible that it’s stupid!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto pulled him in closer, wrapping his arms tightly around his setter, “You’re great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart ached harder as Akaashi ran his hands flat over the back of his uniform and heat ripped through him as Akaashi whispered in his ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so proud of you, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto didn’t know what to say, in fact, he didn’t know any words at all at that moment. He simply squeezed Akaashi tighter before releasing him, already missing his touch as his hands left his body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He accepted the congratulations of the rest of his team, but couldn’t fully invest himself in the interactions. He merely kept his eyes on Akaashi, wanting to take in every moment of his genuine happiness. His eyes followed him around as he hugged others and shouted with them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t help but notice he didn’t run his hands down anyone else’s backs. He didn’t whisper to anyone else. Bokuto smiled to himself and finally looked away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto closed his front door harshly. They lost in the semifinals. What a </span>
  <em>
    <span>piss off. </span>
  </em>
  <span>They got so far! For what? He barreled up the stairs, feet falling heavily and thumping loudly the entire way. Two years in a row. He only had one shot left. Would they win with his last chance?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He threw his bags down on his floor and crawled into his bed and stared at the ceiling. He wanted to win Nationals. He wanted to win Nationals with </span>
  <em>
    <span>Akaashi. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He wanted to see his face when his setter— his friend realized they truly were the best. All of them. Both of them. Together. He smiled broadly as he pictured the beautiful boy celebrating and </span>
  <em>
    <span>smiling </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>laughing </span>
  </em>
  <span>and—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He furrowed his brow and placed his hand over his heart as its pace quickened at the visual. He slid his fingers over his palms as they became damp. He sat up as he noticed he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>smiling </span>
  </em>
  <span>even though they </span>
  <em>
    <span>lost.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘What the hell?’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>He thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked down at his palms as he pictured his straight in the last game before they lost. The line shot. His winning point. He recalled the rush he felt as Akaashi literally jumped into his arms. His cheeks burned with the force of his smile and his throat burned from the laugh he suppressed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Volleyball… Is </span>
  <em>
    <span>fun.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He relived the moment twenty more times in his head. The way the ball stung his palm. The look on the blockers’ faces as they stared </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupidly </span>
  </em>
  <span>at the wild, sharp accuracy of his shot. The way Akaashi’s eyes crinkled as he ran to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Volleyball is fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He clenched his hands into fists and stared down at the way the stress made his veins stick out. He smiled broadly, tears nearly pushing into his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I’ll be there when you realize how fun volleyball is. I promise.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s words swirled around in Bokuto’s brain. Along with his words came his scent and his touch. The way his skin feels. The additional rush of knowing Akaashi was watching him as he played. But he wasn’t only watching. He was playing, too. They were a team. Akaashi relied on him and he relied on Akaashi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He fell back onto his bed and covered his eyes with his fists as he smiled. His entire body thrummed with excitement. The tips of his fingers went numb as he thought about all the work they did leading up to that line shot. What a </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad ass </span>
  </em>
  <span>moment. He really did that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kōtarō?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He threw his arms out to his sides and sat up a touch as he looked to his mother who peeked inside the room. Her face was concerned, knowing how her son got after losing Nationals. Her concern only deepened at his broad and genuine smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay, honey?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto pulled himself up and scrambled onto his knees, throwing his hands out as he beamed largely, “I think I’m in love!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes widened as she stepped back a touch before smiling and pushing the door fully open. She moved in and sat next to him on the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto followed her by rotating his entire body as she joined him on the bed. He put his hands on his knees, his smile never falling and his cheeks staying bright pink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes! Oh, my god. I’m so happy, mom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She laughed and leaned back on her hands, “Tell me about him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gaped at her, “You know it’s a him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I do! Akaashi Keiji.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto fell back onto his butt and spread his legs out over the bed and leaned on his arms as he stared at her in shock. She covered her mouth as she laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, Kōtarō, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>stop talking about him! But you only tell me about things he’s done at practice or in games. What’s he really like?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto smiled impossibly wider, “It doesn’t matter that he’s a boy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course it doesn’t!” She slapped his arm. “Anyone who makes you this happy is good enough for me. Penis or no penis.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto scrunched his face up before shaking his head and laughing, “Okay! He’s the </span>
  <em>
    <span>coolest, smartest, most talented </span>
  </em>
  <span>person I’ve ever met! He does </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything, </span>
  </em>
  <span>mom! Violin, volleyball, school, everything. He’s the most amazing person. Oh, my god. He— Like, okay! So, we went skating because he’s good at </span>
  <em>
    <span>that, </span>
  </em>
  <span>too! For his birthday, and—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother laughed hard and held out her hands, “Breathe, baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto took in a deep breath, “Right, right, right. Okay, so, you know how volleyball isn’t that fun?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” She frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We went skating and he said </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘I’ll be there when you realize how fun volleyball is. I promise’,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he held his hands out, beaming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She eyed him up expectantly, “Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t that </span>
  <em>
    <span>badass?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right? Ugh, he has no right being so </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was that the end of the story?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no! Okay, you watched the game, right? The one before the one we… </span>
  <em>
    <span>lost,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he crossed his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Watched </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>recorded so we can watch it again!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto took her hand, “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, too!” She squeezed his hand back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“During that game I actually used a line shot! That’s what I’ve been practicing so hard. But… Seeing their </span>
  <em>
    <span>faces </span>
  </em>
  <span>when I snuck right by them— I. It was the most </span>
  <em>
    <span>incredible </span>
  </em>
  <span>feeling. Getting us that win. It was such a hard game! And I don’t know if you remember—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You lost to them last year?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He leaned heavily forward onto his hands with wide eyes, “Yes! But we didn’t this year! Because we worked really hard and </span>
  <em>
    <span>beat them!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She beamed right back at him, “It was amazing!”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know! </span>
  </em>
  <span>But it wasn’t just me! He— </span>
  <em>
    <span>Akaashi </span>
  </em>
  <span>is amazing, too! If his set had been a little off, had he not </span>
  <em>
    <span>trusted </span>
  </em>
  <span>me—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You two work very well together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love him so much,” Bokuto whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t say for sure that he loves you, too, but—“ She smiled at his surprised expression. “I think he likes you. too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know that? Details! </span>
  <em>
    <span>Details, mother!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother laughed hard as she stood and gestured for him to follow, “Come see!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He furrowed his brow as he stood and followed her back down to the living room. He hesitantly sat beside her on the couch as she turned the television on and worked her way through menus, pulling the game up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He leaned forward, eating it up as she fast forwarded through nearly the entire thing. She paused it right before his line shot and smiled over to him, gesturing to the screen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t watch yourself. Watch him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded, brow still deeply furrowed before looking back to the game as she played it. He leaned forward as the ball landed in Akaashi’s hands and he sent it over to TV Bokuto. He didn’t follow the ball with his eyes, though. He kept them on his setter. His eyes widened as Akaashi’s hands slowly fell as he watched him spike. The look on his face was simply indescribable, but also undeniable. Even through the camera— even through the television screen, Bokuto could swear he saw his silhouette in Akaashi’s eyes as he stared up. Under his silhouette was a whole slew of emotions that Bokuto was unable to name, but made him weak in the knees.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stood and walked to the television, leaning into it. He crouched and used his hand on the stand to steady himself. The camera cut away from Akaashi and to the spike itself, which was </span>
  <em>
    <span>totally </span>
  </em>
  <span>kickass. The flags went down, the whistle blew and TV Bokuto still crouched watching the ball. The camera showed Akaashi staring at him, still. Real Bokuto leaned back a touch as Akaashi’s face crumbled before breaking into a smile as he yelled and started running over to the ace. TV Bokuto stood and turned and started saying something when he was engulfed by Akaashi, then the rest of his team. Real Bokuto’s heart pulled hard as he watched them together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed silent as the boys held each other for a long moment before Akaashi went to congratulate the rest of the team, and Bokuto finally took his eyes off of him. The moment he turned away, Akaashi stared after him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto put his hand over him on the screen as his face wasn’t happy at all. It was longing. Akaashi leaned forward and backward around the people to keep his eyes on Bokuto before the game cut to commercial.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother paused the recording, but Bokuto didn’t move. He remained crouched before the television with his hand on the screen. His mother slowly stood and crouched next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced at her, “I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She laughed lightly and took his hand from the screen, holding it between both of hers, “Why don’t you just ask him out? Anyone who looks at you like that has my approval.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head before standing, dragging her up, “When I stayed in Toyosu with him… We almost kissed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s great!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he dropped her hand. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Almost </span>
  </em>
  <span>kissed. He rejected me at the last second. See, before that… I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>certain </span>
  </em>
  <span>he felt the same.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She frowned after him, “There’s no denying that look in his eye. Did he say why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shook his head again, “No. I have </span>
  <em>
    <span>no </span>
  </em>
  <span>idea at all. It’s so frustrating!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed silent for a moment while Bokuto dragged his hands down his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like, I know he doesn’t owe me anything, but… An explanation would be nice. I just want to know why he’s ignoring what we clearly have! Why doesn’t he see we’re supposed to be together?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure, Kōtarō. There has to be a good answer. He seems like a sharp kid. But, maybe if you keep being a good friend to him he’ll explain eventually. He may be confused.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s probably his dad,” Bokuto realized. “He’s a real bastard. He doesn’t even know Akaashi’s gay! He got really mad at him, like, a </span>
  <em>
    <span>million </span>
  </em>
  <span>times while I was there. It was really uncomfortable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto turned back, suddenly excited again, “I should call him!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” she smiled weakly. “But, maybe wait and make sure that’s really the best decision.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course it is!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” she breathed. “Don’t pressure him, Kōtarō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d never!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She folded her arms and smiled after his as he took off up the stairs again. He got to his room and dug his phone out of his bag before dialing Akaashi. The setter picked up on the seventh ring, just as he was about to give up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi!”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whoa, dude, you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah. What do you want?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto frowned and glanced down at his phone before pressing it to his ear again, “What are you doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, did you want to study?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Can’t you study by yourself?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean… I </span>
  <em>
    <span>could.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay. Goodbye.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He frowned even deeper as the dial tone assaulted his ear. He stared down at his phone feeling confused, frustrated and honestly, a little angry. What the hell was his issue? Why couldn’t he just… Accept the situation? He sighed and looked down at his tracksuit. He was already dressed for it, so he decided to go for a run to clear his head. If he ran far enough, he could probably outrun his thoughts of Akaashi. Even if it was just for the night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi quietly clicked the door shut when he returned home. He sighed and pressed his hands into the cold surface before turning. He jumped and clutched his heart as his mother stood in the doorway to the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Keiji! How’d it go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was alright, thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He moved past her, clutching his bag tightly and started going up the stairs. Akaashi glanced backwards as he sensed her following him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is something wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just feel like we don’t talk anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He frowned as he got to the top of the stairs and turned to fully face her. She stood some steps down with one foot on the stair above. She held onto the banister and leaned against the wall, staring at him sadly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry you feel that way. Would you like to talk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled faintly and nodded. He turned back and made his way to his room, placing his bag gently by his bed. He remained standing with his hands behind his back as she sat on his bed, staring down at his socked feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know things have been… different since,” she cleared her throat. “Everything happened. I just don’t want us to keep growing apart. You know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded, “I understand. I apologize for being so withdrawn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shook her head before looking up at him, “You sound so diplomatic. You can actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>talk </span>
  </em>
  <span>to me, Keiji. It isn’t a debate or a calculated conversation. I just want us to be honest with each other here. No apologies, either. Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He frowned deeply, “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She picked at the edge of his duvet, staring down at it, “I’m… just going to come right out and ask.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he breathed, trying to get his heart rate under control. He had no idea what was coming, but his body told him it would be bad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you dating your friend Kōtarō?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stared into her eyes as she looked back up, feeling his stomach sink. His face was probably very red, or maybe just completely white. His legs went numb while the rest of him went cold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can tell me, baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sighed, “I saw that game, Keiji. I saw… the way you looked at each other. It’s okay, if… You know. You are. I’ve always known that you like boys.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>what?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She laughed lightly, “Yeah. I’ve always known about you. Your dad has, too. But…” She sighed. “We have differing opinions as I’m sure you’re aware by now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded stiffly, “Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it’s great, personally. There’s no risk of unwanted pregnancies, and if it’s who you </span>
  <em>
    <span>truly </span>
  </em>
  <span>are then all I want is to see you happy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice cracked as he felt he’d only eaten sand for his entire life, “Yeah. Um, thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” she said meekly. “And I know I said no apologies, but, I have to. I’m sorry if you’ve felt you can’t be yourself. And I’m sorry for taking this moment from you. It’s just that I’ve been waiting for a long time for you to come to me and it just hasn’t been happening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s okay,” he cleared his throat, pulling on his fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” she coughed. “Are you dating Kōtarō?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled harder on his fingers, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m not dating Bokuto-san.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She still didn’t look at him as she picked at the duvet, “It’s just… Your father called.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi took a weary step back, feeling the panic grow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He insists that something is happening there. Which is </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine, </span>
  </em>
  <span>truly. It really is. I just wish you wouldn’t lie to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m not lying.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She finally looked up and sighed, “You can tell me, Keiji. Please, I just want to be here for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re seriously going to believe </span>
  <em>
    <span>him </span>
  </em>
  <span>over me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It isn’t that. He just had some valid po—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe this,” Akaashi frowned deeper. “You’re really going to take </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>side? Don’t you remember what he did to us—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She held a hand up to him and spoke gently, “Keiji, I’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>taking his side. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I just want to be here for you and for some reason you’re not tru—“</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“For the last time, I am not dating Bokuto Kōtarō!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She raised both hands in surrender, looking away from his red face, “You two just spend a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot </span>
  </em>
  <span>of time together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>studying </span>
  </em>
  <span>so he can stay on the team! Playing without Bokuto-san sucks. Okay, it doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>suck, </span>
  </em>
  <span>but it’s way better </span>
  <em>
    <span>with </span>
  </em>
  <span>him because we can do a lot more stuff!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I’m—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And volleyball is the </span>
  <em>
    <span>one </span>
  </em>
  <span>thing that I </span>
  <em>
    <span>like </span>
  </em>
  <span>doing. My whole life I’ve been </span>
  <em>
    <span>pushed </span>
  </em>
  <span>into things I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>to do. And I know why! I know you guys just want me to be successful and have a full resume and all of that! You’re trying your best and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know that, </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’m just so—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let out a shaky exhale and met her eye, daring himself to finish his sentence. Her expression was open, giving him permission to speak freely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just so </span>
  <em>
    <span>empty. </span>
  </em>
  <span>And </span>
  <em>
    <span>sad. </span>
  </em>
  <span>All the time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sat up and took his hand. He stared down at their linked hands and sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Keiji. How can I help you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t make me go back there anymore. Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Back where? Toyosu?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded weakly, “I… Can I be completely honest?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded, frowning with concern prominently displayed in her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san nearly kissed me while we were there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She squeezed his hand, “Is that a good thing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi slowly shook his head, “I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed quiet for a minute, neither knowing how to proceed. Akaashi sighed and sat heavily beside her, breaking their hands apart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I really like him. A lot. It took a long time to accept that, but… I can’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s stopping you? He clearly likes you back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It isn’t that. I— I know I’m young, so this will sound really stupid—“</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>she frowned. “Your emotions are still valid even if you are young. Don’t invalidate yourself, Keiji.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared at her in surprise before he finally felt a small amount of tension leave his body, “Right. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded and stared down at his feet, “He makes me feel good. Especially when he’s feeling good. He’s just… He has a nice energy to be around. It feels like when we’re together there isn’t a challenge we can’t overcome. It’s probably just his overzealous attitude, but it’s still nice. Especially because I’ve felt so powerless in my own life for… a long time now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why have you felt so powerless?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced at her before picking at his cuticles, “I’m not ready to talk about that yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay,” she patted his knee. “So, it sounds like he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>good </span>
  </em>
  <span>for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, he is. He makes me feel like how I felt before everything happened. It’s really nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then, why are you unsure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because,” he knocked his feet together, “I wouldn’t be good for him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does that mean? Anyone would be lucky to have you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He bit his cheek, “I wouldn’t know how to love someone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She furrowed her brow and leaned forward to look at him, “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged, the tension coming back double fold, “I’d never fully trust him. Not after… What </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>did to us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed lightly, “Daddy issues.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so so—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t apologize. It wasn’t your fault. Not even a little. Please don’t ever apologize for </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>mistakes,” he snapped his head up and she sat back a bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your my child and it’s my re—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, mom. He needs to apologize. Over and over again. Until his voice runs out. I— I hate him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother’s eyes widened, “You don’t mean that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I really do, though. What he did was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>despicable. Vile. I don’t ever want to see him again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keiji, he’s still your father.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care,” he said to his hands. “When I go there I want to die. And I’m not exaggerating.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>She breathed. “What happens there that’s so bad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>bad,” his voice cracked. “They kicked Chihaku out because he wouldn’t bend to their every beck and whim. Kazuki calls me a faggot at every turn. Then when I used to get upset, I’d have to apologize to him. He’d fake cry and no one ever believes me. No one ever listens to me. I’m only there as a token to impress their </span>
  <em>
    <span>rich </span>
  </em>
  <span>friends with my achievements that don’t even make me proud because I just feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>shame </span>
  </em>
  <span>when I see them. When I’m there I just… Want to stop existing because it hurts too much to be there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why didn’t yo—“</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“And,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>tears pushed at his eyes. “Then Bokuto-san came out. I only asked him because the opportunity came up. I thought maybe if he came out there then maybe it’d feel less bad. Maybe that feeling he gave me of being </span>
  <em>
    <span>myself </span>
  </em>
  <span>would help mask the terribleness. But Toyosu just dragged him down too. He tried so hard to stay positive and be good. He defended me even to Tomiko. She tries to get me to call her </span>
  <em>
    <span>mom. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I— I can’t go there anymore. Please don’t make me go there anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears rolled down both of their cheeks as she stared at him and he glared down at the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to date a girl. But I can’t date boys. If I </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever </span>
  </em>
  <span>brought a boy to Toyosu… I don’t even know what he’d do. He got so mad at me because I was helping Bokuto-san skate. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That’s all. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I just… What am I supposed to do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keiji…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, no. I can’t be with Bokuto. I can’t even be around him. Because when I’m around him I just want to be around him more. And the more I'm around him, the more likely it is something will happen. And nothing can happen,” he turned borderline hysterical. “It doesn't matter how much I like him or how much </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>likes </span>
  <em>
    <span>me.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course it matters.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It does, Keiji.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed angrily and stood, “Whatever. I’m going for a run. I can’t… Sit still anymore right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” she frowned further. “Come home soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, okay,” he said, taking his phone with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took off down the stairs, pulled his shoes on and fled out the door. That was more than he shared with anyone in years. It was supposed to feel cathartic, so why did he feel so </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it was knowing that no matter what he did, he was doomed to a life of singleness. No one would satisfy his father unless they were female, and females just weren’t his type. He breathed heavily as he made his way up a hill.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His phone buzzed harshly in his pocket, so he slowed and pulled it out.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Bokuto Kōtarō’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Who else? He stared at it, his nerves and brain freezing. He couldn’t complete a thought fully enough to perform an action. His thumb hovered over accept before moving to decline, then back again. He finally pressed the green button and held the phone to his ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Akaashi!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of Bokuto’s voice immediately soothed Akaashi’s soul, but then </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> made him panic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” He snapped in his rough-from-crying voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Whoa, dude, you okay?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. What do you want?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto paused for a moment, causing guilt to flare in Akaashi’s chest, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“What are you doing?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Um, did you want to study?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Yes,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought, but he really said, “Can’t you study by yourself?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s new pause made Akaashi cringe, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I mean… I </span>
  </em>
  <span>could.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Goodbye.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hung up quickly and frowned down at his phone, feeling like a shit person. He just couldn’t be around him. It was getting too hard. Especially after that conversation with his mother, it was way too hard. He started back at his jog after shoving his phone into his pocket again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He just wanted to be himself and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>could </span>
  </em>
  <span>be himself with Bokuto. The spiker always made that much clear. Akaashi thought back to his birthday. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Because you just admitted out loud about who you are! What could be better?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘If my father accepted me, maybe?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, his brain went back even further, to the first time he saw Bokuto. Standing up in the stands as he played down on the court. The absolute perfection of his cross shots. The absolute perfection of his line shots, more recently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wished he could be with him. In that moment and in all the moments. Unfortunately, that simply wasn’t the reality he was living. He wasn’t sure how practice could work with them being together </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>often. Maybe if he stopped meeting with him during lunch… Refused to study with him, maybe. If he didn’t study with Bokuto, though, he’d likely be removed from the team altogether—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi ran into a large obstacle quite literally. He fell back onto the sidewalk and rubbed at his back. He kept his eyes shut against the pain in his body when someone spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, sor— </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s eyes rushed open and was met with the </span>
  <em>
    <span>beautiful </span>
  </em>
  <span>sight of Bokuto’s bright eyes. The ace quickly knelt down in front of him and fussed over his fall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay? Are you hurt? If you’re hurt you </span>
  <em>
    <span>need </span>
  </em>
  <span>to tell me. If you can’t play because of me— You need to </span>
  <em>
    <span>watch where you’re at going, dude.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi watched him examine him, pulling his arms out to check his elbows and felt laughter bubble up through his chest. Bokuto’s head snapped up and he furrowed his brow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s so funny?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, Bokuto-san. I’m sorry for running into you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s concern and confusion melted into a smile as he stood and extended a hand down to him. Akaashi stared at it for a moment before accepting it and standing. They started jogging together again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, why’d you sound so pissy on the phone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced at him, “Guess I’m just in a pissy mood.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it ‘cause we lost? Because we won’t lose next time!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it isn’t that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto looked over at him, “Why, then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had a tough conversation with my mom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. He held his breath until Bokuto spoke again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds hard. Want to talk about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They continued on in silence as the sun settled over the horizon, sending long strips of gold down over the street from between the houses. Akaashi glanced up at Bokuto and his breath hitched as he passed through a pool of light, the gold lighting his irises, enhancing their aurelian hue. The tips of his hair became translucent and his skin warmed considerably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” Bokuto shouted, noticing something up ahead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looked at the small park, “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go there!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shrugged, “Live a little, Akaashi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter watched him run ahead before shrugging and catching up. Bokuto jumped onto a roundabout. Akaashi smiled and slowed to a walk as his feet hit the sand. Bokuto jumped over the metal handle and tottered over the shifting metal to stand in front of Akaashi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get on!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Akaashi laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Bokuto smiled, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him on. “Have some fun!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi moved to get off, “This </span>
  <em>
    <span>isn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>fun, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he could get down, Bokuto shifted one foot down and spun them around. Akaashi stumbled and gripped to the railing tightly, lowering his center of gravity so he wouldn’t fall. Bokuto didn’t stop until they moved at a dizzying pace. When he was done spinning them he crouched on the other side of the railing from Akaashi and smiled at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi couldn’t help but smile back as they spun. He shifted his foot a bit underneath of himself and lost his balance, quickly readjusting his grip on the handle. His last three fingers fell over Bokuto’s but he was too busy cringing at the sand in his knees to pay any attention. The cold metal stung even through his pants.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed loudly as they spun and Akaashi had to forget about the sand due to the joyful noise. He looked back to the spiker, who laughed so hard his eyes shut and crinkled at the edges. He then looked down to their overlapped fingers and felt his smile dampen a touch, but made no move to remove them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The roundabout slowed until it stopped, creaking lowly as it went. Bokuto stared at Akaashi with a smile, unmoving and unblinking. Akaashi stared right back, feeling the pull of his gaze. Just as he was about to move his hand from Bokuto’s and place it on his cheek, the spiker laughed and stood, shifting the roundabout as he went.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi fell backwards as Bokuto jumped off and shifted the metal disc under him. He quickly stood and followed after him, more than thankful to be off of the death trap. He had to run to catch up, and then fell into a jog beside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are we going, Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who knows?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then why are we running?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because then we’ll get there faster!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed, “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto cut through a small wooded area and Akaashi faltered and frowned before following him in. Plants and twigs scratched and poked at his ankles, but he paid no mind. He was more focused on keeping up with Bokuto. He always was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He jumped over fallen trees and suspicious plants, not wanting to break an ankle or get a rash. He was so focused on watching his feet that he didn’t notice Bokuto had stopped just on the other side of the woods, causing him to run into him again. Bokuto laughed and caught him easily before he fell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saw </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>coming,” he teased. “I thought I told you to look at where you’re going.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed, “My bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto kept his grip on Akaashi’s upper arm as he dragged him forward, “C’mon!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other side of the woods showed a commercial area. Akaashi furrowed his brow at the lights and people and the smell of food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nishiaoki.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No way, what? How?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t ask me, man. You were the one in </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>neighborhood.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looked around, “Your parents must be pretty rich.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed before squinting down at him, “Says </span>
  <em>
    <span>you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter blushed and looked back up to the lights, “What are we doing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ask way too many questions! I told ya, I have no idea!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto walked forward before realizing something, “Oh, my god! I know!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi gasped as Bokuto dropped his grip from his arm to his wrist and took off at a run. Pedestrians either paid no mind or glared after them as they tore by. The sun was nearly entirely gone and the air was turning cold. Akaashi shook his hand free as Bokuto’s grip became uncomfortable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker glanced back at him, but looked forward with a smile as Akaashi laced their fingers together. They ran across streets, weaving through traffic, avoiding bikers and jumping out of the way of pedestrians. They ignored all the people who shouted and shook their heads at them. Akaashi’s chest burned with laughter and he felt as light as the wind that rushed through his hair. He stared up at Bokuto as they ran, the setter only a step behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto finally slowed to a stop in front of a small shop. Akaashi nearly ran into him once again, unprepared to stop his momentum. He breathed heavily trying to recover a regular rhythm in his lungs. The smell of baked goods surrounded him, caressing his skin and calling him forward. He peeked up through his eyelashes and saw a bakery.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What… Are we doing… Here?” He panted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed and tugged on his hand, “Why are you still asking?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed with him, “Fair enough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They entered the store and their hands fell apart as they both moved to different areas. Akaashi examined various intricate desserts in the display case when Bokuto knocked him with his elbow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked up and saw Bokuto standing with two taiyaki. He held one out to Akaashi with a smile. The setter slowly reached out and took it from him, the warmth of the pastry radiating from under its cardboard covering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Happy late birthday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi frowned, “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto smiled larger and knocked elbows with him before leading them back out to the street, “You didn’t eat your cake on your birthday. I meant to bring you something sooner, but we got so busy with practice and studying that I forgot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really didn’t need to do that, Bokuto-san. But… Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shrugged and looked around at the people illuminated by the street lamps and neon signs on the shops. They walked through the chatter and vague music from various places as they ate their snacks. Akaashi looked up at him and leaned forward to see the way the neon reflected in his eyes. Bokuto noticed him staring and smiled again before moving his snack to his other hand and reaching out to take Akaashi in by the waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi frowned at the warm touch through his thin t-shirt. The warmth was appreciated as he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>getting colder as the night grew darker, but at the same time he was failing </span>
  <em>
    <span>miserably </span>
  </em>
  <span>at his goal to distance himself from Bokuto. He sighed and looked at his pastry before taking a defeated bite out of it. Bokuto stared up at the thick blanket of navy above them with a smile as he pulled Akaashi closer to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are we going now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto snorted to the sky, “Akaashi—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked down and faltered as Akaashi stared up at him with a goofy grin. His own face contorted into a shit eating grin and he knocked their shoulders together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Smart ass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed as Bokuto went back to work on his snack, “So, you really live around here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Bokuto said. “Not too close to this street, but closer to the school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really? What do your parents do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto hummed, “My mom works from home. She’s an artist.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow! She must be pretty good. Does she paint?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, she’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>good. People pay her a lot to paint whatever it is they want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s impressive. What about your dad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto fiddled with his snack, “He’s a custodian but also works nights at a call centre.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He sounds very assiduous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Assiduous?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded, “Hard working.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah. He’s in school now, too. I’m really proud of him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds like a lot,” Akaashi looked up at him. “Is that why he isn’t home much?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm, yeah. He’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>busy. I wish I could help. I offered to get a job but they insisted I didn’t do that. They wanted me to focus on being a teenager,” Bokuto took another bite of his snack to defer from answering the next question too quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s very sweet of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto swallowed, “No, it’s just what I should do. They just don’t want me to ‘grow up too quickly’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi hummed and stared forward, feeling goosebumps crawl up his skin as the wind began chilling him to his bone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did your dad not go to college?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He didn’t finish high school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi leaned further into him, seeking warmth, “Why not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto frowned down at him and removed his arm. Akaashi pulled back as he backpedaled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry. That was so rude of me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, are you cold?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here, hold this,” Bokuto shoved his pastry into Akaashi’s hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He unzipped his jacket and shrugged it off his shoulders before taking his pastry back and holding the jacket out to his setter. Akaashi shook his head and pushed it back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Bokuto-san. Thank you, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re cold. Put it on,” he pushed it back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s my own fault for forgetting to wear my own. You’ll be cold if I wear it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m never cold. Put it on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi,” Bokuto laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi frowned before nodding stiffly and taking the jacket. He silently handed his ace his snack before sliding the jacket onto his arms. He zipped it up and reached to take the snack back. The jacket was huge on him. The weight of the excess fabric fascinated him as he reached out for his pastry. Bokuto was only about an inch taller than him, but he was so much more muscular. Akaashi turned forward as he felt his face flush. The fabric was already so warm from when Bokuto wore it, but it cooled quickly in the night air as it hung loosely around Akaashi’s frame. Bokuto made quick work of replacing his arm around Akaashi’s waist. The setter’s face flushed further as the spiker held him firmly against his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What were we talking about again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, you wanted to know why he never graduated.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi bit his lip as even </span>
  <em>
    <span>more </span>
  </em>
  <span>blood ran to his cheeks, “You really don’t need to answer. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t mind,” Bokuto cleared his throat as he discarded his empty cardboard casing into a garbage bin. “It’s, uh, because of me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, unplanned.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s breath hitched both due to the awkwardness and because Bokuto’s thumb pressed into his hip. He wasn’t sure what to say. He was rarely ever truly stumped for a response, but sometimes a response simply didn’t exist. Bokuto cleared his throat again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My mom was only fifteen when she got pregnant with me. She never finished school, either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stopped and leaned across Bokuto to throw his own casing out, “Wow. They seem to be very tenacious people.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what that word means, but I’m sure you’re right! My parents are the best.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They sound great, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m really close with my mom. I love her a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi settled into his side, eating up his warmth, “How are you so warm without a coat?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you, I’m never cold,” Bokuto laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi hummed as Bokuto rubbed his hand into his hip. They walked their way out of the neon signs and into sparse street lamps. Then, the lights stopped far behind them. Akaashi blinked up to the diamond studded velvet above them as they slowly made their way up a hill. The air smelled of dying winter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The season was uncharacteristically tame, with the snow already gone. The snow never really came that year at all. Akaashi looked for the moon, but couldn’t find it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘The world is on fire,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Literally and figuratively.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto let go of Akaashi and threw himself onto the yellow grass of the hill. The setter remained standing as they both stared up at the stars. Cars zipped down back in the bustling area of the neighborhood. The wind blew their hair back and stung their eyes. Akaashi inhaled the scent of oncoming spring— the promise of warmer times. He linked his fingers together behind his back as Bokuto laid with his hands behind his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nighttime makes me feel hopeless,” Bokuto laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why’s that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure. Just looking up out there, it almost doesn’t feel real.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure I understand, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure I understand, either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi hummed as the stars twinkled back at them. He slowly tore his eyes away and looked down at Bokuto, who simply smiled upward.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Always looking up,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat beside Bokuto and leaned back on his hands, rejoining him in staring up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just… Thinking about things, ya know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose you can do that now that you know what thinking actually is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed loudly, “Very funny.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looked down at him with a smile as he laughed. His heart swelled at the sight of his upturned head, crinkled eyes and flushed cheeks. He caused that. Bokuto sniffed as he finished laughing and heaved a large sigh as he smiled to the stars.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, it’s just like… Everything feels like a big deal. But then when I look at the stars I remember how small we really are and how much is </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>out there. It’s weird is all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi chuckled, “A bit too old for </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>existential crisis, aren’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head and leaned forward onto his knees, “I choose not to think about that. There’s no need to think about what </span>
  <em>
    <span>could </span>
  </em>
  <span>be when all we are is what is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto pushed himself up and mirrored Akaashi’s position, “Yeah, I don’t know, dude. You lost me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, it doesn’t matter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stared at him for a moment before shrugging and looking back up. The wind cut through them and sent a wicked shiver through Akaashi’s chest. He frowned and leaned into Bokuto’s side. The ace laughed and pulled him backwards, causing him to windmill his arms out in his shock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi landed harshly onto Bokuto’s outstretched arm. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, only feeling his warmth and smelling his scent. He wanted to run. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to go, but he wanted to stay. He didn’t know what to do. His heart threatened to escape his chest as he slowly opened his eyes once again. The stars only seemed brighter than before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>think about when you look at the stars, then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi resisted the urge to look at him, “Limits.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Limits?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s really lame.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oooh, do tell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sighed as the panic ate him up, chilling his body and numbing his legs, but he promised himself he’d never lie to Bokuto. Even if it’d be easier to say ‘never mind’, he couldn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remember the night at training camp?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When I threw up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah. What about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s stomach turned threateningly as he curled into Bokuto’s side, seeking any form of warmth, “Uh, yeah. You reached up to the sky as if you were the main character—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi paused and laughed as he recalled, “No, as if you were the </span>
  <em>
    <span>protagonist </span>
  </em>
  <span>of a time resistant story.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am </span>
  </em>
  <span>the protagonist of the only story that concerns me,” Bokuto laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which story is that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi smiled, “I like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto wrapped his arm tightly around Akaashi, appreciating the warmth he gave off, “Right? Pretty badass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed lightly, “Right. But that night when you did that, it was like you were reaching towards something. And I realized that the sky was really only the representation for the limits of how far you would go. It just got me thinking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The sky has no limits.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto hummed and Akaashi felt the rumble through his bones. His fingers played over Akaashi’s side, sending a new round of goosebumps over his skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know it’s lame,” Akaashi’s panic swelled and he pressed his head into Bokuto’s ribs. “It’s just nice for the earthbound people to know that there’s a few people who can break their bonds and really… fly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It isn’t lame,” Bokuto whispered. “It’s actually really sweet. But don’t tell me you think you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>earthbound.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi chuckled and slid his eyes shut, “Of course I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The panic prickled uneasily through his back as Bokuto shifted and took him by the chin. His eyes snapped open and met Bokuto’s intense stare. The ace frowned deeply and his eyebrows were low over his eyes. He stared into Akaashi’s eyes and shook his head. The setter’s heart hammered even harder. He thought he’d have a heart attack. He couldn’t actually kiss Bokuto. That was where he drew the line. There was no coming back from that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only, the spiker didn’t go in for a kiss. He simply dropped his hand, looked back up to the sky and shook his head again. His face was entirely disappointed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look up, Akaashi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blinked at him before doing as he was told. He curled his fingers into Bokuto’s shirt as the wind cut over them again. Even the spiker was starting to feel cold. It could’ve been all in Akaashi’s head, a signal that Bokuto was pulling away emotionally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe we should go home,” Akaashi muttered as he pushed himself into a half sitting position. “You’re going to freeze.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” Bokuto said flatly, pulling him back down. “Look up, Akaashi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laid back onto his arm and stared up at the sky. His body felt icy and stiff. He wasn’t sure why Bokuto seemed so angry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” He whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothin’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please just tell me, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto sighed heavily and turned into him a bit, wrapping him tightly in his arms. Akaashi slid his eyes shut again as he was engulfed into a tight hug. He could feel Bokuto’s heart pound against his own. Normally, the hug would scare him. Especially when Bokuto buried his face on the top of his head, but the hug seemed to have no other motive. He was only trying to tell Akaashi he was there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled away and pointed back up to the glittery sky, “Look.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What am I supposed to be looking at?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your limits, Akaashi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi furrowed his brow and glanced at Bokuto, “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said it yourself. Some people are meant to fly. You’re one of ‘em. I don’t know why you don’t see that. If people like </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>are earthbound, then people like me have never even seen the sky. You’re too smart to be that dumb.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared down incredulously at him for a minute before blinking back up, “You think so?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing you can’t do. No matter what you do with your life, you’re going to take off. Give yourself a little credit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi pressed his lips together as he laid back on Bokuto’s chest. The spiker really </span>
  <em>
    <span>believed </span>
  </em>
  <span>in him. But...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what I want to do with my life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have a dream?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A dream? No, not really.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about something for right now? Like, winning Nationals?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t really care about winning Nationals.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I just want to play with people who love the game as much as me. I’ve done that. I do it every day, now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm, you gotta have a dream, Akaashi! Everyone needs a dream!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s been a dreamless sleep,” Akaashi laughed. “For quite a while now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s fingers once again played over his side, “Wake up and dream! Life is so much better that way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed as the stars winked at him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Wake up </span>
  </em>
  <span>and dream?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes!” Bokuto laughed and tugged him impossibly closer. “I dream </span>
  <em>
    <span>all the time!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Akaashi smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Life is fun when you have a dream.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They laid in the grass for a long moment in silence. A moment stretched into several as the wind only became colder and colder. The sky became darker and the stars became brighter. Slowly, the sounds of passing cars became sparser. Bokuto’s hand moved from Akaashi’s side to his hair, brushing through it and tugging at the dark locks. Akaashi’s eyes grew heavier and heavier as time passed. Somewhere along the way, his body relaxed and he melted into Bokuto’s touch. He felt secure there. Bokuto didn’t want to hurt him, that much was clear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He startled fully awake and struggled to catch himself when Bokuto shouted and sat up. He immediately looked to where Bokuto pointed in the sky and saw a faint streak of light crossing the other stars.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit, </span>
  </em>
  <span>did you freakin’ see that, Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Akaashi breathed, his heart still palpitating. “It was amazing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Make a wish!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A wish?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A wish!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced at the sky, then back at Bokuto, who sat with his eyes closed and a smile on his face as he made his wish. The setter looked back at the stars. He didn’t know what to wish for. Frankly, he didn’t even believe in that, but so much as thinking so would likely break Bokuto’s heart. He had to wish for </span>
  <em>
    <span>something. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced back at Bokuto and smiled slightly as he reopened his eyes and beamed up at the heavens. He wrapped his arms around his legs and looked back at where Bokuto was looking.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I wish for Bokuto-san’s wish to come true.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as Akaashi was about to lean back onto his hands again, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out of his pocket and saw it was his mom. He quickly held a finger up to Bokuto and answered the call.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Keiji, it's almost midnight. Where are you?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure. Nishiaoki, I think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why? Are you okay?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m okay. I ran into Bokuto-san while I was out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh? How is that?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Good. I’m glad you aren’t alone, but… Can you please come home now?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay, see you soon.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi hung up the phone and frowned as he felt Bokuto’s hand climb his back. He closed his eyes against the slight warmth and definite pressure against his spine. He wanted it— He wanted </span>
  <em>
    <span>him </span>
  </em>
  <span>so, so badly. He couldn’t have him, though. Sure, his mother was apparently okay with it, but his father would be an entirely different monster to face. He couldn’t put Bokuto through that. No, if he liked Bokuto— and he did— then, he had to protect him from that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to go home, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, let’s get you home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi frowned as the spiker stood and offered a hand out to him. The setter took a deep breath and stood without his help, steeling his emotions as he walked by him and back down the hill.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto frowned, but followed along. They walked in silence with Akaashi picking at his cuticles and Bokuto staring at the passing scenery. The night simply got colder and colder the longer they went.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t need to walk with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to walk with you,” Bokuto smiled as he leaned down to meet Akaashi’s eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter pointedly avoided his gaze, “Okay. If you insist.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto hummed, “Do you not </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>me to walk with you, Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked up and cursed himself for his promise to never lie. Surely it wouldn’t be bad to lie if it was to protect him— No. He couldn’t even lie to </span>
  <em>
    <span>himself</span>
  </em>
  <span> to justify it. He sighed and resigned to his fate of sad honesty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi gasped as Bokuto boldly took his hand in his own, weaving their fingers together. Bokuto held their hands up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you mind?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glared at the ground, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“No.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Awesome!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto swung their hands between them as they walked. Akaashi glanced down to their hands, noting how well they fit together. Was it already too late? Would he just hurt Bokuto more by distancing himself? It wasn’t like they kissed or anything </span>
  <em>
    <span>serious. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He stared up at the sky as they walked, thinking about how nice it’d be to just dissolve to stardust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he knew it, they were at his doorstep. Bokuto walked him up the few stairs and squeezed his hand before dropping it. Akaashi stared at him for a second before remembering he had his jacket. He quickly unzipped it and pushed it towards the spiker.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for lending me this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Bokuto said, moving to take it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He intentionally placed his fingers over Akaashi’s and didn’t move to pull the jacket from his grasp. Instead he pulled Akaashi into him and leaned their faces together. Akaashi slid his eyes shut tightly as Bokuto’s hand made its way to his cheek. He felt his breath against his lips when the panic swelled painfully through his chest and out of his mouth. He put his hand firmly on Bokuto’s chest and pushed gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, don’t make me do this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto pulled back and furrowed his brow at him before whispering, “Do what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi wouldn’t meet his eye as he whispered, “Tell you no.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why say no?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi didn’t answer. He merely shivered as the wind tore through him, only aggravating his already numbing legs. Bokuto frowned deeper as he crossed his arms, the jacket falling in his grasp alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ya know, I think something just clicked.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Akaashi dared to look at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He saw nothing behind his eyes but openness and understanding. He frowned up at his expression, searching for any sign of hurt or rejection but found nothing. He shuddered again as the wind slammed into him from behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Bokuto nodded. “I think I just figured you out, Akaashi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto smiled, “It’s something I’ve been wondering for a while now… When you’re out on the court you are </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>decisive, but in your personal life you can’t seem to make a decision worth a damn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi took a small step back and wrapped his arms around himself as he glared up at Bokuto. The wind cut him into strips, but he also crossed his arms in an attempt to hide himself from his spiker.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I know why, now. Do you want to know what I think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess,” he muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because out there on the court, you have us. You know we have your back whether or not you make the </span>
  <em>
    <span>right </span>
  </em>
  <span>decision. We let you control the game, who does what, where they do it, </span>
  <em>
    <span>when </span>
  </em>
  <span>they do it. You know </span>
  <em>
    <span>why </span>
  </em>
  <span>we do that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Akaashi whispered, staring down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gasped slightly as Bokuto wrapped his jacket tightly around him again, holding both sides of the zipper securely around his chest. Bokuto pushed and pulled on the jacket, swaying Akaashi slightly as they met each other’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because we’re a team and we </span>
  <em>
    <span>trust </span>
  </em>
  <span>you. You’re always giving us all you’ve got out there, so even if you make a mistake, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>doesn’t matter. </span>
  </em>
  <span>We have your back. Always.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But then, I don’t think that’s how you feel in your personal life. I don’t think you feel in control of anything. I don’t think you feel like anyone has your back out here. So, making decisions is harder, because even if in your </span>
  <em>
    <span>head </span>
  </em>
  <span>they’re right you let other people tell you they’re wrong. Am I right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi didn’t answer, simply staring up at Bokuto. The spiker smiled softly as he ran his hands down the zippers before releasing his grip on him entirely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I’m going to put this in terms you can understand. I like you, Akaashi. Obviously. I want us to be together. I think we could make something really special. You know how we are on the court?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded stiffly and Bokuto chuckled before placing his hands on his shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It would be like </span>
  <em>
    <span>that. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Only </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>the time, not just during volleyball. That being said… I can understand where you stand, too. Your family situation is complicated and I would never ask you to risk that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared sadly up at his unwavering smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just needed to tell you. We’re wasting time. If you choose to be with me, anyway. But whatever you choose to do, Akaashi,” he leaned down and met his eye severely, “I have your back. Always. If you </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>want this— if you truly </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>want to be together— I hope we can still be friends. No matter what, I have your back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san, I—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stood and shook his head with a smile, “Not yet. Think about it, okay? Take your time. The ball is in your court, so do what you do best and make the best decision. For </span>
  <em>
    <span>you. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Not me. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Not </span>
  </em>
  <span>your dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi swallowed down the lump in his throat as Bokuto squeezed his upper arms before retracting his touch entirely once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I care about you, okay? I just want to see you happy. No matter what that means. Have a good night, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi watched him bounce down the stairs and start off to the sidewalk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker turned back with a smile, “Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you. I had fun tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed, “Me, too, Akaashi. Goodnight!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi frowned and his heart lurched into his throat as Bokuto turned back and started walking again. He gasped and pulled the jacket around himself again as the wind nearly blew it away. He looked down at the fabric between his fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, Bokuto-san!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed and turned back again, shouting across the distance, “Yes, Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your jacket!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto smiled and waved as he walked backward towards his own home, “Keep it! Give it back when you tell me about your decision!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi smiled faintly and gripped it tighter, “Okay!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watched Bokuto turn back again with a racing heart. The wind cut sharply around him, fluttering his shirt and hair. Akaashi took a step down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of Bokuto’s laugh travelled back to him like a song in the wind, “Go inside!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi took another step down and leaned forward, watching him disappear into the night. He wished he’d come back. Suddenly, he regretted not taking the opportunity to use the shooting star more effectively. Then again, he really did just want Bokuto’s wishes to come true. He deserved that. He deserved a lot. He wasn’t there for long, just staring before the door to his house opened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keiji?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slowly turned to look at his mother, who stood with puffy eyes. She peeked just around the wooden surface, attempting to keep the cold outside. He stood straight and suddenly felt his feet against the ground again. Back to real life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you coming inside?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked by his mother and into the warm house, all too aware of the way gravity kept him down. The weight of Bokuto’s jacket around his shoulders lay heavily on him, a grim reminder of the decision he needed to make. He stared down at his shoes, feeling the dull ache through his feet from the night of light adventure. How hadn’t he noticed it sooner?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat heavily on the bench by the door and untied his shoes, feeling the thrum of his pulse through his shins as they burned with the pain of a good workout. He hummed as he dropped his shoes onto the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gravity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He forgot about gravity while he was with Bokuto. It didn’t matter much when he was around. When he was gone, though, Akaashi felt heavy again. Maybe it was possible for Akaashi to fly, too. He just couldn’t see it happening without Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Maybe I’m pathetic,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stood and stretched out his limbs, stiff from the cold. He inhaled sharply through his nose, getting a large whiff of Bokuto’s scent from his jacket that still hung around his shoulders. Akaashi sighed and removed it before holding it up in front of himself. He smiled at the label inside by the hanging loop.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kōtarō.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Or maybe I’m falling for him.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He slowly walked up the stairs and into his bedroom before crawling onto his bed. He sighed and stared up at the ceiling, kneading the lightweight material between his fingers. His heart hurt. He wanted Bokuto. He wanted to save Bokuto, though. From his family. From him. From everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears pushed at his eyes as the gravity of the situation weighed on his chest, making it hard to breathe. He subconsciously brought the jacket to his face, shutting out the light. Bokuto’s scent washed over him once again, bringing nearly immediate calm to his head. Fresh linen, cold nights and something else that was distinctly </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bokuto. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He frowned deeply.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Or maybe it’s a bit of both.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Aren’t You A Bit Too Good For Him?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>CW: Mentions of drug use, incarceration and suicide</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>‘</span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>Akaashi Keiji🏐👑: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>Bokuto-san, I can’t come to practice today. I also won’t be attending classes. I apologize for the inconvenience.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Bokuto Kōtarō: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>oh is everything okay?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Akaashi Keiji🏐👑: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>Yes, I simply have an appointment that will last the duration of the day.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Bokuto Kōtarō: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>oh okay</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Bokuto Kōtarō: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>good luck man</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Akaashi Keiji🏐👑: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>Thank you. Please remember to study. Your science books are in my locker. The locker number is 588 and the combination is 17-28-15. Please delete this text once you retrieve them, as well.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Bokuto Kōtarō: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>okay. will you be back for practice tomorrow?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Akaashi Keiji🏐👑: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>That’s to be determined. It depends entirely on how today plays out. I need to go, now. Have a good day, Bokuto-san.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Bokuto Kōtarō: </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>yeah you too akaashi’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto sighed at his phone. They got home from Nationals on a Friday, leaving the weekend ahead of them. Then, they were excused from classes for three days to recover. It was absolutely seen as an overreaction by Bokuto, but greatly appreciated by his teammates. None of them were committed enough. The Thursday that Akaashi was missing would be their first day back right before the entire Academy had the next Friday off, leading right into a three day weekend. Long story short, he’d be going nine days without seeing his setter. That felt longer than an eternity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He closed his own locker, feeling a weight pressing onto his shoulders. He played it cool with Akaashi when he said that he could take his time in making his decision, but really he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>dying. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He wanted to know something definitively. He was hoping that he’d get his answer once they were back at school, but he was going on a week without so much as a hint.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wandered over to Akaashi’s locker and struggled with the lock. By his fifth attempt, a female voice scared him halfway to death.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He jumped and turned, hand clutched over his heart. A small, but very beautiful girl stood before him, glaring harshly at him. She had long dark hair and equally dark eyes. She had her arms crossed over books that she pressed into her chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, Bokuto Kōtarō?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing at Keiji-kun’s locker?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Keiji-kun?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>He shook his head slightly and cleared his throat before jabbing his thumb in the general direction of the locker. “Akaashi just has some of my books.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, so you </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>Keiji-kun, then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She slowly approached and dropped her books to one side, “Do you need help with the lock?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know… Uh, yeah, sure. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She easily opened the lock and allowed him access into Akaashi’s locker, “No problem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watched her from his peripheral as she opened the locker right next to Akaashi’s, “So, you and Akaashi are friends?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” she said, exchanging her books for different ones. “We were pretty good friends last year in middle school. We fell out of touch more or less recently, but he still asks me to take homework to and from his locker.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To which part?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All of it, I guess?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We studied together, quickly becoming friends, despite how much he practiced for volleyball. We fell out of touch due to how much he practices for volleyball. He asks me to do the homework thing for him because of how much he practices for volleyball.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stuck his head into the locker and rolled his eyes while mouthing a large </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘wow’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>before pretending to look through the things in the locker, “I mean… </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>practice just as much, if not </span>
  <em>
    <span>more </span>
  </em>
  <span>than him. I can still go to my own locker.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked him up and down, “Ah, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re </span>
  </em>
  <span>the one who convinced him to start doing our German lessons in booklets rather than actually attending classes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t convince him to do anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you’re right. Of course you didn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took all of his self control not to glare at her fake smile, “Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned his attention back to the locker and actually looked for his books. He sifted through the </span>
  <em>
    <span>millions </span>
  </em>
  <span>of textbooks, binders and notebooks within. He found his own things near the middle of the stack and started pulling them out one by one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She cocked her head and read the front of a textbook in his hand, “You’re a </span>
  <em>
    <span>second year?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced down at her, “Yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s why I didn’t recognize you,” she said. “Isn’t it kind of pathetic to need the help of a first year?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blinked dumbly into the locker before looking down at her again, “Isn’t it kind of disrespectful to speak to your upperclassman like that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hummed as she closed her locker and looked him up and down again before slowly walking across him and away, “I would treat you like an upperclassman if you would </span>
  <em>
    <span>act </span>
  </em>
  <span>like an upperclassman.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto silently cursed as the scent of her floral shampoo wafted up to him. She had no right to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>pretty and smell </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>good but be such a </span>
  <em>
    <span>dick. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He rolled his eyes again and looked back into the locker for anything he might’ve forgotten. He was about to close the locker when his name caught his eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced around himself for Suzie Sunshine before pulling the paper out from between the books. He smiled widely at his setter’s neat writing. The paper was merely a schedule on how to keep track of all his events and classes. He smiled larger at how frequently his name appeared.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘German - Booklets 3-7 by Thursday</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Calculus - Chapters 28-31 by Wednesday</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>English - To Kill A Mockingbird Chapters 4-6 by Friday</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Music - Refine bridge (time permitting)</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bokuto-san</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Chemistry - Chapters 18-24 by Tuesday (next)</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>English - Basic vocabulary Chapters 17-18 by Wednesday</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Make sure Bokuto studies for mathematics</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Morning practice with Bokuto Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Study with <strike>Sato</strike> Bokuto - Friday’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The more he read, the further his smile fell into a frown. The page was old and most things had a check beside them. Mostly, it was the scratched out name that his own name replaced that both swelled and broke his heart. Did he take up too much of Akaashi’s time? Was he a burden on him? Surely Akaashi would say something if he minded—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he wouldn’t. Bokuto saw the way he allowed people to walk all over him. If Akaashi had a problem, he definitely </span>
  <em>
    <span>wouldn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>say anything. He sighed and tucked the paper into his books before closing the locker harshly just as the bell rang, warning him to get his ass to class.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto kicked his shoes off after practice using only his feet as he pulled up Kuroo’s contact on his phone. His teammates milled around him, joking amongst themselves as they all changed. Bokuto held the phone up to his ear as it dialled and started half heartedly pulling his knee pads off, knowing he’d need to use both hands to really do it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Suh?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Kuroo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oof, you sound depressed. What’s up?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanna study with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay, okay, okay. I just got </span>
  </em>
  <span>really </span>
  <em>
    <span>cold.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Why?” Bokuto gasped, “A ghost?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Nah,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kuroo drawled. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Hell just froze over. Why do </span>
  </em>
  <span>you </span>
  <em>
    <span>want to study?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll have you know I study </span>
  <em>
    <span>all the time!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glared at his teammates as they jabbed jokes at him about how he didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>study, he just wanted to stare at Akaashi for longer. He flipped them off and tucked his phone between his ear and shoulder so he could actually get his knee pads off.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sure you do. So, you really expect me to come all the way down there just so we can study?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes? I mean, you can stay for the weekend. Do you guys have tomorrow off, too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah, we do. Sounds good, dude. I’ll catch the next train.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweet. See ya later, Kuroo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yep.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The call dropped and he finally took the phone away after he got his first knee pad off then doubled down on changing, more than excited to see his best friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe you’re actually leaving </span>
  <em>
    <span>with </span>
  </em>
  <span>us,” Enatsu laughed. “Never thought I’d see the day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, ‘cause Akaashi isn’t here,” Konoha laughed as he pulled his shirt over his head. “We aren’t worthy of extra practice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, shuddup,” Bokuto whipped him with his shirt. “None of you would stay even if I asked.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you didn’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>try. </span>
  </em>
  <span>What if we </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>say yes?” Komi poked him in his side, causing him to jump.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, do you want to stay with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto rolled his eyes as his teammates laughed, “Good one. Predictable. Ya boring.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sped through his changing and waved to his teammates as he all but ran from the school. He knew it’d be a bit before Kuroo got there, but he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>excited. He slung his bag across his chest, grimacing against the extra weight of all his textbooks and ran the entire way home. He flung the door open loudly and threw his bag dramatically on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Mother! I am home!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kitchen!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shut the door and practically skipped into the kitchen, faltering as his dad sat at the table. It’d been around a week since he so much as caught a glimpse of the man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yo, dad. What’s up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, son. How was school?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto hugged his mother before pulling a chair out across from his father, sprawling his legs out widely beneath the table. He leaned forward and stared at his dad with a shit eating grin as he stared down at his phone. The man looked up quickly before doing a double take and smiling back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Kōtarō?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His dad laughed and turned his screen off before mirroring his body language and leaning forward to stare right back. Bokuto pressed his lips together to keep from laughing. His mother turned around and furrowed her brow at them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop being weird.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They laughed and sat back, Bokuto throwing his head back as his mom pet his hair back. He quickly leaned forward, jumping out of his chair as she switched things up, trying to push his hair down instead. He quickly ran his fingers through it again, putting it back in place as she laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Got a hot date or something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he glared. “Kuroo is coming over, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” he smiled sheepishly. “Is it okay if Kuroo comes over?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stole his seat and smiled up at him, “A bit too late to say no now, isn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re studying if it helps!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto took a different chair and leaned back onto the table, batting his eyelashes at her with his most innocent smile. His dad leaned onto his hand and squinted at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not studying with… Uh,” he tapped the table with his free hand and pointed to Bokuto’s mother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi Keiji,” she said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi Keiji,” he repeated. “I thought you two studied together now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto sat back and shrugged, suddenly very interested in his hands, “Nah. He’s busy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong, Kōtarō? Did something happen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced at his mom and shook his head, “Nah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Talk to us, baby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto sighed heavily and nervously glanced at his dad, who stared back but gave an encouraging nod, “Okay. Uh, so on Friday we ended up hanging out. When I went for my jog.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother nodded, “Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, it was a really good time. We didn’t even study a single page of anything. That was the best part. Okay, maybe the best part—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced back at his dad, whose expression never changed. His mom looked between them and gave him a dismissive shake of the head, urging him to go on. He leaned onto his elbows, covering his mouth with his folded hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I messed up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” His dad frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stared up, unwilling to meet his eye, “I told him how I feel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you feel?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like…” Bokuto exhaled loudly. “I feel like he feels like he doesn’t have any control in his life. So I told him that I like him and want to be with him, and that the decision was up to him. Which, I mean, obviously. But, yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>said </span>
  </em>
  <span>that?” His mom balked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>said </span>
  </em>
  <span>I think I messed up, didn’t I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess you </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>say that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all marinated in silence for a minute before his dad cleared his throat and sat up. Bokuto finally looked at him as he fidgeted with his phone, shifting it under his fingers uncomfortably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure it made sense in full context.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you knew his dad, I think you’d understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that what you think the mistake was?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Bokuto frowned at him, feeling disappointment rise in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean… In this situation, you think the problem was </span>
  <em>
    <span>how </span>
  </em>
  <span>you confessed and not just confessing at all?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glanced at his mother alarmed before looking back at his dad, “If you’re saying it’s wrong—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kōtarō,” he sighed. “I didn’t mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever. </span>
  </em>
  <span>From what I’ve heard it just sounds like this Akaashi Keiji boy is confused. I think you rushed into it. I think </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>was the mistake.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto slumped down, “Oh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His dad dropped his phone and reached across the table to take his hand, drawing his attention back up. He smiled softly at his son and squeezed his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why rush something you want to last forever?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto slowly broke into his own smile, “A bit too late for that, isn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t think so,” he shrugged. “Anyone would be </span>
  <em>
    <span>damn lucky </span>
  </em>
  <span>to have you. If he’s as smart as you’ve told your mom, there’s no way he’ll turn you down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glanced at his mom as she cleared her throat and his dad pursed his lips as his eyes turned back to her for a split second.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And if he </span>
  <em>
    <span>doesn’t,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he cleared his throat. “Then, he’s a fool. But that’s his choice. And that’s okay, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their attention all turned to the door as Kuroo knocked. Bokuto’s mom stood and ruffled her son and husband’s hair on her way to let him in. His dad dropped his hand and stood to stretch before grabbing his phone and checking his notifications.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ugh, </span>
  </em>
  <span>work. Am I right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He yawned loudly, “Alright, I gotta take a nap. Class is in a couple hours now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Bokuto smiled up at him. “I’m proud of you, dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His dad beamed at him before taking his face in his hands and kissing his forehead, “And </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m </span>
  </em>
  <span>proud of </span>
  <em>
    <span>you. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Love you, son.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you, dad!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He eagerly followed the man out of the room with his eyes and beamed larger when he saw him pass by Kuroo and slap his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s up, Tetsurō?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s good, Ryota?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just kickin’ ass and takin’ names.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo snickered, “God, you’re getting </span>
  <em>
    <span>old.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Turning thirty five soon. My back aches </span>
  <em>
    <span>every day.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Kuroo laughed. “Get outta here. Go take your old man nap. You’ve earned it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn right I did. Later, Tetsurō. Happy studying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto smiled after his dad, watching him for every second he could before shifting his attention to his friend. Kuroo stretched his arms out, his bag flailing awkwardly on his arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bro!”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Bro!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo engulfed Bokuto’s head in a tight hug, squeezing him roughly. When he let go, Bokuto sucked in air harshly before laughing and shoving him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s been so long!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know!” Bokuto laughed evilly. “Because </span>
  <em>
    <span>some </span>
  </em>
  <span>of us couldn’t make it to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nationawls.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo glared at his baby voice and pout before flicking him on the forehead, “Next year, we’re beating you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh huh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>sure,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto chuckled as Kuroo sat next to him. “I bet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever, dude,” Kuroo slapped his books onto the table. “Get your shit out. Prove to me you're </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>just a hot piece of ass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed loudly, getting up to retrieve his bags, “I’ll show you I’m more than just a hot, </span>
  <em>
    <span>hot </span>
  </em>
  <span>himbo!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared at his conversation with Bokuto, hoping he’d get his books and </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually </span>
  </em>
  <span>study. He wished he could’ve gone to school and he wished he could’ve actually studied </span>
  <em>
    <span>with </span>
  </em>
  <span>him, but his parents had other plans. He glanced up as his mother entered the room, shoving pearls into her ears. He looked her up and down, taking in her high class outfit and blown out hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you trying to impress him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh? I’m not. I just don’t want him to assume we’re struggling.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, you’re trying to impress him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She slumped and looked severely at him, “No, Keiji. If you want him to actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>consider </span>
  </em>
  <span>allowing me to keep you full time, I need to convince him that we don’t need him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t nee—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know we don’t need him, but we need </span>
  <em>
    <span>him </span>
  </em>
  <span>to know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi pursed his lips and nodded, waiting to leave. She paced around between the living room and kitchen, being sure she had everything she needed before standing in front of Akaashi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ready?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he stood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She frowned and licked her fingers before attempting to fully flatten his hair. He cringed and dodged out of the way of her assaulting saliva fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Mom, </span>
  </em>
  <span>relax. Please. It’ll be fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded and led her to the door by the shoulder. It certainly </span>
  <em>
    <span>wouldn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>be fine, but one of them had to keep it together. He sighed as she stopped and turned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My purse.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She returned with the bag and they finally actually left the house, beginning their journey to Toyosu. The entire trip was spent in his head, building up anticipation and anxiety. After his meltdown to his mother, she took it upon herself to arrange a family counselling session with the </span>
  <em>
    <span>entire </span>
  </em>
  <span>extended family at the advice of her lawyer. Apparently it was a step that was necessary to take before renegotiating the custody arrangement. It wasn’t ideal and in fact, Akaashi wished he hadn’t said anything at all. The only reason he wasn’t clawing at the car door in an attempt to throw himself out of the moving vehicle was his plan to remain entirely </span>
  <em>
    <span>silent. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He didn’t intend on saying more than ten words. That was his goal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother parked in a visitor spot at the dreaded apartment and they both sat in tense silence for a long, long moment before she shifted and looked at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is going to be hard. I know that. But you need to speak and be honest, okay? Use your voice. I can’t do it for you, no matter how much I want to. It won’t do anything if I say everything. It needs to be you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded stiffly, staring down, “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There went his plan. The anxiety threatened to swallow him whole. His throat stuck together as he tried gulping and his eyes felt as though someone blew dust into them. He followed his mother’s lead and got out of the car before following her inside. He turned his key in the elevator and hit the button.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m scared,” he whispered against his own will.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She took his hand tightly, “I know. I believe in you. You’re so brave, honey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She paused for a moment, “I strongly encourage you to lose your wits in there. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded slightly before he shut his eyes and focused solely on her hand in his. Her warmth and comfort through such a simple touch. If he wanted to get away, he had to face the problem. The only way out was through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He exhaled sharply and opened his eyes as the doors opened into the apartment and they stepped out. His mother’s shoes clacked loudly against the stone floor. They quietly removed their shoes and were confronted by Tomiko when they looked back up. She was also dressed exceptionally well, objectively better than his mother. She had crossed arms and a fake smile on her glossed lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hayami-sama.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tomiko-san,” Hayami acknowledged flatly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keiji-kun, welcome. Please, follow me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They followed her as requested into the living room, where several people already sat. Akaashi quickly made his way to Chihaku who sprawled out over the uncomfortable couch playing on his phone. He was very aware of the way his mother followed behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haku-kun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His stepbrother looked up and smiled largely, “Oh, hey there, trouble maker.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sunk into the cushion beside him, “I’m really sorry about this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chihaku laughed brightly, “Nah, dude. This is </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’ve ever wanted. I should be kissin’ your feet right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It isn’t too late,” Akaashi laughed, holding his foot out jokingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A man he hadn’t noticed before leaned across Chihaku and Akaashi recognized him quickly from vocal lessons. His old friend’s father.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How you doing, Keiji-kun?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Takamota-san,” Akaashi bowed his head. “It’s very nice to see you again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You, too, kiddo. You’ve grown a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he turned his attention to his mother. “Hayami-san. I apologize for the informality, I just don’t know what name you go by now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled blankly and bowed her head to him, “It’s Uchiyama now, Takamota-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” he smiled cooly and bowed his head, “It suits you, Uchiyama-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” she whispered before bowing back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kazuki ran into the room, leading a reluctant man by the hand. He appeared clearly frazzled and very tired. He glanced nervously around the room, clearly much lower class than the others just based on how he dressed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mom! Dad is here!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tomiko reappeared, chuckling nervously as she directed Kazuki to a spot on a separate couch. She turned towards her ex-husband and bowed shallowly to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Miyashiro-sama, welcome. Please, sit. We’ll be starting soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded blankly, staring at her with clear hatred before sitting beside Kazuki and ruffling his hair. Akaashi stared wearily at them as the boy clearly idolized his dad. The man seemed simply </span>
  <em>
    <span>exhausted.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Yutaka entered the room, talking on his phone as such was the norm. He sat heavily in a chair, seemingly unbothered by all the lives he personally affected within the room. He didn’t so much as </span>
  <em>
    <span>glance </span>
  </em>
  <span>at Akaashi’s mother. Tomiko returned once again with two unfamiliar men that Akaashi assumed was the counsellor and the social worker that needed to be there for the certain shit show that was to come. Everyone sat down and waited for Yutaka to hang up his call, ranging from uncomfortable to impatient. Once he was done, he pocketed his phone and stood to greet the men sent there to judge them. Akaashi masked his disgust as he watched his father charm the men.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The social worker clapped and smiled at them, opening a notepad, “Hello, everyone! We have quite the mix here today, huh? Why don’t we go around the circle and introduce ourselves just so I can get a grasp on who I’m talking to? I’ll start. My name is Taira Ken'Ichi. I work for social services and my job really is to observe the dynamics that present themselves through our session today. Don’t be nervous and just be yourselves!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The counsellor went next, “Hello! I am Matsuno Masayoshi. I am a therapist, but my job today is mostly to keep things on track and play the devil’s advocate. It’s a pleasure to meet you all. Why don’t we begin with Akaashi-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yutaka nodded and straightened his suit jacket, “Yes. I am Akaashi Yutaka. Father of Keiji and step-father to Kazuki and Chihaku.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tomiko smiled at him, smugly taking his hand in her own from her own chair, “I’m Akaashi Tomiko. Mother of Kazuki and Chihaku.” She paused before quickly adding, “Legally step-mother to Keiji-chan, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>mother </span>
  </em>
  <span>in spirit!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi didn’t need to look at his mother to feel the hurt that caused her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m Kazuki!” The boy waved to the men, kicking his feet and smiling innocently, and the act was well received. Akaashi could feel his walls going up fast and they were reinforced with steel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah,” Kazuki’s father muttered. “I’m Miyashiro Nobou. Kazuki-kun’s father.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Takamota Taeko,” Chihaku’s father raised a hand. “This handsome boy’s proud father.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chihaku laughed, “The handsome boy’s name is Takamota Chihaku!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi steeled his nerves as everyone looked at him, “Akaashi Keiji.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The evaluators nodded with frail smiles before looking at his mother. She brought out her best smile and put an arm around Akaashi. The setter knew the gesture was as much for her own good as it was for his, but he didn’t mind. In fact, it was appreciated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am Uchiyama Hayami. This boy is my son.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good!” The social worker said with a smile, looking around at them. “Let’s get this started, then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The therapist looked up and clicked out his pen, “Where should we start?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one said anything until Yutaka shifted in his seat, crossing his legs, “Since Keiji wanted to do this, perhaps he should be first to give his word.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi felt a sharp jolt of panic through his chest, “Uh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother patted his back and smiled at him, “It's okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chihaku glanced at him with a smile hidden under the hand he leaned on before sitting up, “Nah. I’ll start.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi suppressed his smile as that clearly displeased his father. Chihaku’s dad smiled proudly at him. The teenager turned to face the therapist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>used </span>
  </em>
  <span>to live here, right? You know, </span>
  <em>
    <span>after </span>
  </em>
  <span>my mom had an affair for </span>
  <em>
    <span>years </span>
  </em>
  <span>tearing a bunch of families apart? Obviously, that pissed me off. I did a </span>
  <em>
    <span>bunch </span>
  </em>
  <span>of things I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>proud of— but </span>
  <em>
    <span>also </span>
  </em>
  <span>do not regret in the least. This caused them to kick me out, unbeknownst to the courts, but it’s fine because my dad’s kick ass. I’m really happy living with him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The atmosphere in the room was heavy</span>
  <em>
    <span> immediately. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi had to cover his mouth after four words. Everyone else except his own dad stared at him with fish gaped mouths. He looked around with wide eyes and outstretched palms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? I thought we’re supposed to be honest?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely,” the therapist said, scratching down notes. “No one is wrong here, today. Would you like to add anything or pass the torch along?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If anyone has thoughts to add, I’m open to it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’d like to add something,” Yutaka straightened his tie. “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>regret both stealing </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>crashing my car?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yutaka uncrossed his legs and leaned in, “You really </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>regret that at all?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chihaku’s smile occupied his entire face as he leaned back in, “Let me tell you something, pops.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yutaka glared forward and Takamota glared back at the man with crossed arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chihaku lowered his voice to a whisper, the smile never leaving his face, “You don’t regret tearing my family apart, so I don’t regret crashing your car. One is worth a little bit more than the other.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yutaka shook his head, “I didn’t tear your family apart. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That </span>
  </em>
  <span>man did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pointed directly at Kazuki’s father, who perked up with a white face. Chihaku tilted his head back as he laughed loudly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mock my intelligence, sir! No, no. See, maybe you don’t understand, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>some families,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he gestured between himself and his father, “Are </span>
  <em>
    <span>honest </span>
  </em>
  <span>with each other. My poor, dear father was forced to leave my </span>
  <em>
    <span>mother dearest </span>
  </em>
  <span>after a </span>
  <em>
    <span>devastating </span>
  </em>
  <span>fling with a certain businessman. Unfortunately that </span>
  <em>
    <span>sadly </span>
  </em>
  <span>didn’t work out seeing as he was “happily” married with a young child, causing her to seek comfort in a </span>
  <em>
    <span>different </span>
  </em>
  <span>poor, sad man. Nice try, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kazuki looked over to Tomiko with wide eyes, as did Kazuki’s father. Akaashi dared to look over at his mother, who appeared every bit as shocked and hurt as he felt. He knew their affair lasted </span>
  <em>
    <span>years, </span>
  </em>
  <span>but that many? How did they even know each other back then? Akaashi was only </span>
  <em>
    <span>sixteen, </span>
  </em>
  <span>meaning the affair went back to when he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>three? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Before then, even? How was that possible? His </span>
  <em>
    <span>entire life </span>
  </em>
  <span>was a lie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slowly reached out and took his mother’s hand and she clung tightly to it. Yutaka cleared his throat and sat back, fixing his jacket and tie once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At least </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>son has never gone to </span>
  <em>
    <span>prison.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Chihaku’s smile finally fell and he crossed his arms, “God, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>whole ten months? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Yeah, I really don’t even know who you were </span>
  <em>
    <span>trying </span>
  </em>
  <span>to insult there, but let me flip the script right quick. I went to prison for </span>
  <em>
    <span>ten months </span>
  </em>
  <span>for something </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>couldn’t begin to understand. Actually, no, you probably could. But that isn’t the point. You’ll never go to jail for a thing because you can pay anyone to look the other way about anything. The law doesn’t apply to you. Which is </span>
  <em>
    <span>good news </span>
  </em>
  <span>for you because you wouldn’t survive a week in there. That being said, yeah, I went to jail and I’m still more of a man that you. Pussy ass bitch. God, I fucking hate you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>used drugs,” Yutaka smirked at him. “Perhaps it’s just in your… </span>
  <em>
    <span>genetics.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Chihaku jumped up and rolled his sleeve up, the only thing stopping him from running forward and clobbering Yutaka was his father’s grip on his jacket. Akaashi sat back to get out of the crossfire.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t know if that was a shot at my race or my dad, but either way, I’m going to f—“</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Son,” his father breathed. “Sit down. Violence only helps his case. You can’t fix ignorance unless it wants to be fixed. Sit down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy breathed heavily, still glaring harshly at Yutaka. He slowly shook his head and fell back onto the couch, leaning forward to maintain his glare. Everyone was deathly silent as they watched them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway,” Chihaku sat back again, “I don’t believe for even a fraction of a second that you don’t sit in your marble office sniffing coke off a hooker’s back. I have </span>
  <em>
    <span>no </span>
  </em>
  <span>respect for you. I find you to be a vile, </span>
  <em>
    <span>vile </span>
  </em>
  <span>man and I want to be as far away from you as possible. Surely, Keiji here can back me on that. Right, bud?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His step-brother hit him in the arm, but he was too numb to really react. The numbness mixed with his disgust and anger like oil in water. It felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Heat and ice collided dangerously within him as he stared at his father with an even expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nonsense, Keiji is a loyal boy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’d make one loyal Akaashi,” Chihaku snorted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell them, Keiji. I wouldn’t do something like that. I was— I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am </span>
  </em>
  <span>a good father to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blinked slowly as his mother squeezed his hand. Chihaku nudged him again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go ahead, Keiji, tell him what you think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother leaned down and whispered in his ear, “Come on, baby. This is why we’re here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His father stared at him, “I’ve given you everything, Keiji. I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>good </span>
  </em>
  <span>to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tomiko nodded eagerly, “Yes! We’re a family, Keiji. Family is there for each other.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The heat and ice exploded in him as everyone stared at him expectantly, but didn’t speak above a whisper, “Family is </span>
  <em>
    <span>there </span>
  </em>
  <span>for each other?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, he speaks!” Chihaku slapped his back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Keiji! Family! Your father,” Tomiko squeezed Yutaka’s hand then gestured to Kazuki before tapping her own chest. “Your </span>
  <em>
    <span>brother! </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’m your mother now! We’re all so good together, don’t you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go ahead,” his mother whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi tore himself away from Chihaku and his mother, standing up quickly, feeling </span>
  <em>
    <span>entirely </span>
  </em>
  <span>overwhelmed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, suddenly you </span>
  <em>
    <span>care </span>
  </em>
  <span>about what I have to say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His father frowned, “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>care about what you have to say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi shook his head, officially deaf to him as he turned to Tomiko, “You are </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>my mother. You will </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>be my mother. The fact that you keep trying to push that onto me is </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>disrespectful that I cannot even begin to explain it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yes,” Chihaku whispered, absolutely glowing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even if I </span>
  <em>
    <span>accepted </span>
  </em>
  <span>you as my mother you would just go find a </span>
  <em>
    <span>richer </span>
  </em>
  <span>man to cheat on </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>dad with and force us all to live in </span>
  <em>
    <span>his </span>
  </em>
  <span>house until I protested out of </span>
  <em>
    <span>pain </span>
  </em>
  <span>that </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>caused and kick me out anyway! What’s the point?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned to address his father, “You are the </span>
  <em>
    <span>worst </span>
  </em>
  <span>person. I can’t stand being around you. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>hate </span>
  </em>
  <span>it here. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>hate </span>
  </em>
  <span>it. Every moment I spend in this apartment— You disappoint me so much. You tell me to ‘be a man’, but if I followed </span>
  <em>
    <span>your </span>
  </em>
  <span>example—“ He laughed, officially hysterical and his voice grew louder with each word. “That’d just mean I would lie, cheat, and steal my way to the top. I’d find a </span>
  <em>
    <span>beautiful </span>
  </em>
  <span>woman and throw it all away for </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You are </span>
  <em>
    <span>no </span>
  </em>
  <span>man to look up to. I’d rather be dirt poor but </span>
  <em>
    <span>happy. </span>
  </em>
  <span>And I’m not happy. Ever. Thanks to </span>
  <em>
    <span>you. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You have damaged me so deeply that it feels as if there’s no hope left for me. I have waited so long to scream these things at you— I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>done being passive. How could you </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a shaky breath in, his hands trembling at his sides. He formed them into fists to prevent himself from seeming </span>
  <em>
    <span>entirely </span>
  </em>
  <span>weak. His father merely stared on at him with unreadable emotion behind his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How can you do this to me? To her?” He pointed to his mother. “How can you sit here in this room and look us in the eye? How can you ever speak to us? How do you sleep at night? How do you eat? How have you </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>apologized? Do you ever even think about us when I’m not around? Does it even matter to you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keiji—“</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m not done talking. </span>
  </em>
  <span>This is a </span>
  <em>
    <span>monologue, </span>
  </em>
  <span>which means </span>
  <em>
    <span>shut up </span>
  </em>
  <span>and let me </span>
  <em>
    <span>speak. </span>
  </em>
  <span>No contribution necessary. All my questions are </span>
  <em>
    <span>rhetorical </span>
  </em>
  <span>because I do not want— I </span>
  <em>
    <span>cannot</span>
  </em>
  <span> hear any more of your lies. Understand?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His father raised his hands in surrender and looked away as he sat back again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed, completely lost in his anger, “I hate you. I hate it here. I hate Tomiko. I hate Kazuki. I hate </span>
  <em>
    <span>myself.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>say you hate my son,” Tomiko glared. “Just because he’s a better kid than </span>
  <em>
    <span>you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” Akaashi took a step forward. “You think he’s better than me. Of course you think so. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, he has you </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>fooled. I suppose it’s easy to fool the blind, though. And shame on you,” he glared at Kazuki. “If I had a dollar for every time he called me a faggot, or a fairy or a </span>
  <em>
    <span>tranny </span>
  </em>
  <span>or </span>
  <em>
    <span>any </span>
  </em>
  <span>other homophobic slur that you </span>
  <em>
    <span>simply </span>
  </em>
  <span>did not </span>
  <em>
    <span>care </span>
  </em>
  <span>to hear then </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>could buy this place from you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He has </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>said those thi—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t call you a faggot if you </span>
  <em>
    <span>weren’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>a faggot,” Kazuki yelled with crossed arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed loudly and threw his arm out to gesture to him, “You hear that? Or are we going to keep playing the deaf, dumb and blind routine? Because, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>must </span>
  </em>
  <span>be honest— It’s boring.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tomiko glanced between them, stumped for a reaction. She floundered for a moment before settling on crossing her arms and signing her own death warrant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>gay, aren’t you? You’re gay with that </span>
  <em>
    <span>volleyball </span>
  </em>
  <span>boy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi threw his arms out before running his hands down his face, “Oh, my </span>
  <em>
    <span>god.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keiji,” his mother said softly, tugging on the back of his shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So </span>
  <em>
    <span>what?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>He shouted, breaking. “So what if I am gay? How does that hurt anyone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yutaka leaned forward and hissed, “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>were </span>
  </em>
  <span>lying. I knew it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You lie every day of your life!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi screamed at him. “I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>dating Bokuto-san! But I would like to! And I think I will! It doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>affect </span>
  </em>
  <span>you! It does not matter at </span>
  <em>
    <span>all! </span>
  </em>
  <span>It does not change your life! All it’ll do is hopefully make </span>
  <em>
    <span>me </span>
  </em>
  <span>happy! Which no one ever seems to give a </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck </span>
  </em>
  <span>about!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother gasped at the profanity and Chihaku shouted his support while Tomiko and Yutaka simply gaped at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you know,” Akaashi breathed heavily, “That </span>
  <em>
    <span>ten </span>
  </em>
  <span>percent of gay youths have attempted suicide? Did you know that LGBT youths are </span>
  <em>
    <span>four times </span>
  </em>
  <span>more likely to </span>
  <em>
    <span>kill themselves— permanently end their lives </span>
  </em>
  <span>than those who are </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>queer in some capacity?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room held their breaths at the heavy topic, or perhaps it was his sudden use of fact.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Did you know,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he strained against the tears in his throat, “About all the times I’ve been here </span>
  <em>
    <span>thinking about it?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Yutaka shifted uncomfortably as Tomiko stared away from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The nights where I was here being called hateful thing after hateful thing, being forced to apologize to </span>
  <em>
    <span>him </span>
  </em>
  <span>because no one </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted </span>
  </em>
  <span>to hear me ask for </span>
  <em>
    <span>help? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Wishing I was at home with my mother who actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>gives a damn </span>
  </em>
  <span>about me? The nights where I sat with a bottle of alcohol in one hand and a bottle of Tomiko’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>illegally acquired </span>
  </em>
  <span>Oxytocin in the other, daring myself to do it because it’d be better than living a life pretending to be a person that I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>not?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He stood straight and took a deep breath, ignoring the tears on his face. He stared at his dad, who stared in horror back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s that look for? I doubt it’s that I told you that I want to die. Is it that I mentioned your trophy wife’s pill popping habits? Or is it that I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>crying? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Sorry, am I acting too femininely for your tastes? Perhaps it’s that you finally can’t live in denial about my sexuality? I’m sorry to disappoint you, father.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yutaka rubbed at his eye before propping his chin up on the arm of the chair, saying nothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll say something— not that it’ll matter to you. Bokuto-san makes me </span>
  <em>
    <span>happy. </span>
  </em>
  <span>And that scares me because I don’t know how to feel that way anymore. But it’s a good scary. He asked me to be with him— honestly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>twice </span>
  </em>
  <span>now. And I said no </span>
  <em>
    <span>both </span>
  </em>
  <span>times. Why? Because of </span>
  <em>
    <span>you. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>scared of you. I’m scared of you ruining our lives even more than you have. I don’t know why you can't just let us be happy. Why do you hate us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t hate you, Keiji. I don’t hate your mother, either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Every action you’ve taken since my infancy has pointed to the contrary,” Akaashi stood straight. “I can’t be here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re here because </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>wanted this, Keiji.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he snapped. “I didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>this. I want to never come back here. What I wanted was the </span>
  <em>
    <span>opposite </span>
  </em>
  <span>of this. Before I </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted </span>
  </em>
  <span>a father who accepted me for what I am. But I don’t want that anymore. I’m through with hiding. I’m through with being disappointed by you. I’m through with pretending. From now on, I’m making decisions for myself. I’m doing what I want from now on. And what I want is to </span>
  <em>
    <span>leave.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t stop you,” his father strained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi turned and bowed to the moderators, thankful they didn’t stop his outburst, “I apologize sincerely for losing my temper. I’m not normally like this. I appreciate your being here, but may I please leave? I am simply too upset to continue with this at the present moment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They bowed their heads back and the social worker spoke, “Okay. It’s your right to leave. Be advised that we will need to get back in touch about a few things mentioned here today. Otherwise, stay safe, okay, Keiji?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, sir. Thank you very much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then turned to Chihaku and his father, bowing lowly to them, “Please forgive my emotional outburst. I have a great deal of respect for you both.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about it,” his friend’s father laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved </span>
  </em>
  <span>it. You’re my hero,” Chihaku laughed loudly, slapping his back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi smiled at them, “Thank you for being here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’d do this all day long. And I intend to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed breathily, feeling light and shaky from finally getting it out there. He took his mother’s hand with his own trembling one and pulled her up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, you don’t belong here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled warmly at him, “Let’s go home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They made their way to their shoes, sliding them on before getting onto the elevator. Akaashi quickly took his key from his pocket and threw it into the apartment through the closing doors.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re probably still going to need that,” his mother laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but it felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>good!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gasped as she pulled him down into a tight hug, “I’m so proud of you. I— I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>proud of you. Did you mean that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mean what? I meant everything I said up there. I had a lot of time to think about it. Years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hugged him tighter, burying her face into his chest, “I hope you really do start living for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I plan on it. I’m sorry for the things you had to hear up there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hearing about the pills hurt more than hearing about the cheating. We’re just going to have to do everything we can to make sure it never happens again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I agree.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stepped out of the elevator and made their way to the car. He smiled at his mother as she bounced along the walkway to the parking lot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you so happy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because you’re glowing, Keiji. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>shared. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You were completely honest and I think that’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>great. I saw the boy I raised again. I love you so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They got into the car and smiled at each other, cheeks burning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel so good. So… light. I can’t remember the last time I felt this way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so happy, Keiji. Let’s get home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did up his seatbelt, still beaming, “Yeah, let’s.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto and Kuroo sat on his bed, books long forgotten. They threw cheese puffs at each other’s faces, trying to catch them in their mouths. The sun was setting outside and they only answered about five questions during their “study session”. It wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>their </span>
  </em>
  <span>fault. Dinner happened, they had some good conversation and quite frankly, who could remember studying when their best friend was there?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, how’s everything with Kenma?” Bokuto asked as he tossed a cheese puff at Kuroo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It smacked off his chin and fell down the front of his sweater, “Garbage. He’s so </span>
  <em>
    <span>blind, </span>
  </em>
  <span>dude. It’s like, how are you such an observant setter when you can’t pick up on my very obvious hints?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe he just isn’t into you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo glared at him and threw a puff at him, not even trying to aim it at his mouth, “Says </span>
  <em>
    <span>you. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi’s rejected you </span>
  <em>
    <span>twice, </span>
  </em>
  <span>now. When are you going to give up on that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When he tells me he’s not interested.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fair enough, I guess. But body language says a lot. If he refused to kiss you twice, I doubt it’ll happen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s a lot of layers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo shrugged and flicked him on the forehead. Bokuto narrowed his eyes and flicked him hard right back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ow!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo laughed and lunged forward, trying to pinch Bokuto wherever he could and the spiker attempted to get him off of him. They were mid-tussle when his mother opened the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kōtarō?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They awkwardly stopped in a strange straddling position, with Kuroo on top, mid motion, about to pinch Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are we being too loud?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” she laughed. “Well, yes, but it isn’t that. The door is for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He frowned, “Who is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re waiting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo and Bokuto frowned confusedly at each other before getting up and straightening their clothes out. They jumped down the stairs and made their way to the door. No one was </span>
  <em>
    <span>inside </span>
  </em>
  <span>of the door, so he slid some slippers on and opened it up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi Keiji sat on his doorstep, staring up at the stars. His heart faltered at the sight of him. It’d been so long— Not really, only six days, but it certainly </span>
  <em>
    <span>felt </span>
  </em>
  <span>that way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter stood quickly and turned, holding the spiker’s jacket in his hand, “Bokuto-san—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He faltered as he noticed Kuroo standing behind his ace. Bokuto smiled largely at him. He was so </span>
  <em>
    <span>goddamn pretty. </span>
  </em>
  <span>A week without Akaashi Keiji was an eternity without oxygen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s up, man?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced up at Kuroo before meeting Bokuto’s eye again, “I made a decision.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did?” Bokuto beamed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo popped his lips with an awkward smile before turning stiffly and closing the door behind himself. Akaashi looked down to the jacket before beaming himself. He looked up and met Bokuto’s eye again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s chest </span>
  <em>
    <span>exploded </span>
  </em>
  <span>at the sight of his straight teeth and glowing aura. He had </span>
  <em>
    <span>no clue </span>
  </em>
  <span>what happened to Akaashi between then and the last time he saw him, but he knew it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>big </span>
  </em>
  <span>and it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>good.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what did you decide?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi slowly approached and held the jacket up to him. Bokuto’s smile only grew as he placed their fingers together as he gripped onto the fabric in an all too familiar situation. Akaashi used the opportunity to pull him closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s cheeks set aflame as their foreheads touched. He could feel Akaashi’s breath against his right cheek and lips. He slid his eyes shut and willed himself </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>to pass out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to be with you, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker wanted to </span>
  <em>
    <span>scream. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Those words sounded </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>good coming out of </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>mouth with </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>voice directed at </span>
  <em>
    <span>him. </span>
  </em>
  <span>His name fell </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfectly </span>
  </em>
  <span>off of Akaashi’s tongue and he wanted to hear it forever. And, now, maybe he could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to be with you, too, Akaashi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart dissolved as the setter slowly moved forward and pressed their lips together in the least skilled, </span>
  <em>
    <span>best </span>
  </em>
  <span>worst kiss Bokuto could’ve possibly imagined. It was everything he ever hoped for. He sighed happily against Akaashi’s lips and dropped his grip on the jacket to take his face in both hands. Akaashi used his jacket gripping hand to press into Bokuto’s back and used his other to run up Bokuto’s chest, spreading warmth and electricity through his skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He used his grip on Akaashi’s face to push him back ever so slightly to lessen the pressure and adjust his jaw so he’d close his mouth a touch. The next kiss was executed significantly more pleasantly and Akaashi laughed against his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose I’m not very good at this,” he mumbled, not pulling away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto giggled giddily, “Lots of time to learn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi finally leaned away and Bokuto followed him closely, stealing another kiss from him between laughs. He kept his hands on Akaashi’s face and Akaashi kept his hands on Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look so happy. Happy looks </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>good on you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Akaashi whispered before pulling back and pressing his jacket into his chest. “Here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto took it and looked down at it before smiling again, flourishing it around Akaashi’s shoulders, “As far as I’m concerned, this belongs to you now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blushed and laughed, pulling it tightly around himself, “I have an exactly identical one, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but mine looks better, don’t you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced down to the larger version of the jacket he was already wearing, “So it does.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed loudly and kissed his forehead because he </span>
  <em>
    <span>could, </span>
  </em>
  <span>before taking him by the hand, “Come inside!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Actually… First. Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker cocked his head at the sudden shift in his tone, “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I— I know it’s a lot to ask, and really I should’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>led </span>
  </em>
  <span>with this, but. It’s really important to me— Do you think? Maybe—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto squeezed his hand, “Spit it out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not ready to tell people.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stared at each other for a long, long moment with the cold air cutting into the skin of their hands. Their joined palms remained warm, though, and that was nice. Akaashi didn’t waver under his gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Obviously, your parents and Kuroo. That’s fine. I more mean our teammates and classmates. I just don’t feel comfortable rushing into it until we know for sure that this can work. Is that okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto chewed at his cheek, resisting his immediate reaction of rejection and hurt. He stared into Akaashi’s eyes, searching for any sign of </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything, </span>
  </em>
  <span>really. His father’s voice came to him like a ghost in the howling wind.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Why rush something you want to last forever?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded slowly, no longer thinking about the upcoming times of sneaking around, but the times </span>
  <em>
    <span>after </span>
  </em>
  <span>that. He knew— and he’d known for a </span>
  <em>
    <span>while </span>
  </em>
  <span>by that point— that he and Akaashi were end game. They had a </span>
  <em>
    <span>long </span>
  </em>
  <span>time to be together publicly. If his setter insisted on proof of functionality, he would gladly give it to him. He’d give him </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>if he so much as hinted at it. Without hesitation or regret.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re okay with that?” Akaashi tentatively smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I just want to be with you, whatever that means. I told you I have your back, didn’t I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s smile presented itself in its full glory and Bokuto felt the bones in his knees turn to liquid. He looked down to where their hands were still joined and suddenly felt it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>hard to breathe.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Holy shit,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto resisted the urge to touch his lips where he still felt the tingle from the </span>
  <em>
    <span>far </span>
  </em>
  <span>too intense pressure of Akaashi’s kiss. He put his free hand in his pocket and formed a fist to keep himself from shaking. He couldn’t believe what was really happening. Obviously, he knew it’d happen, but— It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>crazy. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go inside, Bokuto-san. You look freezing,” Akaashi held their hands up and Bokuto was </span>
  <em>
    <span>horrified </span>
  </em>
  <span>to see his hand shook. “You’re shivering.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ace gulped and nodded to the best of his ability. He turned to the door and paused slightly with his hand on the doorknob before steeling his emotions. He pushed the door open, already yelling before they were inside, “Mom! Come meet Akaashi!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, we alr—“ Akaashi laughed as the woman presented herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Keiji-kun. Long time no see!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The past ten minutes truly have been strenuous on our relationship.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stared between them, nearly vibrating with excitement, “Oh, my god! You already love each other! I swear to </span>
  <em>
    <span>god </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’m dreaming right now!”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘So much for playing it cool.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Way to make it weird, dude,” Kuroo chuckled from where he sat on the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto beamed at him, ready to explode, “I don’t care! I’m so happy!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi and Bokuto’s mother laughed at him while Kuroo smiled on. The ace held up their joined hands and gestured to them, nearly jumping on the spot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, </span>
  <em>
    <span>come on! Look </span>
  </em>
  <span>at this! Isn’t it the greatest thing you’ve ever seen?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san, you’re over exaggerating again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto balked at Akaashi before laughing, “You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>under </span>
  </em>
  <span>exaggerating! Don’t be </span>
  <em>
    <span>insane, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi! This is the </span>
  <em>
    <span>greatest ever.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi simply smiled up at him, “Sure, Bokuto-san. The greatest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ever,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto leaned into him, staring at his face, eyes darting over his features wanting to memorize them </span>
  <em>
    <span>immediately. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He just about </span>
  <em>
    <span>died </span>
  </em>
  <span>when he noticed Akaashi had hardly visible freckles in the low light.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ever,” Akaashi nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s mom laughed and patted him on the shoulder, “I’m going to retreat to my </span>
  <em>
    <span>chamber </span>
  </em>
  <span>now. You boys have fun. Are you staying the night, Keiji-kun?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi startled, “Uh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto squeezed his hand tightly, “You don’t need to decide right now!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Akaashi whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They shouted goodnight to his mother and she departed up the stairs. Bokuto never dropped Akaashi’s hand as he dragged him to a separate couch from Kuroo and sat next to him. He leaned forward and smiled at Kuroo, gesturing down to their joined hands with his eyes. Kuroo stared between them with a strained smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, this is weird.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Agreed,” Akaashi said, gently removing his hand from Bokuto’s much to the spiker’s chagrin. “Should we study?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nerd,” Kuroo muttered, standing and walking to his books with his hands in his pockets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looked at Bokuto inquisitively and the ace merely shrugged. They stood and joined him in the kitchen, Bokuto sliding in front of his long abandoned books. Akaashi sat closely beside his ace and leaned to look down at his work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, that’s pretty good, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right? And he did it all himself,” Kuroo knocked on the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Really?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi smiled at him. “That’s amazing!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stared down at him and pressed his lips together, “Okay! I can’t do this!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sat back, panic in his eyes, “Do what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto pointed at Kuroo, “He helped me a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I still have no idea what I’m looking at!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo sighed and slapped his forehead, “Dude.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto tipped his chair back and threw his arms out, “I couldn’t just </span>
  <em>
    <span>lie! </span>
  </em>
  <span>Besides, Akaashi is too smart. He’d definitely notice when the next time we studied that I couldn’t answer a single question.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I definitely would,” Akaashi nodded, leaning back in. “What don’t you understand?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto beamed at him, “All of it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After about forty five minutes of </span>
  <em>
    <span>painful </span>
  </em>
  <span>explanations, Bokuto threw his pencil down. He sighed loudly and put his head in his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>get it! </span>
  </em>
  <span>What the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell </span>
  </em>
  <span>is this? Who needs it? I’m suing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Suing </span>
  <em>
    <span>who?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kuroo squinted at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The president? God? I don’t know! I just don’t understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, one more time, then,” Kuroo sighed, poking at Bokuto’s paper with the eraser end of his pencil. “Stoichiometry is how we measure the amount of each substance that is involved in a chemical reaction and the amount of products that reaction produces.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Bokuto glowered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What unit do we use to measure that, Bokuto-san?” Akaashi asked gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker crossed his arms, “A mole.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good!” They smiled at him, finally getting a smile back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, I remembered it because of the animal. You know, like the star nosed ones? Those dudes look </span>
  <em>
    <span>gross, </span>
  </em>
  <span>for real.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo and Akaashi’s smiles wavered as they blinked at him and Kuroo cleared his throat, “Right. How many molecules does </span>
  <em>
    <span>one mole </span>
  </em>
  <span>account for? So how much is a mole worth?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glared, “I don’t know. A stupid amount.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi patted his back and started leading him into it, “Six…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stared blankly at him and Akaashi looked at the table defeated before whispering into his folded hands, “6.022·10 to the power of 23.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That’s not even a real number!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto anguished. “Don’t even lie and say you can picture that number! It isn’t real, so, </span>
  <em>
    <span>why?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait until you hear about </span>
  <em>
    <span>imaginary </span>
  </em>
  <span>numbers,” Kuroo smiled at the laugh he got from Akaashi.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Imaginary numbers?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto balked between them. “You’re lying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, he’s right. That’s a real thing,” Akaashi nodded and gestured to Kuroo who beamed at Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ace shook his head angrily and took out his phone to google it, “You’re playing me right now. There’s no way— </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why? Why? WHY? Are there not </span>
  </em>
  <span>enough </span>
  <em>
    <span>numbers already?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They laughed loudly at Bokuto as he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>genuinely </span>
  </em>
  <span>outraged by the concept. He ranted for about five minutes until the front door opened.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“—I mean seriously! </span>
  </em>
  <span>What the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck? </span>
  </em>
  <span>This is outrageous! There’s literally </span>
  <em>
    <span>infinity </span>
  </em>
  <span>numbers and they want </span>
  <em>
    <span>more? </span>
  </em>
  <span>I don’t want to live in a world where—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kōtarō, watch your mouth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all looked up at his father, surprised. The man looked positively worn out as he placed a book bag on an empty chair. He leaned onto the chair and glanced at the books.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Math?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Chemistry,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto hissed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I can help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, dad, eat something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man waved a hand at him dismissively, but Kuroo took it upon himself to prepare a plate of leftovers for him anyway. He took the book from Bokuto and read over the page. When Kuroo placed the food in front of him, he pushed the book back and moved his bag before slumping into the chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Tetsurō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, no problem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He picked up his chopsticks just as Bokuto leaned back over the page, not wanting his dad to think he was a hopeless idiot. He’d be so disappointed if he knew he couldn’t understand basic high school chemistry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What don’t you understand about that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All of it,” Bokuto muttered, glancing up at his dad as he chewed on a piece of fish, heart falling as his dad slowly nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Bokuto breathed, accepting and appreciating the feeling of Akaashi’s foot on his own under the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe because chemistry is </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid garbage.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi covered his mouth as Bokuto laughed loudly and Kuroo smiled at him. His dad pointed to the textbook with his chopsticks and spoke around the fish in his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, tell me how chemistry is just </span>
  <em>
    <span>math </span>
  </em>
  <span>before I take it. Not </span>
  <em>
    <span>after </span>
  </em>
  <span>I sign up. False advertisement. I had half a mind to sue.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right?” Bokuto sat straighter, “Like, hello? What’s a mole and why do I care?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right! Take the value of one mole and multiply it by </span>
  <em>
    <span>bullshit </span>
  </em>
  <span>to get the proper response. Garbage, seriously.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi leaned forward and smiled at Bokuto as he stared at his dad as if the man hung the moon and stars by himself. The interaction was sweet enough that Akaashi found he could ignore the incorrect, irresponsible nature of it. He also couldn’t help but notice they were almost the exact same person. Bokuto was a spitting image of his father, only taller, broader and </span>
  <em>
    <span>far </span>
  </em>
  <span>more muscular.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man caught Akaashi’s eye and pointed vaguely at him, “Who’re you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter quickly stood and bowed lowly to him, “I apologize, sir. I’m Akaashi Keiji, I play on Bokuto-san’s team.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man’s eyes widened and he quickly dropped his chopsticks and swallowed his food before standing and bowing back, “Oh, my goodness. I’m sorry. I’m Bokuto Ryota.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you sorry?” Akaashi furrowed his brow once he straightened out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, it’s just—“ The man caught his son’s eye who vaguely shook his head. “I’m just stupid. Ignore me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Akaashi said quietly, sitting down again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glanced back at Akaashi and beamed back at his dad, “Guess what!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” The man picked at his food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We kissed!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo slapped his hand over his mouth as he took in the varying reactions of the people at the table. Ryota stared between them with wide eyes, while Bokuto brimmed with pride and Akaashi slunk down with red cheeks, entirely mortified. Kuroo bit his tongue in an effort to not </span>
  <em>
    <span>die </span>
  </em>
  <span>of laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That so?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep!” Bokuto beamed and slapped Akaashi across the back making him blush harder, “Life is </span>
  <em>
    <span>good. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Except for… </span>
  <em>
    <span>chemistry.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His dad nodded solemnly, “Chemistry </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>a bitch. You need it, though! Don’t give up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto nodded, “Right, but I’m giving up for tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo tuned them out and zoned his attention on Akaashi. He leaned on his hand and stared at the setter brazenly. He was so </span>
  <em>
    <span>average. </span>
  </em>
  <span>His hair was dark, medium length and curly. Maybe </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>was a bit interesting. His eyes were blue, which was uncommon but not </span>
  <em>
    <span>special. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He wore </span>
  <em>
    <span>two </span>
  </em>
  <span>Fukurōdani jackets, which </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>special, but not in a good way. He fidgeted awkwardly with his fingers as his cheeks finally began returning to a normal color again. He didn’t know what Bokuto saw in him. His friend acted as if the guy arranged the heavens with his own hands and personally spun the earth around the sun. Kuroo didn’t see it. It simply didn’t check out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto turned his attention back to them, “Hey, let’s watch a movie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What movie?” Kuroo asked flatly, still staring at Akaashi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced at Bokuto, but did a double take at Kuroo as he noticed him staring. He shifted uncomfortably as he looked back at his ace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Bokuto said. “What movies are good?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“The Irishman,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kuroo said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That movie </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>good,” Akaashi agreed. “But it’s really long.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto perked up. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“21 Jump Street!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Kuroo shrugged, sitting back and crossing his arms as his eyes bored into Akaashi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter shifted again and met Kuroo’s eyes for all of an instant before nodding at Bokuto with a frail smile, “Sounds fun, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They collectively nodded and Kuroo watched as Bokuto wrapped an arm around Akaashi as they made their way to the living room. Ryota stopped him before he got too far and Kuroo leaned down so he could whisper to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keep an eye on ‘em for me, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No problem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo sat on a separate couch from Akaashi as he removed </span>
  <em>
    <span>both </span>
  </em>
  <span>jackets from his shoulders, exposing a </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>boring plain navy t-shirt. He recognized his exact outfit from their training camp. Did he even own other clothes? Bokuto ran around the room, turning out the lights and collecting blankets before setting the movie up on the television. He sat heavily beside Akaashi and dragged him into his arms as the film began.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced up and smiled at him, resting easily into his arms. Well, maybe not </span>
  <em>
    <span>too </span>
  </em>
  <span>easily. The way Kuroo still stared at him was slowly cutting him into strips. He placed his hands lightly over Bokuto’s forearm that held him around the chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A quarter way into the movie, Akaashi became restless. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted </span>
  </em>
  <span>to just relax and enjoy it, but all the tasks that’d been piling up weighed heavily on his mind. He was officially behind in so many classes. Especially German. Switching to booklets seemed like a good idea, because volleyball made him happier but he had a certification exam coming up. He worked too long at the language to </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>get an updated certification. He mentally ran down a list of vocabulary sheets and words. He cringed and became more irritated each time the movie got too loud or Kuroo and Bokuto made a joke, dragging him out of his thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stumbled forward as Bokuto gently pushed him up to go get them all drinks. Akaashi wouldn’t admit it, but he was secretly thankful. It felt like a lot of pressure. Especially with the way Kuroo kept looking at him. He wasn’t sure why the guy seemed to dislike him, but it </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>bother him. He shifted to the arm of the couch and removed his phone from his pocket, opening his online booklets. He quickly began devouring the content as studying was what he knew and brought him peace of mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was knee deep in an article about drugs in sports when Bokuto returned. The ace frowned down at him as he held a water bottle to him. Akaashi recognized it as Bokuto’s favorite one. Black stainless steel with the sticker of a woman’s face. He took it with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you bored?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto leaned one hand down onto the arm of the couch and pressed his forehead against the top of his head to get a look at his screen. Akaashi chuckled as his face contorted into confusion and he turned to look at it the right way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, no. It </span>
  <em>
    <span>doesn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>make more sense this way. What </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“German.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re studying?” Bokuto sat directly beside him and wrapped an arm casually around his shoulders. “Please tell me you’re studying and not just reading that for fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>fun, but yes, I am studying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you just relax?” Kuroo asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They looked up at him and Akaashi quickly turned his screen off, “I just have a test coming up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just high school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi shrugged, “I’m getting certified in it. It matters to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto gaped at him, “So, like, you’re so good at German that you can </span>
  <em>
    <span>speak </span>
  </em>
  <span>it speak it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to be bilingual?” Kuroo slumped further into the couch and stared at him, appearing bored.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am </span>
  </em>
  <span>bilingual. Trilingual, actually,” Akaashi said. “But, yes. I actually took the test a year or so ago. But I would like to reevaluate my level. I’m hoping to place at a C1 this time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C1?” Kuroo shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, so right now I’m only a B1, but I’d like to prove that my level moved up. A B1 is intermediate but a C1 is advanced.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow!” Bokuto beamed before looking at Kuroo, “Isn’t that </span>
  <em>
    <span>awesome?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Kuroo shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto smiled at Akaashi, “Study if you need to! I’d offer to help, but…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Akaashi smiled sweetly. “That’s okay, Bokuto-san. Thank you, though!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shifted to the other end of the couch as Akaashi returned to his article and stared at Kuroo over the arm of it. He slowly reached out and poked his friend in his bed head.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Psst, Kuroo,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, Bokuto?” Kuroo asked flatly.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Come get a snack with me.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo rolled his eyes and stood, “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They made their way to the kitchen, Bokuto bouncing and Kuroo moping. Bokuto searched the cupboard for a snack before catching a glimpse of Kuroo’s gloomy demeanour.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s up, dude?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothin’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto found a bag of rice cakes and threw it to Kuroo, “Bull. Spill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His friend sighed and lowered his voice, “Fine. I might be a bit jealous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed, “What? Because Akaashi is </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>amazing and he’s actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>mine </span>
  </em>
  <span>now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re partially right, surprisingly. It was fun to talk about Akaashi when we were in the same boat of being hopeless over our impossible crushes, but now that it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>happening… I don’t know, man.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto frowned, “Hey, don’t be that way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I’m sorry. I’m happy for you, but… I don’t know. Aren’t you a bit too good for him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Too good for him?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I mean. I don’t see what you do. He’s just so </span>
  <em>
    <span>boring, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto. I just really can’t see this working out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you saying that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s studious and practical. He couldn’t even watch a movie without whipping out </span>
  <em>
    <span>backup </span>
  </em>
  <span>homework. That isn’t you. How are you going to live that way? Never doing </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>but studying? It’ll kill you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto frowned deeper and crossed his arms, “Okay. I get what’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>happening here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo furrowed his brow, “You do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re upset because you think I’m replacing you. It’s not really about Kenma or even Akaashi at all. Well,” Bokuto beamed and wrapped an arm around Kuroo. “Don’t even worry, bro! You’re still my number one girl! That being said, you two are going to </span>
  <em>
    <span>bond. </span>
  </em>
  <span>For me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo laughed and allowed himself to be pulled back into the living room, “Yeah, sure. Anything for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s the spirit!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced up as the other boys rejoined him on the couch with Kuroo sitting uncomfortably between himself and Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Kuroo muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, hey,” Akaashi said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo leaned back and stared at the television screen, “So, why do you play volleyball?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like it?” Akaashi said, putting his phone away. “Why do you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Same reason.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cool.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all sat back and watched the rest of the movie in silence, the awkwardness weighing heavily on Akaashi’s chest. When the credits rolled, he nearly cried and thanked whatever deity existed. But then, Bokuto perked up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s watch the next one!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo and Akaashi met each other’s eyes and grimaced before reluctantly agreeing. Bokuto set it up and curled tightly under a blanket. Akaashi pulled his feet up and wrapped his arms around his knees as he stared at the screen. He honestly </span>
  <em>
    <span>could not </span>
  </em>
  <span>be bothered by the movie itself. It simply wasn’t interesting to him. That on top of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>very draining </span>
  </em>
  <span>day he had, he found his eyes drooping against his free will.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo glanced at Akaashi and leaned in as he noticed his hooded eyes. He glanced at Bokuto, who was fully engrossed in the story before leaning across him and stealing a different blanket off the other couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here,” he offered it to Akaashi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter glanced up to him before offering a small smile and reaching to take it. Kuroo furrowed his brow as their fingers brushed together and Akaashi curled into the throw blanket. He pulled the fabric up to his nose as he leaned back onto his knees. Kuroo willed himself to look away and back at the screen, suddenly very aware of his heat beside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All was well until Akaashi fell against his shoulder. Kuroo stiffened considerably as the setter’s hair brushed against his cheek. He glanced down and confirmed what he already knew, the guy was asleep and fell against him. Kuroo let out a breath and sent an anguished look Bokuto’s way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glanced over before his jaw fell and his eyes were replaced with hearts. He quickly threw his blanket off and rushed to get in front of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh, my GOD,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he whispered. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“This is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure—“</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Shh! You’ll wake him up!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo rolled his eyes before whispering harshly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Whatever. Just get him off of me.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Picture first!” Bokuto nearly shouted, immediately breaking his own rule.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto reached for his phone and snapped a quick photo of his </span>
  <em>
    <span>boyfriend— </span>
  </em>
  <span>at least, he thought— and best friend together. Akaashi looked like a sleeping angel and Kuroo looked absolutely irritated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed and gently readjusted Akaashi so he leaned on the arm of the couch rather than Kuroo and cringed as he stirred. He let out a relieved breath and stood slowly as he settled back down. He flicked Kuroo on the forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d </span>
  <em>
    <span>kill </span>
  </em>
  <span>eighteen men to have what you just had. You should be more appreciative.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah,” Kuroo dismissed as he stretched. “Not everyone thinks Akaashi’s as great as you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone </span>
  <em>
    <span>should </span>
  </em>
  <span>think Akaashi’s as great as I do, though!” Bokuto practically sang as he fawned over the sleeping setter, gently adjusting his curls away from his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Totally,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kuroo drawled sarcastically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto went back to his seat and crossed his legs over Kuroo’s lap, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Speaking </span>
  </em>
  <span>of people who think Akaashi’s as great as I do… The girl who has the locker next to his? Hot as fuck, dude.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo suddenly finally seemed interested, “Do tell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto leaned forward and peeked at Akaashi before lowering his voice, “Long hair, big eyes, </span>
  <em>
    <span>fat </span>
  </em>
  <span>ass, and dude, her </span>
  <em>
    <span>thighs.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo laughed, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Nice.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto crossed his arms, “Too bad she was such an asshole. And also in love with Akaashi. Unredeemable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What makes you say that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She was, like, </span>
  <em>
    <span>on my dick </span>
  </em>
  <span>about him, dude. I was in his locker getting my shit and she was being protective as </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Asking me a million questions about everything. Like, </span>
  <em>
    <span>chill.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe she was weirded out that some weird guy she’d never seen before was trying to get into someone else’s locker?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Listen,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto held a hand up. “Trust me. Then she kept going on about how Akaashi stopped caring about some shit for volleyball like it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>fault. I mean, </span>
  <em>
    <span>seriously!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo blinked slowly at him, “Isn’t it your fault, though?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Of course it’s not my fault,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto glared at him. “Whose side are you even on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Reason?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto punched him hard in the arm, “Wrong answer. You’re on </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>side! What kind of girlfriend even </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo laughed, “Yeah, yeah. My bad. You’re right, everyone else is wrong. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t believe </span>
  </em>
  <span>she did that to you! At least she was hot when she did it, though. Ya know, in her defense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto nodded gravely, “Hotness always comes at a steep price.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo laughed again as the ace leaned forward and looked towards Akaashi. He smiled largely and sat back with crossed arms, keeping his eyes on his setter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unless, you know… It's me or Akaashi. We are </span>
  <em>
    <span>literally </span>
  </em>
  <span>human perfection. It’s insane!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you don’t have any flaws </span>
  <em>
    <span>at all,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kuroo nodded, placing his hands over Bokuto’s shins.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude, I mean it,” Bokuto leaned forward and pointed at Akaashi, “Power couple. It’s like… If Beyoncé got together with… Beyoncé. There’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing </span>
  </em>
  <span>we won’t be able to do. Really, it isn’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>fair </span>
  </em>
  <span>to everyone else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fair?” Kuroo raised his eyebrows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto sighed heavily and heaved himself up to crouch back in front of Akaashi and move his curls around again. He smiled as the setter swatted his hand away in his sleep before looking back at Kuroo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it isn’t fair. Because we’re going to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>good together. We’ll change the world! Mark my words, dude.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo looked at him skeptically before looking to the doorway where Bokuto’s father leaned. The man sipped on a cup of coffee and smiled brightly at his son. Bokuto furrowed his brow at Kuroo before turning and seeing his dad. His cheeks immediately flushed a bright red.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you up, dad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doing a two to ten shift up at the college before classes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Bokuto nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota walked into the room and placed his mug on a side table before crouching next to Bokuto and pulling him into his arms. The weight of his son sent him onto his ass, but he paid no mind. He held him tenderly in his arms, closing his eyes as he pressed his face into his hair. Kuroo smiled as Ryota smiled as Bokuto clung tightly to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, my boy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, too, dad,” Bokuto whispered into his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pet Bokuto’s back, “I spent the last few hours talking to your mother.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You make me very proud. So, so proud.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I’m not home more often. But I’m glad I could be here tonight. Even just a little.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am too. But don’t apologize. You’re working so hard. I know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota sat back to look at him, “It won’t be like this for much longer. Soon, I’ll be a high school graduate!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto beamed at him, “Yeah!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I’ll get a better job and I’ll have dinner with you guys all the time and I can come to all of your games. It’ll be great. Don’t you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, duh! </span>
  <em>
    <span>Obviously </span>
  </em>
  <span>I think so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They laughed for a minute before Ryota looked up at Kuroo, “I’ll watch you games, too. Ya know, if you ever go to Nationals.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo balked at him before settling into a smile, “Next year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better be! It’s your last shot!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you coming for me, old man?” Kuroo laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just want you to do everything your capa—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their heads all snapped over to Akaashi, whose phone rang loudly. Bokuto furrowed his brow as he retrieved his phone </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>picked up the call without ever opening his eyes. He pressed the phone to his ear and Bokuto gaped as his voice sounded as if he hadn’t been sleeping at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto caught Kuroo’s eye, who looked every bit as bewildered as him. They looked back to Akaashi who slowly pushed himself into a sitting position.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota slowly separated himself from his son and returned to his coffee cup. Akaashi rubbed at his eyes and stared blankly at the ground and Bokuto held back a giggle at how </span>
  <em>
    <span>cranky </span>
  </em>
  <span>he looked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, see you soon. Bye.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hung up the phone and looked around the room, becoming slowly more embarrassed with each person that was staring at him. He slowly put his phone into his pocket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, hey?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi!” Bokuto sat up straight and moved to crouch in front of him again. “You fell asleep on Kuroo! It was the </span>
  <em>
    <span>cutest </span>
  </em>
  <span>thing ever! Seriously! In the history of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>whole </span>
  </em>
  <span>world!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blinked slowly at him, sleep still heavy in his eyes, “You’re exaggerating again, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I’m not! Trust me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blinked at him again before turning to Kuroo and bowing his head, “I apologize for my invasive action, Kuroo-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo furrowed his brow and waved at him dismissively, “It’s fine, dude. Relax.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Akaashi nodded before standing and grabbing his jacket. “Thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stood and watched him as he zipped the jacket up, “Are you leaving?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded, “My mom wants me home. I appreciate you allowing me into your home, though. Thank you for hanging out with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto was about to tell him </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>to thank him and he should, in fact, be thanking </span>
  <em>
    <span>him </span>
  </em>
  <span>when his dad interjected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is your mom coming to get you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Akaashi glanced at him, apparently still embarrassed. “No, I’m going to walk. Th—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll walk with you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced at Bokuto before shaking his head, “That really isn’t necessary.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course it is w—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be ridiculous,” Ryota glared at Bokuto, shocking everyone in the room. “I’ll just drop you off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi quickly waved his hands in front of him, “I really don’t mind walking. Please, I don’t want to put you ou—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keiji— Akaashi? I don’t know what to call you, but,” Ryota held a hand out. “With all due respect, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please </span>
  </em>
  <span>chill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi dropped his hands and stared dumbly at him, “Yeah. Chill. Sorry. I’m chill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other three people in the room stared at his decidedly </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>chill demeanour before Ryota laughed loudly and slammed Bokuto in the chest and pointed at Akaashi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get it, I think. He’s funny.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto smiled but leaned in to whisper, “I don’t think he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>trying </span>
  </em>
  <span>to be funny, dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota looked back to Akaashi with wide eyes, who stood blushing and minutely shaking his head to agree with Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay!” Akaashi did his best to smile. “Sorry, I’m just very tired.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get you home, then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded and waved to Kuroo before following Ryota to the door with Bokuto in tow. They got their shoes on before Bokuto grabbed Akaashi by the shoulder and the setter looked up at him surprised. Ryota stared between them for a second before smiling awkwardly and opening the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll just go start the car.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, dad!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looked back up at Bokuto who placed a hand on his cheek. The ace frowned slightly at Akaashi’s trademark deadpan, flat expression. He hadn’t seen him execute it so </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfectly </span>
  </em>
  <span>since before they were even friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, something </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>wrong, then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi shrugged and reached his arms out to hug Bokuto, “I get really stupid when I’m tired. Forgive me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ahh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>bitchy,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto corrected and laughed when Akaashi pulled back to glare at him. The setter </span>
  <em>
    <span>broke </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto’s heart within the span of one second as he pushed his face into a </span>
  <em>
    <span>pout.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker’s brain short circuited at the sight. His chest constricted to the point where he couldn't suck in air any longer. The expression was new to him and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved </span>
  </em>
  <span>it. How was he </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>adorable </span>
  <em>
    <span>all the time?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto squeezed him tightly in his arms until Akaashi let out an involuntary squeak. The setter blushed deeply and shoved at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san, you’re killing me,” Akaashi wheezed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ace quickly let him go, “You were killing </span>
  <em>
    <span>me </span>
  </em>
  <span>with how cute you were being. Let’s call it even?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a loser,” Akaashi shook his head, but the corners of his mouth tilted up. “Your dad is waiting. Thank you for having me over and I’m sorry for falling asleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it was adorable. Come sleep here all the time,” Bokuto kept his arms around Akaashi’s waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi laughed. “I seriously need to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay, I’m letting go. See?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi raised his eyebrows at Bokuto’s unlifting grip on him, “No. No, I don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto hugged him closely to his chest, “I’m letting go. I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi rolled his eyes and looked up at him for all of a second before pressing a light and chaste kiss to his lips. He kept it short because his lacklustre performance from before weighed heavily on him. The shorter the kiss was, the less likely it was that Bokuto would make fun of him. He opened his eyes and laughed quietly at Bokuto who kept his eyes shut and followed his lips back, never allowing more than an inch to exist between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to go, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One more.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced nervously in Kuroo’s direction and was more than happy to see they were out of eye shot. He nodded slightly with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto wasted no time at all in pressing their lips back together, but for a much longer moment. Akaashi sighed against his mouth and moved his hands to twist them in his ace’s shirt. He pulled away and pressed their foreheads together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Goodnight, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Akaashi. But one thing first?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just one more.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed brightly and threw his head back, “So, it isn’t just spiking that goes this way with you, huh? One more. Then I have to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Bokuto smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s breath hitched as Bokuto took him by the jaw. His large hand stretched over his ear and into his hair while his thumb dug lightly into his neck. He was admittedly skilled at what he did, but that wasn’t surprising. It did, however, make Virginal Akaashi Keiji feel that much more insecure. Everyone needed to have a first kiss though and he was just glad he gave his to Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t shove away the need to smile as Bokuto kissed him. His lips were so soft, but that wasn’t surprising either. Bokuto took care of his body. He took a lot of pride in the way he looked and was </span>
  <em>
    <span>annoyingly </span>
  </em>
  <span>vocal about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His smile fell as Bokuto didn’t pull away after one kiss. His face heated up as the ace’s hand moved from his jaw and fell down to his clavicle. Akaashi moved his hands to Bokuto’s chest in a genuine attempt to push him away but fell victim to the firmness he felt there. He attempted to perform the best he could and simply hoped that Bokuto wouldn’t judge him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Any thought of people waiting for them simply no longer existed in Akaashi’s mind. Neither did school, or volleyball, or music lessons or his parents. All the events of the day washed away into the scent of fresh linen and mint. He didn’t remember that he was standing in the doorway, meant to be going home, as all he </span>
  <em>
    <span>could </span>
  </em>
  <span>remember was the way Bokuto’s touch felt against his starved skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He quickly moved his elbows up and pressed his forearms against Bokuto’s chest to keep a firm distance between them when Bokuto went to pull him in by the hips. He pulled away from the kiss and breathed heavily with a very red face as he looked over to the door. Bokuto laughed against his ear, making all of Akaashi’s problems that much more real.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter fully pulled away and turned around while he fanned at his face in an attempt to cool off. His face was the least of his issues, though. The very next thing he had to do was go sit beside Bokuto’s father in a car while he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>erect. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>obvious, </span>
  </em>
  <span>too. It wasn’t even like he could excuse himself to adjust himself or even ask Bokuto for the larger jacket without giving himself away. He sighed and resorted to flexing his thighs, hoping to draw the blood away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto wrapped his arms around Akaashi from the back, “What’s up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just making sure I didn’t forget anything,” Akaashi said. “I didn’t bring anything with me, did I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto hummed as he thought and Akaashi focused heavily on the strain in his thighs and smiled to himself as he actually felt it working. He was suddenly thankful for how long it took Bokuto to think about things. The embarrassment and shame probably helped, too, but he was crediting the flexing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I didn’t either. Anyway, your dad is waiting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Bokuto leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you at practice tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Akaashi nodded and felt it was appropriate to turn back toward him. “Please remember not to tell anyone. Just behave normally. Or… As normal as you </span>
  <em>
    <span>usually </span>
  </em>
  <span>act.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto nodded, “Yep. Normal. I can do that. I can… </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>brag about…” Bokuto sighed heavily. “How perfect you are and how I can kis—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto put his hands up. “I said I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can </span>
  </em>
  <span>do those things!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter attempted not to smile and mostly succeeded before patting his hair and turning away, “Good. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Akaashi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter opened the door and went to step out, but didn’t make it far as Bokuto grabbed onto his shirt. Akaashi looked back, prepared to scold him when he noticed the </span>
  <em>
    <span>shy </span>
  </em>
  <span>look on his face. Bokuto was </span>
  <em>
    <span>capable </span>
  </em>
  <span>of being shy?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, Akaashi, look. I—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi frowned as Bokuto broke their eye contact and ran his hand through his hair before rubbing his neck. The setter leaned in and tried to get him to meet his eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong, Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just… I really—“ Bokuto sighed and met his eye again with a small smile. “I’m really happy you came by.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am, too! But I really need to go. Your dad is probably getting impatient. I’m being really rude.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Bokuto whispered with a nod. “See you tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep! Thank you again!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto smiled after him as he waved and ran out the  door, closing it quietly behind him. Bokuto patted the door before making his way back to Kuroo, who was curled into the blanket Bokuto previously used. His legs were stretched across the couch and he scrolled on his phone while he chewed at this thumb nail. The spiker lifted his friend's feet and replaced them heavily on his lap as he threw himself down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I almost fucked up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How so?” Kuroo said, never looking from his phone or moving his thumb from his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I almost said </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘I love you’,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto whispered. “Which is </span>
  <em>
    <span>true, </span>
  </em>
  <span>but </span>
  <em>
    <span>god, </span>
  </em>
  <span>can’t be sayin’ that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo glared up over his phone, “You do not </span>
  <em>
    <span>love </span>
  </em>
  <span>him, Bokuto.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glared right back, “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do, </span>
  </em>
  <span>though. You just don’t get it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>get it. You’re just doing your Bokuto thing where you severely over exaggerate everything. You don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>love </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi. You don’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto frowned deeply at his friend, “What the hell? Why are you being like this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone </span>
  </em>
  <span>needs to say this to you, Bokuto.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Say </span>
  <em>
    <span>what, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kuroo?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re being a fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>dumbass.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto rolled his eyes largely, “Why do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>get to say you love Kenma, then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do </span>
  </em>
  <span>love Kenma. I’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>in </span>
  </em>
  <span>love with him, I don’t think. You can’t know that until you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>with </span>
  </em>
  <span>someone, I’m pretty sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, then I’m closer to in love than </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>are, ass face.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No, Bokuto,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kuroo huffed. “You literally haven’t even known him for a year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s almost been a— You know what? What is this really? Why can’t you just be happy for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I think you’re rushing and it’ll just hurt you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No? I’m moving at a pace that’s clearly </span>
  <em>
    <span>working.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi is like… Like this little… </span>
  <em>
    <span>Scared </span>
  </em>
  <span>little kid. It doesn’t matter what you’re going to do, he’ll always need three to five business days to make a small decision. You’re just wasting your time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glared harshly at him and shoved his feet off of his lap, “You know what </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, because you’re an idiot?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! I think you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>jealous. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You’ve been obsessed over Kenma </span>
  <em>
    <span>forever </span>
  </em>
  <span>and nothing ever happened. Now that I’m with Akaashi you’re bitter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo crossed his arms over his chest, “That isn’t it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. If that isn’t it, then apologize. You don’t have a real argument. You’re just being mean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo pursed his lips and shook his head, “Fine. You were right. Which is </span>
  <em>
    <span>amazing.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I might not be smart with </span>
  <em>
    <span>books, </span>
  </em>
  <span>but I can read you, douchebag.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not </span>
  <em>
    <span>might. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely </span>
  </em>
  <span>aren’t smart with books.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? You think you’re better than me with that there fancy book learnin’?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stared intensely at each other for a long minute before breaking out in laughter. Kuroo kicked his feet back up on his lap and nodded as he placed his hands behind his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As a matter of fact, I do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever. You’re stupid. Honestly, though, Kuroo,” Bokuto gripped his shin tightly in one hand. His friend tipped his chin to him. “I think you should just move on from Kenma. I think it’s making you a worse person.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shrugged and navigated </span>
  <em>
    <span>Netflix </span>
  </em>
  <span>on the television, “We don’t normally fight is all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We started fighting when you started on the Akaashi Keiji bullshit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Because,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto glanced at him. “You’re jealous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe actually just </span>
  <em>
    <span>ask </span>
  </em>
  <span>him to be with you. He probably just doesn't want to assume anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, maybe I’ll do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed quiet as their most current episode of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Gossip Girl </span>
  </em>
  <span>began playing. Bokuto kneaded absentmindedly at Kuroo’s leg as he watched </span>
  <em>
    <span>Blair </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>Serena </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dan Humphrey. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He pursed his lips at the screen, thinking about how Akaashi’s family was a lot like the </span>
  <em>
    <span>extremely </span>
  </em>
  <span>rich teens who lived on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if he says no, though?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glanced at him and shook his head, “Dan’s not going to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>no! </span>
  </em>
  <span>He’s totally i—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo kicked Bokuto in the ribs and the ace cocked his head at him before realization washed over his features.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ohhhh, Kenma!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then… I don’t know. Then he says no. Either way, you’ll get an answer. Right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stared at Kuroo’s depressed expression for a second before pushing one of his legs off his lap and took the other in his arm. He wedged himself between his friend’s legs and wrapped his arms around his waist before placing his head on his stomach. Kuroo stared down at him and ran his hands through Bokuto’s hair, covering his eyes with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for being a bad friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo shifted down on the couch and pulled Bokuto up so he’d stop pressing directly into his bladder with his ribs. They turned their attention back to their show with Kuroo still playing with Bokuto’s hair. The spiker adjusted his arms under Kuroo so his elbows wouldn’t get too stiff under his weight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have practice tomorrow, right?” Kuroo asked quietly, pressing his head into the pillow against the arm of the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm? Yeah. You can come.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I’ll just go home in the morning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“M’kay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both continued watching the episode with hooded eyes. Bokuto’s vision became hazy as sleep swirled in his vision then groaned loudly as the episode ended. Kuroo chuckled and disturbed their comfort greatly as he strained up to grab the remote. He started the next episode and Bokuto grumbled again as Kuroo sat back up to grab a blanket. His friend shifted even further under him and wrapped his outermost leg around his to keep it from falling onto the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto buried his face into Kuroo’s sweater and watched the screen through one half shut eye. Sleep lured him in and the heat and weight from both the blanket and Kuroo’s arms didn’t help. He allowed his eyes to fall shut and just felt Kuroo’s chest rise and drop with every breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ya know,” he mumbled. “Kenma should say yes. You’re kickass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’d be cool,” Kuroo muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And if he doesn’t… That just means someone else is waiting for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, bro,” Bokuto yawned and kissed whichever part of his friend was closest to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo laughed and patted his back, “Love you, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish you liked Akaashi, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think you could try being friends with him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Boku—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s important to me,” Bokuto peeked up at him through his bangs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kuroo sighed and nodded before putting his head back on the pillow, “Okay. I promise I’ll try.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto settled back into his chest and went back to listening to Kuroo breathe. His consciousness teetered off to the feeling of his friend brushing his fingers through his hair under the weight of a blanket. His heart felt entirely </span>
  <em>
    <span>full. </span>
  </em>
  <span>His soul shone with the realization that he could then have a whole new dream that night as a lot of them were realized merely hours before.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. THIS Is Who I Am</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>this is solidly my favorite chapter and i hope you love it as much as i do 💕</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Bokuto skipped to the gym the next morning, ignoring how tired his body was. Really, it was his own fault for staying up so late. The concept of seeing Akaashi kept him going, though. He had to keep telling himself to behave normally. If he blew it that meant that their relationship could potentially end before it even started and he did not want that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He got into the change room and was in his second to final step of changing when Akaashi pushed the door open. Bokuto beamed up at him as he more or less ignored his existence.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Ah, business as usual,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Akaashi!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto finished pulling his knee pads on as Akaashi got into his uniform. He smiled at him as he tied his shoes before doing the same.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would it be bad to kiss you if no one else is here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter’s head snapped up as his face flushed red. He thought for a moment before looking back down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto beamed and waited for him to be finished with his laces. Akaashi sighed and looked up as he approached, tilting his head back. Bokuto smiled lightly and leaned down before his ears pricked. He scowled deeply and turned away, taking a large step away from Akaashi and pretending to kneel and fix his laces. Their teammates loudly entered the room and started going through their bags after loudly greeting their ace and setter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto quickly moved out into the gym, but Akaashi stayed to talk with his teammates. He hadn’t seen them in a bit and wanted to catch up with them. He waved at Konoha, who laughed as he pulled his uniform over his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see you didn’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>need </span>
  </em>
  <span>me to make that offer a while back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi cocked his head, “Huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remember when you first joined the team and Bokuto wouldn’t leave you alone? I offered to help you come up with excuses?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Yeah, what about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Apparently you’re good at making up excuses on your own! Did you enjoy your break?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My break?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! Didn’t you blow off practice for that extra day to get a break from Bokuto?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No? I had an appointment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The all day appointment was </span>
  <em>
    <span>real?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Komi asked, genuinely surprised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course it was.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looked around at their skeptical faces with a frown. He stood and stretched his leg out behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I meant what I said back then, you know. It’s fun to practice with a star player.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Konoha pursed his lips, “Yeah, sure! I’m honestly surprised you like Bokuto at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s mind reeled. What happened to all the gay jokes? Were they really just </span>
  <em>
    <span>jokes?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Konoha and Komi shared a look and shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He literally didn’t even know your name for, like, what? Five or six months?” Komi giggled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was just pronouncing it wrong…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but still,” Konoha said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just a first year. I’m fortunate he knows my name at all. Or that I even get to play.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ya know,” Komi shrugged. “Bokuto </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>get you your position in the starting lineup. That’s a pretty good reason to like him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He did?” Akaashi faltered on his way to the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Konoha nodded and waved his hand at him, “Yeah! Remember that day he went all batshit over your tosses? He was like </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>but to our coach. And coach can’t just ignore claims like </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘If you let him play there’s no way we can lose’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘There’s just something about his tosses that makes me do better’. </span>
  </em>
  <span>So, ya know…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please,” Enatsu said bitterly. “It has </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing </span>
  </em>
  <span>to do with the tosses and we all know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Akaashi turned to his captain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothin’ against you,” he shrugged. “You’re a good setter, but clearly it’s just that Boku—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of their teammates all threw various objects at him— just whatever they held in their hands. Enatsu threw his hands up in surrender before going back to changing. Akaashi stared at them with a flat expression before humming and going out into the gym where Bokuto stretched. He jogged over to him and joined in on his stretches.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Bokuto breathed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Akaashi whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, he really </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>earn his position in the starting lineup. He should’ve just been happy to play, but the thought was still disappointing. Perhaps he was further behind Bokuto than he previously believed. They were finished warming up by the time the rest of the team emerged from the change room. Akaashi eyed Bokuto up from his peripheral and pursed his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Was all of his success in volleyball since he came to Fukurōdani directly attributed to his partnership with Bokuto?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Konoha,” Akaashi called. “Would you hit some sets for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, sure!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shook his head confusedly, “Aren’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>we </span>
  </em>
  <span>practicing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to practice with the other hitters as well, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ace stared after Akaashi as he went to Konoha. So, when he said he didn’t want to tell anyone he </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>meant he didn’t want anyone to know and would do anything to achieve that goal. Didn’t Akaashi know that leaning so hard the other way would tip them off just as well?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stared flatly at Enatsu as he approached, “Hey, Bokuto! I’ll toss for you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time they were changing once again, ready to depart home for lunch, Akaashi still hadn’t so much as spared Bokuto a single syllable. The spiker attempted to keep his annoyance under wraps but knew he wasn’t doing a great job at it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he wasn’t an actor. Sue him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slumped harshly on the bench and tore his knee pads off, glancing over to his setter. His breath hitched as he removed his shirt. It didn’t matter how many times he saw it happen— it took his breath away every time. He quickly averted his gaze lest anyone notice and Akaashi withdrew from him. He changed quietly and quickly left the room before he positively exploded. It was much harder than anticipated to keep his secret under his belt— and he anticipated that it’d be right adjacent to impossible. He waited just outside the gym doors and leaned against the wall in wait.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As expected, Akaashi was the next one out. He glanced at Bokuto, but kept walking. Bokuto furrowed his brow.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘He is </span>
  </em>
  <span>really </span>
  <em>
    <span>playing it safe.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto jogged to catch up and easily fell into stride beside him. He leaned forward to catch his eye but his setter quickly avoided it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Bokuto said, stopping him by the shoulder. “What’s happening?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going home. What do you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter pulled out of his grasp and trudged onwards again. Bokuto shook his head and stared absolutely confused. He ran to catch up with him once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you mad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not mad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re clearly mad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go away, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced back and quickly grabbed Bokuto’s sleeve and rushed them forward until they were safely out of sight. Bokuto smiled down at him when they stopped, starstruck by his deep eyes and light freckles. Oh, the things he wanted to do both </span>
  <em>
    <span>with </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>to </span>
  </em>
  <span>him. He shook his head quickly as he remembered Akaashi was angry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, </span>
  <em>
    <span>why </span>
  </em>
  <span>are you mad again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not mad. Just disappointed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought I got my position because I earned it, not because you </span>
  <em>
    <span>annoyed </span>
  </em>
  <span>our coach into it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto squinted at him, “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The other guys told me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Told you </span>
  <em>
    <span>what?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“That I’m only the starting setter because you went to the coach and told him how much you </span>
  <em>
    <span>like </span>
  </em>
  <span>me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh,” Bokuto laughed. “I mean… No?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glared at him as he shook his head, “Lying won’t help, Bokuto-san. You should’ve told me that I’m only starting setter because you have a </span>
  <em>
    <span>crush </span>
  </em>
  <span>on me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not lying,” Bokuto laughed louder. “What they </span>
  <em>
    <span>should’ve </span>
  </em>
  <span>told you was that I said I just do better when I’m playing with you and that your tosses make me play better. Also, that there’s no way we can lose when you’re setting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blinked irritatedly at him, “They </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>say that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what’s the problem?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I already told you what the problem is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay? But that isn’t what happened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi removed his hand and glared at him again, “How isn’t that what happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because? Remember when I told you your tosses are the best? I meant that. I wasn’t just saying it because I </span>
  <em>
    <span>like </span>
  </em>
  <span>you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, Bok—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto caught him by the shoulder before he could fully turn away, “I never really got along with Enatsu. He has a worse attitude problem than… </span>
  <em>
    <span>you, </span>
  </em>
  <span>actually.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Attitude problem?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi balked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed and gestured generally to him, “Uh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>yeah. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Attitude problem. I think it’s a setter thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So… </span>
  <em>
    <span>You </span>
  </em>
  <span>think </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>have an attitude problem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto nodded enthusiastically, “Yeah! But it’s okay! It’s cute!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sighed quietly and shook his head, “You really didn’t do it because you have feelings for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! Besides, he only agreed to a game. Our court chemistry— and chemistry </span>
  <em>
    <span>otherwise </span>
  </em>
  <span>spoke for itself!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! You </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely </span>
  </em>
  <span>earned your spot, so don’t say stuff like that anymore. Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi didn’t smile, but his lips did tilt up to the minutest degree. Bokuto beamed at him and held his arms out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I hug you now or what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed as Akaashi made absolutely no effort to hug him, but wrapped his arms tightly around him anyway. He squeezed him tightly to his chest and breathed in the scent of his coconut shampoo mixed with sweat and his general smell of the ocean. He smiled harder into his hair when he felt hesitant arms around his waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you wanna do now?” Bokuto muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go home and have lunch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to come to </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>house and have lunch?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi pulled away and blinked at him, “Uh. Not really, honestly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto frowned deeply, “Oh. How come?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just want to have lunch with my mom. Yesterday was tough, so I’d like to be there for her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is everything alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looked away from Bokuto’s bright eyes and to the ground before looking back up. If he was going to be with Bokuto, he figured he should start being completely honest with him. Only, not yet. It wasn’t time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll tell you soon, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay?” Bokuto took a small step towards him as Akaashi took a large one back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After dinner? When we study?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Bokuto beamed. “Yeah, that sounds great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi smiled back and leaned forward to place a small kiss on his cheek, “Okay. See you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto watched him go with a cheek aching smile until he couldn’t be seen any longer. He then turned and started off in the opposite direction, excited for time to pass. He couldn’t wait for Akaashi to </span>
  <em>
    <span>share </span>
  </em>
  <span>with him. The glass was nearly fully shattered, he could feel it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite that, he found the more he broke the glass, the further back Akaashi retreated. He was afraid to be seen, that much was obvious. He was afraid of the large, loud gesture of smashing into it with the intent to break it. Bokuto noticed if he stopped slamming on the glass, and instead patiently waited for Akaashi to approach him, he got better results. He was too impatient for that, though. He needed to try harder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kōtarō! Keiji-kun is here!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto jumped up from his bed and stared around his room, making sure all of his lewd materials and posters were hidden out of sight. He caught sight of a magazine poking out from beneath his bed and nudged it fully under with his toes before turning to his door. He barely made it into the hall before running into his mother who led Akaashi to his room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Akaashi!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi muttered, peeking around him to get a glimpse of his bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother did the same and nodded slightly, just satisfied with the hasty job he did cleaning up. Mostly she was just glad those damn posters were off his walls. She patted Akaashi on the back and shut the door the entire way. Akaashi glanced back, surprised by the gesture of entire privacy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared around the room, overly aware of the way Bokuto stared at him. He toyed nervously with the strap of his heavy bag as he took in the very messy space. He wasn’t surprised by the unfolded laundry strewn about, nor by the unmade bed. Least surprising but most pleasant of all were all the photos, medals and postcards stuck along the walls even if there were strange blank spaces every now and then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are we studying?” Bokuto asked, throwing himself onto the bed and pulling the blanket to the side so Akaashi could sit too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sat tentatively across from him and crossed his legs as he placed his bag in his lap. He took the strap off from around his chest and opened the bag up, removing a single notebook.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My family.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your family?” Bokuto beamed and leaned back on his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, you wanted to know, didnt you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I definitely do! But </span>
  <em>
    <span>only </span>
  </em>
  <span>if you’re ready to talk about it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blinked at the notebook and moved his bag to the floor, “As I’ll ever be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both shifted into more comfortable positions and Akaashi cleared his throat, “Okay, so. It’s a lot. Are you prepared?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. The reason I missed practice yesterday was because we had a therapy session with the entire extended family. My parents as well as Haku-kun’s and Kazuki’s.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto frowned, “How’d it go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About as well as you could expect. I lost my mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>lost your mind?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto gaped. “I can’t imagine that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Neither can I and I was there,” Akaashi whispered. “I don’t regret it, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you shouldn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Akaashi whispered. “I suppose we needed to do it in order to start a renegotiation of the custody agreement. However, I doubt anything will really come from it. Despite bringing up the family’s darkest secrets, the rules don’t quite apply to my father. That luxury comes with a particular tax bracket.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto nodded lightly and knocked Akaashi’s thigh with his foot. He beamed when the setter placed his hand gently over his shin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess I should tell you about those secrets, as that’s about all you don’t already know from demonstration.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Apparently my father’s affair went back all the way to before Kazuki was even born. It got me thinking last night… I wonder if Kazuki isn’t my stepbrother at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wonder if Kazuki is actually my </span>
  <em>
    <span>half </span>
  </em>
  <span>brother. I wouldn’t put it past Tomiko to lie on a birth certificate for extra child support.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto gaped. “You think your dad has a secret kid?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean… Tomiko was always adamant about us being brothers. I never paid much mind as she was just as adamant about being my </span>
  <em>
    <span>mother, </span>
  </em>
  <span>which is simply false. She never pushed that narrative with Haku-kun, either, but she more or less wrote him off after he got arrested. I’m not sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto held his hands up, “Arrested?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, right. Yes. That was when they </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>didn’t want him around. Initially they kicked him out when he crashed my father’s car, but when he was incarcerated, they wanted to legally disown him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Too much?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Too </span>
  <em>
    <span>fast. </span>
  </em>
  <span>How’d he crash your dad’s car?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On purpose. He was trying to die.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. They denied his father access to him, which was easy due to his own legal history. That made Haku-kun really sad a lot of the time. He had enough one night and stole the car.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow,” Bokuto breathed. “But he seems so happy!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi eyed Bokuto wearily, “No one is ever truly as happy as they seem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker shifted uncomfortably under his intense gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway,” Akaashi looked back to where he ran his finger along the edge of his notebook. “They say they sent him back to his father to appease him, but really it was because my dad was angry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Then he got busted with marijuana. He says it helps with his nerves. He was never quite the same since the crash, which is reasonable. He was arrested right after turning eighteen so he was tried as an adult and was given a year in jail. He got out on good behaviour, though. He’s a good kid, really. But he did ten full months and only recently got out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that why you were so weird when he offered us some weed?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded, still looking down, “He’s on probation. I didn’t want either of us to be the reason he got sent back. I’ve never been high so if I partook for whichever reason, I’d certainly get him caught.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto nodded and sat forward, offering a hand out to him, “Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi gripped onto him, “Honestly? Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I really opened up and got it out there. It was scary… It still </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>pretty scary, but it felt nice. It’ll be hard next time I have to see them, but I’m just hoping they’ve written me off as well. At least I get to come home at the end of the weekend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a really strong person, you know that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi finally looked up as Bokuto squeezed his hand, “No, no. Really it's Haku-kun. He did this all first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto smiled brightly at him, “It doesn’t have to be one or the other, Akaashi! You’re both great!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter finally smiled, even if it was weak, and put his notebook aside. He pulled Bokuto forward and the spiker was more than happy to wrap his boy in his arms. Akaashi sighed into his collarbone and squeezed him across his back, melting the spiker over and over again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there anything else you want to tell me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi slowly shook his head, “I’d prefer to study a </span>
  <em>
    <span>real </span>
  </em>
  <span>subject now if that’s alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course it is! What’d you have in mind?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sat back and grabbed a book from his bag and presented it to Bokuto who immediately scowled at it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Math,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he spat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Math!” Akaashi laughed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stared at the ceiling in genuine emotional distress while Akaashi stared intently at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san,” he sighed before repeating the question for the fifteenth time. “Find the constant k so that : -x^2 - (k + 7)x - 8 = -(x - 2)(x - 4).”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto sighed loudly and threw a random number out, “17.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sighed and leaned on his hand, “No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>it then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-13.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“How?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto all but shouted at the ceiling. “Can’t we do something </span>
  <em>
    <span>easier?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to know how to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>this, </span>
  </em>
  <span>though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it doesn’t make sense,” Bokuto threw himself forward and stared at Akaashi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter pursed his lips slightly as he stared at his ace with a blank expression. He sighed slightly and blushed brightly as he had an idea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Bokuto beamed. “Has my beauty </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally </span>
  </em>
  <span>distracted you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Akaashi said flatly then ignored Bokuto’s pout. “I’ll make you a deal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker perked back up, “Interesting. Go on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For every question you get right, I’ll allow you to kiss me once.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto sat back and blinked at him before smiling devilishly and grabbing his long abandoned pencil, “Deal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Akaashi barely grinned back. “Find b and c so that the parabola with equation y = 4x2 - bx - c has a vertex at (2 , 4).”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto appeared ill as he scribbled into his notebook. After a </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>long moment, something upwards to seven minutes, Bokuto looked up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“B is -16 and C is 20.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So close!” Akaashi smiled at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto cursed and looked back down, redoing the question and taking even more time to complete it. He smiled up at Akaashi, entrapping him in his bright gaze, and slammed his pencil down onto his notebook.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“B is </span>
  <em>
    <span>positive </span>
  </em>
  <span>16 and C is </span>
  <em>
    <span>negative </span>
  </em>
  <span>20.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes!” Akaashi clapped. “See? You </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>able to—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto reached across the space separating them and pressed his lips tenderly to Akaashi’s. The setter let out a sharp exhale as his hand easily found its way to Bokuto’s cheek, immediately sucked into the closeness of his heat. He broke his own rule with little to no prompting, allowing Bokuto to steal three more kisses than he originally agreed to. He pulled away from his spiker but quickly leaned back in to press one more kiss to his lips before sitting fully back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, good,” Akaashi blushed, wiping at his face with his sleeve. “Next question—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have an even </span>
  <em>
    <span>better </span>
  </em>
  <span>idea,” Bokuto beamed at him, leaning down to meet his downturned eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s that?” Akaashi whispered to his notebook. “And it better be math related. We’re supposed to be focusing on math.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto beamed and clapped his hands together loudly, “That’s the best part! It definitely includes math!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looked up skeptically, “Oh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Bokuto smiled. “It’s called </span>
  <em>
    <span>simple addition.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi shook his head and furrowed his brow, “Would you care to elaborate?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure!” Bokuto smiled larger and leaned forward, taking Akaashi’s chin in his hand. “Okay, so you.” He leaned evermore forward and ghosted his lips over the setter’s, rendering him entirely powerless to his ace. “Plus me! What does that equal?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Akaashi whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, I finally have </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>stumped,” Bokuto chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s heart pounded, wishing he’d just get on with it, “Yeah, you do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto slipped his eyes shut and smiled powerfully, “You plus me equals </span>
  <em>
    <span>us, </span>
  </em>
  <span>duh. That’s the easi—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi wrapped his arms around Bokuto’s neck and pressed his lips to his. Partly because he was being </span>
  <em>
    <span>far </span>
  </em>
  <span>too cheesy and partly because he was entirely charmed by it. Their textbook and notebooks jabbed into them awkwardly as Bokuto pulled him closer, but they paid no mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re actually dumb,” Akaashi laughed against his lips, cheeks burning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Worked, didn’t it?” Bokuto laughed right back, toying his fingers across Akaashi’s side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His words sent tingles through Akaashi’s body, along with the heat his fingers caused. He curled his fingers into Bokuto’s shirt as he pushed the books aside and was more than ecstatic to do so.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was when he attempted the next step of deepening their kiss that he lost Akaashi. The setter felt his tongue against his lip and hastily pulled away from him, creating a large amount of distance between them. Bokuto frowned at him as they caught their breaths.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did I overstep?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He frowned further as Akaashi never answered him, instead reaching for the textbook and taking a large breath in, “Simplify | - x2 + 4x - 4 |.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their heads snapped up from the textbook when his mother knocked at the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kōtarō, can I come in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pushed the door open and looked genuinely surprised to see the boys weren’t even close to touching each other and were actually studying out of real books. She smiled warmly at them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dinner soon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we have it up here? I’m actually kinda starting to get this,” Bokuto gestured to the notebooks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded enthusiastically, “Yes, of course! Keiji, what would you like to drink?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever Bokuto-san has would be fine,” he bowed to her. “Thank you very much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled and nodded before turning back around, closing the door behind her. Bokuto smiled warmly at Akaashi and leaned on his hand to stare at him. Akaashi shifted uncomfortably under his intense gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker shrugged and smiled larger at his reddening cheeks, “Nothin’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like it when you look at me like that,” Akaashi muttered as he averted his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How come?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi shrugged and busied himself with his pencil. He didn’t write anything, he simply fiddled with it. Bokuto didn’t let up on his staring. Akaashi would simply have to come to terms with it. If he didn’t want to be stared at he shouldn’t have been so goddamn beautiful. The setting sun cast two long strips of gold across him, warming his skin and showing his hair was a deep, rich brown beneath the black. The blue of his right iris lit brightly, more beautiful than the ocean he smelled of. The freckles on that side of his face were hardly visible over the pink that dusted his cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto slowly reached out and pulled his face up by his chin, “Akaashi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san,” he whispered, meeting his eye levelly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really ought to start looking up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think so?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto nodded slightly, “I think so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi smiled softly at him, “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto smiled at Akaashi’s smile until the setter smiled no longer. The spiker reached out and poked him in the shoulder. He couldn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>believe </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi Keiji was on his bed. He couldn’t believe he </span>
  <em>
    <span>kissed </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi Keiji on his bed. He had to have been dreaming, surely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san, you’re creeping me out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed loudly before attempting to avert his gaze, but was never successful for more than a few seconds. The stripes of gold slowly moved down Akaashi’s face, and highlighted the deep pink of his lips rather than the brilliant blue of his eyes. Bokuto wanted to cry just looking at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we go back to doing math now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto didn’t say anything as he stared at Akaashi, wanting to remember his face exactly as it was. How’d he get so lucky to not only be born into the same time and place as him, but to so much as cross paths with him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi furrowed his brow and placed his pencil between his lips before running his long fingers through his curls. Akaashi tried the best he could to focus on his math before huffing and glaring up at Bokuto, but faltered nearly immediately. The spiker leaned forward and stared at him with soft eyes and no discernible expression on his face. Bokuto </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>had a readable expression on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously. Why are you looking at me like </span>
  <em>
    <span>that?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like what?” Bokuto whispered, hardly moving his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like… </span>
  <em>
    <span>that,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi gestured to his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s expression didn’t shift in the least as he shrugged, “I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You definitely know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just…” Bokuto exhaled sharply through his nose and the left side of his mouth tilted up, “I’ve never met anyone more impressive than you. I doubt I ever will.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi furrowed his brow. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Impressive? </span>
  </em>
  <span>That was hardly the word he’d use to describe himself, however… It felt nice. As far as Akaashi was concerned, there was nothing innately </span>
  <em>
    <span>special </span>
  </em>
  <span>about him. He was merely a mosaic of skills that were forced upon him and services he could provide. Surely Bokuto couldn’t really be talking about his </span>
  <em>
    <span>person, </span>
  </em>
  <span>but it still made him feel… Seen. Though it could’ve just been the way the spiker stared right through him with his piercing eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto was always forthright about compliments. From the day they met Akaashi was aware of that fact. He liked building others up, which was nice at first glance. Once you spent more time around him it seemed as though he only built them up because the better the people around him were the better his reign was. If someone was going to be better than everyone around them, those people better be pretty damn good themselves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That being said, it didn’t seem </span>
  <em>
    <span>deliberate. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto was the type of person to really </span>
  <em>
    <span>believe </span>
  </em>
  <span>the things he says. No matter how exaggerative or how often his opinion actually changed, he seemed to always mean the things he said as he said them. He simply didn’t have the wits to lie. Not about things that mattered, anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s eyes raked over his features. The golden light on his skin was the warmest honey he’d ever witnessed, only next to his eyes. His eyes were shockingly deep for how shallow Bokuto always seemed to him. It wasn’t that he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>shallow, </span>
  </em>
  <span>it was just that there was nothing hiding under the surface. You never had to dig with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He avoided his bright eyes as he took in the thickness of his frame and the way his shirt hung loosely around his shoulders, exposing the deep contours of his clavicle and neck. His coral lips shone warmly in the setting sun. The tips of his hair were once again translucent under the light.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to reach out and touch him, but he was afraid. He was afraid of having something good within his grasp, but the second he seized it, it disappeared. That was the way things went. He decided that long ago. Only, he didn’t want Bokuto to go anywhere. Not ever. He feared that if he reached out to Bokuto in that moment that he would break everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto finally broke and laughed loudly, “Okay, okay! I get it! I’ll stop staring.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi frowned as Bokuto looked away from him and picked up his pencil once again. He frowned deeper as his spiker began working in his book again. He stared hard at the way he held his hand awkwardly around his pencil. He bit the inside of his cheek as he thought of anything he could say. It was unnerving to say the least when Bokuto was silent— especially when he was silent in favor of </span>
  <em>
    <span>voluntarily </span>
  </em>
  <span>studying. He just wanted him to talk again, but he couldn’t find his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed silent for a long while before Bokuto held his notebook up to Akaashi with a proud smile. Akaashi took it gently from his hands and examined his notes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled smally at the scratched out letters and numbers and the new ones beside those that also got scratched out in favor of new ones. He wanted to laugh at the scratches. It was just such a </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bokuto </span>
  </em>
  <span>thing to scribble over them rather than use his perfectly good eraser that was only on the other end of his pencil.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced over the notebook, “Well, what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter looked back down to the math, mouthing along with the numbers as he read. He slowly nodded and reluctantly handed the notebook back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it’s right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto beamed, “Hey, hey, hey! I’m a </span>
  <em>
    <span>genius! </span>
  </em>
  <span>Look out, Einstein!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi couldn't even process the laugh that tore through his throat, let alone stop it. In fact, he couldn’t stop it for a long moment. Bokuto blinked at him at first but slowly fell into a laugh of his own. He kept his eyes on his setter as he laughed, though. A more beautiful sight simply didn’t exist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah,” Bokuto drawled as Akaashi still laughed. “I think you owe me something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi continued laughing until his face was red and he no longer produced sound. The spiker gazed on, growing concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, Akaashi. It wasn’t that funny.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter attempted to wave a hand dismissively at him, but his body was too weak with laughter to really be successful. Bokuto fell back into a wide smile as he snorted at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker leaned forward, entirely intent on taking the kiss he was promised. He frowned as Akaashi doubled over on himself in his laughing fit then laughed along with him again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C’mon, dude, get it together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto jumped slightly as Akaashi inhaled sharply and his laugh became audible again. He couldn’t stop his own laugh, but wished he could’ve. It covered the sound of Akaashi’s and he wanted to hear it fully. He pushed the setter up by the shoulders and laughed even harder at the sight of his red face and teary eyes. Akaashi gripped at his stomach as his abs burned with the persistent force of his laugh. He attempted to open his eyes, but the second he met Bokuto’s eye he devolved right back into his inaudible, jerky laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed hard and shoved him by the shoulder before ceasing entirely. He gaped at Akaashi, who quickly inhaled and pressed his hands over his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You just fucking snorted!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared at him with wide eyes as his face got redder beneath his hands. Bokuto leaned forward with a silent, shocked smile occupying his entire face. He slowly leaned into Akaashi’s space as he stared on in horror. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is… Is that your </span>
  <em>
    <span>real </span>
  </em>
  <span>laugh, Akaashi? Do you snort when you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>happy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi vaguely slowly shook his head and removed his hands from his mouth, not really committing to an answer one way or the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For some reason I just think…” Bokuto lunged forward and took Akaashi into his arms, tickling him wherever possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter thrashed in his arms, doing all he could to remove the spiker’s assaulting fingers from him. By the time Akaashi couldn’t breathe any longer, he attempted the best he could to fill his lungs. Unfortunately the force of his inhale came with another snort. His face went impossibly redder as he pushed at Bokuto who lost himself in his own laughing fit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi separated himself from the spiker at long last while he was distracted, but Bokuto didn’t let him get far. He grabbed him from around the waist and pressed into his back from behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glared back at his wheezing laugh, “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so </span>
  <em>
    <span>cute!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter’s smile officially became a relic of the past as he tried pushing away again, “I’m not cute, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s where you’re wrong,” Bokuto laughed, holding him firmly by the chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared down at the mattress as he felt Bokuto’s lips over his ear. He shut his eyes against the heat of his short breaths against his skin and gently placed his hands over Bokuto’s. His own breath hitched as Bokuto whispered to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re breathtaking, Akaashi Keiji. And somehow that isn’t even the most interesting thing about you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi squeezed his eyes tighter. He wasn’t sure whether to believe Bokuto or not, despite knowing that Bokuto wouldn’t lie about something like that. It was just that the spiker’s opinion conflicted against his own so drastically that even if he knew it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bokuto’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>truth, it still sounded like a lie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He merely sunk into Bokuto’s chest and stared down at their joined hands, appreciating his warmth very much. He ran his fingers over Bokuto’s arms, pushing the fine hairs around. He listened to his breath in his ear, counting each one to soothe his own nerves. He knew being with Bokuto would be a lot going into it, but actually experiencing it was something different entirely. Especially for his first experiences. It was like jumping from preschool to the end of high school in the matter of weeks. He couldn’t remember the last time he laughed that hard, nor who witnessed it last.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even still, when he felt his hand against his cheek, pulling his face over to his, he allowed it to happen. He gazed up at Bokuto, who stared right back at him. The spiker didn’t wear a smile at all. He appeared as serious as a heart attack. Akaashi furrowed his brow but Bokuto spoke before he had an opportunity to ask.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you understand how amazing you are?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi could feel himself retreating inward. Sure, Bokuto was being nice, but he was also being a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Too much. He blinked slowly, never adjusting his posture nor expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose I just don’t see what you see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto huffed and pursed his lips before moving forward and pressed a very faint kiss to Akaashi’s lips, stalling the setter’s heart. Akaashi moved his hand up to cover Bokuto’s on his cheek and leaned further into the kiss. It was very nice. Bokuto wasn’t rushing towards anything, he was merely enjoying the simple motion of being close to each other for a short instant. Akaashi wished it could always be that way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto pulled away, but didn’t open his eyes, “You know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know what?” Akaashi whispered, eyes shut as he brushed their noses together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You made me a promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sat back to look at him, but Bokuto held him firmly in place. Akaashi settled back in and ran his hand from Bokuto’s down to where his arm bent at the elbow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What promise?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About volleyball. That you’d be there when I realized how fun it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now I’m going to make you a promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi furrowed his brow but didn’t attempt to move again, “Oh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise I’ll be there when you realize how incredible you really are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s eyes snapped open and he pulled back to stare at Bokuto, “You really shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>will </span>
  </em>
  <span>keep it, though,” Bokuto beamed at him. “Someday you’ll see yourself how I see you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi pressed his lips together to keep from frowning too hard. He studied Bokuto’s expression and found what he already knew. The spiker full heartedly believed what he was saying. Akaashi shook his head and sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto wrapped both his arms </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>legs around Akaashi to squeeze him tightly. Akaashi struggled against him but Bokuto was unsurprisingly still much stronger than him. He relaxed and allowed it to happen for a moment longer before sighing again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re like an octopus, Bokuto-san. Let go of me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I’m just so </span>
  <em>
    <span>happy!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re always happy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m happier than normal, then. Better?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I say yes will you let go of me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll let go of you in exchange for one kiss.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a loser. Get off of me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kiss me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>kissed you a minute ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but that was so long ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared forward blankly before slowly blinking. Yes, Bokuto certainly was a lot to handle, but it was nice. No one ever wanted his attention so badly before. Bokuto </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>wanted his attention. Normally, he didn’t mind giving it to him, but when it was just them and there was suddenly an expectation of physical intimacy it just made Akaashi feel weird.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One,” he muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto quickly unwrapped himself from the setter and smiled at him, victorious. He eagerly pulled Akaashi’s face back toward him but the setter pulled back harshly with a glare on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you please relax?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto blushed, “Sorry. I’m just excited.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Akaashi sighed before placing his hand on Bokuto’s cheek. “Just…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker’s chest and face were on fire as Akaashi took control of the situation, turning slightly and leaning softly into Bokuto’s arms. He ghosted his lips over Bokuto’s for all of a second, before going in again with slightly more pressure. Bokuto’s heart burned with every ghosting of touch. He wanted just to push himself into Akaashi, but tried his best to relax and allow him the control. He wanted Akaashi to know he had an equal amount of power with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed against Akaashi’s mouth and pulled his shirt so he’d turn more into him, then smiled as it worked. He savored the feeling of his chest against his and the nearly overwhelming scent of his shampoo and… cologne? He smiled wider at the thought of Akaashi taking extra steps in his routine in anticipation of seeing him. He ran his hands lightly up the setter’s back and smirked at the trail of raised skin he left behind. He was so warm beneath his shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi pushed into the kiss with new intent. Bokuto dug his fingers into Akaashi’s soft skin and held him closely, accepting each kiss in stride. Akaashi breathed heavily through his nose as he moved further up onto his knees between Bokuto’s legs and wrapped his arms around his neck. His fingers played amongst the fine hairs at the base of his scalp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto moved his hands down from Akaashi’s sides and tucked his thumbs between his jeans and his belt, beaming as Akaashi pulled in closer, pressing their chests firmly together. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>such </span>
  </em>
  <span>a bad kisser, but it was the best sensation Bokuto ever felt. He chuckled against Akaashi’s mouth as the setter pressed into his mouth with so much pressure his own teeth cut into the inside of his lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger boy sat back with a very red face, swollen lips and a </span>
  <em>
    <span>different </span>
  </em>
  <span>look in his eye, “Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All words eluded Bokuto as he looked up at Akaashi. His regularly pink lips were red, as was the surrounding area. The redness in his face brought out the blue of his eyes beautifully. His teeth were hardly visible between his slightly parted mouth as he breathed heavily, hoping to fully fill his lungs with the air he’d been missing. All the gold from the setting sun was gone as it disappeared below the horizon, leaving Akaashi to bask in dim blue light as night presented itself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto wanted to cry looking at him. Again. The shadowy aura of the latening evening made him seem even brighter than he could've ever imagined. He slowly reached his hands up and placed them tenderly on his face and smiled softly at him. Surely his emotion was plain as day in his eyes, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t actually saying the </span>
  <em>
    <span>words </span>
  </em>
  <span>and Akaashi certainly deserved to know how loved he was on some level.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s voice was nothing above a whisper, but it sounded so loud in the silence of the room. Bokuto sighed and slowly sat up. The sheets rustled beneath his shifting weight as he wrapped his arms securely around Akaashi. He tucked his head into the crook of his setter’s neck and simply held him tightly. Akaashi slowly accepted his touch and returned it with a hesitant and light embrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto exhaled heavily against his neck and Akaashi glanced down at the top of his head to the best of his ability without moving away from his touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker took the setter by his hips and pushed him away so he sat back on his feet. Gold collided into gunmetal as severely as the first time it ever happened and every time after that. Bokuto huffed lowly and smiled as he averted his eyes. He ran the tip of his tongue over where his tooth cut the inside of his lip and smiled wider at the dull pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you call me that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi furrowed his brow, “It’s your name.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s so formal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter sat back further and shrugged, “Habit?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you call me Kōtarō?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi snorted slightly, “It’s so weird that that’s your name.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Bokuto balked. “Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just funny.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why is it funny, though?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stared blankly at him, “What’s wrong with my name, Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Nothing,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi laughed. “It’s just that I’m so used to calling you Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Say it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Say what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My name. I want to hear you say it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi frowned at him and mumbled, “Kōtarō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto beamed and threw his hands out, “See? It sounds so good when you say it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi smiled but shook his head, “I’m not calling you that, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s smile quickly collapsed, “Why not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because if I get into the habit of calling you Kōtarō then our teammates will catch on. I’m simply not prepared for that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto pouted at him, “Friends call each other by their first names all the time!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, fine. Whatever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this too much for you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hiding this from people? Do you regret agreeing to this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glared at Akaashi, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“No.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blinked in surprise at the very angry look, “Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just so hard not to talk about how great you are! You know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter blinked, “I do not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto groaned and threw himself back onto the pillows with his hands behind his head, “Yeah, well you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>used </span>
  </em>
  <span>to being quiet. It's hard for some of us. But I don’t want to blow it because I know you’re not ready and I respect that but—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s head snapped up as Akaashi climbed over his legs and sat lightly on his thighs, keeping most of his weight supported by himself. He stared down to where he picked the lint off of the hem of Bokuto’s shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe if you didn’t think of it that way it’d be easier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi took in a deep breath, feeling selfish and stupid, but pushed forward anyway. He was done not asking for the things he wanted. He needed to advocate for himself and there was no better starting audience than Bokuto. He wasn’t sure why, but the guy seemed willing to give him whatever he wanted. Or to at least </span>
  <em>
    <span>try </span>
  </em>
  <span>and give him whatever he wanted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe instead of you thinking of it as me being ashamed or embarrassed of this you could think of it as me </span>
  <em>
    <span>trusting </span>
  </em>
  <span>you with a secret that only </span>
  <em>
    <span>we </span>
  </em>
  <span>know, then it’d be easier to keep. You know? Because it isn’t that I’m ashamed or embarrassed. It’s just a big commitment to come out to everyone before we really know what </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shifted slightly under Akaashi, cocking his knee, causing the setter to slide forward slightly. He cleared his throat and took in Akaashi’s shy demeanour.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A secret only we know, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Akaashi smiled slightly. “Then it can be just you and me for a little while.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto mirrored his smile, “Us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Us,” Akaashi nodded, still staring down at where he picked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto placed his hands over Akaashi’s drawing his attention to his face instead, “I like that. I think I can do it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! It’ll just be us!” Bokuto beamed at Akaashi’s smile. “Well, us and Kuroo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s smile disappeared immediately, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Kuroo?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! He knows, too! Remember? You fell asl—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi waved his hands at him, “Yeah, I remember. He won’t tell anyone, will he?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, Kuroo’s pretending this isn’t happening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto blinked up at him, immediately regretting not thinking before speaking, “Uh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto dragged his tongue over his teeth, “Um. Wanna kiss again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What? </span>
  </em>
  <span>No, Boku—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C’mon, don’t worry about it. Kuroo’s an idiot and he isn’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>here. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You need to live in the </span>
  <em>
    <span>present, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi. Kiss me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi pressed his lips into a firm line as he stared down at Bokuto, then gasped as the spiker pushed him forward with his thigh. His hands fell on either side of Bokuto and he held himself up just above his face. He was about to get angry with him when he laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s laugh was something akin to… It gave Akaashi the same feeling he got when he… He sighed. Maybe the right word for it was ‘incomparable’. All he knew was it struck something deep within him whenever he heard it. It made him want to fold every time. Bokuto’s laugh made Akaashi feel like </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>could be that happy, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled down at Bokuto before leaning down and doing just that— folding. He kissed Bokuto tenderly with his hand on his cheek exactly </span>
  <em>
    <span>once. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He wasn’t about to get pulled into anything while he sat on top of him. He wasn’t ready to be in a position where Bokuto could </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel </span>
  </em>
  <span>his arousal. He wasn’t ready to move forward at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s head fell back onto the pillow and he smiled largely up at him as he ran his hands up Akaashi’s sides beneath his shirt. The setter stared down at him in the low light. He found the absence of brightness made it much easier for him to be in such an intimate situation. The darkness made him feel nearly invisible and as though his actions didn’t really </span>
  <em>
    <span>count. </span>
  </em>
  <span>There was some level of deniability in the dark.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cocked his head at Bokuto as he slipped his eyes shut and just ran his hands over his skin, tearing Akaashi apart on the inside. He was so… calm. How was Bokuto so secure and comfortable being so close to someone else? Though, that was one of his strengths. Being sociable. Trusting people. Bokuto was one of those people that other people just </span>
  <em>
    <span>noticed. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He was seen by others and he loved that. He was extremely vocal about how much he loved it, even.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi smiled at him, allowing the full extent of his emotion into his expression while Bokuto wasn’t looking. Then when he felt he had poured enough emotion out into the physical world, he moved to get off of Bokuto. The spiker’s eyes snapped open and his hands held him firm on his lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are you going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your mom will likely come up here soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So…” Akaashi glanced down at how he was on top of him. “I doubt this is a favorable position for us to be in when that happens.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d rather not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto sighed and removed his hands from his setter and put them back behind his head as he shut his eyes again, “Okay. Whatever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi slid off of his lap and stared down at him, wondering if his neurotic behaviour was a bad thing to have signed up for. It was one thing on the court but surely not something that belonged in a romantic partnership. He leaned down onto one hand and used the other to redirect fallen strands of Bokuto’s hair upwards.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you ever sit still, Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel like you’re always moving or fidgeting. Why’s that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Something like that coming from Bokuto-san makes me seem deeply troubled,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hadn’t noticed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, really? You’re always doing it, dude. Are you nervous or something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, right now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Always.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi frowned down and ceased his movement, “I haven’t noticed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto peeked up at him, “You don’t need to stop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi frowned deeper and continued playing vaguely with his hair and Bokuto closed his eyes again before tipping his head back into his touch. Akaashi eyed the way his Adams apple bobbed as he swallowed in preparation to speak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You haven’t noticed if you’re constantly nervous?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a real weirdo, Akaashi Keiji. It’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sat back and his hand faltered, “Was that a compliment?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto didn’t look at him as he smiled, fanning his fingers out beneath his head, “The best one I can think of.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi reluctantly smiled, “Thanks, then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto simply hummed as Akaashi ran his fingers through his hair. The setter blinked as the street lamps came on outside and vaguely lit the room in yellow light. Warm light was the best type on Bokuto. The light came in diagonally and stretched across his face and chest in two large strips, separated by the spot his curtains hung in the centre of the window. His thick eyelashes hung heavily on his cheeks, keeping Akaashi hidden despite the new lightsource.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you looking at me like that, Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter recoiled as he heard his own words parrotted at him, “Like what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed loudly, “I’m just playing. I felt you staring at me is all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto moved his hand out and blindly felt around until he felt Akaashi’s hair and moved it around to the back of his head before roughly pulling him down. He kept Akaashi close on his chest and exhaled sharply. Akaashi furrowed his brow but shifted into a lying position. At least if his mother came in he wouldn’t be straddling him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what I’ve wanted to do with you since a week into knowing you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Akaashi whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sleep with you—“</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>The setter sat up, outraged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed and tried pulling him back down, “I meant </span>
  <em>
    <span>literally </span>
  </em>
  <span>sleep with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Akaashi settled back into his chest, “We have slept together, Bokuto-san. At my dad’s. Remember?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shushed him, “Let me finish.” Akaashi nodded meekly. “Sleep with you, but, like, a nap. In the middle of the day. You always seemed so tired— and you still do— and you’re always so busy. I’m honestly </span>
  <em>
    <span>shocked </span>
  </em>
  <span>you’re not trying to make us study right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m bored of studying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed loudly, rumbling Akaashi’s head, “Seriously? Never thought I’d see the day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never thought I’d find something more—“ The word </span>
  <em>
    <span>important </span>
  </em>
  <span>died right on the tip of his tongue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi frowned at his own loose lips. Was it even true? Did he find Bokuto more important than studying? Bokuto shifted slightly and poked Akaashi in the arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You stopped talking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m aware.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you… Are you going to finish?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto frowned and his hand trailed after Akaashi as he sat up, but fell short as the setter moved just out of his reach. Akaashi stared down at the mattress.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Always looking down,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto anguished mentally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ak—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We really </span>
  <em>
    <span>should </span>
  </em>
  <span>be studying, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you said you’re bo—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s why we’re here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, no—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re supposed to be focusing on math.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stared at the ceiling and groaned loudly, “I </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew </span>
  </em>
  <span>I shouldn’t have brought it up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to pass your exams, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he sighed. “But we made a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot </span>
  </em>
  <span>of progress today and I don’t want to study anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is true,” Akaashi breathed. “I don’t want to study, either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then let’s not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I have to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have to relax sometimes, too. I worry about you sometimes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Akaashi glanced back over his shoulder, but Bokuto wasn’t looking at him. He stared at the ceiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their heads snapped over to the door as his mother knocked once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Boys, can I come in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Bokuto called.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She peeked her head in the door, but didn’t fully enter. Akaashi was both amazed and appreciative of the privacy she gave her son. She squinted into the dark and flipped the light on, causing both boys to wince harshly. She laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I just couldn’t see you. Uh, Kōtarō, your dad is home and would like us all to eat together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad’s home?” Bokuto sprang up into a sitting position.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” she smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Again?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” she repeated through a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey, hey! That’s so </span>
  <em>
    <span>kickass!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>He turned and smacked Akaashi hard in the shoulder with the back of his hand. “Let’s go!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi smiled faintly, loving how much Bokuto loved his dad. He couldn’t tell if he was more of a mama’s boy or a daddy’s boy, but the fact that he couldn’t distinguish that made him inexplicably happy. Bokuto deserved a happy home with parents as great as his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And who knew… Perhaps if Akaashi was around for long enough they could become his family as well. But he was getting far too ahead of himself. Due to a distinct lack of discussion and just a touch of evasion, he wasn’t even sure if Bokuto was officially his boyfriend. He didn’t want to assume anything. So, he simply stood and followed the large boy down the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto all but ran into the kitchen and quickly took the seat across from his dad, “Hi! How was work? What’d you do? Are you happy to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>home?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The man blinked tiredly at him then smiled lazily, “Hi, Kōtarō. How was practice?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blinked at the table, as the two occupants sat on either long side, leaving the heads of the table open. He couldn’t sit there, that was where Bokuto’s parents belonged. Bokuto’s mother directed Akaashi to the seat at the far end of the table, closest to the living area. He nodded and moved to the seat, sinking into it uncomfortably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He waited quietly as Bokuto spoke loudly to his dad and his mother served them all. He bowed and thanked her quietly only to receive a dismissal with her hand and a </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Oh, don’t mind’.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, dad! Okay, so, during that game these </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>tall guys were—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kōtarō,” he laughed. “I’d love to hear this story, but it’d be rude for me not to acknowledge our guest soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glanced at Akaashi, seemingly remembering he was there at all, “Oh, right. Sorry!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Akaashi. Good to see you awake.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Akaashi?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto’s mother frowned at her husband. “Don’t be so rude, Ryota.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man held his hands up defensively, “Hey, that was the nomenclature I was given.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked over to Akaashi, “Oh, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>asked </span>
  </em>
  <span>to be called that? Would you like me to stop calling you Keiji-kun?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi slowly shook his head, anxiety rising quickly in him, “Whatever you’d like to call me is fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota laughed, “Welcome, anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blushed and bowed his head to him, placing his hands together before his chest, “Thank you for the meal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto looked between them and when he decided the conversation was over, he leaned forward once again, “Okay, but these guys were </span>
  <em>
    <span>huge. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Seriously just </span>
  <em>
    <span>giants. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tell him, Akaashi! Remember the blockers for Inarizaki?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looked up from his plate and nodded, “Huge.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Right?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto picked up his chopsticks and spoke around the food in his mouth. “It should’ve been criminal!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi took that as permission to eat as well and picked up his chopsticks. He turned a piece of meat over on the plate, trying to figure out what exactly it was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong, Kei— Akaashi?” Bokuto’s mother asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked up with a blush, “Excuse me, but what is this meat?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pork.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, okay. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why? Do you not like pork?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blushed a bit harder as Bokuto stopped talking and the two men looked at him as well, “Ah, it’s alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto furrowed his brow, “You don’t like pork?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi faltered for a second, “I’m a pescaterian.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A what?” Ryota asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Akaashi cursed his deepening blush. “A vegetarian that eats fish.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto blinked, “You are?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi simply nodded and Bokuto’s mother smiled and waved her hand out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t eat it! I wish I’d known or I would’ve made something different.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi shook his head, “It slipped my mind. I apologize for not informing you if I intended to stay for a meal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota frowned at him, but Bokuto leaned in with stars suddenly in his eyes. He put his elbow on the table and leaned into his palm as he beamed at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aw, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Akaashi! </span>
  </em>
  <span>Were you nervous? That’s so cu— Ow! What the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi frowned as Bokuto’s head snapped to his dad, who glared at him. His face was likely a very deep shade of red by that point. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Chill,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ryota said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Bokuto asked, evidently shocked. “It </span>
  <em>
    <span>is!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Anyways,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ryota looked back to Akaashi. “It’s really nice to have you here. The </span>
  <em>
    <span>last </span>
  </em>
  <span>person— </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ow!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota glared over to his wife who was already glaring back, “Ryota, your asparagus will get cold.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay. Sorry, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Tsukiko.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced around the table and noticed everyone else seemed as tense as he felt. They all silently went back to their food with their heads down. At the </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>least, Akaashi learned the name of Bokuto’s mother without having to awkwardly ask far too late.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you staying the night, Akaashi?” Tsukiko asked, breaking the long, </span>
  <em>
    <span>long </span>
  </em>
  <span>silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your mom wants you home?” Ryota asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded and pushed his rice around subconsciously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Friday, though,” Bokuto frowned. “Why does she want you home? It’s not like there’s school tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsukiko answered for him, “Because she’s a mother and wants her baby home. Don’t ever question a mother. Mama knows best.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi was secretly grateful to not have to speak. It seemed as though every time he contributed everything got worse. Bokuto held his hands up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, alright. Moms stick together. I get it. Anyway, </span>
  <em>
    <span>dad, </span>
  </em>
  <span>tell me about work, dude!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota pressed his lips into a thin line and Tsukiko stared down at her plate. Bokuto frowned between them. Akaashi placed his chopsticks down, feeling too ill to eat despite how rude it’d be to leave leftovers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Bokuto asked, shifting uncomfortably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell him,” Tsukiko muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota looked up at her, “You sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stood angrily, “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>better </span>
  </em>
  <span>tell me! What’s happening? You can’t jus—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota smiled up at him, “I quit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto furrowed his brow, “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>quit?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I quit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why is that a good thing? What’s happening?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got a job offer not long ago. I wanted to make sure it went as expected before quitting, but… It did and </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, which job did you quit? I thought you had to wait until you graduated to get a new job? Where is it? </span>
  <em>
    <span>What </span>
  </em>
  <span>is—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kōtarō,” he laughed. “Sit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto did as he was told and stared at his dad with wide and tentatively hopeful eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was just as surprised as you were! You know how I used to draw?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto furrowed his brow in deep confusion but nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right. I quit because I had to work, but I used to submit my stories to all these companies and magazines hoping one of them would pick them up. I thought I was the next big thing, let me tell ya. With good reason! I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>good for a sixteen year old!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi watched the man curiously. He wasn’t sure how two artists produced a child who could hardly hold a pencil at seventeen years old. He could see where Bokuto got his grandiose attitude, though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I found an old comic I started when I was eighteen, just after you were born. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>almost </span>
  </em>
  <span>finished. I remember working on that thing in </span>
  <em>
    <span>every </span>
  </em>
  <span>spare minute. I swear I didn’t sleep for </span>
  <em>
    <span>weeks </span>
  </em>
  <span>at a time. But that’s what passion will do to you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi frowned as Bokuto’s eyes clouded over with guilt. Tsukiko must’ve noticed too because she cleared her throat and Ryota swiftly moved forward with his story.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, I saw it and was reinspired. I got back to work on it and sent it off. And to my </span>
  <em>
    <span>absolute </span>
  </em>
  <span>shock, I got a call back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You did?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto gaped. “They want to do your comic?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota beamed and nodded, “Yes! Oh, my god!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto and his father both jumped up and leaned across the table to embrace as they yelled. Akaashi watched them, the tension in his shoulders finally leaving. He looked past the embracing men and faltered as he noticed Tsukiko wipe a tear off of her smiling face. He looked back at the nearly identical but different sized men and realized the gravity of the situation. He just watched a family become whole again. His heart ached selfishly as he watched them break apart but hold each other tightly on their arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My dreams are finally coming true.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>proud of you, dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blinked as he noticed a tear roll down Ryota’s cheek. His dad was… crying. There was nothing inherently </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong </span>
  </em>
  <span>with the sight, but it disturbed Akaashi. He’d </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>seen a grown man cry. For any reason. If he didn’t know any better he’d say that men simply couldn’t produce tears as soon as they turned eighteen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota whispered hoarsely, “Thank you, son. That means so much to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s head whipped to Bokuto, who sniffled and wiped at his face. He was crying, too. That was less surprising, but it finally pushed the selfishness away from Akaashi’s heart. However, the bitter aftertaste of shame stuck around in his mouth. Especially with the way Bokuto looked down to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi, isn’t it great? Dad’s gonna be home all the time now!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, Kōtarō,” Ryota said, drawing his attention back. “It’ll be a </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>demanding job. I’ll have to work quite a bit, still.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man nodded, “Yes. I can’t afford to hire any assistants or anything. Maybe someday if it takes off… But… I’ll have to work really hard to get there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah,” Bokuto nodded. “I’ll help however I can.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me, too,” Tsukiko smiled. “I’ll be your assistant whenever I don’t have commissions!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota smiled tearfully at his family, “I love you both so, so much. How can I ever fail when I have you both by my side?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sat back at the words. He stared up at the man, only just over twice the age of his son. He furrowed his brow as he quickly did the math in his head. His dad was only seventeen when he learned he’d be a father. He was only the age Bokuto currently was when he learned he’d be a </span>
  <em>
    <span>father. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He turned his attention to Tsukiko as she stared at her husband with obvious love. They were together in their youth and still seemed to be just as affected all those years later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was as if he and Bokuto stayed together for that long. He smiled up at his spiker at the thought. Would </span>
  <em>
    <span>they </span>
  </em>
  <span>be that in love in seventeen years?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both sat back in their seats and wiped at their faces before clearing their throats and promptly pretending the tears never fell in the first place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Ryota said as he picked up his chopsticks again. “So that’s pretty cool.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Bokuto nodded, pushing his food around with a shit eating grin. “Not too bad, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi leaned forward and spoke quietly, “Is it a weekly or monthly manga?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota did a double take at him, apparently shocked to hear his voice unprompted but slid into an easy smile, “Monthly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That gives you a bit more time then,” Akaashi smiled slightly back. “Your editor will have more time for you that way, as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota put his chopsticks down and leaned onto his fist as he smiled at Akaashi, “That so?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Akaashi shifted in his seat and looked down at his plate. “I know you’re probably aware. I apologize.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? No, tell me what you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced back up to him but saw no humor on his face, “Oh. Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota furrowed his brow and sat straight again, giving Akaashi his undivided attention, “Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Akaashi couldn’t help a small smile. “Uh, weekly mangas tend to have around eighteen pages per chapter on average whereas monthly ones require about thirty to forty. So, that’s one point five to two times the amount of pages but over double the time between deadlines.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota listened to him intently as he spoke and nodded along, “What else?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What else?” Akaashi breathed. “Generally this allows the mangaka for monthly magazines additional time to arrange their plot or to increase the quality of their art. As well as the aforementioned point of your editor having more time for you and vice versa. They’ll be able to discuss future chapters with you which usually results in a generally more solid, interesting plot line.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somewhere along the way a large smile crept its way onto Akaashi’s face. He hadn’t noticed as he spoke but the second he was finished he quickly bit it down and glanced at Bokuto who stared at him. His mouth was covered with his hands and his eyebrows were raised. Akaashi felt his cheeks heating up and looked back to the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Though, I’m sure you were aware.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sounded </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>like the man I met with earlier this week,” Akaashi looked up at Ryota who stared at him with a furrowed brow, then pointed at him with his arm flat across the table. “Interested in manga, Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I used to want to be an editor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Used to?” Bokuto asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Used to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a demanding job,” Ryota nodded. “I don’t blame you for moving on from that dream.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded before catching Bokuto’s eye. He wasn’t sure what possessed him to do it. Perhaps it was the way Bokuto was staring at him. Though it could’ve been their previous conversation about dreams. It could have been how their family just shared a very beautiful, intimate moment with him. Or maybe he was just sick of hiding. Either way, he opened his mouth and he was honest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Akaashi shook his head, drawing their attention back in. “It isn’t that. I actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>used </span>
  </em>
  <span>to want to be a mangaka myself. However my father didn’t see the value in such a risky job. I shifted my interest to the editor role because I figured it was close enough and maybe more secure than the role of the artist himself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Ryota frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi met Bokuto’s eye before looking back at the table, “I apologize for speaking out of turn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi,” Tsukiko said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked up to meet her eye. He sat back as her own golden eyes pierced into his in a very familiar way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re free to speak however you want about whatever you so please. You don’t need to apologize.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He bit back another apology and bowed his head, “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t need to thank us, either. You’re very welcome all the time as soon as you step in that door. Okay, son?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi lifted his head and looked at Ryota, who smiled at him with that breezy atmosphere he seemed to carry at all times. His gaze shifted over to Tsukiko who smiled as well. Her smile was different. It was daffy, much like Bokuto’s. He looked up at Bokuto, who smiled as well. His smile was different from his regular one. Rather than goofy and lopsided it was decidedly restrained as though not trying to say too much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi smiled down to his plate and nodded his acceptance of the sentiment.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Oh, how foolish have I become?’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>He thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard the sound of the Bokuto’s resuming their meals and did the same, picking up his chopsticks once again. His spiker’s parents were just like him. He was certainly a product of the two artists before him. How long did he need to know Bokuto before he finally learned? He wondered only an hour before about if he’d ever be accepted into their family.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I was a part of their family from the moment I met them.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked around again as he chewed on his asparagus. They spoke quietly amongst themselves, occasionally looking for input from Akaashi himself. He smiled each time, finding it easier to chime in with each prompt. Practice makes perfect, after all. He stretched his foot out under the table and met Bokuto’s eye as the spiker nudged his foot under his ankle. Bokuto smiled warmly at him and winked before turning his attention back to his long cold dinner. Akaashi blushed and looked at Bokuto's parents, hoping they didn’t see. They were far too deep in their own conversation to be concerned with them. Akaashi leaned forward onto his hands and quickly averted his eyes despite how fascinated he was by the clear love for each other in their expressions. He slipped his eyes shut as Bokuto bounced his knee, shaking Akaashi’s leg along with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was something innately </span>
  <em>
    <span>good </span>
  </em>
  <span>about Bokuto’s home. It was warm and welcoming. It was a bit messy, but it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>lived </span>
  </em>
  <span>in. They deeply understood and cared for one another and all who entered. Akaashi took a deep breath, struggling against the fullness in his chest. He didn’t want to part with the feeling of being part of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Though, I suppose those are all qualities of a Bokuto.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glanced at Akaashi’s plate and declared him finished as he stood, “Thanks for dinner, mom. It was great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked over, “Of course, honey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re gonna go back and study.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto moved behind Akaashi and took his hand as he stood to join him. The setter bowed to them, before remembering he wasn’t supposed to thank them. Bokuto led him forward with one hand in his and the other on his waist but stopped by his dad. Bokuto removed the hand from Akaashi’s waist and pushed his dad forward by the back of the head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Congratulations again. I’m so proud of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota turned in his chair and shoved him with both hands while he laughed, “Get outta here!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed and pushed Akaashi forward to narrowly avoid another shove from his dad, “Love you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you, too,” his parents called after them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto hopped up the stairs, pulling Akaashi along by his hand. The spiker looked over his shoulder at him and laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘And I do have a Bokuto along with me seemingly everywhere I go now.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are we studying this time, Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto looked forward again, “I was thinking simple addition. How does that sound?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi beamed at the back of his head, “You plus me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto ceased at the top of the stairs and waited for Akaashi to pass by him before wrapping his arms around him. He clung to his setter’s back making the rest of the walk to his bedroom a very awkward, though enjoyable, feat to accomplish. A deep chill sent down Akaashi’s spine as Bokuto spoke happily directly into his ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Us, Akaashi!”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘So, maybe I don’t need to part with that feeling at all.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter gripped onto Bokuto’s arms that were wrapped firmly around his chest as he laughed delightfully. There was simply no space in his chest for hidden laughs. It was too full.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto squeezed him tightly as they stumbled through the threshold of his bedroom. They laughed loudly as they nearly fell over due to the awkward heaviness of their joined state of being. Bokuto leaned ever forward and pressed a sloppy kiss to Akaashi’s cheek as he shut the door with one swift kick of his foot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi turned over in his arms and laughed against his mouth as Bokuto eagerly seeked his lips out.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Maybe I can hold onto that feeling forever…’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto pulled him closer by the waist and Akaashi’s smile dropped as he ran his hands up his chest. His legs pricked uncomfortably as Bokuto ran his hand down his side, then hip and found its way to his ass. His breathing quickened as Bokuto’s large hand curved around him. He squeezed his eyes shut harder against his lurching stomach and moved his arms around Bokuto’s neck. He laced his fingers together behind the spiker’s back and dug his nails into the backs of his hands in the hopes of distracting himself from the numbing anxiety that crept through his veins.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘...If only I never let go.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He opened his eyes as Bokuto leaned further into him and pressed his fingers into him just above the top of his thigh. Akaashi dug his nails into his hands harder as his heart rate only increased. He could do it. If he only made it past the edge of his comfort zone, he’d be fine. He just had to get there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto took a small step forward, keeping Akaashi still by his grip on both his waist and his ass. The setter gasped at the new firmness pressed into his thigh. His eyes snapped back open and Bokuto laughed against his lips. Only, Akaashi couldn’t find the humor in it. Panic seized his heart, stealing away the full and happy feeling he had moments before in its entirety. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘If I reject Bokuto he may leave me.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He attempted to keep his breathing even as he continued returning Bokuto’s kisses, feeling </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He retreated far within himself and attempted to detach himself from the reality of the situation. He allowed his hands to fall apart from each other and his arms nearly fell from Bokuto’s shoulders all together before he caught himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I don’t want him to leave me.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker frowned and pulled away to blink down at him, “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Oh, no.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi did his best to smile at him, but he knew it didn’t reach his eyes. He simply hoped Bokuto didn’t see that. He didn’t want to break his promise to never lie, but he didn’t know what else to say. He shrugged as he shook his head, hoping Bokuto would draw his own conclusions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shook his head, “Akaashi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter sighed heavily and fell forward, burying his head in Bokuto’s chest. Bokuto swiftly moved their hips apart and held him tightly around the waist once again. Akaashi covered the sides of his face with his hands as he attempted to hold back tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘What is wrong with me?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey,” Bokuto whispered, holding him tighter. “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>shouldn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>be,” Akaashi strained. “I should just be able to do this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The panic swelled painfully in his chest as Bokuto pushed him back by his shoulders and gripped him tightly. He leaned down and forced Akaashi to meet his eyes. The setter swallowed thickly, disgusted by his own weakness and the tears in his eyes. The frustration and disgust he felt only made him want to cry more.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘It's still possible that he won't turn me away.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need you to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>one </span>
  </em>
  <span>thing for me,” Bokuto said. “You think you can do </span>
  <em>
    <span>one </span>
  </em>
  <span>thing for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Disappointment began shoving the disgust aside in Akaashi’s chest as he stared on with wide eyes. He wasn’t sure why, but he actually expected more. He pulled away from Bokuto’s grip and crossed his arms tightly across himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I’m as foolish as foolish can be.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter slowly shook his head, “What do you want, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s more of a need than a want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The disappointment tore Akaashi limb from limb. The hole in his chest grew and he could feel himself following his emotions into it, aching to hide away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” He nearly spat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto reached back out and took his face in his hands, and just as he was about to aggressively pull away, he spoke, “I need you to take it easy on yourself, Keiji.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s entire being froze. Physically, he stopped with his brows deeply furrowed and his nails dug into his arm. Emotionally, the hole in his chest ceased growing, but it didn’t shrink either. Nothing went into that hole, but nothing emerged from it. He blinked slowly, then shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so hard on yourself. I wish you’d have enough faith in yourself to tell me when I’m crossing a line.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But…” Akaashi shook his head again, “I— What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wasn’t it Bokuto’s signature move to shut down in the face of rejection? Didn’t he lash out when he didn’t get the things he wanted? Why wasn’t he angry?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Am </span>
  </em>
  <span>I </span>
  <em>
    <span>the neurotic one?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a virgin, aren’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi finally lifted his eyes to Bokuto’s, “What gave it away? The </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything </span>
  </em>
  <span>about me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed, “Yeah. Just about. Listen, Akaashi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter stumbled back and Bokuto gently pushed him to the bed and sat him down before crouching in front of him. He took his hands in his own and stared down at how Akaashi’s hands were still bigger than his— something like that didn’t change easily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never want to pressure you into anything, okay? It makes you feel bad and it makes me feel bad. You only made your decision yesterday. I know I rush into most things— It’s just how I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re aware you rush into most things?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto looked up at his bewildered face before laughing, “Painfully. I try my best, but there’s just so much life to live that I forget sometimes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shifted on his feet, steading himself by placing their joined hands on Akaashi’s knees before clearing his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that doesn’t make it okay. So, I need you to </span>
  <em>
    <span>tell </span>
  </em>
  <span>me when you’re feeling a certain way. Never, ever, ever, </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever </span>
  </em>
  <span>do I want to put tears in your eyes again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blinked down at him as he frowned, “Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shook his head and looked down, “I’m really sorry. I care about you. Hopefully that’s obvious. I just… I just think—“ He sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto looked up at him with a crooked smile on his face but a sad look in his eye, “I just know that if you saw yourself the way I saw you that you would have to just stop and smile… For a long time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi slowly shifted, but kept his hands firmly in Bokuto’s, “Oh. I see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Maybe the foolish part is feeling foolish at all.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just…” Bokuto smiled as he stared at their hands. “I don’t want to mess up, Akaashi. But messing up is my signature move.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It isn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t think so?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi took a deep breath and urged himself to shed his skin and allow himself to be truly vulnerable to him. He owed it to him. Perhaps being open came easily to Bokuto, but Akaashi was willing to try. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted </span>
  </em>
  <span>to. He owed it to himself, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t. Allow me to put it into terms you’ll understand,” Akaashi gulped and looked up before forcing himself to meet Bokuto’s eye. “Much like how we trust you to be our ace, we also trust you when our spirits are down. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>trust you when my spirits are down. What you may think are offhand rambles mean a lot to me, Bokuto-san.” He paused. “Kōtarō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto continued to look up at him, but had nothing to say. He squeezed Akaashi’s hand, sensing he wasn’t done. When Akaashi opened up, it seemed to happen in short spurts that were better left untouched until he was certainly finished.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I appreciate you very much. And I think… I am equally afraid of messing up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded and clung to his hand, “I am terrified. Almost constantly. Of everything. Of everyone. I’m afraid of when things are well, because that means it can all break apart that much easier. It felt freeing to finally tell my father about my sexual orientation for all of a day until I found a new reason to be afraid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto nodded, body tingling at the new knowledge that Akaashi told his father. He slowly came to the understanding that Akaashi wasn’t just hidden from him, but himself as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And…” Akaashi took a deep breath in. “You were right. About not feeling in control of my life. I made a promise at my dad’s. I said I was going to start making decisions for myself and live how I want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s amazing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t, though. I don’t know how to start. Even if I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>to do something, my body shuts down. I’m just… broken. I don’t understand why you would want someone like me. I don’t see this ending in a way that isn’t entirely painful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto leaned back on his feet and frowned deeply, “I don’t know where to touch on that first. Why would you even get involved if you feel that way?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared up at the ceiling and blinked at his tears, “Because hurting after would still mean I got to feel something good for a while. Isn’t that how life works?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s one of those things,” Akaashi sniffed, staring up. “Where I know it isn’t right. I know I don’t deserve it. But it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>there </span>
  </em>
  <span>and I…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stared in horror as Akaashi pulled his hands away and held his face in his lap. Akaashi felt like a hypocrite. He felt embarrassed. He felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto didn't try speaking to him nor touching him as he cried. Some people simply didn’t respond well to that sort of thing. Akaashi broke his heart in one swift motion. Just by simply looking up at him with tears in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“This </span>
  </em>
  <span>is who I am, Bokuto-san. You don’t want this. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>don’t even want this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stood and stared down at him, “You can’t tell me what I do and don’t want, Akaashi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blinked up at him, “You cannot possibly look into my face right now and genuinely say you want to be involved in this mess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think you understand the extent of what I’d do for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared in shock, “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to take a risk, okay? Just hear me out. If after this, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>do not want me to be involved with you, then fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Akaashi’s voice was frail.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t only want to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>involved </span>
  </em>
  <span>in the mess, Akaashi. I want to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>part </span>
  </em>
  <span>of the mess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not a strong start.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to be the part of the mess that makes things seem clear again. I want to be there when you feel lost and I want to help you. I want to— I told you I’d be there when you realized how amazing you are. I meant that. I still do. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>fucking care about you. I can’t even put it into words! I mean, I’m not good at words like how you are— Frankly, I’m not good at </span>
  <em>
    <span>most </span>
  </em>
  <span>things. Especially not compared to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto turned away and paused with crossed arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I’m not about to tear myself down to build you up. That doesn’t help anyone. Besides… We build each other up, I think. We only make each other better. Don’t you think so?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto turned back to look at Akaashi, who stared at him and sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve done a lot for me, Kōtarō—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Quick note. My name sounds </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>good in your mouth. Continue.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi pressed his lips together before letting out the ghost of a laugh, “You’re helping me open up. You… Made me realize that studying isn’t something I </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>care about. It’s just what I know. And that makes me want to shift priorities. And that’s so scary.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That almost doesn’t sound like a positive,” Bokuto laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is, though. Even if I’m scared right now… I wouldn’t even be questioning things if I’d never met you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still not soundin’ great, Keiji.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I’m trying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re doing great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks. It’s just… I think questioning things is the first step to real change. So, in a year… Or two… Or maybe even five years, when things feel better, I’ll have to thank you properly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto eyed him wearily and ran his hand over his pounding heart, “Are you saying—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi shook his head, “No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want you to leave me, Keiji. Which is— It sounds bad. But—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want you to leave me, either, Kōtarō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stared at each other for a long minute before reluctant and shy smiles stretched across their lips. Bokuto slowly approached Akaashi once again and placed his hands on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s stay, then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi covered his hands with his own before whispering, “Yeah. Let’s.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Boyfriends?” Bokuto asked quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Boyfriends,” Akaashi breathed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure you can’t stay here tonight? I just… Don’t want you to go yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi bit his cheek. He wanted to stay, but he also wanted to be sure they didn’t spend too much time together. He furrowed his brow at Bokuto as he looked over his shoulder and beamed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wha—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s snowing!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi turned to follow Bokuto with his eyes as he excitedly bounced to the window. He moved further onto the bed and sat on his knees as Bokuto pushed the curtains from the centre of the rod to the side and peered outside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi shifted his gaze from the spiker and over to the window, where the large fluffy flakes floated around outside. He smiled further as he recalled the day they went skating together. Bokuto was excited about the snow then, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s so exciting about the snow?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Snow is the greatest!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How come?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glanced back at him before turning completely and rushing to turn out the overhead light. Akaashi blinked to adjust his eyes to the darkness and could just vaguely make out Bokuto crossing back to the window again. The spiker reached his hand out to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared at him, overwhelmed by his dimly lit smile. Gold was the only color that ever belonged on Bokuto, he was convinced. He reached out and clasped their hands together and allowed himself to be pulled up and led to the window. He stood next to Bokuto, hand in hand as they stared out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The neighborhood slept beneath the dense veil of the snow clouds. The wet road reflected the warm lights of the street lamps and illuminated the individual flakes that floated lazily to the ground before promptly dying on the pavement. Occasionally, a flake would fall against the glass before them and melt into an idle droplet that then wearily slipped away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced up at Bokuto who smiled warmly outside. The golden light lit his face perfectly from where he stood, making his irises strangely invisible. Akaashi leaned forward and melted at the darker shades of brown within his eyes. Bokuto’s gaze chased the icy fluffs around with a strangely nostalgic tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When I was a kid,” Bokuto whispered, his smile growing. “And my mom had a day job… We had a snow day from school. And it rarely snows, so that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>crazy.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mom had to work, and obviously dad was busy, which meant I had to spend the day with Babaa and Jiji. It was… the </span>
  <em>
    <span>best </span>
  </em>
  <span>day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi smiled and leaned into his side, which was received well by Bokuto. He unclasped their hands in favor of holding him tenderly within his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We played in the snow and built snowmen and then when we were cold and tired we went inside and had hot chocolate. It was like something out of an American Christmas movie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds really sweet, Kōtarō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it really was. It’s one of my happiest memories. I did everything that kids thought would bring a snow day. I put frozen spoons under my pillow, white crayons on the windowsill, even wearing my pajamas backwards </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>inside out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi furrowed his brow, “How would…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shrugged and laughed, “Become desperate enough and you’ll believe anything, huh? I got a taste of missing school to just </span>
  <em>
    <span>play </span>
  </em>
  <span>and I wanted more of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you still visit them now that you’ve grown up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto squeezed him, “Sometimes. It’s a bit far, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced up at his shift in tone and blinked at the sadness that mixed in with the nostalgia in his eyes as they continued chasing down the snowflakes, but his smile never faltered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They went within three months of each other,” Bokuto whispered. “They couldn’t be apart for that long, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi redirected his gaze to the street below, “They must’ve really loved each other.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They really did. She didn’t make it to their anniversary that year. They both went during winter about four years ago now. I really fell apart for awhile. I think most children with teenage parents can vouch for their grandparents’ roles in their lives.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds really hard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed breathily, “Snow made me sad for a bit. My mom saw me one day, just crying at the snow at my window. Right here, just like this. I was embarrassed, but she just held me and told me it was alright to be sad. Then she told me that it rained when the people in heaven missed their people on earth. She said I didn’t need to cry when it snowed because snow is just frozen rain and it just meant that Babaa and Jiji were thinking of me, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded slowly and leaned further into his touch, “I think I see it, now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto looked down at him and melted much like the snow outside. The light lit his face, but the falling snow cut specs of darkness across his features. His eyes were nearly green as the yellow light mixed with the blue of his irises.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you see?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looked up at him, stealing the breath from his lungs, “Snow is the greatest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto took him by the cheek before he could move his gaze back down to the street. The right side of his face was cast in shadow as the street lamps could only reach half of him. Bokuto couldn’t smile as he stared down at him as he was too overcome by his presence. The redness in the whites of his eyes from his crying drew out the blue of his irises intensely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Most important of all, his face showed no pity. It showed no sign of condolences or sorrow. Much unlike all the people he knew back then. He found one of the worst parts of mourning his grandparents was when people would pussyfoot around him and treat him like a delicate toy. Akaashi Keiji never stopped breathing life into his soul. His face showed only understanding.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘You’re not fooled by sadness. You know I’m strong enough to handle this.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I kiss you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded easily and Bokuto leaned down to press a singular, tender and chaste kiss to his lips. He pulled away just in time to see his eyes flutter open and for his parted lips to shut again.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I’ll never feel love more pure than this love I feel for you.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He dropped his hand from Akaashi’s cheek and wrapped his arm back around him as he stared back out the window with his setter— his boyfriend, officially, following suit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Want to stay here tonight?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stayed quiet as he watched two water droplets slide down the glass before colliding on their paths and plummeting together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glanced down at him as he rested his head on his arm. He sighed and leaned down to kiss his hair before resting his smile in his curls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come lay down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked over to the bed and slowly began to pack up their long abandoned books and pencils. Bokuto shut his notebook and his eyes ran over the very worn label on the front: </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Akaashi Keiji’. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He smiled as he recalled the day he was given that notebook. Everything felt so hopeless then. He knew he’d make Akaashi his, but it still felt so surreal to have him in his room preparing to cuddle in his bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘You make me do things I don’t like to do.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Once everything was out of the way, they climbed into the bed. Bokuto reached across Akaashi and stole the blanket that hung over onto the floor before draping it over them and laying back. He took Akaashi in on his chest and wrapped an arm tightly around him, placing his other behind his head. They kept their eyes on the window, watching the snow fall slowly with no discernible direction.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Like making me fall in love with you when neither of us were ready for that.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t help but notice that Akaashi finally stayed fully still. He wondered if he was actually feeling at peace inside his own head. It must’ve been exhausting to constantly be at war with himself. Hopefully Bokuto could help him with that. He wanted nothing more than for Akaashi to see himself for what he truly was. Which was the truest definition of imperfect perfection, beauty, grace, humility and goodness.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘But that only makes me love you more.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The snowflakes cast impermanent shadows over them as they ran through their short lives in the cold outside. Bokuto slowly moved his hand from behind his head and moved to cover Akaashi’s that lay over his chest. His brain ran around the image of his boy crying. He kept hearing the words </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘This is who I am’. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘And I can’t wait to see more of you.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think they’d really like you,” Bokuto whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi didn’t move his eyes from the window, “Babaa and Jiji?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I think they’d be proud.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nuzzled his face into Bokuto’s chest, but didn’t offer any words. Bokuto slipped his fingers around his hand and ran his thumb over his knuckles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is going to sound silly, but not sillier than the rest of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is the first snowfall we’ve had. Away from the water, anyway. And the only other we’ve seen was our first day out in Toyosu. I just think that maybe they’re saying we have their blessing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They fell back into silence, staring out at the light. Bokuto continued to run his thumb over Akaashi’s knuckles while Akaashi counted Bokuto’s breaths. The spiker fell victim to the image of Akaashi crying into his hands once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Because even when you cry you’re the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His initial impression of Akaashi Keiji was incorrect. As was his second impression of him. And this third and fourth— What he thought even then would likely be proven wrong, but he didn’t think </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong </span>
  </em>
  <span>was exactly the right word. Just… Outdated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced down at Akaashi and smiled at his drooping eyelids. It was only around nine at night, but he was tired.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘It’s because you’re growing.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Akaashi. Want to hear a song?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you didn’t listen to music.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t normally. But I’m thinking about Jiji and I think you might like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto took his hand away from Akaashi’s and groped blindly behind himself for his phone. Once he finally got it, he squinted at the screen before dimming the brightness and opening the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Spotify </span>
  </em>
  <span>account he shared with his mother. He searched for the song— </span>
  <em>
    <span>5:11AM (The Moment of Clarity) </span>
  </em>
  <span>by </span>
  <em>
    <span>Roger Waters </span>
  </em>
  <span>before hovering over it with his thumb.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jiji really liked this album. I haven’t listened to it much since he went, but… This is my sad song. You know, if I need to cry or whatever. You sure you want to hear it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced up at him, but Bokuto had a hard time seeing against the spots his screen burned into his vision, “Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Bokuto whispered before playing it and turning his screen off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A slow guitar started along with the sound of a ticking clock. After a moment of that, a lamenting voice presented itself.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“And the moment of clarity faded like charity does… Sometimes.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared out at the falling snow as there was another bar of instrumental.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I open one eye.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shifted his hand from around Akaashi’s back and found his curls instead before wrapping his fingers in the thick, dark locks as he mouthed along to the song.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“And I put out my hand just to touch your soft hair… To make sure in the darkness that we were still there… And I have to admit…”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto turned his head and stared down at Akaashi as he pulled at his curls, straightening them out before they bounced back into place.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I was just a little afraid.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi wrapped his fingers in Bokuto’s shirt as he watched the snow fall through hazy, tired eyes, finding he missed a man he never met. Without Jiji, there was no Bokuto— and so, he was very thankful to Jiji.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s eyes slid shut as Bokuto once again took his hand in his own, soothing him further by rubbing his thumb over his knuckles. The music swelled slightly before dropping off almost entirely behind the lyrics.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“But then…”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto smiled softly down at Akaashi as he shut his eyes, then looked back to the window. The song suffered through several measures of silence between lines, but Bokuto loved that part. It reminded him of the ever present lesson of patience he was yet to master. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I had a little bit of luck, you were awake. I couldn’t take another moment alone.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto tapped his screen back on before pausing the song by its end to prevent another from playing. He stared out the window for another long minute before shifting slightly, doing his best not to disturb Akaashi. Just as he slipped his eyes shut, his boyfriend spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto opened his eyes again, “About what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That song was sad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto chuckled, “I warned you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I liked it, though. You were right about that, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. And one more thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto hummed his acknowledgment and smiled as Akaashi tilted his head up to meet his eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think Babaa and Jiji would be very proud of you. You’re a good person and I’m very lucky to know you, Kōtarō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto had no idea what to say. In fact, he wasn’t sure he could say </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>without crying. He simply smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of his head and squeezed his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi moved his head back and shut his eyes again, “You deserve good things. I hope I can provide those things for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto took a deep breath to steady his voice, “Just knowing you is more than I’ll ever deserve.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed lightly, heating Bokuto’s chest with his breath, “Go to sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nine. I’m not tired.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looked up at him, “Fair enough. Want to study, then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Study what?” Bokuto smirked down at his goofy smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Simple addition?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only if you tell me when the questions get too difficult for you to answer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be sure to ask for help before I quit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s the spirit. Math is important, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi snorted through his nose and leaned his head up before pulling Bokuto’s face close to his, “I’ve only been telling you that for </span>
  <em>
    <span>months.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto ghosted his lips over Akaashi’s, “I guess it just took me a while to find a subject I understood.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi smiled as he shifted forward and closed the distance between them. The kiss was short and sweet, a mere declaration of their newly established closeness. He leaned into his ear and whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sometimes it takes some work. Though, everything is possible if you work hard enough, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed loudly, “I appreciate the reference to a </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>wise man’s words, but I like it when you call me Kōtarō better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed with him before shrugging and pressing their lips together again. Bokuto laid back and allowed him all the control, satisfied in knowing he wasn’t going anywhere any time soon. They had lots of time to get comfortable with each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Maybe I am learning something about patience.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He eagerly met each of his boyfriend’s touches, but never added anything new to the exchange. Akaashi neglected to realize that despite Bokuto’s sexual experience, he was a first for him as well. He’d never been with another boy before. He’d certainly never been in love with another boy before. In fact, he’d never been in love at all. That was </span>
  <em>
    <span>three </span>
  </em>
  <span>firsts all at once. And none of it bothered Bokuto in the least. It intrigued him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Akaashi </span>
  </em>
  <span>intrigued him. He certainly always would. He was constantly growing and changing, always presenting something and </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone </span>
  </em>
  <span>new. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I love you for so much more than you’ll ever realize.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed heavily as Akaashi moved his mouth to his neck, pressing his lips along his sensitive skin there. Then, he tried something new. Akaashi’s tongue made its first appearance against the skin just below his ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I love you for that, too.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi breathed heavily in his ear before whispering, “You can do stuff too. I’ll tell you to stop if it’s too much. I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘And for that.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto promptly took Akaashi’s head in his hand and immediately attached his mouth to his neck. He nipped and sucked and kissed, being sure to never leave a mark until he had expressed permission. He clamped hard on Akaashi’s hair and squeezed his eyes securely shut as the setter let out a rattling sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘And that.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s hands found Bokuto’s hair as the spiker made his way up his jaw then back down. He licked from the crook of his neck to just below his ear before grazing his teeth over the raised skin. Bokuto let out a very sharp exhale as Akaashi gasped and pulled on his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Oh, god. And that, too.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>stole the images directly from the manga lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Totally Hot But Really Dumb</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>HEY please note the rating change<br/>this chapter does include porn</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Three months passed from the time Akaashi broke down in front of Bokuto in his bedroom, and the spiker found about fourteen different people in the form of his boyfriend since that time. The last month remained rather consistent, though. Akaashi seemed to be landing on a much more solid and secure version of himself. The very concept of a confident Akaashi Keiji was enough to shake Bokuto’s knees.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi found that the more stable he was the more Bokuto wavered. It was as though one’s weakness was the other’s strength and he thought that was beautiful. There was a certain amount of security in knowing that even if he broke, there was someone to fall back on. The more he practiced using his voice in the ways he wanted, the easier it became. The distance he got from his father didn’t hurt, either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t seen his extended “family” since their therapy session three months prior. His father hadn’t so much as texted him and that was alright with him. However, Chihaku kept in regular contact, often asking Akaashi to come out, but he always found a polite reason for any such get-together to be simply impossible. A lot of the time it wasn’t a lie, either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had February off of school, as per usual, but Akaashi spent a lot of it still studying, in and out of practice and forcing math down Bokuto’s throat. Despite all their efforts previously, he still failed his exam. He wasn’t sure how. His boyfriend was getting the practice questions with slightly less hardship than when they met. He figured it was the unfortunate time limit that came with exams.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>More or less, Akaashi Keiji had found a near perfect clarity in his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi walked along the sidewalk, away from the school, peeling the top off of a box of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Pretz. </span>
  </em>
  <span>They just got through with their first day of school and practice, but it was uneventful. They wouldn’t be meeting their new teammates for two more weeks. He crinkled the bag inside the box before tearing it open and removing a pretzel stick from within and slowly snacking on it. He walked slowly, waiting for Bokuto to catch up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their coach asked their ace to stay behind for a </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘mandatory and very necessary private discussion’. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi wasn’t sure what Bokuto did to piss him off. Not in the sense of he couldn’t find something he did, but in the way where he couldn’t begin to narrow the list down. His boyfriend was reaching an almost new level of insufferable out on the court. His neuroticism was reaching a boiling point. Every small thing either lifted him up or dragged him down out there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi was also getting better at dealing with him, though. So, it wasn’t all that bad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s chest burned with the intensity of his sprint. His conversation with his coach lasted far longer than anticipated. By the time they were done talking and he changed into his pedestrian clothes, Akaashi was halfway back to his house already. He charged forward anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Keiji!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stopped and turned, watching Bokuto wave his arms wildly as he approached. He snapped a pretzel stick between his teeth and raised an eyebrow at his ace as he slowed to a hasty stop in front of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did you ass look when Coach handed it to you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto heaved air into his lungs, speaking between pants, “He… Didn’t…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi turned and walked silently beside Bokuto as he caught his breath. Once Bokuto was back to his regular condition, he sped up and walked backwards in front of Akaashi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He spread his arms out wide and beamed, “He did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>hand me my ass! But if he did I’d have to imagine it’d be as </span>
  <em>
    <span>supple </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect </span>
  </em>
  <span>as it is while it's on my similarly perfect body.”</span>
</p><p><span>Akaashi raised both</span> <span>eyebrows at him that time, “Fascinating. What </span><em><span>did </span></em><span>he want, then?”</span></p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stopped walking and threw his fists up, “Results are </span>
  <em>
    <span>in, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Keiji baby! The polls are all tallied up and </span>
  <em>
    <span>accounted </span>
  </em>
  <span>for!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi furrowed his brow and lowered his pretzel from his lips, “What are you talking about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re looking at the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fourth best ace </span>
  </em>
  <span>in all of Japan!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi shook his head, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Fourth?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto beamed larger, “Fourth!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, my god!” Akaashi bounded forward and hugged him tightly. “Fourth!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed brightly and easily scooped him up, continuing their walk to his house with his boy in his arms— exactly where he belonged, thank you very much. Akaashi wrapped his legs around his waist to steady himself and easily fell into his grasp. He didn’t mind not having to use his own legs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How does it feel to set for one of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>top five </span>
  </em>
  <span>aces in the country?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi dug into his pack of snacks, removing a new one, “I’d still set for you even if you didn’t have a ranking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That wasn’t the question,” Bokuto laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi chewed lazily on his pretzel then shrugged, “Still not top three.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Akaashi!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed around his pretzel, “I’m proud of you, Kōtarō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Right?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto boomed. “I’m the best ever!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s objectively false,” Akaashi said. But he thought, </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Yes, the best.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto ignored the gib and cheered regardless, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, hey, hey!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi ate his pretzels as Bokuto carried him easily down the sidewalk. He held the box out behind him for Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Want one?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto let go of Akaashi and allowed him to hold on for himself for a moment as he examined the box, “What the hell is a </span>
  <em>
    <span>Pretz?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pretzels.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto hummed and took a couple before handing it back and supporting Akaashi’s weight again, “Why don’t you eat </span>
  <em>
    <span>Pocky </span>
  </em>
  <span>like a normal person? You’re so </span>
  <em>
    <span>old.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi took them from his boyfriend, “You’re older than me, Bokuto-san. By a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“A year and a half! </span>
  </em>
  <span>That’s not a lot!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not a </span>
  <em>
    <span>little, </span>
  </em>
  <span>either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto placed Akaashi on the ground, “You can walk now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi chuckled, “I was going to ask for you to put me down before we got there anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto smiled as he eyed him from his peripheral. They silently ate their snacks as the spring air blew through them. His eyes turned forward again as his house came into view. His chest was so full. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>very full. It’d become a habit for Akaashi to go to his house with him after practices, then not leave for days at a time. They were going on their second week without Akaashi sleeping at his own house even once.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto smiled larger as he cracked his pretzel stick in half, “Hey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so pretty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced up at him before looking back and snorting, “Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Kōtarō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto wrapped his arm around Akaashi’s back and watched eagerly as he leaned into his side, biting into his snack. The spiker smiled at the familiar feeling of the strap of Akaashi’s bag scratching into his arm through his sleeve.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite all the time they’d been spending together, Akaashi still never let him below the belt— and Bokuto was absolutely fine with that. He was just glad to spend any amount of time with him, doing whatever. It was all good as long as it was Akaashi he was doing it with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Though, Bokuto was a fool.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He once thought it’d be impossible to love Akaashi more than he did, but that was proven more wrong with each passing moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stared down at his setter, his friend, his </span>
  <em>
    <span>boyfriend, </span>
  </em>
  <span>as he ate his pretzels, staring straight ahead with no discernible expression on his face. Even when he was right there, directly under his arm, Bokuto missed him. Yes, he was far gone. In far, far, </span>
  <em>
    <span>far </span>
  </em>
  <span>too deep. Every night that Akaashi spent with him in his bed— in his arms— was another nail in his coffin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every day became harder to not declare his undying, ever growing, borderline </span>
  <em>
    <span>obsessive </span>
  </em>
  <span>love for Akaashi Keiji.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He refused to acknowledge it first, though. He didn’t want to scare him away. It’d only really been three months since they got together, but Bokuto had been in love with him for around a year at that point. It was getting close to impossible not to tell him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>382 times. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Three hundred eighty two times. He almost blurted out the words or otherwise confessed </span>
  <em>
    <span>three hundred and eight two times. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He kept track.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That all being said, he knew once he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>say it, he wouldn’t be able to </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop </span>
  </em>
  <span>saying it. So, he couldn’t allow the words to be uttered until Akaashi decided he was ready to let the world in on the secret that was them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you looking at me like that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi elbowed him in the side, “Stop staring at me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop being so beautiful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi snorted once again through his nose and pulled away as he opened the door to Bokuto’s home. They walked inside and poked their heads into each room in search of his parents. When they exhausted all their options but one, Bokuto knocked on the door to the spare-bedroom-turned-office.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They smiled at the sound of Ryota’s voice and Bokuto called out, “Dad! Can we come in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto eagerly pushed the door open and entered the room much as they had hundreds of times within the last three months. Akaashi hung back and examined the art hung along the walls once again, just as impressed as the first time. Bokuto took the seat next to his dad and leaned in to watch him draw.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s mom?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shopping. How was school? Happy to be back?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto leaned in further and watched him line his art in ink, “Good! Coach told me that now I’m the fourth best spiker in Japan!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota blinked down at his art before his face split into a huge smile and he put his crow quill off to the side. He turned his chair over to Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You serious?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto nodded enthusiastically, “Yeah! I thi—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota cut him off with a tight and loving hug, “You’re incredible, Kōtarō. You make your old man very proud.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto clung to his dad, “Emphasis on the </span>
  <em>
    <span>old. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’m so happy that you work at home now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah!” Bokuto pulled back and stared at him with wide eyes. “Obviously!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh, you should tell me more often.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I tell you </span>
  <em>
    <span>all the— </span>
  </em>
  <span>Oh. Very funny.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota laughed and opened his mouth to speak when Tsukiko’s voice carried up to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kōtarō, come help me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi turned to follow him down and help as well when Ryota called to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, uh, Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Panic prickled vaguely beneath Akaashi’s skin as he turned back, “Yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Akaashi crossed the room and took the seat Bokuto just left. “Is something wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota turned back and frowned down at his papers, “I need to make a decision.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What kind of decision?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, in this story, the character is on a quest to uncover a hidden relic. I need to decide the outcome of what happens when he finally gets to the place he was directed to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure I understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I’m trying to decide if he actually finds what he’s looking for or not when he finally reaches the end of his journey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think that depends on how long the series will go on for, no?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota nodded, “Yes, I suppose. Though I’m trying to foreshadow the outcome now. I’d like to add a page of history where the original owners of the object hide the relic away to begin with, but I don’t think… Ah, words are so </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I don’t know if I want to give away the direct appearance of the relic, but I’d like to foreshadow it. Should I just leave the page out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi hummed and leaned forward, “How large is this relic?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Around the size of a medallion.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if you put the medallion inside of a box? So, then it's something akin to schrodinger's cat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now I’m not sure</span>
  <em>
    <span> I</span>
  </em>
  <span> understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t want to fully give it away, right? So maybe if you put the relic within this box, it could give you more options moving into the future with your story. Perhaps the relic is within when he gets it, or maybe it </span>
  <em>
    <span>isn’t. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Maybe he finds something </span>
  <em>
    <span>different </span>
  </em>
  <span>within the box. Maybe he gets there and finds the relic never existed to begin with if all historians really knew of it was the </span>
  <em>
    <span>box.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota slowly looked up to Akaashi with a small smile, “You’re pretty damn smart, ya know that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi shook his head, “No, no. I just like stories.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” Ryota looked back down. “You think if I only present the relic within a box in this flashback, then the reader would be led to believe that the relic truly is inside?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would think so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then if I’m picked up for another volume, I could alter the outcome at the last minute to prolong the story.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! Schrodinger’s cat. Keeping the myth of this relic simultaneously alive but dead within the reader’s mind. Keeping the reader interested in if the protagonist is going to prevail or not. I assume some large weight rests upon him and whether or not he’s able to retrieve this relic?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Pretty classic story.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed, “A tale as old as time. I love it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you’re around, Akaashi,” Ryota muttered as he picked his quill up again. “This thing is such a pain in the ass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blushed at the compliment, but chose to ignore it otherwise, “Why do you use it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me, that was rude. It’s just that I’m not sure how many artists really use those anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Ryota frowned. “This is just what I </span>
  <em>
    <span>used </span>
  </em>
  <span>to use. What am I supposed to use, then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong </span>
  </em>
  <span>with that, but there’s easier tools,” Akaashi reached into his bag and removed his pencil case. He took out a pack of four differently sized brush pens. “Would you like to try these?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota eyed them before moving over, “Show me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s eyes widened, “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man gestured to his page, “Show me. You know how to use them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I couldn’t possibly draw on your work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you liked to draw?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t actually drawn anything real in close to four years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Ryota nodded, but didn’t move. “Now’s just as good as ever to start again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi opened his mouth to protest, but Ryota seemed adamant. He nodded and slowly rolled his chair over to in front of the paper and removed the second to smallest pen from the pack. He removed the lid and glanced at Ryota who nodded encouragingly to the paper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Akaashi breathed. “So, if you drag it more along where the brush meets the pen, you’ll get thicker lines, but if you keep it down towards the tail, they’ll be thinner. It’s more or less just exactly like a paintbrush that you never have to dip.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Makes sense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi dragged the pen along the faint blue pencil marking on the page, doing his absolute best not to screw up Bokuto’s father’s work. Ryota leaned in and watched over his shoulder, which did not help his nerves in the least. Akaashi ran the pen over the linework, slowly falling into the groove of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>missed drawing. He forgot how soothing it was. He forgot how it made him feel. And he forgot about his dreams along the way, as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your style is really cute,” Akaashi muttered before he noticed it leaving his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota laughed loudly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Cute? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Look at all the blood!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi smiled at the characters before him, “Yeah, but that doesn’t take away from its charm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Charming is </span>
  <em>
    <span>way </span>
  </em>
  <span>better than cute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t give a bishōjo </span>
  <em>
    <span>heart shaped pupils </span>
  </em>
  <span>and claim it isn’t cute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>a bishōjo, thank you very much. She is a </span>
  <em>
    <span>yandere.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Akaashi nodded. “Very interesting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sarcasm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not in the least.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota stared at him for a moment before smiling and leaning back in to watch him draw.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there anything you </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>do, Akaashi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s hand faltered for a second, “There’s lots I can’t do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota hummed and leaned forward onto the desk beside him, seemingly mesmerized by his brushstrokes. He glanced up at the teenager before clearing his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to make this weird for a minute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi removed his hand from the paper to look fully at him, “Um, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you don’t really talk much, but… It’s been nice seeing you open up. I can’t think of a person I’d rather my son be with.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blinked at him, “Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you,” Ryota laughed, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Weird. </span>
  </em>
  <span>But… I mean it. It’s a pleasure having you around. You make Kōtarō very happy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Akaashi frowned, twirling the pen between his fingers. “Bokuto-san is </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>happy, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not always,” Ryota said, watching him go back to work. “I wasn’t home much when he had that last girlfriend of his, but she was really awful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded slightly, focusing on keeping his hand steady.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, truly just… Terrible. Obviously, there are worse people, but—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know her, actually,” Akaashi said. “I understand the sentiment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tanigawa Akemi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded, furrowing his brow as he tried working out a difficult shape, “She’s in my music school. She plays the flute and sings as well. I don’t talk to her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh, small world,” Ryota leaned forward to the page before glancing at Akaashi’s focused eyes. “Why don’t you talk to her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want these areas filled in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi exchanged his pen for a larger one, “I don’t talk to her because— pardon my language— she is a complete bitch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota blinked in shock before laughing, “You think so, too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Regretfully. She’s one of those girls who expects her beauty and father’s money to carry her through life. With good reason, mind you. It’s worked thus far.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Agreed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed lightly but genuinely, “She refers to me as </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘the mute kid’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>because I refuse to acknowledge her. I think she thinks I’m deaf, too. It’s just ironic because we’re in the same </span>
  <em>
    <span>music </span>
  </em>
  <span>school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota laughed, “That </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>ironic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She talks about Bokuto-san a lot, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She </span>
  <em>
    <span>does?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded, seemingly unaffected, “Yeah. Her </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘like, </span>
  </em>
  <span>totally </span>
  <em>
    <span>hot but really dumb and honestly, like, poor as hell ex’.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t much care for that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I chose my words carefully when referring to her in such an... Unfavourable manner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Entirely understandable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d like to correct her sometimes, but I know it’s a losing battle. It’s ironic, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Her calling Bokuto-san really dumb. Her intelligence is akin to a dog whistle. Most humans simply can’t detect it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota blinked before busting out laughing, “Holy </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit, </span>
  </em>
  <span>you are </span>
  <em>
    <span>brutal. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Remind me not to get on your bad side.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi smiled faintly down to the paper, “I don’t foresee a situation where that’d be close to possible. I love it here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We love having you here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi was about to thank him when Bokuto bounded back up the stairs, “Akaashi!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both turned to the door as Bokuto ran in with a small box in his hand. The spiker faltered and eyed them up strangely before beaming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>drawing?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was showing your dad these brush pe—“</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Lemme see!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi rolled out of the way as Bokuto charged forward and poured over the page in question.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Whoa! </span>
  </em>
  <span>Seriously, Keiji! Is there </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>you can’t do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota leaned over to also examine the state of his work, “There’s lots that he can’t do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s head snapped down to him, “What the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell, </span>
  </em>
  <span>dad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker’s confusion only grew as his dad and boyfriend laughed. He squinted between them suspiciously before speaking slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you two… have an </span>
  <em>
    <span>inside </span>
  </em>
  <span>joke?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryota ignored his son in favor of keeping Akaashi in one piece, “This is really awesome. Thanks for showing me that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you want to keep them?” Akaashi asked, holding the pens out to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, I can get my own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can use them until you do,” Akaashi pushed them forward, wanting to do whatever he could to pay the man back for his hospitality.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll use them if you promise to help me out again,” Ryota reached out. “That was a nice little break.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded enthusiastically, “I’d like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryots took the pens and shook their package at him, “It’s a deal then. Get outta here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed and nodded as he stood, taking Bokuto by the sleeve and pulling him from the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stared between them the entire way, “What’d I just witness?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi shrugged and waited until they were safely behind Bokuto’s closed door to speak, “I think we were bonding.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter climbed into Bokuto’s bed and pulled the blanket over himself. The spiker stood by the door and cocked his head at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We just talked about manga. It was cool. I think your dad actually likes me. Which is cooler.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Of course he likes you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really think so?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto leaned back against the door and smiled at how small his boy looked wrapped up in his bed, “Duh. He didn’t even </span>
  <em>
    <span>talk </span>
  </em>
  <span>to my last girlfriend. That’s honestly why I ended up breaking up with her. His approval means a lot to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi hid most of his face in the blanket, “That’s cute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto smirked, “You think I’m cute?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Duh,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi mocked. “What’d you want to tell me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” Bokuto perked up and quickly sat beside him, tossing the box close to his face. “Look what mom bought.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi shook his arm loose from the blanket and picked up the box. He laughed and shook his head before tossing it back to Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop trying to change me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Change you?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like </span>
  <em>
    <span>Pocky.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t like Pocky? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Who doesn’t like </span>
  <em>
    <span>Pocky? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Are you ill? Are you a monster?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi squinted dumbly at him before retreating back into the blanket, “You’re exaggerating again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude, I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>exaggerating! Seeing you with a box of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Pretz </span>
  </em>
  <span>was the saddest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Akaashi laughed, burying his face further in the blanket. “They’re good. </span>
  <em>
    <span>And </span>
  </em>
  <span>you ate some, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi,” Bokuto said flatly. “I’d eat rat poison if you handed it to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter furrowed his brow and glared over to him. Bokuto crossed his arms, looking dead serious as he leaned forward.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“And I think you know that. </span>
  </em>
  <span>So, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I did not </span>
  <em>
    <span>enjoy </span>
  </em>
  <span>the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Pretz.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I won’t share with you next time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi pressed his smile into the blanket as Bokuto crawled over him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, still share with me. I loved them. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi ignored him and shut his eyes as Bokuto pressed kisses over whatever parts of his face were accessible around the blanket.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Keeeeiji, </span>
  </em>
  <span>stop ignoring me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto pressed his nose into Akaashi’s temple as he rested some of his weight over him. He frowned into his cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C’mon. Just share a </span>
  <em>
    <span>Pocky </span>
  </em>
  <span>stick with me. One. That’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“If it’s nothing then you shouldn’t mind me not doing that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto rolled his eyes and pressed several more kisses along his cheekbone and temple, “It will not hurt you at all and it’ll mean everything to me. C’mon. Share one with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I share one with you, will you get off of me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pft, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>love </span>
  </em>
  <span>it when I’m on you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you’re heavy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto sat up and smirked down at him, “Oh, so I must’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>imagined </span>
  </em>
  <span>when you asked me to cuddle with you every night fo—“</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi sat up, successfully detaching his spiker from him. “I’ll share one with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto beamed as he tore into the cardboard box, then the foil wrapper. Akaashi picked up the discarded cardboard packaging and snorted at it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rainbow, huh? I feel like your mom’s been buying a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot </span>
  </em>
  <span>of rainbow things recently.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto focused on trying to open the foil, “Yeah, it’s because we’re gay together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blinked at him before laughing loudly, “You don’t say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi placed the cardboard down before taking the bulk of the packaging from Bokuto, calmly peeling it open. He handed the snacks back to his boyfriend, who took them in one enthusiastic hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ya know, your art is going into a shonen magazine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t do anything except go over the lines your dad already drew.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So? It’s still cool as hell. I can’t wait until I can brag about you to everyone. I’m gonna show them all that page and be like </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘My boyfriend did this. How kickass is he?’”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi chuckled and leaned forward as Bokuto placed the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Pocky </span>
  </em>
  <span>between his lips, “You’re sweet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Duh,” Bokuto laughed around the biscuit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi took the other end of the stick in his mouth as Bokuto held three fingers up then slowly lowered them one by one. By the time he merely formed a fist, they both worked their way to the centre of the snack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto smiled as their lips met in the middle and his fist uncurled around the curve of Akaashi’s neck. Akaashi sighed and pulled away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, that was one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto pursed his lips at him, “Another?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blinked slowly at him, “Another?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if you </span>
  <em>
    <span>insist,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto laughed, taking another stick from the pack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi waited patiently as they placed it between their lips and Bokuto counted down again. Once his hand was a fist, the setter quickly sat back and slipped the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Pocky </span>
  </em>
  <span>out from between Bokuto’s lips. He leaned forward and pressed a long, deep kiss to his mouth before laying back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stared down at him in shock as he slowly broke bits of the biscuit off and chewed. He sat forward and leaned over Akaashi with wide eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you didn’t like </span>
  <em>
    <span>Pocky?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi waved the treat at him, “I’m a sucker for strawberry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter lifted his head slightly as Bokuto seized him by the wrist. His eyelids fell slightly as he watched his boyfriend lower his head and steal the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Pocky </span>
  </em>
  <span>with his teeth. He allowed the snack to leave his fingers and watched him eat it with hooded eyes. His breathing deepened as Bokuto’s hands found their way onto his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only one way to taste your precious strawberry now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi suppressed his shock at the brazen nature of his gesture and decided to one up him by simply sticking his tongue out. Bokuto furrowed his brow at him as his cheeks flushed a deep red. Akaashi shut his mouth and stared on with a flat expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we nap before dinner?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want to nap?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve just never seen you nap before,” Bokuto muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m really tired.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto nodded before moving the snacks onto the bedside table, “You know, I’m surprised you didn’t— You know what? No, I’m not saying it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi snorted as he shuffled some of the blanket back to Bokuto, “We’re studying </span>
  <em>
    <span>after </span>
  </em>
  <span>dinner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit,” Bokuto breathed as he wrapped his arms around Akaashi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter shifted back a bit, pressing into the firmness of Bokuto’s chest. The spiker shut his eyes and pressed his forehead into the back of his boyfriend’s neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so warm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight?” Bokuto laughed, nuzzling his nose into him. “It’s just a nap.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, then go to sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto squeezed him, “Yeah! I will.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi placed his hand over Bokuto’s as his muscles relaxed. His brow twitched as Bokuto shifted around restlessly behind him. Then, he sighed as Bokuto moved his hand to press into his stomach beneath his shirt. Just as Akaashi relaxed again, Bokuto shifted </span>
  <em>
    <span>again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kōtarō?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you lay still?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was so unlike Bokuto to be restless as he fell asleep. Normally at night he brushed his teeth, got some water from the kitchen then fell asleep within minutes. Akaashi slipped his eyes shut again as Bokuto tucked his face back into his neck. After some time his body weighed heavily with sleep and he was just drifting when Bokuto pressed a small kiss into his skin. He was about to sigh and give up when Bokuto spoke to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve wanted this for so long.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi peeked out of weary, tired eyes and stared out at the door. Bokuto’s hand was very warm against his stomach and he felt so secure in his arms. His body fit so well against his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kōtarō?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to say something dumb.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shifted up and looked down at him, but stayed very close to him, “What’s up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think that I may lo—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto clapped his hand over Akaashi’s mouth. The setter furrowed his brow and turned to look at him, feeling the immediate sting of rejection.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t say it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sunk back before shoving his hand off his face, “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto settled back against him and ran his thumb along his skin, “Go to sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I was trying.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto didn’t say anything as Akaashi firmly shut his eyes. He would’ve bet anything that Bokuto felt the same and being apparently very wrong hurt deeply. Suddenly his warm touch on his stomach scalded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t very tired anymore. Bokuto pulled him closer and he resisted the urge to pull away from him altogether. He sighed lightly as Bokuto pressed even closer into him and began rubbing his entire hand over his skin rather than just his thumb.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laid there until Bokuto’s hand ceased and his body relaxed against him. Once his breath puffed against his neck in short, shallow spurts, Akaashi turned over in his arms as discreetly as possible. Though, once Bokuto finally fell asleep, it wasn’t that easy to wake him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi studied his face. He looked so different when he slept. His hair mussed against the pillow and fell into his face. His eyelashes brushed against his cheeks as his eyes slowly shifted behind their lids. The biggest difference was that he wore no smile. His pink lips parted slightly as he breathed, but when he was in </span>
  <em>
    <span>deep </span>
  </em>
  <span>sleep, he often mumbled nonsense. Akaashi smiled and watched him for a long while, sleep far from his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After around ten to twenty minutes of just laying there, feeling his touch and watching his shifting expressions, Akaashi leaned in and pressed his lips to his cheek. The setter held his breath as Bokuto pushed his face into his.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Oops.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat back a bit as Bokuto’s eyes split open to a very minute degree. His pupils were glazed over and he clearly wasn’t actually awake, nor did he see Akaashi— but it was very unsettling. The spiker had no discernible expression on his face as he stared with mostly lidded, glossy eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew Bokuto had a habit of sleep talking, but he’d never seen him sleep with his eyes open. Bokuto slowly frowned and Akaashi retracted his hands from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you see it move, Keiji?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fear slowly creeped up Akaashi’s spine. He knew that sleep talking didn’t mean anything. Normally, the things Bokuto said weren’t comprehensible. That was either because he couldn’t really hear him or because it was utter nonsense— gibberish or random words thrown together. Maybe it was the clear way his voice rang out, or maybe it was the way he stared blankly </span>
  <span>forward— or maybe it was a touch of both, but fear struck Akaashi’s heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s frown slowly turned to a smile as his eyes shifted from Akaashi’s face to over his shoulder and he whispered through a laugh, “No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi grimaced as Bokuto’s eyes rolled back and shut again. The spiker removed one arm from him and rolled onto his back, his head facing away as he sprawled out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi was about to write him off as asleep again when he spoke loudly, “It all disappears, ya know. Goes white. Perfunctory, scintillating malaise.” He paused. “Capricious.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter frowned down at him as he attempted not to find meaning in the words— the words Akaashi was shocked that Bokuto knew even subconsciously. He hummed lowly as Bokuto fell still and no more words left his mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Capricious is right,” Akaashi muttered before settling back down beside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He jumped as Bokuto shouted, “Fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>beautiful, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Keiji!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi couldn’t help his smile as Bokuto turned back to face him again with a lazy smile of his own, “What is, Kōtarō?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto unsurprisingly didn’t answer him. Not at first, anyway. Just as Akaashi shut his eyes again, Bokuto whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He has the cleaver.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi shook his head and opened his eyes to see Bokuto staring blankly at the ceiling with a goofy smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“In the </span>
  </em>
  <span>closet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re creeping me out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed loudly, “Look out, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi went against his better judgement and gazed around the room just to confirm they were truly alone. Bokuto’s eyes slid shut as he whispered like a man who was the only one in on a very big secret.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have the </span>
  <em>
    <span>volume.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Is it normal for sleep talking to go on for this long?’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>He thought as he stared at Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed and laid back on Bokuto’s arm as he fell quiet again, and thankfully, that time the quiet lasted. Akaashi closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep, eventually finding success.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi blinked his eyes open and squinted through the pale blue light of Bokuto’s bedroom and patted at the bed, finding his place was both empty and cold. He frowned and waited for his eyes to adjust to the low light.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t take long to locate Bokuto. In fact, all it took was a simple turn of the head to spot him at the foot of the bed, staring down at Akaashi with that same empty, glossy stare.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Jesus Christ.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi clutched his pounding heart, suddenly very awake as he sat up. Bokuto didn’t respond to him, nor move at all. Akaashi stared at him, feeling unease and fear tingle up his spine once again. He looked so </span>
  <em>
    <span>creepy.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Boku—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>wet.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto took a large breath in and opened his mouth as if to speak, but simply exhaled quietly, then blinked slowly. Akaashi felt the overwhelming urge to run from him, but was rooted to his spot. He was absolutely petrified in his position of clinging to Bokuto’s blanket in near blackness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Akaashi took in a deep breath, slowly realizing what was happening. “It’s Keiji, you know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto nodded absently and turned towards the window, “I told you </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>to be here, remember?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. Bokuto-san, come to bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keiji.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Keeeeeeiji,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto sang under his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A chill tore through Akaashi’s chest as he pushed the blanket off of himself, “Yes, Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to some… get more fruit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fruit? Wh— Get away from the window.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so </span>
  <em>
    <span>wet. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Where’s it coming from?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew that answering Bokuto wasn’t doing anything— or at least he didn’t think so, but he felt he needed to. If not for Bokuto then for himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto didn’t say anything for a long minute as he stared out the window. All at once, he laughed loudly and turned back to face the inside of the room, walking quickly to the door before stopping altogether.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come back to bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto blinked down before crouching and examining the floor. Akaashi sat up further and craned his neck to see the nothing he was studying intently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to </span>
  <em>
    <span>go,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto whined.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go where?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto looked over his far shoulder and stared into the shadows for a minute before laughing again. He shook his head and stood, walking quickly to the door before running right into the surface.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come to </span>
  <em>
    <span>bed, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kōtarō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi winced harshly at the sudden volume as Bokuto knocked on the door, and stood on instinct. He got most of the way to Bokuto before remembering his quick google searches. He shouldn’t try to wake him— but would touching him be okay? It was worth a shot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hesitantly reached out and placed a hand on Bokuto’s arm, successfully redirecting his attention back to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker stared right through him, “What are you? How’d you get in here? I want out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sleep with </span>
  <em>
    <span>you? </span>
  </em>
  <span>I don’t even know you,” Bokuto laughed before his voice fell flat again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Keiji, Bokuto-san. You’re sleeping. Come into the bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>you,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto nodded. “Why are—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker’s sentence dropped off abruptly as Akaashi gently led him back to the bed. Bokuto stared around the room before stopping and tearing his arm out of Akaashi’s grip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter sighed and turned to look at him, “Bo—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re an angel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto took Akaashi in his arms and Akaashi reluctantly hugged him back, weary about willingly putting himself in his path. He wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>scared </span>
  </em>
  <span>of Bokuto, but Bokuto wasn’t really Bokuto just then.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“And I’m the king! </span>
  </em>
  <span>My people have little paws.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They eat beans.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure they do, Kōtarō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I saw a plane.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And they took the corn— With their paws.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto sighed and wrapped Akaashi tightly in his arms before pressing his face into his neck. The setter was just glad he was back to not making sense. Any sense of ease drained promptly out of him as Bokuto began kissing his neck. Normally it was nice, but there was a sense of danger when he wasn’t truly in control of his actions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s breathing turned heavy as he transitioned to biting and sucking harshly. Akaashi panicked and tried pushing him away, not wanting marks on his body. He also didn’t want to reject Bokuto while he was in an unstable state, either. He didn’t know what to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need you to stop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His words fell on deaf ears as Bokuto simply held him tightly and pulled his tender skin between his teeth, heavy breaths rolling into soft moans.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kōtarō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi pushed at his chest, deciding he’d risk getting accidentally punched if it meant not being harassed— unintentionally or not. He shoved Bokuto back and the spiker’s arms fell easily from around him. He knew he meant no harm— and that he couldn’t really mean much of anything at all in that moment— but he felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>trying,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto snapped, but his face remained expressionless and his eyes remained glassy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. Get in bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto moved past him, stumbling over Akaashi’s bag on the floor, “They </span>
  <em>
    <span>steal. </span>
  </em>
  <span>They fucking steal, steal, steal—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Steal what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto climbed into the bed and gathered his blanket in his arms before curling around it, “You know or you don’t. Go home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi frowned down at him as his eyes slid shut. He tried </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>hard to remain unaffected by his words and actions— he didn’t mean them, he didn’t know what he was doing. He hadn’t been expecting him to </span>
  <em>
    <span>sleepwalk. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He was hitting on almost all of Akaashi’s insecurities, though, and it was hard not to be hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re here. You go. Trust me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared down at him as he pressed the blanket into his chest and fell idle at long last. He wasn’t sure what his next move should have been. He knew Bokuto wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>telling him to go home— in fact, he probably didn’t know he was talking to Akaashi at all. He was just… confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slowly turned and left the room, walking quickly to the bathroom. He covered the dull throb in his neck as he shut and locked the door behind himself. Looking into the mirror, he removed his hand and grimaced at the angry dark marks decorating his skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s not good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were too high up on his neck to be hidden with clothes, meaning everyone he ever knew would have to see them. If he went home and his mother saw that, surely he’d not be allowed back for any significant amount of time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That being said, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bokuto’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>parents seeing it could result in the same outcome. He sighed largely as he ran his thumb over the tender bruises.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If he was taking a risk on one mother or the other, it’d certainly be Bokuto’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned back to the door before swiftly passing by the open door of Ryota’s studio and quickly descended the stairs. As expected, Tsukiko was just starting with dinner. Akaashi slowly walked into the room with his hand still covering his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tsukiko-chan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The woman jumped before turning to smile at him, “Keiji!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her smile fell as she saw his clearly distressed demeanour. Akaashi stared at the ground for a second before bowing his head to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Could you please help me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sighed before dropping his hand from his neck, exposing his problems to her. She pressed her lips into a tight line, scaring Akaashi before laughing loudly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How have you dealt with them before?” She asked. “Just do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head, “I’ve never… Really, uh…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She raised her eyebrows as her smile fell again, “Oh! Really? Okay, well, um… What’s the goal here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Make them disappear?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She swiftly removed a spoon from the drawer, ran it under water and stuck it in the freezer, “I don’t know how possible it is. Are you open to makeup?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am open to anything that keeps people unaware of their existence.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded and laughed, “A good way to do that is to stop them before it happens.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi followed her to the downstairs bathroom, realizing he should probably inform her on what just happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t exactly able to prevent it. Nothing I said really… Reached him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She immediately stopped and turned at his tense tone, “What’d he do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head at his own cryptic wording born from his anxiety, “I apologize. I should’ve— Does Bokuto-san have a history of sleepwalking?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes turned understanding as she nodded, “Yeah. I’m really sorry, Keiji. It hasn’t happened in years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He waved a hand at her and sat as directed on the edge of the bathtub, “I don’t hold it against him. I understand he wasn’t aware of what he was doing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She removed a new toothbrush from a pack and began gently rubbing it into his bruises, “I appreciate you saying that, but it’s okay if it hurt you. I mean… You’re allowed to be hurt by it. Something like that is scary.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was rather frightening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be right back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He waited patiently until she returned with the cold spoon and winced as she placed it over the already burning area.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why does he sleepwalk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honestly, I’m not sure,” she frowned. “He has since he was a kid. His dad does, too. Or at least he used to. I think it’s genetic. We got him sleeping medication for nighttime, but he stopped taking it sometime just before high school because that was causing </span>
  <em>
    <span>different </span>
  </em>
  <span>issues— It was a whole big thing. Now he takes melatonin before bed, so we haven’t had this problem in a while.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded and watched as she began applying makeup to his neck, “He didn’t make much sense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” she laughed lightly. “He never really does.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose you’re right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We try to stop him from napping. Usually it was worse in the “light sleep” stages, so… You know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I apologize, I wasn’t aware.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t apologize. You didn’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They marinated in silence as she finished applying the different products to his skin. He basked in the feeling of finally having an adult human he seemed to be able to trust and speak to. His own mother would’ve had an aneurysm at the sight of presumed sexual markings on his skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, you’re free to go!” She stood and smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He easily returned the smile, “Thank you so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was just about to exit the room when she faintly called his name. He turned to see her facing away, fiddling with her makeup bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you… For being here for him. He…” She turned and smiled at him, “You make him really happy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s smile fell, but didn’t entirely leave as he whispered, “He makes me happy, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her smile grew and her eyes brightened, “Good. Would you mind waking him for dinner?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded, “I’ll try.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, Bokuto took melatonin before sleeping. That made a lot of sense. It explained why he was so difficult to disturb during sleep and why he fell asleep so swiftly at night. He slowly went up the stairs again, feeling reluctant to see Bokuto again so soon. He knew it wasn’t his fault, but the experience was taxing on him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a deep breath before pushing the door open and flipping the light on, “Bokuto-san.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed as he didn’t get so much as a twitch, then slowly approached and nudged him in the arm, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Bokuto-san.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker stirred and groaned, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“What?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dinner is soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto frowned before squinting up at him against the light, but at least his eyes were alive again, “Wha— What time is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nearly seven thirty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When’d you get up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi watched him roll onto his back and rub his eyes before yawning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not long before you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto nodded and opened his arm to him, “C’mere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi eyed him wearily, “We should really go downstairs. Your mom asked me to wake you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eh, c’mon, it’s fine,” Bokuto pulled at him. “C’mere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sighed and crawled over him before laying just outside of his arms. Bokuto rolled over and smiled at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so beautiful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Angelic, even?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto furrowed his brow, “Yeah! Totally!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi chuckled lightly, “Hey, do you know what the word malaise means?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker frowned deeply, “Hey, you said we’re studying </span>
  <em>
    <span>after </span>
  </em>
  <span>dinner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi actually laughed, feeling lighter the more he could separate the experience he just had from his boyfriend, “Yeah, I did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shifted forward and pressed a warm kiss to his lips, which Akaashi returned gladly. Bokuto sat back a bit in surprise but quickly took Akaashi’s cheek in his hand as his boyfriend moved forward, bringing enthusiasm to the lazy kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s other hand snaked around his back as Akaashi pushed onto his knees and directed him onto his back. He tugged on Akaashi’s shirt as the setter moved his lips from his mouth to his neck. He smiled as he felt the not so innocent and less inexperienced touches against his skin before frowning and pushing him back slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you smell like </span>
  <em>
    <span>makeup?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I’m wearing some.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi pursed his lips before deciding on honesty, “You sleepwalked and gave me marks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>what?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto sat up. “Oh, god. What’d I do? Was it stupid? Did I hurt you? I don’t think I would, bu—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shh, no. It was fine. A bit unsettling but I’m okay now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laid back and wiped his thumb over Akaashi’s cheek, “I’m sorry. I didn’t think I’d have to worry about that anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be sorry,” Akaashi shook his head. “I was just worried. I lo—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto pulled him down by the front of his shirt to silence him with a kiss. Akaashi huffed, but allowed it to happen. Bokuto pulled away as suddenly as he pushed into it and stared deeply into Akaashi’s eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel terrible. I’m sorry, Keiji. What’d I do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, really. Spoke a lot of nonsense, mostly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto hesitantly smiled, “Was any of it funny?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh,” Akaashi thought. “Not really. But I guess that you’re the king of a species of ‘people with tiny paws’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s smile faded into humiliation, “What the fuck?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“And </span>
  </em>
  <span>they eat beans.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well, if they eat </span>
  <em>
    <span>beans, </span>
  </em>
  <span>then that’s totally normal,” Bokuto huffed but smiled at Akaashi’s laugh. “What else?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, someone had a cleaver in the closet, apparently. You also told me to go home because “they’re here” and to “trust you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s cheeks grew darker as he averted his eyes, “I see you didn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>trust me, then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed and toyed with the front of Bokuto’s shirt, “I do. Just only when you’re awake.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And that is a </span>
  <em>
    <span>smart </span>
  </em>
  <span>answer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s smile fell a bit as Bokuto looked back up at him, “What’s it like?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sleepwalking?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Do you dream when you do it? You weren’t really in touch with reality.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shrugged, “I dunno, I don’t remember. But probably.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laid himself across Bokuto’s chest and closed his eyes as his boyfriend busied himself toying with his curls, “Do you ever dream?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not that I can remember,” he paused. “But if I do, it’s probably about you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“God, </span>
  </em>
  <span>you’re so lame,” Akaashi laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I’m not,” Bokuto muttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s heart clenched as he listened to the solid thumping of Bokuto’s heart. His voice boomed in his ear as he lay on his chest. His scent and general presence surrounded Akaashi and soothed him. The sensation of his hands in his hair shook away any bad feelings he had previously. He was so overcome by affection for the boy that he wasn’t sure what to do with himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed and ran his hand over Bokuto’s chest then down over his side, then back up before slipping beneath his shirt. Bokuto stared down at him with a small smile, feeling complete under his touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He closed his eyes and exhaled sharply as Akaashi’s hand ran up over his pectoral muscle, digging the pads of his fingers into it the best he could. He did his best to relax his body as Akaashi massaged his way down his chest to his abdomen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s eyes snapped open as his hand didn’t stop there. His breath hitched as Akaashi’s fingers skipped over the elastic of his sweatpants and explored further down, grazing over him. Bokuto sighed and closed his eyes, putting one hand behind his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi was as skittish as an unsocialized puppy and he didn’t want to do anything to scare him off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That being said, the moment was so greatly anticipated by the spiker that his body was just about shutting down beneath his nerves. He really wasn’t one to fear judgment over his body— because, really, his body was </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect— </span>
  </em>
  <span>but Akaashi wasn’t as easily impressed as most people. Bokuto </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>had to chase him for a long time before he got so much as a second glance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shifted his hips slightly as Akaashi took a braver pass at him. He exhaled through his nose as his boyfriend palmed at him through his sweatpants.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gripped at Akaashi’s shirt but quickly dropped his hand as the setter sat up and moved his head up to attach his lips to Bokuto’s in a shy kiss. Bokuto kept his one hand under his head and used the other to run up Akaashi’s ribs beneath his shirt. He kept a loose grip on him as he continued to grope at Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto cocked one leg at the knee as he leaned up to intensify the kiss, then leaned further to chase Akaashi’s lips as he pulled away. He was about to whine when he realized the setter’s attention was on removing his sweatpants.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto swallowed and lifted his hips to aid in his efforts, then laid fully back once again with his pants down around his thighs. Akaashi leaned onto one hand with a very red face as he hesitantly reached back over Bokuto’s underwear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi eyed the way the tight fabric wrapped around his thick thighs and exhaled shakily, feeling nervous but particularly brave. He looked back up to Bokuto before slowly moving to straddle him. His boyfriend ran his hands up his sides under his shirt, shooting ice through him and leaving behind goosebumps.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stared up up at him, his heart beating a mile a minute. Seriously, he thought he’d die. Akaashi leaned down and Bokuto swallowed thickly before meeting his lips. He met Akaashi’s touches as they came with an equal amount of enthusiasm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hands dug into Akaashi’s hips as the setter’s lips became hungry and brazen. Their cheeks became slick as the kisses became longer and heavier. Bokuto gasped slightly as he felt something he’d never felt before against the base of his abdomen in the form of someone else’s erection.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi pulled back slightly, “Do you want… If you want, I can try to…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto peeked up at him, “Try to what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s face flushed an even deeper red as he gestured vaguely behind him with his head. Bokuto shifted slightly under him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, uh, actually— I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>to, it’s just—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi furrowed his brow as he sat back slightly, finding… Nothing, really. He furrowed his brow further as he sat up on his knees and turned, pressing into Bokuto’s non-erection gently with his fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Bokuto breathed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto quickly pushed himself up onto his elbows, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“No! </span>
  </em>
  <span>God, no. No, of course not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi refused to meet his eye, “Is it that I’m a boy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Bokuto shook his head vigorously and sat fully up to wrap his arms around him before burying his face in his chest. “I’m just… </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>nervous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi quickly looked down at him, “You? You’re… nervous? Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto pressed his face harder into his chest, breathing in the scent of his shirt before whispering, “You’re just so perfect, I just… I don’t know. I’m just worried, I guess?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi shook his head, “What? That doesn’t make any sense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, but that’s how I feel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi hummed and hugged him closely, pressing his cheek onto his hair, “I thought you’ve, like, had sex before?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but it isn’t about that. This is different.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>you. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It means something to me. I don’t want to fuck up, but…” Bokuto laughed wryly. “Oops.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t fuck up,” Akaashi kissed the top of his head. “You’re really sweet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto blinked in shock at hearing the profanity from him before smiling warmly, “You’re the best.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, you didn’t care about the sex you’ve had before? Or that girl? Or… girls?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s smile fell, “I wouldn’t really say that. I didn’t—“ </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Love them.’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>He paused, catching the words. “It just wasn’t the same.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How many people have you slept with?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto let out a long breath and laid back down heavily, “Three.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared down at him before laying beside him and laughing slightly as he pulled his pants back up, “What were they like?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like, in </span>
  <em>
    <span>bed?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto glanced sideways at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Generally.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shrugged before tucking his hands behind his head and staring up at the ceiling, “I don’t know, man. Fine, I guess? I don’t really think about them anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Were you dating the two before your last girlfriend?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto nodded, “Yeah. The first one, Miki, lasted about three months. The second girl, Natsumi, was with me for about five. I say the second girl, but I actually dated her after the one I told you about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you only refer to the other girl as your girlfriend, then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because we never went public with our relationship. I guess Natsumi wasn’t really a </span>
  <em>
    <span>girlfriend. </span>
  </em>
  <span>We were just kinda hooking up, but girlfriend is easier to say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see. When was that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glanced sideways at him again, “Just before I met you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. The one I told you about initially, Akemi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She really played me, dude. She had me doubting my intelligence— No, she had me doubting my </span>
  <em>
    <span>volleyball skills, </span>
  </em>
  <span>dude. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>sucked. </span>
  </em>
  <span>That’s why I refused to actually date Natsumi. She wanted to, but I just didn’t feel like letting anyone in just yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s terrible, Kōtarō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s whatever. Then I saw you for the first time. And I knew it was time to get over it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi smiled at him, “Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep! So, if you don’t mind, I have a beautiful man in my bed and I’d like to focus on him. I don’t really want to think about irrelevant people.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Akaashi pushed himself off and started climbing over Bokuto to the edge of the bed, “I’ll just leave you two alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed loudly and caught him around the waist, “Hey, hey, hey, get over here, loser.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed and fell back over him, “Nooooo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Boys! Dinner!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They looked at each other for a second before Bokuto pushed Akaashi up and followed him down the stairs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Akaashi came back into the bedroom after showering and Bokuto beamed at the sight of his long-due-to-saturation hair. He sat up on one elbow and smiled as he followed his boyfriend around the room with his eyes, examining and appreciating his change of clothes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wore nothing on his feet, loose shorts and one of Bokuto’s shirts. The fabric hung very loosely around his frame, covering most of his shorts, as it was large on Bokuto to begin with. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>adorable.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi turned and bent over to put his toothbrush back into his overnight bag and Bokuto’s jaw dropped slightly at the sight of the large, dark, red-purple markings along his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Holy shit that’s so fucking hot.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop staring at me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But that ass, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glared up at him with dark pink cheeks and it was the </span>
  <em>
    <span>most </span>
  </em>
  <span>endearing sight Bokuto had to suffer through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Make me,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto sang with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi smirked back, hurting Bokuto’s heart, and approached the bed slowly. He leaned over the side of it, mere centimetres above his lips. Bokuto shut his eyes in anticipation, but instead of Akaashi’s lips, his face was covered harshly with a pillow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed loudly before shoving the pillow away, “Touche.” Only he pronounced it like </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘tushy’.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s pronounced </span>
  <em>
    <span>too-shay. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Literally— Just… Stop. Quit while you’re ahead,” Akaashi shook his head as he turned around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s goofy grin never fell as he reached out and kicked Akaashi in the ass, “I know what I said.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glared back over his shoulder, “I need you to do something for me. Can you do something for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d chop someone up with an axe if you’d ask me to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi fully turned back to stare perturbedly at him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay, what?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed, “What? You like a bad boy. I know you, Akaashi Keiji.I know what you </span>
  <em>
    <span>want.</span>
  </em>
  <span> And that is someone that’d chop other people up with axes for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re </span>
  </em>
  <span>a bad boy?” Akaashi crossed his arms, but his small smile was vaguely amused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Obviously.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi nodded before turning back around, “How could I have been so naive? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Hey, don’t forget to put your retainer in before bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“My retainer </span>
  </em>
  <span>keeps my teeth </span>
  <em>
    <span>straight,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto glared playfully at the back of his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m aware.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then don’t make fun of it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh huh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’d you need from me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I was going to ask you to smarten up, but alas. It seems entirely impossible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto beamed harder as Akaashi turned out the light and crawled over Bokuto to get to the inside side of the bed. He rolled over and faced his boyfriend, breathing in his scent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He noticed that the more time he spent at his house, the less he smelled of the ocean and the more he just smelled of </span>
  <em>
    <span>him. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He took to bringing his own washes over so that their teammates wouldn’t catch on to the fact that they suddenly started smelling of the same scents. Akaashi Keiji was rather detail oriented. Bokuto didn’t mind, though. While Akaashi smelling of his soaps had a charm of its own, he prefered his signature scent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter stared down at Bokuto’s open arms for a minute, “Your retainer. We </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>talked about that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto groaned, “Relax. I fully intend on </span>
  <em>
    <span>smooching </span>
  </em>
  <span>on you first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Akaashi chuckled. “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter blushed as his boyfriend took his face in his hands and gently brushed their lips together. It took no time at all for the exchange to become steamy with Akaashi clinging tightly to his ace and Bokuto’s hands wandering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sighed against his mouth as his hand found its way to his ass, squeezing gently. Bokuto slowly shifted up and worked his way between his boyfriend’s legs, never breaking their kiss. Akaashi rolled onto his back and wrapped his arms around Bokuto’s neck. The spiker pulled away and turned Akaashi’s face away to examine his marks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Honestly?” Akaashi breathed, drawing the spiker’s eyes up to his. “I kind of like them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto beamed, “Yeah, well, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>love </span>
  </em>
  <span>them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Akaashi laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m jealous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto sat back with wide eyes as Akaashi turned his head back to stare up at him and change his life forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can give you some, too. If you can keep a secret, that is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto transformed into a kettle, rattling under the pressure of the heat that formed in his body. He figured he ought to start praying to Akaashi each morning and every night before bed. There was a long moment before he remembered to suck in a breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he squeaked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed loudly at him before pulling him back down around the shoulders. Bokuto eagerly met his lips again and smiled as he wrapped his legs around his waist. The weight of Akaashi’s legs on his hips </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>got old. He took one hand and made his way up and down Akaashi’s thigh, pushing his shorts further up with every pass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi broke away from his lips and moved down his neck, then even further to his chest. Bokuto’s breathing deepened as he leaned forward to give him easier access to the skin. He opened his eyes slightly and moved his hand back up into the pillows to steady himself as Akaashi bit and sucked at his skin with every intention of marking him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Holy fuck.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d be walking around, quite literally marked as Akaashi Keiji’s. The first and </span>
  <em>
    <span>only </span>
  </em>
  <span>person to ever be able to say that— not that he even could. His eyes squeezed shut as Akaashi pushed his hips up against him, allowing Bokuto to feel his arousal for the second time ever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The action both turned Bokuto on </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>frustrated the hell out of him. No matter how he tried, he just couldn’t get it up. He couldn’t get past his fears.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Who even am I? I spend my entire life trying </span>
  </em>
  <span>not </span>
  <em>
    <span>to be hard, but then </span>
  </em>
  <span>this </span>
  <em>
    <span>happens the second I </span>
  </em>
  <span>want </span>
  <em>
    <span>to be?’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Once Akaashi was satisfied with the shade of purple he left behind, his lips climbed back up Bokuto’s neck, occasionally stopping to leave a small mark— but nothing that couldn’t be covered with clothing. They still had school the next morning, after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto panted against his ear as he sucked away on his skin. Akaashi occasionally pressed up and into him, furthering all the feelings within Bokuto as he seemed only to get </span>
  <em>
    <span>more </span>
  </em>
  <span>turned on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spiker frowned, his frustration peaking, and took control of the situation. He bit lightly at Akaashi’s neck and shoulder as he took his thighs in his hands, dipping their hips harshly together. Akaashi gasped loudly in his ear at the direct contact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this okay?” Bokuto asked flatly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Akaashi breathed, squeezing his eyes shut as Bokuto ground into him again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto kept at it for all of a minute, trying anything he could within his head to just… get hard, but couldn’t. The more he tried, the further the feeling got from him. Mostly, it was just feeling like he was more or less spitting directly in Akaashi’s face. He was practically telling him he wasn’t attractive and that felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrible </span>
  </em>
  <span>because it just wasn’t true.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t do it,” Bokuto huffed. “I’m sorry. I’m trying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi breathed heavily as he pet his hair, “I understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>to. Seriously. I ju—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shh,” Akaashi squeezed him with his legs, “I understand. Don’t explain.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re perfect.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto sat up a bit after not receiving a response from Akaashi. He wiped his thumb over the setter’s cheek as he lay back with his eyes shut. The touch prompted him to open his eyes, absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>flooring </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto with the unbridled lust behind them. He leaned down and pressed a slow, meaningful kiss to his lips and Akaashi clung to the touch. Bokuto smiled into the kiss as Akaashi held him very closely to himself. The setter huffed and made small, wanting noises against his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto pulled back and Akaashi clung tightly to his shoulders, causing him to move up with him. The spiker laughed breathily as Akaashi opened his eyes and demanded the return of contact with nothing more than a quick facial expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keiji, do you want me to get you off?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi hid his face in Bokuto’s neck and whispered very quietly, “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed, “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Truth be told, Bokuto had no idea how to start, but he was rather experienced with himself— So, how different could it really be? He sat up and smiled down at Akaashi, who turned his head to the side in an attempt to continue hiding from him. He slowly moved and put a hand to the front of his boyfriend’s shorts for the first time ever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pressure pushing back into his palm was both familiar and foreign, but not </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad. </span>
  </em>
  <span>In fact, since it was Akaashi’s body— something he was very private about— Bokuto </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved </span>
  </em>
  <span>it. He loved that he was allowed the privilege to so much as glance at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi exhaled sharply and his hips instinctively pushed up into him to the minutest degree. Bokuto bit his cheek as he palmed at him. Akaashi’s eyes slid tightly shut as his breathing became loud. Bokuto furrowed his brow at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Does it really feel that good? I’m not even doing much.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shifted on his knees and hooked his fingers around the elastic of both his shorts and underwear before raising an eyebrow at him, “You sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi covered his red face with both hands before raising his hips and nodding. Bokuto chuckled before pulling the garments off, exposing his boyfriend to him. He pushed Akaashi’s shirt up around his chest and ran his hand back down his abdomen, then around his hip and then his thigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi was bigger than he thought he’d be. He was only around average length— </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe </span>
  </em>
  <span>a bit above average, but that was a soft maybe— but Bokuto assumed he didn’t have a very large dick, honestly. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was the way they went three months without it ever making even a slight, accidental appearance in any sense of the word. If Bokuto didn’t know any better, until that very day, he wouldn’t have even known Akaashi had a dick at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto took a deep breath in and leaned down to kiss Akaashi’s cheek lightly as he slowly curled his fingers around him. The setter squeezed his eyes shut as he let out a shaky breath, automatically pushing up into his hand and blushing impossibly harder.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘That’s not so weird. Just… backwards.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Once the initial touch was made, Bokuto felt more comfortable to move back again, and so he did. He moved his hand along Akaashi’s length with a light pressure. When he looked back up at Akaashi’s face, his gut twisted painfully at the sight of him looking down with hooded eyes and parted lips and very, </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>red cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto studied his face closely as he slowly applied more pressure and slid his hand along slightly faster. His gut twisted again as Akaashi tilted his head back and shut his eyes once again. Bokuto quickly looked down and used his free hand to push down at the tent that was growing in his own pants, suddenly feeling relieved at its appearance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Feeling slightly more masculine, Bokuto was prepared to commit more fully to his boyfriend and put more soul into his performance. The very first honest to god moan he got from Akaashi Keiji sealed the deal. Meek, breathy and elusive as hell scalded Bokuto’s soul and brought his own erection to full attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After exactly five, firm and broad pumps created from Bokuto’s new confidence of knowing he was not in fact impotent, Akaashi quickly moved his hand to Bokuto’s wrist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wha—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto’s head snapped from Akaashi’s face as he threw his head back and let out a groan from deep within himself, then back down to where he came. Bokuto’s eyes widened as he quickly got back to work, wanting him to fully enjoy it. Akaashi tried to get the shirt out of the way, but wound up failing as he shot too far up to </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>get it on the fabric one way or the other. Bokuto watched, once again pushing at the tent in his pants as Akaashi groaned lowly. The setter seemed entirely lost in the sensation, not realizing that he just finished in under a minute flat. Or maybe he did and just didn’t mind much. But the way he covered his eyes and avoided Bokuto’s existence the second he came back to reality told the ace it definitely was the former.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stared up at him, not stopping touching himself as he took in the sight of a nearly nude Akaashi Keiji in his bed, covered in his own cum. The fact that he finished in less than a minute </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>things to Bokuto— and his embarrassment didn’t hurt, either. It was very endearing.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘I love you so, so fucking much.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto squeezed his eyes shut to block out any sight of Akaashi, hoping to bite the emotion down.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘You can’t tell him that.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He let out a very slow and controlled exhale, hoping— praying to find his brain again. He pinched the bridge of his nose harshly, reminding himself he did in fact physically exist. The further he fell into that mindset, the softer he went again, only frustrating him more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto moved his hand slightly and peeked out at Akaashi from around the partial obstruction, “Huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The setter laid back with his hands still over his eyes, but what was visible of his face from underneath was </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>red, “That was so embarrassing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto chuckled and reached for the tissues on his side table, “Nah. It was great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi pushed up on one hand, “No. That was, like, every guy’s worst nightmare.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto hummed as he started tenderly cleaning his boyfriend up, tongue slightly stuck out in focus, “Even worse than, like… I don’t know. Ghosts?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Ghosts aren’t real.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s how they getcha. They make ya think they don’t exist and then they strangle you in the shower.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi furrowed his brow, “I don’t think… That’s true.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s to say? Neither of us have been strangled in the shower by a ghost.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fair enough, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed in silence for a minute as Bokuto took his sweet time with cleaning him. Akaashi’s embarrassment seemed to be mostly forgotten for the current moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>scared of, Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like, stupid shit or real shit?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Bokuto breathed, running his hand over Akaashi’s hip, “There’s not much. Things like finding a brown recluse spider in a pair of shoes I haven’t worn in awhile or turning around and seeing someone standing there when I thought I was alone. Silly things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi frowned at the strangely specific scenarios, “What about a real thing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto averted his gaze and grabbed the used tissues before standing to discard them. Akaashi promptly replaced his shorts back over his body before watching Bokuto. Once the tissues were discarded, the spiker did not turn around. Akaashi took in his slightly slumped shoulders beneath his tight black shirt and the way his very loose grey sweatpants sagged around his hips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto-san?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto perked up a tad, remembering that Akaashi asked him something at all and turned with the smallest smile before turning away again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice was hardly more than an aural illusion, “Being forgotten. Dying without doing anything that meant anything to anyone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sat up slightly and frowned deeply, “You’ve already conquered that fear, then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto slowly climbed into the bed next to him, kissed him gently, then whispered against his lips, “This is the </span>
  <em>
    <span>worst </span>
  </em>
  <span>pillow talk I’ve ever had to sit through.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed loudly, “I suppose it is rather macabre.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto sat back and shook his head with wide eyes, “Fuckin’ </span>
  <em>
    <span>what?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed harder, “Morbid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ya, you lost me, dude.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To appeal to an abnormal or unhealthy interest in disturbing and unpleasant topics.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto eyed him up before turning onto his back, “Yeah. Mah-kab, then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maw-cob.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi frowned as Bokuto very actively avoided looking at him. Anxiety crept in and sat very heavily on the centre of his chest. He slowly reached out and ran his fingers through Bokuto’s flat and still slightly damp hair. His boyfriend tilted his head up into the touch, confusing Akaashi further.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you mad at me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? No?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto looked down at his doe eyes and immediately regretted it as he had to literally bite his tongue to keep from confessing. It was getting too damn </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He quickly kissed him on the forehead to distract himself before laying back and staring at the ceiling again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kōtarō?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keiji?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi pushed himself up slightly more, resting his chin on Bokuto’s chest, “Why’d you stop taking medication for your sleepwalking?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto glanced at him, “How’d you know? Mom told you, didn’t she?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s fine,” Bokuto sighed and stared intently at the ceiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to answer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” he repeated. “When I was a kid, like, twelve, I’d sleepwalk, like, every night. It was getting to the point where I was actively hurting myself twice a week.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ouch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep. One night I actually left the house and luckily met a </span>
  <em>
    <span>friendly </span>
  </em>
  <span>stranger. We went to the doctor that day and he gave me fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>benzos, </span>
  </em>
  <span>dude. I was twelve. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Twelve.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s crazy. Did you stop because you got addicted to them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Bokuto nearly snapped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry if that was rude.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” his voice immediately softened and his hand went to Akaashi’s hair, but he still didn’t look at him. “It caused something called ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>respiratory depression’.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” Akaashi furrowed his brow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, we originally went back to the doctor because my parents thought I was just, like, </span>
  <em>
    <span>depressed </span>
  </em>
  <span>depressed, but when my lips started turning blue all the time they figured it was something different.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Blue?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I guess I wasn’t getting enough oxygen. I don’t know. Doctors are wildin’. But we got me off that shit and I’ve been fine. Had to use an inhaler for a while, though. I looked like a fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>nerd.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“At least you were alive, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“True. And now I’m the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fourth best spiker!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are,” Akaashi smiled warmly when Bokuto finally smiled at him. “Still not top three, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, shuddup.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They laughed quietly, then laid in silence once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you scared of, Keiji?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi pursed his lips, “You know what I’m scared of.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>real </span>
  </em>
  <span>shit, but what are you dumb fears?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, umm,” he thought. “Dentists. Raccoons. Waking up and seeing you stare at me from the foot of the bed in the darkness again. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That </span>
  </em>
  <span>was unsettling.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bokuto laughed, “No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was very... </span>
  <em>
    <span>interesting. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Definitely could say that is now a fear I am very aware of.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just honored to be included,” Bokuto laughed awkwardly. “Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be sorry. Just… please take your melatonin before we sleep from now on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Deal,” Bokuto laughed. “Speaking of.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pushed himself up and Akaashi sat back. The setter watched him take a bottle of melatonin from his bedside drawer and placed two small capsules under his tongue. Then, he watched him put his retainer in— which was the most </span>
  <em>
    <span>unattractive </span>
  </em>
  <span>but surprisingly charming thing Akaashi ever saw.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto wiggled his eyebrows at him, “Ready for schleep?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi barked out a laugh, “But your </span>
  <em>
    <span>inhaler </span>
  </em>
  <span>made you look like a nerd.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>shaid </span>
  </em>
  <span>don’t make fun of it,” Bokuto glared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not, I’m not,” Akaashi laughed loudly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’sh shexchy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed harder, pulling back and covering his mouth with his hand, “Oh, my </span>
  <em>
    <span>god.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shtop </span>
  <em>
    <span>laughing! </span>
  </em>
  <span>Beauty comesh with a prische, Akaathschi!”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Please, stop talking,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi howled, holding his sides as he wheezed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto watched him with amused eyes and a soft smile as he fell apart. His body tingled minutely as the warmth of the bed became more inviting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m tired.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s laugh teetered off slowly, “Right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto slowly stood, feeling hazy and shut the light off before clambering back to the bed and crashing harshly beside Akaashi. He easily took the setter into his arms and exhaled harshly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m shorry that I can’t get or schtay hard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi tensed up slightly, “I said don’t apologize.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I jusht feel… </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Like half a man.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Akaashi closed his eyes. “I couldn’t manage to get it up for a long time either. Not really since the day I confessed to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi took a deep, stabling breath, “I guess I was just really nervous— imagine that. I’ve never been so intimate with anyone. In fact, my extremest level of physical intimacy has never surpassed a friendly hug. It just scared me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what happened tonight?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi shrugged, “I guess knowing that you’re nervous too made me less afraid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re scho fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>cute.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not cute, Kōtarō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Agree to dishagree.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto stared up at the ceiling with wavering eyelids, not quite ready to say goodnight to Akaashi, but knowing he’d have to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi glanced up at him, “For what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto removed his arm from around his boyfriend and faced away, silently declaring himself the little spoon for the night, “Truschting me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi wrapped his arm around his waist and pressed his forehead between his shoulder blades, “Of course I trust you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m really shorry for, like, moleschting you while I wash schleeping.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, then I forgive you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanksh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto shut his eyes as his vision faded darker and darker, “You mean a lot to me. Thanksh for being here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi opened his eyes as affection swelled painfully in his chest, “There’s nowhere I’d rather be, Kōtarō. I l—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Schhh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi frowned deeply and shut his eyes again, squeezing Bokuto before pulling away, “Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are you going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Over here,” Akaashi muttered as he rolled onto his back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How come?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto sighed heavily and squeezed his eyes tight against the pain in his chest. He could </span>
  <em>
    <span>hear </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi thinking</span>
  <em>
    <span> ‘why don’t you love me? You’re just like everyone else’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>and that was more pain than he could handle. He’d deal with having to stay silent later, he just couldn’t allow a human angel to fall asleep thinking something was wrong with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Keiji, want to hear a shong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What song?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Want to hear it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto reached over the bed and into his bag for his phone that he hadn’t touched since before their practice after classes. He squinted against his screen and laid back, finding the song.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned his phone off as the music began and Akaashi closed his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you don’t listen to music?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like it when it makesh me think of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘What would I do without your smart mouth?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Drawing me in, and you kicking me out</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mostly I lischtened to this before we really got together,” Bokuto whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi frowned as his eyes slowly opened again so he could stare at the ceiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘What's going on in that beautiful mind?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm on your magical mystery ride</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi turned his head to look at Bokuto who laid on his back with his eyes shut. His hand laid over his phone on his chest. He seemed entirely relaxed despite the boldness of the lyrics.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘How many times do I have to tell you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even when you're crying you're beautiful too</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sighed as he watched Bokuto mouth along to the lyrics, feeling both pain and fullness in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘You're my downfall, you're my muse</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto blindly reached out and pulled Akaashi back into his chest, running his thumb over his shoulder, massaging his skin gingerly through the loose fabric.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘'Cause all of me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Loves all of you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Love your curves and all your edges</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All your perfect imperfections’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi rested his head firmly over Bokuto’s heart, hearing the steady beat of it and the strong swellings of his breaths.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Give your all to me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'll give my all to you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You're my end and my beginning</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even when I lose I'm winning’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think you undershtand now?” Bokuto asked, stopping the music.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand anything, Kōtarō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto heaved a large sigh before leaning back down and retrieving the white notebook from his bag and handing it to Akaashi. The setter laid back and took it gently between his fingers, his eyes immediately moving to where his name was nearly no longer visible on the label on the front. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Back cover.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi tore his eyes from the label and flipped to the back of the notebook, seeing only </span>
  <em>
    <span>hundreds </span>
  </em>
  <span>of tally marks done in various writing utensils.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This… Doesn’t really clear anything up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto rolled onto his side and stared at the way the street lamps reflected over Akaashi’s eyes, hiding the brilliant blue from the world. Bokuto removed his retainer from his mouth, grimacing at the wet squelching sound it produced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I put one there every time I’ve wanted to tell you how much I love you,” Akaashi’s head snapped up at his words. “Ever since we got together, anyway. I didn’t mark any of the times before that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Before?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Akaashi balked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto nodded, pulling the blanket up to his nose, “I’ve loved you since the moment I met you, Keiji. I’m not kidding.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You…” Akaashi stared at him, tears swelling in his eyes. “Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Obviously. I wasn’t exactly </span>
  <em>
    <span>discreet.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looked back down and ran his finger over the tallies, “There’s got to be like—“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Three hundred eighty two.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looked up at him, tears more prominent than ever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But if you include today that brings us up to three hundred ninety four.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then why wouldn’t you let me say it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto sighed and looked away from his eyes, “Because I knew once I said it, I wouldn’t be able to </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>say it all the time. I want to respect your need for privacy… So, I tried to stop you from saying it. But. You know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I couldn’t let you go to sleep thinking I don’t love you,” Bokuto’s voice clipped slightly, terribly saddened by the words. “Because I do. A lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi gripped the notebook until his knuckles went white as he finally got to whisper the full sentence, “I love you, Kōtarō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Keiji.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto took the notebook and flipped to a particularly worn page before handing it back. Akaashi stared at the various messy notes on it, tears threatening dangerously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a list of every song on our study playlist you used to play before we started really talking about things. I slowly figured them all out. I know all the words to every single one. I even know which ones you like more than others and which ones you’d skip.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi bit harshly down on his lip as he ran his finger over a note that read </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘makes him sad, tell him you don’t like it’, </span>
  </em>
  <span>“You think far too much of me, Kōtarō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi abandoned the notebook on Bokuto’s abdomen as he leaned down to kiss him. The spiker smiled largely against his lips and pulled him in around the waist, careful to keep his retainer between his fingers. After a long moment of short, sweet kisses, Bokuto pulled away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No offense, but can we go to sleep? I’m runnin’ on fumes here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, yes, of course. Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto threw the notebook down to the floor before putting his retainer back in and pulled Akaashi closer into his chest. He nuzzled his face in his soft hair with a very large, very genuine smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shay it again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That you love me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Fuck yeah, you do! </span>
  </em>
  <span>I love you too, Keiji!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed into his chest, “Please try to keep it under control tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, I know. But how will you know if I love you if I don’t remind you, shay, onsche every twenty minutesh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, valid concern. See, I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>a bird and can therefore retain certain information for </span>
  <em>
    <span>longer </span>
  </em>
  <span>than the duration of twenty minutes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>a bird?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unfortunately not,” Akaashi said gravely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what are we </span>
  <em>
    <span>doing, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Keiji? I can’t fuck with you anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed and nodded as Bokuto playfully pushed him away, “Understandable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto laughed hard as Akaashi rolled away and pulled him back in, “Oh, my god. Come here. Schtoppit, I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, and I thought my </span>
  <em>
    <span>name </span>
  </em>
  <span>shounded good coming out of your mouth but </span>
  <em>
    <span>that— That </span>
  </em>
  <span>ish shomething elshe entirely.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>want to continue this loving discussion but I </span>
  <em>
    <span>cannot </span>
  </em>
  <span>take you seriously with that thing in your mouth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto blinked, “Why do you hate me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then </span>
  <em>
    <span>schtop making fun of my retainer.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi laughed hard, “Stop being a </span>
  <em>
    <span>losher.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto gasped loudly, “That’sh it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto kissed him deeply, “You’re the mosht perfect pershon ever, Akaathschi Keiji.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi sighed into his mouth, “You make me incredibly happy, Kōtarō. I’m very thankful we met.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too. You have no idea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as the setter was about to settle back down into his chest, Bokuto took him by the chin. He stared over his features for a moment before smiling softly and reclaiming his lips. He finally let go of his boyfriend and allowed him to lay down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto frowned and took out his retainer, “What am I telling the guys tomorrow when they see my marks? What are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>telling the guys tomorrow when they see </span>
  <em>
    <span>your </span>
  </em>
  <span>marks?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi shrugged, “I’m covering mine. You can tell them whatever you want so long as I am left out of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, I can tell them I’m seeing a girl?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi tensed up slightly, “Sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That doesn’t bother you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if I told them her name is Yuko and she has a </span>
  <em>
    <span>fat ass?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And that I love her </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>much and that she’s actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>talented in a bunch of subjects but for some reason doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>understand how great she is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi furrowed his brow, “No?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about if I mentioned how much my parents love her and how I think it really may just last forever and I can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>wait </span>
  </em>
  <span>to see the things we’ll do together? Because if she’s by my side there’s nothing I can’t do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looked up at him, “Kōtarō?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yessum.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you talking about me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I’m talkin’ about </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yuko. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She’s fuckin’ hot dude, you wouldn’t believe it. She’d take your breath away and leave you wondering what the big deal was about the sun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kōtarō…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And then suddenly you pay attention in literature classes because when she came into your life poetry and words started making sense to you. And… It’s like… Those things have meaning, because she’s there between all the lines.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi stared at him as he stared up at the ceiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you never wanted night to come before, but then suddenly when the sun sets, it’s like… I don’t know. It’s like it doesn’t matter, because you know she’s still there. And everything’s still bright because she </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>the sun, and… I don’t know. She’s all that matters. You know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto paused and pressed his lips together before smiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And everything feels so warm and sunny all the time. Like constant summer. Then there’s the thing that makes no sense to me at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s that?” Akaashi whispered, mesmerized.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bokuto looked over at him with a huge smile, “The entire world could be watching me but if </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span> eyes aren’t on me then it’s like no one sees me at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi’s lips quivered as he stared into Bokuto’s smile, “I don’t know what to say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then don’t say anything at all,” Bokuto shifted his smile to the ceiling, “Silence is as good as gold as long as it's with you— I mean, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yuko.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi wiped at his nose before laying back on his chest, “I love you so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, too, baby boy,” Bokuto slid his eyes shut. “Goodnight, Keiji.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Kōtarō.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence consumed them. Bokuto blinked up at the ceiling as his smile slowly sunk into a frown.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And then,” he whispered, pricking Akaashi’s ears. “Then she says things like, </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘you think too much of me’. </span>
  </em>
  <span>And you sit there and think about how you just don’t have the </span>
  <em>
    <span>ability </span>
  </em>
  <span>to process how great she really is. And you get frustrated because you don’t have the </span>
  <em>
    <span>words. </span>
  </em>
  <span>How can you explain something you can’t even understand? So…” Bokuto held him firmly. “So all you can say is, </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘I can’t possibly think </span>
  </em>
  <span>enough </span>
  <em>
    <span>of you’. </span>
  </em>
  <span>And hope that she understands what you mean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi wrapped his fingers in Bokuto’s shirt as he let out a slow, shaky breath. Bokuto slowly, slowly brought him in tighter, hugging him closely at a pace that was more leisurely than Akaashi ever thought him capable of. Then, he pressed his lips to Akaashi’s hair and rested his cheek on the top of his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” Bokuto whispered, “I cannot… </span>
  <em>
    <span>possibly… </span>
  </em>
  <span>think </span>
  <em>
    <span>enough </span>
  </em>
  <span>of you, Akaashi Keiji. And I hope you understand what I mean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They laid in heavy silence for a long while before Akaashi whispered to the darkness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you still up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Barely.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Akaashi looked up and poked him in the chin, “Your retainer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck.”</span>
</p>
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